Fic: Yusuf: An Epistolary Vignette
Yusuf: An Epistolary Vignette
Words: 600
Written for: the insearchtion
Dear Diary,
Found a strange cat on my doorstep today. It followed me into the shop and wouldn’t leave no matter how often I shooed it away. Fairly certain it doesn’t have rabies, but concerned it may have fleas. The customers seem to like it though, and keep leaning down to pet it (either unaware of, or not caring about the possibility of fleas). It does add a certain ambiance to the storefront, but really, I’ve enough things to take care of without adding a pet to the list. Hopefully it gets hungry and leaves soon.
-Yusuf
Dear Diary,
Strange cat left for a while and returned again. Presumably it has some other food and water source, but prefers my shop to whatever other environs it roam. An irritation, but as long as it stays out of the way, I’ve better things to do thab chase a cat around.
I think I hear a customer.
-Y
Dear Diary,
Today, a rather shady acquaintance I made at a cousin’s friend’s high stakes poker game came by the store, dragging along an entire village he’d apparently told about my profession. Does discretion mean nothing anymore?
I tell you, it was like the setup of a bad joke. What happens when an American, an Englishman, and a Japanese man in a ridiculously expensive suit walk into an apothecary? My life becomes a great deal more complicated, that’s what.
Still, the proposition is interesting and the payout is good. I’m afraid I’m actually considering their mad plans.
-Yusuf
Dear Diary,
So, not only am I working on a task which may very well be impossible with a motley assortment of characters who are, once again, practically their own bar joke setups (what happens when a pompous American, a disreputable Englishman, and a hardworking chemist walk into a warehouse together? Two of them fight like cats and dogs while the longsuffering chemist has to shield his state of the art equipment from them, bodily).
The worst part is that the fighting isn’t the worst part. The head of the team seems to be utterly off his gourd, and I say that as someone who’s seen a lot of dubious gourds in his lifetime. I quit, of course, and he begged me to stay on with some long-winded tracts about family and so forth (if I never have to hear another diatribe about being separated from children again, it’ll be too soon. A tip for any prospective or current parents: if you don’t wish to be kept from your children, avoid MURDERING THEIR MOTHERS).
I know you think I’m foolish for staying on, but the crazed American did offer me a figure that, combined with my own share of the payout and existing savings, may allow me early retirement. If you run the calculations, I’m sure you’ll see that this is no number of sneeze at. So I’m staying on... for now.
-Yusuf
Dear Diary,
The day has finally arrived. I hope that when we meet next, I won’t be writing to you in my own blood or crayons or other such unpleasantness. A mind like mine is far too beautiful to waste!
-Yusuf
Dear Diary,
Still alive and neuronally intact, no thanks to anyone on my team. From here on out I'm putting my foot down: absolutely no more fieldwork. Driving a van filled with unconscious bodies while being shot at and then careening off a bridge--not the sort of dream I care for, thank you very much.
In any case, I haven't been forced to flee any countries, no one's been arrested, and I've received my payment. As soon as I return to Mombasa, I'll be packing up shop and heading for a sunny retirement in Aruba. Hopefully the cat's gone by now.
Sanely, retiredly yours,
-Yusuf
Words: 600
Written for: the insearchtion
Dear Diary,
Found a strange cat on my doorstep today. It followed me into the shop and wouldn’t leave no matter how often I shooed it away. Fairly certain it doesn’t have rabies, but concerned it may have fleas. The customers seem to like it though, and keep leaning down to pet it (either unaware of, or not caring about the possibility of fleas). It does add a certain ambiance to the storefront, but really, I’ve enough things to take care of without adding a pet to the list. Hopefully it gets hungry and leaves soon.
-Yusuf
Dear Diary,
Strange cat left for a while and returned again. Presumably it has some other food and water source, but prefers my shop to whatever other environs it roam. An irritation, but as long as it stays out of the way, I’ve better things to do thab chase a cat around.
I think I hear a customer.
-Y
Dear Diary,
Today, a rather shady acquaintance I made at a cousin’s friend’s high stakes poker game came by the store, dragging along an entire village he’d apparently told about my profession. Does discretion mean nothing anymore?
I tell you, it was like the setup of a bad joke. What happens when an American, an Englishman, and a Japanese man in a ridiculously expensive suit walk into an apothecary? My life becomes a great deal more complicated, that’s what.
Still, the proposition is interesting and the payout is good. I’m afraid I’m actually considering their mad plans.
-Yusuf
Dear Diary,
So, not only am I working on a task which may very well be impossible with a motley assortment of characters who are, once again, practically their own bar joke setups (what happens when a pompous American, a disreputable Englishman, and a hardworking chemist walk into a warehouse together? Two of them fight like cats and dogs while the longsuffering chemist has to shield his state of the art equipment from them, bodily).
The worst part is that the fighting isn’t the worst part. The head of the team seems to be utterly off his gourd, and I say that as someone who’s seen a lot of dubious gourds in his lifetime. I quit, of course, and he begged me to stay on with some long-winded tracts about family and so forth (if I never have to hear another diatribe about being separated from children again, it’ll be too soon. A tip for any prospective or current parents: if you don’t wish to be kept from your children, avoid MURDERING THEIR MOTHERS).
I know you think I’m foolish for staying on, but the crazed American did offer me a figure that, combined with my own share of the payout and existing savings, may allow me early retirement. If you run the calculations, I’m sure you’ll see that this is no number of sneeze at. So I’m staying on... for now.
-Yusuf
Dear Diary,
The day has finally arrived. I hope that when we meet next, I won’t be writing to you in my own blood or crayons or other such unpleasantness. A mind like mine is far too beautiful to waste!
-Yusuf
Dear Diary,
Still alive and neuronally intact, no thanks to anyone on my team. From here on out I'm putting my foot down: absolutely no more fieldwork. Driving a van filled with unconscious bodies while being shot at and then careening off a bridge--not the sort of dream I care for, thank you very much.
In any case, I haven't been forced to flee any countries, no one's been arrested, and I've received my payment. As soon as I return to Mombasa, I'll be packing up shop and heading for a sunny retirement in Aruba. Hopefully the cat's gone by now.
Sanely, retiredly yours,
-Yusuf