well i guess i'm crazy too. had dinner with a rich milf friend from nj the other night and the bill came to 200 bucks! i was furious- and she brushed it off like oh its the "city" blah blah and i'm like yea- i fucking LIVE here pay rent here and have to make ends meet...and cant afford this kind of dough on slop food! i was pretty bitchy about it- and felt it necessary to apologize the next day. but whatever.
I have that same reaction of parking tickets. I've gotten three of them in my life, the most expensive one being $45. And it wasn't even during a time when I really couldn't afford it. And for some reason I was filled with rage and self-loathing epic enough to rival the Iliad. I am aware that this is retarded and useless. But EVERY DAMN TIME!
I guess in the end you've just got to accept that you have one or two insanity protocols that your brain will dig up in certain situations.
That's not about being crazy; it's about being a freelancer. That amount of money is trivial if, say, your clients all pay up on time and you get three more in this coming week. It's not if everyone bails on you (I just had someone go out of business owing me $500, and there's a magazine that owes me about half that which I've just found out from the grapevine hasn't paid anyone in three months) and you don't get new work. Since you have no way of knowing this when you're out and about, you can't really give yourself to having fun in the moment, and every penny which leaves your hand hurts. I kind of solve that by trying to live in the moment and exercising some self-restraint, but if a friend were leaving town, I'd say that the financial investment pales next to the emotional investment in making sure you were there and she knows you love her. So there.
You know, that's a great response and made me feel better.
Sorry I'm responding late. I felt so embarrassed about this post when I woke up Sunday that it took me until tonight (Monday) to look at the responses because I was afraid people would be telling me to fuck off.
I understand, I understand, I understand. My last fight with my husband was because he mentioned during a lunchtime conversation that he had to step out to get a sandwich and I started screaming, "YOU CAN'T DO THAT! WE HAVE TO PAY RENT!" As if we were going to be homeless because of a six-dollar sub.
I want to cut my own head off just to get some fucking peace sometimes.
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well i guess i'm crazy too. had dinner with a rich milf friend from nj the other night and the bill came to 200 bucks! i was furious- and she brushed it off like oh its the "city" blah blah and i'm like yea- i fucking LIVE here pay rent here and have to make ends meet...and cant afford this kind of dough on slop food! i was pretty bitchy about it- and felt it necessary to apologize the next day. but whatever.
crazy sexy cool :)
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I guess in the end you've just got to accept that you have one or two insanity protocols that your brain will dig up in certain situations.
Or you know, hook to make up the extra $9.
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Sorry I'm responding late. I felt so embarrassed about this post when I woke up Sunday that it took me until tonight (Monday) to look at the responses because I was afraid people would be telling me to fuck off.
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I want to cut my own head off just to get some fucking peace sometimes.
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