Comments | barmaidblog: The Fog Is Like a Cage Without a Key (Part III)

barmaidblog

The Fog Is Like a Cage Without a Key (Part III)

Jan 13, 2010 14:31

July 2, 2009
"You were texting him while you were lying in my arms?! You already know how I feel about you texting this guy to begin with, and the fact that you lied about texting him, that you hide it when you're texting him, now you're doing it in my arms?" Jenny is loud, and other people around us on the grass in Union Square turn to look ( Read more... )

catering boy, depression, jenny, dara, union square

Comments 64

anonymous January 13 2010, 19:44:00 UTC

I've been there, and I handled it the same way that you did, it blew up in my face from every angle. It sucks but hopefully you're clear of the war zone now.

thewebmistress January 13 2010, 19:51:17 UTC

odd, even reading it from your perspective, I can only see her side of it. Sorry.

canodiva1 January 13 2010, 19:55:45 UTC

I'll be honest - I don't think it's at all fair to expect an apology from Jenny. Yes, being with someone that's ill is very, very difficult. And yes, you do need to make certain your needs are being met, and maybe she wasn't meeting them at that time. But you can't expect her to always meet all of your needs, that's just not realistic. When you do have friendships with other people to meet other social needs, it's your responsibility to maintain the boundaries of those relationships. You didn't. Regardless of the illness, that's not on her.

sucia01 January 13 2010, 21:25:12 UTC

Agree with this. I get where you came from. But ultimately you lied and in your own words " lying is 100% detrimental". Sucks but these are the mistakes that make us better for the next person who comes along.

mamunia January 13 2010, 23:32:22 UTC

canodival, you hit the nail right on the head with that succinct paragraph. i can certainly empathize with the situation, though.

shootingshark January 13 2010, 20:08:28 UTC

i'm not saying you were completely in the right, but as someone who is basically right in the middle of this right now with a clinically depressed person... well, lets just say i sure cant fault you for it. lord knows i did the same thing, my SO just didnt find out. yet.

nicoled0485 January 13 2010, 20:27:23 UTC

I don't think we can put the blame on anybody. It sounds like a situation where everybody loses and there's no clear solution. I'm so sorry things are so crazy for you, but glad to see you writing again. I hope writing about it somehow helps you through all this, and you come out happy on the other side.

lizardwan January 13 2010, 20:30:50 UTC

I've read your blog for a while now, but never commented. I wanted to come out of lurking to tell you that I understand where you were coming from. This is coming from someone who was the Jenny in the relationship. Years ago I was in a relationship with someone and was very clinically depressed. My S.O. eventually ended up cheating on me and leaving me for someone else--very suddenly and heartbreakingly ( ... )