I suspect that the Demon's vision was true, but when it comes to KTMB, I've found it best to keep my options (and my mind!) open. Just in case. Since we all know that we can add "sneaky" and "devious" to the standard adjective "magnificent."
And I have some defensible confidence that whatever the nature of the secrets Mary was keeping, she kept them out of love and protection. What I would point to as support is simply that, no matter what John discovered about her in his hunt, he never stopped loving her, grieving her, and wanting her back. Whatever happened involving Mary, John clearly didn't feel betrayed or wronged by it even though it cost the Winchester family all semblance of normality and meant that Sam would be challenged to his very soul. To me, that says that John didn't blame her for whatever role she played; to him, she was still the woman he loved.
A couple of your points got me thinking (never a good thing):
About Sam's secret about being fed demon blood as a baby, you wrote: Since he’s afraid of them, he assumes that Dean would be afraid of them too and would fear him as well because of them, and would possibly even resent him for causing the fear.As you said, Dean has repeatedly shown regardless of what super secret curve balls Sam throws, he'll be (visibly) unswayed and stand by Sam's side, essentially counteracting Sam's fear of Dean's rejection. So, to me, it seems like there's got to be something else that's causing Sam to keep him mouth shut. Perhaps it's denial. Maybe Sam's so freaked out that his regular coping mechanisms can't accommodate this information and he's employing the if-I-ignore-it-maybe-it'll-go-away approach. Maybe if he doesn't verbalize it, it'll make it less real
( ... )
Thanks for coming! And thinking is ALWAYS a good thing ...
I wouldn't be at all surprised to find that John had a second journal (or diary) in which he kept his more personal and/or dangerous thoughts. In a way, the studio powers-that-be sort of suggested it (or at least implied that John had censored his journal before leaving it where his boys could find it) with the pages they posted over on the official website. That one began as a personal diary just days after the fire and encompassed detailed descriptions of people (including the boys) and encounters, including John bringing the boys to meet Missouri, while we learned in Home that the book the boys acquired in the pilot began simply with "I went to Missouri and learned the truth," with no suggestion that Missouri was a person and not a place
( ... )
I wonder if the storage locker was something John always meant to tell the boys about when they were older and just never got around to it.
I also wonder if John kept certain things about hunting from the boys, not only to keep them safe and for control, but also because deep down, this wasn't the life he wanted for them, and so didn't want to draw them in too deeply. (No one ever said John wasn't conflicted.)
Now I'm picturing a second journal lying, waiting, under the seat of John's truck. He could have left just enough information for the boys in the journal to see them through until he could be reunited with them, and then just ran out of time.
Hey, WhimsyThe man was definitely conflicted ... I think what he eventually chose to share or not share about the storage facility would have depended in part on exactly what he kept there. I think it may have been his "escape" place, somewhere he could go to think as well as to store the dangerous remnants of hunts. And if he also hid there the things he discovered about his youngest boy, he'd have kept that knowledge far away from his boys
( ... )
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I suspect that the Demon's vision was true, but when it comes to KTMB, I've found it best to keep my options (and my mind!) open. Just in case. Since we all know that we can add "sneaky" and "devious" to the standard adjective "magnificent."
And I have some defensible confidence that whatever the nature of the secrets Mary was keeping, she kept them out of love and protection. What I would point to as support is simply that, no matter what John discovered about her in his hunt, he never stopped loving her, grieving her, and wanting her back. Whatever happened involving Mary, John clearly didn't feel betrayed or wronged by it even though it cost the Winchester family all semblance of normality and meant that Sam would be challenged to his very soul. To me, that says that John didn't blame her for whatever role she played; to him, she was still the woman he loved.
*sniffle*
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A couple of your points got me thinking (never a good thing):
About Sam's secret about being fed demon blood as a baby, you wrote: Since he’s afraid of them, he assumes that Dean would be afraid of them too and would fear him as well because of them, and would possibly even resent him for causing the fear.As you said, Dean has repeatedly shown regardless of what super secret curve balls Sam throws, he'll be (visibly) unswayed and stand by Sam's side, essentially counteracting Sam's fear of Dean's rejection. So, to me, it seems like there's got to be something else that's causing Sam to keep him mouth shut. Perhaps it's denial. Maybe Sam's so freaked out that his regular coping mechanisms can't accommodate this information and he's employing the if-I-ignore-it-maybe-it'll-go-away approach. Maybe if he doesn't verbalize it, it'll make it less real ( ... )
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I wouldn't be at all surprised to find that John had a second journal (or diary) in which he kept his more personal and/or dangerous thoughts. In a way, the studio powers-that-be sort of suggested it (or at least implied that John had censored his journal before leaving it where his boys could find it) with the pages they posted over on the official website. That one began as a personal diary just days after the fire and encompassed detailed descriptions of people (including the boys) and encounters, including John bringing the boys to meet Missouri, while we learned in Home that the book the boys acquired in the pilot began simply with "I went to Missouri and learned the truth," with no suggestion that Missouri was a person and not a place ( ... )
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I also wonder if John kept certain things about hunting from the boys, not only to keep them safe and for control, but also because deep down, this wasn't the life he wanted for them, and so didn't want to draw them in too deeply. (No one ever said John wasn't conflicted.)
Now I'm picturing a second journal lying, waiting, under the seat of John's truck. He could have left just enough information for the boys in the journal to see them through until he could be reunited with them, and then just ran out of time.
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