Criminal Minds - Fools 2/2 [Gen - Morgan, JJ, Emily, Reid - T]
Title: Fools 2/2
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: T
Summary: Welcome to the BAU prank wars.
Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.
A/N: It's all in good fun. Enjoy!
Part 1 Part 2
Derek Morgan sighed, looking again at the paper in his hands. He was sure he'd read the room number right, but he'd been wandering the corridors of the Bureau's lower levels for almost ten minutes with no sign of it.
Heaving another sigh, he spotted a young, bored-looking woman seated at a nearby desk.
"Excuse me, Miss," he approached her, holding up the handwritten message. "Do you know where office 401B is?"
"Morgan?"
He looked up, surprised to find Prentiss walking down the hallway towards him, confusion evident on her face.
"What are you doing here?" She asked, her expression turning suspicious.
"I got a message from an Agent King saying I needed to come down here. Something about not properly filing my ID-tenT form," Morgan informed her, holding up the offending message again.
"I got the same message from an Agent Darrell Moore," Emily replied, glancing at the woman at the desk.
Morgan folded his arms. "Is this what I think it is?"
"Probably," Emily agreed, looking at the message in her hand again. She let out a disbelieving scoff. "ID-tenT. I can't believe I didn't see that before."
Derek frowned. "What, what is it?"
She held out the handwritten message, pointing at the form name. "ID-10T spells 'idiot'. She got us with a fake form."
Morgan shook his head incredulously.
"Are you agents Prentiss and Morgan?" the woman at the desk interrupted. Morgan had forgotten she was even there.
"Yes," Emily sighed, defeated, as she ran a hand through her hair.
"I'm supposed to give you this," the woman at the desk replied, handing Emily a piece of paper.
"What's it say?" Morgan asked, leaning over her shoulder.
Prentiss rolled her eyes, reading the neat scrawl that marked the page. "'Hope you both enjoyed your excursion. Feel free to surrender at any time. P.S. - I think I'll have a gin and tonic to start. Signed, Agents 'Joe King' and 'Darrell B. Moore' - Jeez, JJ's really into this stuff, isn't she?"
"You didn't know?" Morgan raised his eyebrows. He smirked. "Oh, we gotta get her back for this."
Emily looked up at him in surprise. "What happened to all that talk about 'one-on-one' and 'no team-ups allowed'?"
Morgan shook his head. "That was before JJ started kicking our butts. Desperate times call for desperate measures." He raised his eyebrows, nodding to the paper in her hands. "Come on, you really want to lose to JJ?"
Prentiss thought it over, looking at the prank names JJ had left for them. She smirked, meeting his gaze. "What did you have in mind?"
- ~ April Fools ~ -
"You sure this'll work?" Prentiss asked, checking her watch.
"Trust me," Derek assured her, folding his arms as he leaned back against his desk. "JJ never goes anywhere without her 4 o'clock cup of coffee. Same time every day."
"It's not too mean, is it?" Emily worried, glimpsing at her current partner-in-crime.
Morgan gave her a sidelong glance. "Relax. It's not like it's permanent - it's just enough of a hassle to put us in the lead, and put JJ back in her place."
Right on-cue, JJ entered the bullpen, making a beeline for the kitchenette.
"It's show time," Morgan chuckled.
"Agent Jareau! Do you have a minute?"
The communications director paused, turning to talk to the middle-aged agent who'd called her.
"...But organized killers are more inclined to take totems from their victims, meaning that they're likely dealing with someone who plans his crimes in advance," they heard Reid commenting as he made his way into the bullpen alongside Hotch, who was listening intently.
"Maybe," the unit chief conceded, "But I'm not entirely convinced that the weapon was brought with him to the crime. It's far more likely he's relying on objects available at the scene."
Morgan and Prentiss watched, horrified, as the pair headed straight for the coffee machine.
"Uh oh."
Reid frowned, seeing that the pot was empty. He raised a hand to the cupboard above the sink, in search of a fresh filter.
"Wait- Reid--!"
The pair of pranksters surged forward, trying and failing to catch the genius' attention. They grimaced as the cupboard opened, raining a small tidal wave of glitter down upon the unsuspecting young agent.
Reid sputtered in surprise, jumping back and shaking a cloud of sparkles onto the floor. The entire front of him was covered in twinkling bits of glitter, his hair a shimmer of silver flecks. He stared down at himself, aghast, as many of the agents in the bullpen turned to watch, JJ disregarding her conversation with her fellow agent to see what all the commotion was about.
"Reid, I am so sorry," Emily began, moving forward to offer him a paper towel. "That wasn't meant to happen."
"Me too," added Derek, watching as Reid tried to shake the glitter from his hair like a dog, succeeding only in further showering his shirt with the sparkly substance.
Hotch eyed the trio of jokesters, placing his fingers on the bridge of his nose as if to ward off an on-coming headache.
"Reid, you should have another shirt in your ready bag that you can change into," he placated.
Reid nodded distractedly, still wiping at the ever-present sparkles in futility, sparing the trio one final glance before heading off in search of a change of clothes. Morgan and Prentiss watched him guiltily, all three agents frozen in space as they awaited Hotch's next words.
Agent Hotchner turned his attention back to the pranksters, his mouth a thin, tight line.
"As much as I appreciate the need for the team to let off steam, I think this competition has run its course. It's time you called it a 'tie' and returned to your work," Hotch advised them, his tone serious. "I expect this mess to be cleaned up as soon as possible."
"Yes, sir," Prentiss replied immediately, the others nodding their agreement.
Hotch held their expressions a moment longer, before turning in the direction of his office, leaving the three of them to figure out how best to get glitter off of a carpet floor.
- ~ April Fools ~ -
The remainder of the day had passed in quiet busywork, the three pranksters doing their best to avoid Hotch while each offering an additional apology to Reid for his unintended involvement in their war. By the time seven o'clock rolled around, they'd decided to head out for drinks after all, each of them splitting the rounds evenly as a condition of their truce.
JJ pressed the button for the elevator, pulling her coat over her shoulders.
"You guys were really going to try and cover me in glitter?"
Prentiss snorted - it seemed pretty childish now - offering her an apologetic smile. "We had to come up with some way of getting you back for the wild goose chase you sent us on."
"Yeah," Morgan agreed with a laugh. "Not to mention the sacrilege you committed on my reputation. I can't believe you signed me up for that dating site - I've never gotten so many crazy emails in one day."
"Don't worry," JJ assured him, "I had Garcia wipe the ad from the site's web history, and remove your email and photo. She said to let her know if any of the, uh, 'dating hussies' get pushy."
The elevator dinged, the doors sliding open for the three agents to enter.
Emily followed the others in, turning back to face the closing door. "I'm glad Reid was such a good sport about it all. I thought he'd be really upset."
JJ nodded. "We should make it up to him. Ask him along."
"Yeah, you're right," Morgan agreed. "I don't think he's left yet. I'll give him a call and tell him to meet us in the parking lot."
He pulled out his cell phone, pausing when it began buzzing of its own accord, informing him it had received a text. Curious, he flipped it open, reading the message on the screen.
'I win.'
Morgan frowned, confused. "What the--?"
All of a sudden, the elevator shuddered to a stop, the three agents tossed about slightly as the lights in the small compartment flickered off.
"Guys?" JJ's voice sounded out from the dark. "...What just happened?"
- ~ April Fools ~ -
Outside of the elevator, Reid put his cell phone away with a smirk. He looked up, watching as the light above the elevator began flashing, before promptly going out. It'd take about thirty minutes for the maintenance crew to figure out there was something wrong. He reminded himself to thank Garcia for her help later.
He turned and headed for the stairs, shoving his hands in the pockets of his slacks as he walked, a trail of glitter marking his steps.
Fin.
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Rating: T
Summary: Welcome to the BAU prank wars.
Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.
A/N: It's all in good fun. Enjoy!
Part 1 Part 2
Derek Morgan sighed, looking again at the paper in his hands. He was sure he'd read the room number right, but he'd been wandering the corridors of the Bureau's lower levels for almost ten minutes with no sign of it.
Heaving another sigh, he spotted a young, bored-looking woman seated at a nearby desk.
"Excuse me, Miss," he approached her, holding up the handwritten message. "Do you know where office 401B is?"
"Morgan?"
He looked up, surprised to find Prentiss walking down the hallway towards him, confusion evident on her face.
"What are you doing here?" She asked, her expression turning suspicious.
"I got a message from an Agent King saying I needed to come down here. Something about not properly filing my ID-tenT form," Morgan informed her, holding up the offending message again.
"I got the same message from an Agent Darrell Moore," Emily replied, glancing at the woman at the desk.
Morgan folded his arms. "Is this what I think it is?"
"Probably," Emily agreed, looking at the message in her hand again. She let out a disbelieving scoff. "ID-tenT. I can't believe I didn't see that before."
Derek frowned. "What, what is it?"
She held out the handwritten message, pointing at the form name. "ID-10T spells 'idiot'. She got us with a fake form."
Morgan shook his head incredulously.
"Are you agents Prentiss and Morgan?" the woman at the desk interrupted. Morgan had forgotten she was even there.
"Yes," Emily sighed, defeated, as she ran a hand through her hair.
"I'm supposed to give you this," the woman at the desk replied, handing Emily a piece of paper.
"What's it say?" Morgan asked, leaning over her shoulder.
Prentiss rolled her eyes, reading the neat scrawl that marked the page. "'Hope you both enjoyed your excursion. Feel free to surrender at any time. P.S. - I think I'll have a gin and tonic to start. Signed, Agents 'Joe King' and 'Darrell B. Moore' - Jeez, JJ's really into this stuff, isn't she?"
"You didn't know?" Morgan raised his eyebrows. He smirked. "Oh, we gotta get her back for this."
Emily looked up at him in surprise. "What happened to all that talk about 'one-on-one' and 'no team-ups allowed'?"
Morgan shook his head. "That was before JJ started kicking our butts. Desperate times call for desperate measures." He raised his eyebrows, nodding to the paper in her hands. "Come on, you really want to lose to JJ?"
Prentiss thought it over, looking at the prank names JJ had left for them. She smirked, meeting his gaze. "What did you have in mind?"
- ~ April Fools ~ -
"You sure this'll work?" Prentiss asked, checking her watch.
"Trust me," Derek assured her, folding his arms as he leaned back against his desk. "JJ never goes anywhere without her 4 o'clock cup of coffee. Same time every day."
"It's not too mean, is it?" Emily worried, glimpsing at her current partner-in-crime.
Morgan gave her a sidelong glance. "Relax. It's not like it's permanent - it's just enough of a hassle to put us in the lead, and put JJ back in her place."
Right on-cue, JJ entered the bullpen, making a beeline for the kitchenette.
"It's show time," Morgan chuckled.
"Agent Jareau! Do you have a minute?"
The communications director paused, turning to talk to the middle-aged agent who'd called her.
"...But organized killers are more inclined to take totems from their victims, meaning that they're likely dealing with someone who plans his crimes in advance," they heard Reid commenting as he made his way into the bullpen alongside Hotch, who was listening intently.
"Maybe," the unit chief conceded, "But I'm not entirely convinced that the weapon was brought with him to the crime. It's far more likely he's relying on objects available at the scene."
Morgan and Prentiss watched, horrified, as the pair headed straight for the coffee machine.
"Uh oh."
Reid frowned, seeing that the pot was empty. He raised a hand to the cupboard above the sink, in search of a fresh filter.
"Wait- Reid--!"
The pair of pranksters surged forward, trying and failing to catch the genius' attention. They grimaced as the cupboard opened, raining a small tidal wave of glitter down upon the unsuspecting young agent.
Reid sputtered in surprise, jumping back and shaking a cloud of sparkles onto the floor. The entire front of him was covered in twinkling bits of glitter, his hair a shimmer of silver flecks. He stared down at himself, aghast, as many of the agents in the bullpen turned to watch, JJ disregarding her conversation with her fellow agent to see what all the commotion was about.
"Reid, I am so sorry," Emily began, moving forward to offer him a paper towel. "That wasn't meant to happen."
"Me too," added Derek, watching as Reid tried to shake the glitter from his hair like a dog, succeeding only in further showering his shirt with the sparkly substance.
Hotch eyed the trio of jokesters, placing his fingers on the bridge of his nose as if to ward off an on-coming headache.
"Reid, you should have another shirt in your ready bag that you can change into," he placated.
Reid nodded distractedly, still wiping at the ever-present sparkles in futility, sparing the trio one final glance before heading off in search of a change of clothes. Morgan and Prentiss watched him guiltily, all three agents frozen in space as they awaited Hotch's next words.
Agent Hotchner turned his attention back to the pranksters, his mouth a thin, tight line.
"As much as I appreciate the need for the team to let off steam, I think this competition has run its course. It's time you called it a 'tie' and returned to your work," Hotch advised them, his tone serious. "I expect this mess to be cleaned up as soon as possible."
"Yes, sir," Prentiss replied immediately, the others nodding their agreement.
Hotch held their expressions a moment longer, before turning in the direction of his office, leaving the three of them to figure out how best to get glitter off of a carpet floor.
- ~ April Fools ~ -
The remainder of the day had passed in quiet busywork, the three pranksters doing their best to avoid Hotch while each offering an additional apology to Reid for his unintended involvement in their war. By the time seven o'clock rolled around, they'd decided to head out for drinks after all, each of them splitting the rounds evenly as a condition of their truce.
JJ pressed the button for the elevator, pulling her coat over her shoulders.
"You guys were really going to try and cover me in glitter?"
Prentiss snorted - it seemed pretty childish now - offering her an apologetic smile. "We had to come up with some way of getting you back for the wild goose chase you sent us on."
"Yeah," Morgan agreed with a laugh. "Not to mention the sacrilege you committed on my reputation. I can't believe you signed me up for that dating site - I've never gotten so many crazy emails in one day."
"Don't worry," JJ assured him, "I had Garcia wipe the ad from the site's web history, and remove your email and photo. She said to let her know if any of the, uh, 'dating hussies' get pushy."
The elevator dinged, the doors sliding open for the three agents to enter.
Emily followed the others in, turning back to face the closing door. "I'm glad Reid was such a good sport about it all. I thought he'd be really upset."
JJ nodded. "We should make it up to him. Ask him along."
"Yeah, you're right," Morgan agreed. "I don't think he's left yet. I'll give him a call and tell him to meet us in the parking lot."
He pulled out his cell phone, pausing when it began buzzing of its own accord, informing him it had received a text. Curious, he flipped it open, reading the message on the screen.
'I win.'
Morgan frowned, confused. "What the--?"
All of a sudden, the elevator shuddered to a stop, the three agents tossed about slightly as the lights in the small compartment flickered off.
"Guys?" JJ's voice sounded out from the dark. "...What just happened?"
- ~ April Fools ~ -
Outside of the elevator, Reid put his cell phone away with a smirk. He looked up, watching as the light above the elevator began flashing, before promptly going out. It'd take about thirty minutes for the maintenance crew to figure out there was something wrong. He reminded himself to thank Garcia for her help later.
He turned and headed for the stairs, shoving his hands in the pockets of his slacks as he walked, a trail of glitter marking his steps.
Fin.