Wednesday Meeting [completed RP with neo_beethoven]

[basement_rerun]

Co-written with Schroeder-mun


Schroeder sat at a table inside Ernie's Sandwich Shop, one ear bud of his iPod dangling at his side, halfway listening to music while the other part of him listened and watched for any sign of Rerun. He had arrived three minutes before they were scheduled to meet, not too early but early enough to hold a table for he and his friend in the tiny restaurant. He nervously tapped his hands on his knees in time with the music, keeping busy so that his nerves wouldn't overtake him. Schroeder hated the past few days. He hated feeling so lost and confused. Being alone was one thing but when it was your best friend who you seemed to lose, the same moments alone seemed much more magnified.

Rerun arrived at Ernie's just as it turned twelve, pushing the door open and looking around for his friend. He spotted Schroeder over in the corner of the restaurant and weaved his way through the tables and other patrons. The last few days had been difficult to say the least. Rerun had done some serious thinking, and he'd finally made up his mind. Now all that was left was to talk to Schroeder. He slid into the chair across from his friend with a small smile. "Hey, Schro. How are you?"

Pulling out the tiny speaker from his ear, Schroeder wrapped the earbud cord around his iPod and shoved it into his pants pocket when he noticed Rerun enter. Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, he lifted a hand in greeting when his friend sat in front of him. "I've been better," Schroeder answered honestly. "Remember when we used to come to this place almost every week? I went ahead and ordered your usual so we wouldn't have to wait any longer than is necessary." He attempted a smile, hoping that what small talk he managed had helped start the conversation, not wanting to have too many long drags of awkward silence as he knew would probably happen later.

Rerun looked down at the table when Schroeder answered his question, knowing he was mostly to blame for his friend not being his best.  He looked up again when his friend kept talking, smiling a little more back. "Thanks, Schro. Yeah... It's gotten a lot busier, hasn't it?" He looked around them, more people filling the little restaurant than he'd ever seen, and still more people trying to push themselves in. Turning back to Schroeder, Rerun took a page out of his friend's book and cut right to the chase. "So. The serious stuff." His leg started bouncing, his nerves growing.

Rerun's declaration caught Schroeder off guard. He was used to his friend stalling when he didn't want to talk about a problem. When he heard the word serious, Schroeder knew that they had to talk. He leaned forward, hooking his thumbs against the edge of the table to prevent himself from drumming. "I suppose I should begin by apologizing. I haven't once told you yet that I'm sorry. I am never going to apologize for feeling upset when I maintain that it was more than justified. However I do realize that I was probably too harsh with you. For that I really am sorry, and I hope you can forgive me."

Rerun sighed and shook his head, sliding down in his chair slightly. It wasn't that he really wanted to get into this, but he knew it had to be talked about and there was no sense in trying to put it off. "You don't have to apologize, Schro. I mean, I forgive you, but I don't feel like you're the one who needs to be saying sorry, I am. I know I've said it a lot, but I don't feel like it's been enough. I am very sorry for hurting you, Schroeder. I understand if you don't trust me the same way you did before, but I really hope that you will again some day..." He looked down at the table again, his leg bouncing again*

Taking a breath, Schroeder looked down at his thumbs, causing the first prolonged silence by staring at his nails, pretending to be interested at the way they whitened when he pressed down on the table. He swallowed, remembering in vivid detail how he had sat in front of his friend- exposed, naked, and rejected. As much as Rerun tried to say otherwise after the fact, Schroeder had never stopped feeling like a freak, seeing the word flash in front of him when he closed his eyes. "I want to trust you," he finally managed to say. "But I would be lying if I said I had put it behind me."

Rerun glanced back at his friend, then looked down at Schroeder's hands, too. He knew that he had screwed things up with their friendship, and he hated that. It was one of the worst feelings in the world, knowing you hurt your best friend. "I know... I don't think either of us can ever put it behind us entirely..." He tapped his fingers against his bouncing leg. "No matter what happens after this, what happened will always be there..."

Now it was Schroeder's turn to be direct. While it was in his nature, he had refrained from speaking in his usual brusque manner as of late to avoid worsening the situation. He looked up from his hands, staring directly at Rerun's downturned face. "Do you regret it? Not what happened afterward, but that night."

Rerun sighed again, looking down at the table in front of him before lifting his head back up to look straight back at his friend. He'd spent the last few days going over that night in his head, trying to pick apart how he felt about it. He took a deep breath and then answered Schroeder. "Sort of." He rushed on before Schroeder could say anything, his eyes dropping immediately, not wanting to see if any hurt appeared on his friend's face. "I mean, I regret that I freaked out on you, I regret that that hurt you. I regret how I reacted, I should have tried to be more calm and rational, but that's always been Linus' area of expertise, not mine. I regret..." He trailed off, not knowing exactly where he was going with this any more. He was just listing off things that he regretted that were in response to that night, and not answering Schroeder's question. "I... When I drink, I become more honest, you've gotta know that, right?" He chanced a glance up at his friend again before his eyes darted back down to the table. "So obviously there was something... I mean, I must have had some... There were obviously..." Rerun lets out a frustrated sigh and runs a hand through his hair, hating himself for not being able to finish a sentence. "What I'm trying to say is... how I acted couldn't have come from nowhere." He looked back up at his friend, his expression somewhere between hopeful, confused, and questioning. "Am I making any sense?"

As soon as he heard "sort of", Schroeder's face fell.  As he heard Rerun talk on and on without answering his question he brought his hands up from the table to fold under his chin while his elbows rested on the hard surface. His lips moved from a frown to a thin line. He wanted to give Rerun the benefit of the doubt, but this only seemed like more excuses. He'd had enough of excuses. "No," he answered bluntly. "You're telling me that I should know, and that maybe the alcohol made you do it but maybe it was you too. You aren't giving me a straight answer at all. I wanted yes or no, not a speech."

Rerun let out a long sigh. "I..." He took another deep breath, staring down at the table. "I regret what happened after..." He looked back up at Schroeder. "I'm botching this all up." With a groan, he leaned back in his chair and brought his hands to his face. "I know what I want to say, but I can't quite get it out right..."

Their waitress then came with their respective plates, handing Schroeder a BLT and Rerun a peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich, also placing two glasses of water in front of them. After she left, Schroeder felt his stomach churn, not wanting the sandwich at the moment. He took a sip of his water to try to calm himself. "I can wait."

Rerun stared at his food when it was placed in front of him, also not interested in eating anything at the moment. He chewed the inside of his lip as he tried to think of the words he wanted to say. Sighing again, he shifted his gaze to Schroeder, staring at his friend for a long time before speaking. "What are you doing Saturday?"

Still no answer. Schroeder furrowed his brows and leaned back against his chair, further away from Rerun. "That depends. Will I ever get an answer?"

Rerun folded his hands on the table, tempted to prop his chair onto its back legs but resisting. "That is my answer, Schro. Do you want to do something together on Saturday?"

"Unless I'm mistaken, it doesn't sound very much like a yes or no." Schroeder jabbed a finger at his sandwich, poking at the crust. "I do, yes."

"It's not a yes or no, but... it's still an answer." Rerun let out a breath, relieved. He tapped his thumbs together, staring down at them. "Maybe dinner or something? Maybe we could watch a movie after...?" He kept his eyes firmly on his hands.

Tilting his head to the side, Schroeder regarded his friend. This dancing around the subject was absolutely infuriating, but he didn't want to lose his friend, and he had already come dangerously close. "Promise me you will at least give me a yes or no by Saturday."

Rerun sighed. Unfolding his hands, he brought one up to rub the back of his neck. He looked up at Schroeder, hand still holding his neck. "No."

Confused and stung by the quick answer, Schroeder, scowled, ready to make a scene if Rerun didn't explain himself. This was ridiculous. "What do you mean, 'no'?"

Rerun closed his eyes, belatedly realizing how his answer might have come out sounding wrong. Keeping them closed, he took another deep breath before answering. "The answer to your question. It's no."

Schroeder felt his emotions do a 180. He wasn't expecting that at all and he drops his hands, looking at them again, ashamed of the things he was getting ready to say to his friend. "Thank you for answering... I needed to hear something one way or the other."

Peeking an eye open, Rerun watched his friend. This week had really been tough on the both of them, and he couldn't help feeling like it was mostly his fault. "You're welcome." He scratched the back of his head, looking down at the table again. "So, Saturday...?"

Going back to his sandwich as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, Schroeder lifted his food up to his mouth and took a bite, his usual disinterested and slightly vain air returning to normal. "So what film are we watching?"

He shook his head at his friend's abrupt change of attitude, looking down at his sandwich. Rerun shrugged one shoulder. "I dunno, I was thinking something stupid that we could just laugh at and make fun of. But I hadn't made any concrete decisions."

It was always much easier for Schroeder to feign apathy than to become emotional when it bordered on feelings other than anger, so he continued eating his sandwich, deciding to leave any other questions he had until Saturday. "I think we should watch one of those spoof films. They try so hard, and usually fall miserably flat. That alone is funny."

Rerun smiled a little, picking up his sandwich and taking a bite, chewing it and swallowing before answering. He was feeling a little better than when he'd come in, and much more comfortable. "What, like 'Not Another Teen Movie' or one of the 'Scary Movies'? Oh, or we could watch one of those really crappy horror movies."

"I was thinking of the first, but if you would rather do the latter I could always change my mind." Schroeder dropped his sandwich and took a sip of water. "I enjoy the fake Ricky Fitts."

Rerun grinned, placing his sandwich down and likewise taking a drink, though he had more than a sip. Peanut butter is very dry, after all. "It's a fairly decent movie for what it is. Probably one of the better spoof movies, but it was made before the craze hit." He shook his head. "No, we can watch that, it's fine. It's just the kind of movie I was thinking of."

Schroeder rolled his eyes. "Please. You can't possibly be expecting to hold those movies up to a high standard." He set his drink back down, noticing that Rerun picked his up the last time Schroeder did too and wondering if he will earn another mirror movement.

Rerun smiled, he couldn't help it. Schroeder was a snob when it came to anything he talked about. "I don't hold them up to a high standard, but you have to admit that some are better than others." He took another sip instead of putting his down at the same time as Schroeder, placing it down instead when he spoke next. "Like any Mel Brooks movie. Most of those are spoofs, but they're good."

Waving a hand vaguely as if at the movies themselves, Schroeder scoffed. "Scary Movie is not Mel Brooks. Don't begin to compare the two. That is like comparing you to Big Bird."

Rerun raised an eyebrow, smiling slightly. "I wasn't comparing Scary Movie and Mel Brooks. I know they're not the same." His other eyebrow joined it's fellow halfway up his forehead. "Big Bird?"

Schroeder scowled. "Don't make fun. I was trying to illustrate a drastic difference."

Rerun smiled. "I'm not making fun. I'm just hoping I was the Mel Brooks equivalent, and not Scary Movie."

"You're neither. If you were a comedy I think you would be Tropic Thunder."

"And that'd be a good thing, right? Sorry I have to ask, I'm not really entirely sure how your mind works sometimes."

Schroeder lifted his hands, making an L shape with both and framing Rerun's face. "You have a varying degree of Robert Downey Jr. about you. And because I can't pinpoint which, you get Tropic Thunder."

Rerun gave his friend a lopsided smile, raising an eyebrow again. "Really? Well, I won't really complain. Downey seems like a pretty cool guy, and I did think Tropic Thunder was funny."

Lifting his sandwich again before taking a bite, Schroeder commented carelessly, "He's hot too."

Rerun gave a short, surprised laugh. "Does that mean I'm hot, too?"

"Yes."

He gave Schroeder a lopsided smile before taking a bite of his sandwich. "Thanks."

Keeping what was left of the sandwich in one hand, Schroeder frowned. "You aren't upset by that?"

Rerun shrugged a little. "Not really. Why?"

"Two days ago it would have upset you."

"Two days ago I was acting like an asshole. Besides, you're giving me a compliment, why would I be upset?" He grinned.

"No reason."