Postponing the Inevitable
Title: Postponing the Inevitable
Rating: R (sexual reference, implied slash)
Word Count: 914
Pairing: Kate Kane/Renee Montoya
Comments: Anything is appreciated!
Spoilers: Gotham Central
Disclaimers: I wasn't cool enough to actually create these characters; they belong to DC. Also, it's been forever since I posted to LJ, and everything has changed, so if it shows up wonky, I'll try to fix it! Posted in my journal as well.
Summary: Takes place right after Kate and Renee meet in 52, for the first time in years. This provides some much-needed Kate POV.
Her apartment was eerily quiet compared to the busy hustle of her parents’ place. Hundreds of partygoers, dozens of servants, members of the press-all of it had been a little too much to bear after that run-in. Kate had made up an excuse to her stepmother and left early. She suspected that Cathy didn’t mind at all, as she feigned concern and told her to drive safe, all in the same breath. She lives in constant fear that I’ll somehow embarrass her, Kate thought wryly.
But her stepmother wasn’t what was making her shake right now. She stood at a window of her penthouse gazing out over the city, looking for nothing in particular. She didn’t want these feelings. They came anyway. She didn’t want the tears. They came anyway. She just shows up, out of the blue, no warning, no phone call, she stopped herself from continuing the thought. She knew exactly why Renee showed up unannounced. She needed the element of surprise on her side. Renee must have assumed Kate try to would avoid her if she’d had warning.
Kate tried to tell herself that’s exactly what she would have done-if she’d known Renee was trying to reach her, she would have run away. She knew it wasn’t true. As much as it had hurt to see her tonight, Kate was a sucker for that kind of pain. She tried to tell herself that the reason she wanted to see Renee was because she’d never gotten closure on what they’d had. But she knew now that closure wasn’t what she wanted at all.
The Renee she’d been following through the news and her contacts at the GCPD was not the Renee that she’d dated close to a decade ago. She’d become dark, hardened. And the Renee that she’d met tonight was even scarier. Kate knew everything she’d been through since their split-her promotion to detective, her very public outing, the murder accusation, the scary run-in with Two-Face, the death of her partner. Each time she’d wanted to call, but she knew about Daria too, and she didn’t want to intrude or cause more problems for Renee.
It was no wonder, all things considered, that her ex was in such a dark place right now. But for all that Kate missed her, she couldn’t bring herself to worry about her anymore. She’d had quite enough of that. And of course she was going to help her get the information she needed, because it meant they’d get to meet again. Kate was a sucker for that kind of pain. Still, her pride would not allow her to ask for more.
She undressed as she crossed the apartment toward her bedroom. She left the red dress in a heap on the floor, muttering a curse as she discarded it. Ball gowns were not her thing. She flopped onto her bed and laid still for a second. Renee still featured prominently in the forefront of her mind. If she closed her eyes, the image resonated clearly on the backs of her eyelids. For once, she allowed the images to play. If she concentrated, she could recognize the old Renee beneath the exterior of the worn woman that had stood in front of her two hours earlier. If she concentrated, she could see the same brooding eyes underneath the new wrinkles that surrounded them. She could see the same hands that comforted her underneath the dirt and scars that now covered them. And under that jacket, she could-
That’s dangerous ground, Kate warned herself. But she couldn’t stop it. Her thoughts took off on their own journey. She thought about the last morning they were together. How Renee held her, touched her. The lustful way she looked at her, every time they were together.
Kate sighed and reached down to the bottom drawer on her nightstand. It was a drawer that Renee had never been in when they were together. She didn’t have to dig far to find what she was looking for. Renee’s ego hadn’t really allowed for toys in their relationship. Kate, flying solo these days, had no such qualms.
As she flipped it to it’s “on” position, and, letting her legs fall apart as she re-settled on the bed, she tried to think of reasons this small piece of plastic was better than having a girlfriend. Certainly less drama, that was for sure. No one questioning her late nights; no one inquiring about unexplained bruises and scars.
Another part of her, another small voice, wanted to list the disadvantages as well. This toy couldn’t provide the warmth of another body, and it couldn’t whisper lovely Spanish colloquialisms in her ear. It never bought her flowers.
She pushed those thoughts from her head. As she hovered on the precipice for longer than she would have liked, she thought of another benefit-the toy was tireless, and would be there until she found the edge to fall over. Not that she’d ever had that trouble with Renee. As she shifted on the bed, finally finding the pressure she needed to make her thighs convulse and her breath catch in her chest, she became painfully aware of the little toy’s biggest flaw. It didn’t have fingers to run through her hair as she recovered, it didn’t have lips to claim with a kiss once she caught her breath, and it didn’t have arms to hold her as she drifted peacefully, finally, off to sleep.