Let's Talk Fetishes!

Aug 17, 2015 13:57

This came up on another blog and I'm curious as to which have the biggest squick factor.

Poll Fetish

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chess August 17 2015, 12:25:02 UTC
Many of these are kind of unpleasant but ambien sex really freaks me out - it's like 'all the fun of date rape plus the existential terror of losing bits of your memory'. But possibly it's just me having the thing about memory (I also find that variety of anesthetic that apparently just stops you forming memories to be the most incredibly terrifying thing ever).

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bart_calendar August 18 2015, 03:10:18 UTC
Yeah. I mean you can't speak or move (which is the point) so there is no way possible for your partner to have any clue if things go wrong.

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bart_calendar August 17 2015, 13:03:28 UTC
The one reasonable objection I've heard about ambien sex is that you lose the ability to move or communicate - so if once it started you decided you didn't want ambien sex you'd have no way to communicate that to your partner.

That said, of the course of dozens of threads I've read about Ambien sex I've never seen a single person saying this has happened to them. I've only seen the squicked out people say it could happen.

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gonzo21 August 17 2015, 13:22:14 UTC
Right, so you'd have to really really trust your partner. Just as in breath play. Or even some of the more extreme forms of bondage.

Well, just as I defend the right of individuals to partake in ambien play, I also defend the right of people to be squicked out about it. (Just so long as they don't start saying to the pro-ambien people that they can't do that because it's bad and wrong.)

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bart_calendar August 17 2015, 13:24:26 UTC
Same here.

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resonant August 18 2015, 02:48:15 UTC
The consent bit makes me nervous. But that's a bit hypocritical - I've explicitly told two partners that I'm OK with them initiating things when I'm still asleep if they're in the moon.

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bart_calendar August 18 2015, 03:00:41 UTC
Yeah. It's a weird issue. I've never been with someone who is into Ambien sex but have three female friends who are into i t who say the orgasms are amazing. So in that sense I'm in favor of it. But I can see the point of view of people who say that something that completely takes away the ability to withdraw consent is problematic. So both sides of the controversy seem to have roughly equal merit.

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gonzo21 August 18 2015, 13:06:04 UTC
I've always thought there is an implied level of trust with people one chooses to share a bed with, so if consent i given for initiating things while asleep, they they are trusted enough that should one awaken and the attentions are unwelcome at that time, then they will happily listen and oblige a request to stop.

Likewise with this Ambien thing, if two people choose to try that out, then I'd trust their judgement.

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