fight scenes repost

Apr 09, 2015 15:56


This is a thing I posted some 8 or 9 years ago.

I'm prompted to repost it by this essay by Max Gladstone ( Read more... )

writing craft, writing

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barbarienne April 10 2015, 16:01:40 UTC
Oh dear Crom, that is an awful fight scene! Eyes glazing... It would only be valid if the entire point of the scene is to demonstrate that these people have poetical names for various moves. If that's the point, then it's been driven to overkill.

It makes me laugh to think of the code names my fencing team came up with for the moves certain opposing teams frequently used. The JMU women would double-disengage a lot. If one of our teammates was getting hit by that move, we would should "Mac and cheese! Mac and cheese!" from the sidelines to tell her what was happening and that she should switch parries to clear all lines on the next attack.

Maybe not as poetic as "Eel Among the Lily Pads," but a lot more fun to shout.

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The most amazing thing about the NPIA opening is that it's a guy waking up in a white room. A perfect example of "we tell new writers not to do these things because they're really, really hard. Not impossible, but HARD."

Pretty much you've got to do it as well as Zelazny, or don't bother.

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green_knight April 13 2015, 13:42:50 UTC
Maybe if you're really, really good you can plan every hit

I had been fencing for about a year before I hit that point: I was pretty much a slow and awkward beginner (and never got much further) - but I found that if I planned what I was going to do I could press my opponents and at least not look like a complete fake. They still outfenced me, but I'd held my own.

From that perspective I would say that yes, you *can* plan to use a certain sequence of moves (and might have to abandon it quickly depending on your opponent's moves). However, this scene would be much improved if Jordan had kept the names to one or two sets, and otherwise stuck to the stepping aside and slashing at thighs.

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