therealljidol Season 10 Week 0-Introduction
Writing an introduction should be simple. The obvious things such as name, appearance, occupation, where one lives and all of those facts that immediately come to mind spring forward when that topic is presented.
I could write that list in my sleep. That would be simple. Would it be an introduction to who I am now?
Life in the past three years (or maybe longer) has been full of changes causing me to become more withdrawn. Endings such as the death of a parent, selling my childhood home, friendships changing and in some cases ending, have caused me to become more introspective. Thoughts have become so muddled in my head that putting feelings to virtual paper has become impossible. The absence in my Live Journal proves it. Every time I tried to come back and write what was happening, a feeling of anxiety overwhelmed me. I’d find anything I could to avoid writing more than 140 characters or letting people know what I was reading in a status update.
In transition seems to be the most obvious way to describe who I am now. I’ll be entering a new decade of life in the next few months. I’m rethinking what I’d like to do to keep active as my career is coming to a close. I don’t have the same excitement about my job, just coasting through until I can afford to wave happily as I walk out the door. I’ve identified with my work life for so long that trying to forge a new path is daunting.
I no longer need to play the role of “daughter.” Family of blood has been a difficult subject for me and now that the passing of my mother has happened, there are no more feelings of “I should…” Letting go of those feelings of guilt that accompany family pressures has taken some doing. Adjusting to that freedom without allowing others to negate those feelings has been freeing in so many ways.
I’m still of average height. I’m still an animal lover, I’m still a wife. I’m still passionate about music and books. I’m still happy with my life for the most part. Those things have not changed.
There is another facet of life, however, that I am exploring. Stay tuned to find out more about who I am and who I want to be.
***
This is my first entry for Season 10 of therealljidol. There is no voting this week. It feels good to be writing again!
I could write that list in my sleep. That would be simple. Would it be an introduction to who I am now?
Life in the past three years (or maybe longer) has been full of changes causing me to become more withdrawn. Endings such as the death of a parent, selling my childhood home, friendships changing and in some cases ending, have caused me to become more introspective. Thoughts have become so muddled in my head that putting feelings to virtual paper has become impossible. The absence in my Live Journal proves it. Every time I tried to come back and write what was happening, a feeling of anxiety overwhelmed me. I’d find anything I could to avoid writing more than 140 characters or letting people know what I was reading in a status update.
In transition seems to be the most obvious way to describe who I am now. I’ll be entering a new decade of life in the next few months. I’m rethinking what I’d like to do to keep active as my career is coming to a close. I don’t have the same excitement about my job, just coasting through until I can afford to wave happily as I walk out the door. I’ve identified with my work life for so long that trying to forge a new path is daunting.
I no longer need to play the role of “daughter.” Family of blood has been a difficult subject for me and now that the passing of my mother has happened, there are no more feelings of “I should…” Letting go of those feelings of guilt that accompany family pressures has taken some doing. Adjusting to that freedom without allowing others to negate those feelings has been freeing in so many ways.
I’m still of average height. I’m still an animal lover, I’m still a wife. I’m still passionate about music and books. I’m still happy with my life for the most part. Those things have not changed.
There is another facet of life, however, that I am exploring. Stay tuned to find out more about who I am and who I want to be.
***
This is my first entry for Season 10 of therealljidol. There is no voting this week. It feels good to be writing again!