"Don't Blame Me" Susan/Lucy
Title: Don't Blame Me
Pairing: Susan/Lucy
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own nothing, except the odd thoughts in my head.
Summary: Susan explains to Lucy why she will not come with her. Susan is too enraptured with getting ready to realize how much this breaks Lucy's heart.
Author's Note: This is pretty epic for me: a poem and then a drabble after it. It took me forever to actually get the flow just how I wanted it, so please tell me what you think!
Don't blame me...
We were so young and naive
We were foolish little things:
It was all a game and you,
Well you just took it too seriously
Those were dreams,
Now fading away into non-existence.
Stop giving me that look,
It is not my fault.
I was playing along,
I was bored.
You were just someone to occupy my mind
O, dear, I hope my date for tonight doesn't come in now
That would be positively awful, seeing me in this state
I would never be able to live that down
Don't huff around looking all annoyed,
I am the only one here who has the right to be pissed off
Honestly, you look at me like I'm the enemy
Just face it, sweety:
You are still a child:
Grow up.
It was all a game,
There is no Aslan, no Narnia...
After all that I've tried to build up over the years,
Why do you keep bringing back our childhood nothings?
It just *can't* be true!
It goes against everything I've worked for!
I won't believe, I can't believe!
I am supposed to be mature,
Be above all this tomfoolery...
Why can't you just let me be?
I am so close to my goal,
What it is I know not.
I guess I want something stable,
Unlike those phantasms of our youth.
I want to be pretty,
No: not pretty,
Beautiful.
I want to make men crawl on their knees,
Begging for my hand
I should not tell you this,
I am just showing you my weakness...
I have this feeling,
Like if I just did one thing
I could be pretty:
Use a different shampoo,
Buy a different mascara,
Brush my hair 10 more strokes a day
There is something out there
That will make me beautiful
But, after all my searching,
I realize that I will always be
Almost Perfect.
..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
"Anyway, the answer to your question is no, I will not go with you to who knows where. I have my place here, and I am content" Said Susan, after her little rant.
Lucy's eyes were burning with something Susan could not place: passion, rage, or disbelief at Susan's answer. "Content, but not happy? Content doesn't sum up even closely what you deserve after all you did, back in the days when you were gentle. You deserve to be eternally blissful: so happy your face hurts from smiling all day. This person before me... Deserves whats coming." And with that, Lucy stormed from the room, but underneath that mask of anger layed a wounded animal, limping away, and trying to stop itself from looking back at what lays behind him of his dead family.
"But don't say a word of this to our brothers!" yelled Susan after her, worrying what they would say the next time they have tea. Susan continued to apply her lipstick, putting on her nylons, and checking the address of tonight's party on yet another invitation.
Lucy, running across the street, covering her head with her old raincoat, reached the public phone. She put in some change and dialed her home phone number. Waiting for someone to pick up, she looked up to the window of her sister's flat, seeing the shadow of her sister running around, getting ready. Glancing down, she noticed a taxi pull up and a tall, daper man stepped out and strided to the door. A lion that was curled up in Lucy's gut all of a sudden leaped and roared at this strange gentleman. Lucy flashed him a death glare then turned her back on him, not wanting to see Susan ever again. But she just kept on wanting to glance back, to see if Susan really liked all this pompousness...
Lucy heard a click down the line and heard Professor Kirke pick up, sounding breathless. "Hello?" sighed the old professor.
"Hello, Professor. It's me, Lucy. Susan won't come. She's too busy, having to go to many parties and whatnot. " Lucy didn't want to talk about it but she couldn't help but be bitter.
"Oh, dear girl. That's a shame. I'm sorry, Lucy. Maybe it will all turn out well in the end."
"Yeah, maybe..." And with that, Lucy hung up and slowly started her way down the gray street, talking her time walking to the nearest train station. Ya, I'm sorry too...