The writing is good but it doesn't work for Anita and Edward.
It doesn't speak in Anita's voice at all, and that whole bit about her finding Edward fighting to be poetry in motion is completely out of character. Also, Edward would not give up his own life for anyone, not even Anita.
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You even made it angsty! You really do love me!
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It doesn't speak in Anita's voice at all, and that whole bit about her finding Edward fighting to be poetry in motion is completely out of character. Also, Edward would not give up his own life for anyone, not even Anita.
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