Metafiction: Notes, Comments, and General TL:DR
Author’s Notes: Answering Questions that Pretty much NO ONE IS ASKING!
Oh wow…That monstrosity was over 30 pages long, total. Not the longest fanfic out there by even a fraction, but by far the longest one I have ever finished. (Which isn’t saying much.) And I’m not even out of ideas for this setting. I guess if another fit of mania hits me, I’ll eventually write some of those down, too.
This fic was born from the basic desire to put the ladies in a silly, goofy, AU setting where nothing bad could happen, or at least nothing that would ever be permanent. And I’ve had some version of the Metaverse setting bouncing around in my head for YEARS now. (Fun Fact: Back in middle school, I used to tell my younger brother these multi-mega crossover stories all set in what can probably be considered the earliest version of Metaverse, only they were far less self aware. And they tended to star Sonic the Hedgehog characters. And it’s probably a good thing I hadn’t discovered the internet yet, or fanfiction, because goddamn they were terrible.) And I sort of wanted an excuse to introduce the ladies to some of my characters in spite of the fact that it made no goddamn sense for them to ever be in the same universe together, because DAMMIT IT SOUNDED LIKE FUN.
Basically, it was a huge pile of “sounded like a good idea at the times” coming together all at once to become some huge…THING.
But enough lame backstory! I feel like breaking this sucker down Part by Part!
Part One: The Sign Knew you were Coming
1. So, what’s the Deal with Smoker’s little breakdown at the beginning?
In it’s earliest version, I actually didn’t have this part, or at least not as strongly. It was more like they walked into the Bar, and Smoker slowly realized that there was a LOT of things OFF WITH THIS PLACE. And I knew I wanted Hunter and Smoker to go off and do their own separate things for a bit. I also wanted it to not be Hunter’s first time there.
Problem was, I could never quite make that version work fully in my head. And it wasn’t fun to write. Hunter was coming off as sortof a jerk, and Smoker was refusing to talk to anyone.
So it was sometime during my 3rd or so actual attempt to write the stupid thing that it finally occurred to me: Ok, so if this is a metafictional universe…REALLY…then why haven’t I addressed the obvious question of what would happen if you suddenly were made aware of the fact that you were a fictional character?
And in Smoker’s case, with as traumatizing a storyline as she has, the answer was obvious: she probably wouldn’t take it all that well. And if Hunter had been there first, and knew it would happen…
It was also around this point Zarla had just written the Official How they Met fic, so I had an exceptionally clear picture in my head of how Hunter handles stuff when she knows she’s hurt someone she cares about. (answer: again, NOT WELL.)
The best part about this was that I also had a way to get Smoker…a naturally grouchy person who is slow to trust people…to open up to someone else. More importantly, I had an in universe reason for someone else to approach her; if this was the sort of thing that happened to ALL newcomers, then conceivably whoever was acting as staff at the time would be aware of it, and even prepared to respond. THIS IS A FUN PLACE DANGIT, BUT WE ALL WENT THROUGH THAT PART AND KNOW HOW MUCH IT CAN SUCK, SO WE WILL DO WHAT WE CAN TO HELP IT NOT SUCK SO MUCH FOR YOU SO YOU CAN BE IN ON THE FUN STUFF TOO.
2. What was Sparky/Sha-Dache’s deal when Smoker asked if that chair was vacant? And what’s up with the scar? (You totally ripped that off from, like, Avatar the Last Airbender, didn’t you?)
The simplest way to put it is that English isn’t his first language. (In his universe, he would actually be speaking something like modified Middle English, which is pretty different from the English we speak today…and even THAT isn’t his first language.) So while translation convention hold sway in a metafictional universe for the sake of everyone’s sanity, it’s an unspoken reality that not everything translates perfectly. Also, Sha doesn’t really have the world’s best social skills.
In other words, he was confused by the question. She was asking if it was ok for her to sit down, and what he was hearing was “Is this obviously unoccupied chair right now, at this very moment, empty?”
The misunderstanding wasn’t helped by the fact that she had just inexplicably yelled in his face, and then made a really inane remark about his gender. (It hadn’t occurred to him yet that she was still suffering from transition shock. Whoops.) In his last line in that section, he had actually figured out what she really wanted at that point, and was doing his best to warn her about Tora. Problem is, she missed what he said, and Sha HATES repeating himself. He literally took back his warning as a rather petty way of getting back at her for not listening up the first time. THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME HE’S DONE SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
He does wind up regretting this once he starts to warm up to her, though, which is why he ended up yelling at Tora preemptively when he finally showed up.
(Incidentally, his arrival was actually foreshadowed before the ladies even got through the front door. And if I keep on writing this thing, it will also prove to be a call ahead to at least one more future joke.)
As for the scar: it is a large burn scar on his right cheek, stretching from where his ear meets his jawline to the edge of his mouth, and from his lower jawline up almost to his lower eyelid, and a little bit on the bridge of his nose. It is shaped exactly like a handprint, and makes him look a little like he was slapped really hard until you notice the scar tissue. So, kinda big, obvious, and probably a little shocking when you first see it.
And I solemnly swear that I did not have Zuko in mind when I made that a part of his character almost…hmm…four, five years ago? Without going into detail, sometime in his development, I realized wanted him to do something stupidly heroic and suffer an actual, visible, lasting consequence for it. This was the result. It hadn’t occurred to me just how cliché facial scars had really become at that point, but I can’t picture him without it now.
3. Alright, then…what’s the deal with that pushy bartender, Alison?
I was originally quite wary of using my Original Characters too much…I like to talk about them, as you can see, and was afraid that I would lose focus of the real stars of the fic if I gave them too much screen time. But when I found out how to get Smoker off balance enough to maybe actually talk to people, I also had to figure out who was going to approach her first.
Sha wasn’t much help here, for obvious reasons, so my next choice was Lance. But I was really worried about using Lance because…well, his entire power set made me worry that he might come across as either a creepy mind stalker or a nice guy Gary Stu. Also, I was a little worried about my tendency to default to writing guys all the time when left to my own devices.
Alison, on the other hand…I hadn’t written her in a while. She’s a fun character. Deeply practical, sympathetic to newbie Smoker’s plight, knowledgeable enough to recognize the symptoms…but just bad enough at the whole ‘empathy’ thing to take the wrong approach.
Alison is a nutritionist/kitchen witch character from the same setting as Lance (a magical realism novel series idea I’ve had stuck in my head for over a decade now); in fact, all of the named characters on the staff in this fic are from that universe. Her specialty is health drinks (she worked as a barista for several years) that in a different setting would be described as potions. So a bit of a healer, but without the normal healer personality. She sincerely believes that things would be better if unwell people would just shut up and let her help them without asking a lot of inconvenient questions. She’s not trying to hurt them, they should have no reason whatsoever to suspect her of anything!
She had that quality built into her before I started this fic, but I admit I exaggerated it a fair bit to make it funny. And then it gave me an excuse to have Lance introduce himself anyway. Sigh
Part Two: AND SUDDENLY, DISCO
4. Obscure Zarla character out of nowhere?
Yes! :D I actually happen to like Girl and Triangle; it’s quirky and fun. And I thought since I was using Zarla characters anyway, then it was appropriate.
Besides, this part of the metaverse is technically set up for Fancharacters, Original characters from obscure or unpublished material, or (to a lesser extent) webcomic characters. (I may go more into the implications of this in another story.) Hence my excuse for shoving so many of my OCs in here at once.
Mike’s fight with Disco was way too much fun to write.
5. Mike’s sort of a jerk, isn’t he?
Yes, yes he is. And he’s also Lance’s best friend. Make of that what you will.
6. You know, for someone who is supposed to be such a trash talker, we don’t actually get to hear Kaz talk that much.
WTF, that’s not a question.
But you are correct. That’s one of the place where I think I fell down the most, but the problem is, Kaz’s smugness really comes less from what he says than how he looks at people when he wins at something. He has this air of unshakeable arrogance at times like these.
And I’m not sure if this came through or not, but the real problem, apart from getting on people’s nerves, was the fact that he was kinda keeping Sha and Tora from being able to leave the Bar because he wouldn’t stop challenging people (metaverse is still relatively new to them, and they don’t like to split the team too much in strange territory.)
Basically, Tora wasn’t being completely truthful when he recruited Hunter.
7. Goddam Bardic, all of your characters are jerks!
Hey now, you really have only seen a small amount of their personalities! Chill. Take a deep breath. Let me develop them a bit, and then judge.
Sides, there was only so much I wanted to develop them here given that they aren’t the main characters.
That said, if you do give them a chance, and still hate them after…than I apologize, and will try to write less shitty characters in the future.
8. FINE. So, what’s the deal with that Holly chick, and why was she sent to brief Hunter like that?
Holly’s day job is Coach to a college level girl’s soccer team. If she can be said to have a power, it’s that she’s really good at devising tactics, and evaluating physical strengths and weaknesses in people.
She might have even been able to take on Kaz herself, but…well, my bullshit reason for that is that it violated the exact terms of Tora’s bet. The bet was for some random stranger from the crowd, and she was simply too much of a known quantity. (Yes, Kaz knew about the bet, even if he couldn’t participate directly.)
Incidentally, I had first planned to not have a briefing scene at all, then I had planned to have Tora do it. I scratched that one when I realized how cheap it would be if Kaz’s own teammate picked the opponent and then gave her all the ammo. I wanted Hunter’s victory to be legit, or at least more legit than that.
I also considered Mike for that role, but I scratched that because he and Hunter would probably have come to blows if they’d been allowed to talk too long with each other.
9. And suddenly, psychic powers? Another ass pull?
Lance has been an empathic character for years now; I did not make that up for this fic. His exact powers have changed over time. He was once more of a straight mind reader, for instance, and had a whole bunch of other powers. (I was still in my X-men phase back when I made him.) He was a GIANT GARY STU. I ADMIT THAT NOW.
I cut back on his powers over time, to better fit the changing tone of the story I was setting him in. He reads emotions, but not thoughts. (although he will sometimes mentally interpret strong emotions as words, he does not “hear” exactly what you are thinking.) With enough concentration, he can play with your emotions…emphasize what’s already there, play up a fear, quietly boost your confidence…in extreme situations, he can even overload someone by “dumping” someone elses emotions directly into their brain. And he can do the first emotion trick even better when he’s singing.
(If Smoker knew about those parts, she would never have agreed to speak with him. Heck, she may have even snapped and hit him.)
Fortunately for everyone involved, he reserves the more mind-meddling bits of his powers for actual emergencies (like, stopping someone from seriously hurting themselves or someone else. For instance…this hasn’t shown up yet because Smoker has only seen him from behind a bar, but Lance walks with a bit of a limp. It’s from an injury he got as a teenage when someone who didn’t like him FLIPPED OUT and tried to murder him with a tire iron. He ultimately only managed to hold him off long enough for help to arrive by temporarily dumping all the pain and fear that he was feeling at the moment directly into his assailants brain.) Lance is actually a total pacifist, and genuinely believes in doing no harm; that includes mental harm.
And he thinks taking away freedom through undue influence counts as mental harm.
10. Lol, Fire magic to light a cigarette, really?
Haha, that’s one of the original plot points that I really wanted to keep from my original idea for the fic. Only, it was originally just a small ice breaker moment for her and Sha, not the tipping factor that got her to finally start directly addressing her problem.
It also originally happened at a different place in the story.
In one of the earliest incarnations, Smoker didn’t really talk to anyone much, and spent more time fighting with her failing lighter. She was busy watching Hunter dance (the contest between her and Kaz was another early plot point; what changed was how the challenge was issued, and exactly how obnoxious Kaz was being…he was originally much worse) when her lighter FINALLY refused to light...she needed a cig, but she didn’t want to look away! Besides, she didn’t want to have to (uggh) talk to the weirdo next to her…but she ended up turning and asking him anyway, he obliges, and she is so shocked at the sight of the magic (in a room full of weirdos, yeah) that she misses the end of the song. Both turn to look, can’t see the game screen clearly through the crowd, turn to each other and yell “I MISSED IT, WHO WON?” And that’s when they realize they both have clingy cat-like people as friends.
I deep sixed that idea because it felt out of place, and was threatening to eclipse Smoker’s realization about her feelings for Hunter. I3
Part 3: HYPOTHETICAL, YOU KEEP USING THAT WORD
11. Ok, Bardic, what the hell was up with that long ass confession sequence?
I’ve mentioned this already, but originally, I didn’t have Smoker speak very much to anyone. That wasn’t working; it involved too much boring inner monologue. Also, I sincerely believe what Lance ultimately said about her. In her heart, she knows what she really wants, and what she really cares about. (I go entirely by how she acts when she is acting impulsively, and not letting her natural cynicism and suspicion get in the way for this. And the truth is, she cares a LOT about Hunter.)
And ultimately, behind all the confusion about the timelines, and the sheer mindfuckery of seeing your own story from the outside like that, I think that was her biggest problem. She could adjust to the truth of being fictional. She could, given time, get her head around the screwed up timeline, and has other friends to talk about that with anyway. But until she was completely honest with herself, the Hunter thing was going to keep tripping her up.
So, I wanted her to suck it up and talk about it with someone. Someone who wouldn’t give unwanted advice, try to mansplain things to her (she gets enough of that as it is), or outright tell her how to think. I didn’t want some guy character (or even some girl character) coming in and rescuing her from herself and making it come off like OH POOR DEFENSELESS LITTLE SMOKER WHO CANNOT EVEN THINK PROPERLY FOR HERSELF because that would be an insult to her and her character.
I wanted her listeners to be a sounding board of sorts, with opinions of their own, true. (And there, I am kindof happy. The sorts of questions they asked were just SUCH great illustrations of their personalities. Alison is all straight forward practical thinking, saying honestly and bluntly how she would have solved the problem; ultimately, she was able to point out that both sides screwed up. Sha is obsessed with side details, and keeps straying away from the main point; he wants BACKGROUND DETAILS, DAMMIT, but ultimately when he does get on point, he actually does have a valuable contribution. Too bad he sucks at expressing it. Lance is practical in his own way, but he’s all concerned with the emotions involved…how did you feel, how do you think she felt…and actually offers very little in terms of ‘solutions’ because he’s too busy sounding out the problem.) But I wanted Smoker to solve her own problem, on her own, without being directly lead to it or told what to do. I’m not sure how well I succeeded in this goal, but that’s what I was aiming for.
I could see her in canon maybe having a conversation like this with Charger and/or Jockey, but in this little metafic, they have yet to be introduced…yet. I have plans in that direction. (I also have plans for them…that is, all the ladies to come in via different entrances for different stories. I’m thinking that for the one that introduces Charger and Jockey, they could come in through what they THINK is a safe house door. I see it going like ARRRGH ARRGH ZOMBIES ZOMBIES SHOOT RUN OPEN THE DOOR GET INSIDE WHOOPS WHERE ARE WE OH HEY GUYS YEAH WE’RE ALL COVERED IN BLOOD AND PUKE AND STUFF HOW EMBARASSING IS THERE A SHOWER WE CAN USE. I also picture Charger having a total breakdown, while Jockey shrugs it off with a cheerful “I KNEW IT! And I was totally right about the closet thing! Partially.”)
12. Bardic, you talk too much.
Yes. Yes I do.
13. So, are there actually songs like that in DDR, or was it really just a product of your shitty imagination?
As it turns out, I wasn’t entirely off base with that one, but it was not through any research of my own that I found that out; I’ll let you see what zarla had to say about it.
"haha SUDDENLY DDR my first thoughts for a weird timed song was bag, which was infamous for having bizarrely slow timing and a dense chart to the extent that it's almost universally played with speed modifiers. :B Afronova Primeval also has a bit in the chorus that seems deliberately offtime and I always had trouble following the rhythm on that one. For generically tough there's the classic Max 300, which you practically need to memorize and also has a freeze in the middle that can totally throw someone off.Pluto the First also has a bunch of weird time changes and freezes in it, but this is edging into fanatic player territory. This is beyond most casual DDR people. :O I think the hardest song that exists currently is Pluto Relinquish which is absurd, or maybe Valkyrie Dimension. "
Zarla is so awesome you guys. <3
Epilogue of Doom
14. Was that a clumsy sequel hook I saw there?
Yes. Yes it was.
15. Wait, what, woah, was that a heavily implied sexy time scene I saw right there a the end, and you COMPLETELY DIDN’T WRITE IT?
Yeah. Sorry. I have absolutely nothing against good fun sexy time writing, but I don’t write it myself for the same reason that I cheeped out on the action scenes: I suck too much to do it well, and you guys can probably imagine the scene ten times better than I could write it anyway.
Also, I’d be a little embarrassed to post something like that on a basic journal like this even if I did have the confidence to write it myself.
But you guys are free to write it if you want. In fact, you guys are welcome to use this entire setting if you like…I see metaverse as a big shared community by it’s very nature.
And best of all, you don’t have to use my shitty OCs at all when you write in it!
(But on the extremely remote offchance that any of you ever do want to use them, drop me a link? I’d be curious to see what your takes on them would be.)
although, seriously? If you guys do actually have any questions, please please ask. I'm not expecting much if any responses to this, but as you can see, I don't need much encouragement to blah blah abou this stuff.
Oh wow…That monstrosity was over 30 pages long, total. Not the longest fanfic out there by even a fraction, but by far the longest one I have ever finished. (Which isn’t saying much.) And I’m not even out of ideas for this setting. I guess if another fit of mania hits me, I’ll eventually write some of those down, too.
This fic was born from the basic desire to put the ladies in a silly, goofy, AU setting where nothing bad could happen, or at least nothing that would ever be permanent. And I’ve had some version of the Metaverse setting bouncing around in my head for YEARS now. (Fun Fact: Back in middle school, I used to tell my younger brother these multi-mega crossover stories all set in what can probably be considered the earliest version of Metaverse, only they were far less self aware. And they tended to star Sonic the Hedgehog characters. And it’s probably a good thing I hadn’t discovered the internet yet, or fanfiction, because goddamn they were terrible.) And I sort of wanted an excuse to introduce the ladies to some of my characters in spite of the fact that it made no goddamn sense for them to ever be in the same universe together, because DAMMIT IT SOUNDED LIKE FUN.
Basically, it was a huge pile of “sounded like a good idea at the times” coming together all at once to become some huge…THING.
But enough lame backstory! I feel like breaking this sucker down Part by Part!
Part One: The Sign Knew you were Coming
1. So, what’s the Deal with Smoker’s little breakdown at the beginning?
In it’s earliest version, I actually didn’t have this part, or at least not as strongly. It was more like they walked into the Bar, and Smoker slowly realized that there was a LOT of things OFF WITH THIS PLACE. And I knew I wanted Hunter and Smoker to go off and do their own separate things for a bit. I also wanted it to not be Hunter’s first time there.
Problem was, I could never quite make that version work fully in my head. And it wasn’t fun to write. Hunter was coming off as sortof a jerk, and Smoker was refusing to talk to anyone.
So it was sometime during my 3rd or so actual attempt to write the stupid thing that it finally occurred to me: Ok, so if this is a metafictional universe…REALLY…then why haven’t I addressed the obvious question of what would happen if you suddenly were made aware of the fact that you were a fictional character?
And in Smoker’s case, with as traumatizing a storyline as she has, the answer was obvious: she probably wouldn’t take it all that well. And if Hunter had been there first, and knew it would happen…
It was also around this point Zarla had just written the Official How they Met fic, so I had an exceptionally clear picture in my head of how Hunter handles stuff when she knows she’s hurt someone she cares about. (answer: again, NOT WELL.)
The best part about this was that I also had a way to get Smoker…a naturally grouchy person who is slow to trust people…to open up to someone else. More importantly, I had an in universe reason for someone else to approach her; if this was the sort of thing that happened to ALL newcomers, then conceivably whoever was acting as staff at the time would be aware of it, and even prepared to respond. THIS IS A FUN PLACE DANGIT, BUT WE ALL WENT THROUGH THAT PART AND KNOW HOW MUCH IT CAN SUCK, SO WE WILL DO WHAT WE CAN TO HELP IT NOT SUCK SO MUCH FOR YOU SO YOU CAN BE IN ON THE FUN STUFF TOO.
2. What was Sparky/Sha-Dache’s deal when Smoker asked if that chair was vacant? And what’s up with the scar? (You totally ripped that off from, like, Avatar the Last Airbender, didn’t you?)
The simplest way to put it is that English isn’t his first language. (In his universe, he would actually be speaking something like modified Middle English, which is pretty different from the English we speak today…and even THAT isn’t his first language.) So while translation convention hold sway in a metafictional universe for the sake of everyone’s sanity, it’s an unspoken reality that not everything translates perfectly. Also, Sha doesn’t really have the world’s best social skills.
In other words, he was confused by the question. She was asking if it was ok for her to sit down, and what he was hearing was “Is this obviously unoccupied chair right now, at this very moment, empty?”
The misunderstanding wasn’t helped by the fact that she had just inexplicably yelled in his face, and then made a really inane remark about his gender. (It hadn’t occurred to him yet that she was still suffering from transition shock. Whoops.) In his last line in that section, he had actually figured out what she really wanted at that point, and was doing his best to warn her about Tora. Problem is, she missed what he said, and Sha HATES repeating himself. He literally took back his warning as a rather petty way of getting back at her for not listening up the first time. THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME HE’S DONE SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
He does wind up regretting this once he starts to warm up to her, though, which is why he ended up yelling at Tora preemptively when he finally showed up.
(Incidentally, his arrival was actually foreshadowed before the ladies even got through the front door. And if I keep on writing this thing, it will also prove to be a call ahead to at least one more future joke.)
As for the scar: it is a large burn scar on his right cheek, stretching from where his ear meets his jawline to the edge of his mouth, and from his lower jawline up almost to his lower eyelid, and a little bit on the bridge of his nose. It is shaped exactly like a handprint, and makes him look a little like he was slapped really hard until you notice the scar tissue. So, kinda big, obvious, and probably a little shocking when you first see it.
And I solemnly swear that I did not have Zuko in mind when I made that a part of his character almost…hmm…four, five years ago? Without going into detail, sometime in his development, I realized wanted him to do something stupidly heroic and suffer an actual, visible, lasting consequence for it. This was the result. It hadn’t occurred to me just how cliché facial scars had really become at that point, but I can’t picture him without it now.
3. Alright, then…what’s the deal with that pushy bartender, Alison?
I was originally quite wary of using my Original Characters too much…I like to talk about them, as you can see, and was afraid that I would lose focus of the real stars of the fic if I gave them too much screen time. But when I found out how to get Smoker off balance enough to maybe actually talk to people, I also had to figure out who was going to approach her first.
Sha wasn’t much help here, for obvious reasons, so my next choice was Lance. But I was really worried about using Lance because…well, his entire power set made me worry that he might come across as either a creepy mind stalker or a nice guy Gary Stu. Also, I was a little worried about my tendency to default to writing guys all the time when left to my own devices.
Alison, on the other hand…I hadn’t written her in a while. She’s a fun character. Deeply practical, sympathetic to newbie Smoker’s plight, knowledgeable enough to recognize the symptoms…but just bad enough at the whole ‘empathy’ thing to take the wrong approach.
Alison is a nutritionist/kitchen witch character from the same setting as Lance (a magical realism novel series idea I’ve had stuck in my head for over a decade now); in fact, all of the named characters on the staff in this fic are from that universe. Her specialty is health drinks (she worked as a barista for several years) that in a different setting would be described as potions. So a bit of a healer, but without the normal healer personality. She sincerely believes that things would be better if unwell people would just shut up and let her help them without asking a lot of inconvenient questions. She’s not trying to hurt them, they should have no reason whatsoever to suspect her of anything!
She had that quality built into her before I started this fic, but I admit I exaggerated it a fair bit to make it funny. And then it gave me an excuse to have Lance introduce himself anyway. Sigh
Part Two: AND SUDDENLY, DISCO
4. Obscure Zarla character out of nowhere?
Yes! :D I actually happen to like Girl and Triangle; it’s quirky and fun. And I thought since I was using Zarla characters anyway, then it was appropriate.
Besides, this part of the metaverse is technically set up for Fancharacters, Original characters from obscure or unpublished material, or (to a lesser extent) webcomic characters. (I may go more into the implications of this in another story.) Hence my excuse for shoving so many of my OCs in here at once.
Mike’s fight with Disco was way too much fun to write.
5. Mike’s sort of a jerk, isn’t he?
Yes, yes he is. And he’s also Lance’s best friend. Make of that what you will.
6. You know, for someone who is supposed to be such a trash talker, we don’t actually get to hear Kaz talk that much.
WTF, that’s not a question.
But you are correct. That’s one of the place where I think I fell down the most, but the problem is, Kaz’s smugness really comes less from what he says than how he looks at people when he wins at something. He has this air of unshakeable arrogance at times like these.
And I’m not sure if this came through or not, but the real problem, apart from getting on people’s nerves, was the fact that he was kinda keeping Sha and Tora from being able to leave the Bar because he wouldn’t stop challenging people (metaverse is still relatively new to them, and they don’t like to split the team too much in strange territory.)
Basically, Tora wasn’t being completely truthful when he recruited Hunter.
7. Goddam Bardic, all of your characters are jerks!
Hey now, you really have only seen a small amount of their personalities! Chill. Take a deep breath. Let me develop them a bit, and then judge.
Sides, there was only so much I wanted to develop them here given that they aren’t the main characters.
That said, if you do give them a chance, and still hate them after…than I apologize, and will try to write less shitty characters in the future.
8. FINE. So, what’s the deal with that Holly chick, and why was she sent to brief Hunter like that?
Holly’s day job is Coach to a college level girl’s soccer team. If she can be said to have a power, it’s that she’s really good at devising tactics, and evaluating physical strengths and weaknesses in people.
She might have even been able to take on Kaz herself, but…well, my bullshit reason for that is that it violated the exact terms of Tora’s bet. The bet was for some random stranger from the crowd, and she was simply too much of a known quantity. (Yes, Kaz knew about the bet, even if he couldn’t participate directly.)
Incidentally, I had first planned to not have a briefing scene at all, then I had planned to have Tora do it. I scratched that one when I realized how cheap it would be if Kaz’s own teammate picked the opponent and then gave her all the ammo. I wanted Hunter’s victory to be legit, or at least more legit than that.
I also considered Mike for that role, but I scratched that because he and Hunter would probably have come to blows if they’d been allowed to talk too long with each other.
9. And suddenly, psychic powers? Another ass pull?
Lance has been an empathic character for years now; I did not make that up for this fic. His exact powers have changed over time. He was once more of a straight mind reader, for instance, and had a whole bunch of other powers. (I was still in my X-men phase back when I made him.) He was a GIANT GARY STU. I ADMIT THAT NOW.
I cut back on his powers over time, to better fit the changing tone of the story I was setting him in. He reads emotions, but not thoughts. (although he will sometimes mentally interpret strong emotions as words, he does not “hear” exactly what you are thinking.) With enough concentration, he can play with your emotions…emphasize what’s already there, play up a fear, quietly boost your confidence…in extreme situations, he can even overload someone by “dumping” someone elses emotions directly into their brain. And he can do the first emotion trick even better when he’s singing.
(If Smoker knew about those parts, she would never have agreed to speak with him. Heck, she may have even snapped and hit him.)
Fortunately for everyone involved, he reserves the more mind-meddling bits of his powers for actual emergencies (like, stopping someone from seriously hurting themselves or someone else. For instance…this hasn’t shown up yet because Smoker has only seen him from behind a bar, but Lance walks with a bit of a limp. It’s from an injury he got as a teenage when someone who didn’t like him FLIPPED OUT and tried to murder him with a tire iron. He ultimately only managed to hold him off long enough for help to arrive by temporarily dumping all the pain and fear that he was feeling at the moment directly into his assailants brain.) Lance is actually a total pacifist, and genuinely believes in doing no harm; that includes mental harm.
And he thinks taking away freedom through undue influence counts as mental harm.
10. Lol, Fire magic to light a cigarette, really?
Haha, that’s one of the original plot points that I really wanted to keep from my original idea for the fic. Only, it was originally just a small ice breaker moment for her and Sha, not the tipping factor that got her to finally start directly addressing her problem.
It also originally happened at a different place in the story.
In one of the earliest incarnations, Smoker didn’t really talk to anyone much, and spent more time fighting with her failing lighter. She was busy watching Hunter dance (the contest between her and Kaz was another early plot point; what changed was how the challenge was issued, and exactly how obnoxious Kaz was being…he was originally much worse) when her lighter FINALLY refused to light...she needed a cig, but she didn’t want to look away! Besides, she didn’t want to have to (uggh) talk to the weirdo next to her…but she ended up turning and asking him anyway, he obliges, and she is so shocked at the sight of the magic (in a room full of weirdos, yeah) that she misses the end of the song. Both turn to look, can’t see the game screen clearly through the crowd, turn to each other and yell “I MISSED IT, WHO WON?” And that’s when they realize they both have clingy cat-like people as friends.
I deep sixed that idea because it felt out of place, and was threatening to eclipse Smoker’s realization about her feelings for Hunter. I3
Part 3: HYPOTHETICAL, YOU KEEP USING THAT WORD
11. Ok, Bardic, what the hell was up with that long ass confession sequence?
I’ve mentioned this already, but originally, I didn’t have Smoker speak very much to anyone. That wasn’t working; it involved too much boring inner monologue. Also, I sincerely believe what Lance ultimately said about her. In her heart, she knows what she really wants, and what she really cares about. (I go entirely by how she acts when she is acting impulsively, and not letting her natural cynicism and suspicion get in the way for this. And the truth is, she cares a LOT about Hunter.)
And ultimately, behind all the confusion about the timelines, and the sheer mindfuckery of seeing your own story from the outside like that, I think that was her biggest problem. She could adjust to the truth of being fictional. She could, given time, get her head around the screwed up timeline, and has other friends to talk about that with anyway. But until she was completely honest with herself, the Hunter thing was going to keep tripping her up.
So, I wanted her to suck it up and talk about it with someone. Someone who wouldn’t give unwanted advice, try to mansplain things to her (she gets enough of that as it is), or outright tell her how to think. I didn’t want some guy character (or even some girl character) coming in and rescuing her from herself and making it come off like OH POOR DEFENSELESS LITTLE SMOKER WHO CANNOT EVEN THINK PROPERLY FOR HERSELF because that would be an insult to her and her character.
I wanted her listeners to be a sounding board of sorts, with opinions of their own, true. (And there, I am kindof happy. The sorts of questions they asked were just SUCH great illustrations of their personalities. Alison is all straight forward practical thinking, saying honestly and bluntly how she would have solved the problem; ultimately, she was able to point out that both sides screwed up. Sha is obsessed with side details, and keeps straying away from the main point; he wants BACKGROUND DETAILS, DAMMIT, but ultimately when he does get on point, he actually does have a valuable contribution. Too bad he sucks at expressing it. Lance is practical in his own way, but he’s all concerned with the emotions involved…how did you feel, how do you think she felt…and actually offers very little in terms of ‘solutions’ because he’s too busy sounding out the problem.) But I wanted Smoker to solve her own problem, on her own, without being directly lead to it or told what to do. I’m not sure how well I succeeded in this goal, but that’s what I was aiming for.
I could see her in canon maybe having a conversation like this with Charger and/or Jockey, but in this little metafic, they have yet to be introduced…yet. I have plans in that direction. (I also have plans for them…that is, all the ladies to come in via different entrances for different stories. I’m thinking that for the one that introduces Charger and Jockey, they could come in through what they THINK is a safe house door. I see it going like ARRRGH ARRGH ZOMBIES ZOMBIES SHOOT RUN OPEN THE DOOR GET INSIDE WHOOPS WHERE ARE WE OH HEY GUYS YEAH WE’RE ALL COVERED IN BLOOD AND PUKE AND STUFF HOW EMBARASSING IS THERE A SHOWER WE CAN USE. I also picture Charger having a total breakdown, while Jockey shrugs it off with a cheerful “I KNEW IT! And I was totally right about the closet thing! Partially.”)
12. Bardic, you talk too much.
Yes. Yes I do.
13. So, are there actually songs like that in DDR, or was it really just a product of your shitty imagination?
As it turns out, I wasn’t entirely off base with that one, but it was not through any research of my own that I found that out; I’ll let you see what zarla had to say about it.
"haha SUDDENLY DDR my first thoughts for a weird timed song was bag, which was infamous for having bizarrely slow timing and a dense chart to the extent that it's almost universally played with speed modifiers. :B Afronova Primeval also has a bit in the chorus that seems deliberately offtime and I always had trouble following the rhythm on that one. For generically tough there's the classic Max 300, which you practically need to memorize and also has a freeze in the middle that can totally throw someone off.Pluto the First also has a bunch of weird time changes and freezes in it, but this is edging into fanatic player territory. This is beyond most casual DDR people. :O I think the hardest song that exists currently is Pluto Relinquish which is absurd, or maybe Valkyrie Dimension. "
Zarla is so awesome you guys. <3
Epilogue of Doom
14. Was that a clumsy sequel hook I saw there?
Yes. Yes it was.
15. Wait, what, woah, was that a heavily implied sexy time scene I saw right there a the end, and you COMPLETELY DIDN’T WRITE IT?
Yeah. Sorry. I have absolutely nothing against good fun sexy time writing, but I don’t write it myself for the same reason that I cheeped out on the action scenes: I suck too much to do it well, and you guys can probably imagine the scene ten times better than I could write it anyway.
Also, I’d be a little embarrassed to post something like that on a basic journal like this even if I did have the confidence to write it myself.
But you guys are free to write it if you want. In fact, you guys are welcome to use this entire setting if you like…I see metaverse as a big shared community by it’s very nature.
And best of all, you don’t have to use my shitty OCs at all when you write in it!
(But on the extremely remote offchance that any of you ever do want to use them, drop me a link? I’d be curious to see what your takes on them would be.)
although, seriously? If you guys do actually have any questions, please please ask. I'm not expecting much if any responses to this, but as you can see, I don't need much encouragement to blah blah abou this stuff.