Songs for Daddy- Chapter 44: Opheliac (part 2/3)
Part 1
Chizue was sick a great deal still, more so after she started working. She did good work, her superiors often said, but she was always so ill and couldn’t interact with people on the level they would like. But they still wanted her around and as long as she was wanted, Chizue still had a job.
People.
Being a secretary made Chizue more people than she had in years. Chizue never grew close to anyone, but she had an amazing set of new faces to admire at home by herself in her room. Her little world was expanding as Dad had wished. Her fantasies never saw a reality and Chizue never found love like she wished to, but she knew it was there. Maybe, maybe one day she would find it.
Teru felt under the weather one day and was forced to go see Masaki right away. Fortunately Haruka’s paranoia saved his life as it eventually lead to a very real diagnosis of an equally real cancer. Unfortunately the treatment, though keeping Teru alive, was weakening him much more than ‘expected’. Upon falling ill and starting the battle, Teru decided he would see his daughter out into the world with a happy smile again. So another breakfast he brought up the subject of Chizue moving out once more.
“Who is going to take care of her when she gets a fever?” Haruka asked.
“A husband.” Teru answered, he’d already out plenty of thought into this.
“A husband…?” Haruka tasted the words on her lips.
“That way she can have a grandchild to take over the company.” Teru added absently. By this time the company had taken great importance to both Haruka and Teru. It was big, it needed to be taken care of.
“But who?” Haruka asked.
“My old friend Yuuya has a son named Youichi. He’s about Chizue’s age. Nice, sharp lad- very responsible. He’ll be able to take care of Chizue and the company.” Teru explained to his wife. He had put a lot of thought into his selection of husband for Chizue.
Haruka only smiled and agreed. She hadn’t met Youichi, but her husband never led her astray with his judge of character. Youichi would be perfect if Teru thought he was.
Chizue, having tasted being out of the house and working, realized that having Mom control everything was bad. She needed to get out and be herself so she saw this marriage as an opportunity to be free. Free to play in the sun with people again.
When she first saw Youichi she found him shocking. His hair was bleach blond and eyes were startling green shards. Wicked, pointy ears and sharp teeth completed the unorthodox look. Beyond that initial shock of how he looked, there was the way he carried himself. Hiruma Youichi was a man that was always in control and he had regrets about being there in the room that day.
Chizue decided that overall, she didn’t like him. He wasn’t her prince charming, he was just a means to an end and seemed nice enough that he would probably take her to the hospital or feed her if she was sick. It was only a small comfort to Chizue when she saw that he thought the same of her.
The plan was to not have children or interact beyond the occasional shared meal or making sure the other was not underfoot when there were guests. Ironically Chizue found herself interacting more with Hiruma’s things than Hiruma himself. This was mostly due to the fact that Hiruma Youichi was a disorganized slob when it came to his personal things in his personal space. Chizue did his laundry to keep it from stinking up her home (and to keep herself from contracting god-only-knows-what that grows in sweaty football clothes). She also found him eating anything in the kitchen, regardless of whether or not it was his purchase.
In short, Hiruma Youichi was a horrible roommate.
Chizue didn’t know how to express this annoyance of his behavior back at him, mostly because Hiruma wasn’t about to confront and when he was she didn’t feel like it was a good time to bring it up. Shared meals were almost always conducted in silence. If she tired to talk to him when he was on his computer or watching a football game the resulting lecture was never made it worth the trouble, so she just suffered in silence.
On the day of their first wedding anniversary, a day Chizue and Hiruma didn’t even bother to acknowledge, Chizue came home to see Hiruma at the television doing something football related again. She stared at him, fascinated with how the glow from the screen lit up his face. He was concentrating, it made his face still and hard, yet elegant in a way she’d never seen on a person before.
“So,” Chizue began softly, “how does this game work?” What she wanted to know was why he was so obsessed with it, but she didn’t know that she should ask that. It wouldn’t be rude to ask it, well maybe it was. Chizue didn’t want to make him mad at her today.
Hiruma blew out a large bubble of gum as he turned his gaze away from the television and onto her. One thin, elegant eyebrow had been raised and a mild curiosity was placed across his face.
Chizue said nothing, her expression calm and her head cocked to the side. She waited for an answer. He would tell her eventually, maybe. Was she not worth talking to? Some people at work thought so.
The bubble of gum popped and Hiruma wordlessly invited her to sit. With an equal lack of words Chizue took a seat on the other side of the couch, leaving a large space between them.
“It’s a sport,” Hiruma began, “with teams of 11 men.” He then launched into an explanation of all the rules, the positions, and the tactics. Hiruma also mentioned that he played and was a quarterback.
Chizue said nothing the entire time, but she did listen and silently memorize what he said. Hiruma was so much more animated than she had ever seen him. He was alive in a way she had never been because of his love of football.
She found it beautiful.
“Any fucking questions?” Hiruma asked her. He hadn’t bothered to look at Chizue much; he’d just explained the sport and showed it to her on the screen. Chizue was the housemate he hardly ever saw or spoke to. She was an awkward, timid girl. Maybe living without her mother for a year gave her the courage to talk to him?
“No.” Chizue answered. “Thank you.” She left the room to go close herself in hers.
Why? Because she’d been struck and was gasping in amazement. Her husband, this discrete annoyance in her life, was beautiful, alive. He was amazing and smart, clever and witty. She’d never seen it before, those amazing features of his weren’t surprising or scary anymore, they were just part of his strange mystique.
Chizue held a hand to her borrowed heart and smiled.
She found love.
Hiruma had watched her leave and pondered in silence. His wife, there was something about her behind that timid exterior. He couldn’t guess what it was since he hadn’t bothered to do any research on her and his gut told him he was better off not knowing. Still, they were married. Maybe he should get to know her a bit better than this….
Not really knowing how to love any other way but than at a distance, Chizue loved her husband from afar. She made him lunches now, did his laundry and cleaning with a smile. Whenever he was home she’d watch him discreetly, watching him make strategies, blackmail his slaves, or look over the books for his company. At night she’d imagine him beside her, in her little private world full of her childhood toys and friends. Sometimes, if Chizue felt daring and knew Hiruma was extra tired, she’d peek into his room and watch him sleep a little bit.
Because if she pulled him close, he’d break and hurt her. Mom said it was so. Hiruma was far too beautiful in mind and body to break.
Chizue also made a small change, instead of sharing silence over breakfast she’d ask about his friends, his life. The fact Hiruma never inquired the same from her never bothered her. She was only happy and fixated, discretely fixated, on his answers.
Hiruma had been confused the day Chizue started talking to him. She was coming out and asking him about himself. Being careful with his answers, Hiruma tried to guard himself away from the interrogation. He did not ask return the questions because he didn’t want to have her find something in common with him. It was his gut telling him this but from what he did know of her there wasn’t much there to see.
“So who is Anezaki Mamori?” Chizue asked innocently one morning.
Hiruma’s expression changed dramatically. Normally it would have stayed calm and maybe slightly pleased, but this expression was different. His eyes lit up and an enormous, brilliant smile spread across his face. For once he wasn’t looking at his food, but away into the distance, at something unseen.
“A friend.” Hiruma answered, not using the word fucking. “She was the fucking manager of my team in high school and in college.”
Chizue wasn’t a fool, though the expression was new and clearly unconscious, she knew what it was. She’d seen it on television, she’d read about it in books. Hiruma was in love, completely and fully in love with this Anezaki Mamori.
“Ah.” Chizue commented, her expression grew guarded and unreadable. Inside she was furious, red with jealousy. Even Anezaki had a fucking nickname! Chizue was just ‘you’, she wasn’t even fucking wife!
Hiruma was hers right? She’d married him! …No, they had agreed to divorce if they had found someone and clearly he had and was far too in love with this woman to even bat an eye at Chizue or notice her jealously and distress across the kitchen table.
That evening Chizue was frowning and growling. Should she try and bring him close, break him but keep him from this Anezaki girl? Or should she let him go and watch him stay in love and become beautiful because of this other woman? Which was more fair to him? Which was more fair to her? Should she see if he loved her at all? How would she test him?
Chizue called her mother.
Saburo’s advice had been to get his attention.
Chizue consulted her trusted doctor and friend, Masaki. He’d always taken such good care of her and given her such good advice.
Masaki had offered her drugs, more specifically proven aphrodisiacs to arouse some sexual tension in her husband.
“Just put it in his dinner, for a few nights and offer to rid him of it with some sex.” Masaki advised her. Chizue took that advice to heart and one morning she offered to rid her husband of his hard on from hell with some sex.
Hiruma had been, well, startled and surprised by her actions. Chizue was a fairly unreadable when it came to her expressions and when she did express her personal feelings he wasn’t around to see it. To him this offer of hers had come out of nowhere. At first he had said that he didn’t need any sex right now, thank you. Thankfully Chizue didn’t comment that he was currently hard as hell and seemed to understand that he needed more time before he just jumped into her bed.
Because the question had been so sudden and thrown him into such confusion, Hiruma didn’t see the burning lust on Chizue’s face. He didn’t see how that lust made her hold her silence that morning when Hiruma said he didn’t need her offer right then. Chizue knew he would come to need her, which was enough to have her keep her peace. It was only a matter of time before he tried it. Masaki said he’d suggest the notion to Hiruma should he stop by looking for medical attention. His future in her bed was now certain.
After an agonizing night of wet dreams that were tormenting him with Chizue’s face, Hiruma caved in and accepted the offer but with a condition. Chizue happily agreed to the massive amount of birth control he wanted to use, she hadn’t wanted to have a child mostly because she didn’t know what she’d do with one. There was no way Hiruma was going to let her get pregnant because there was no way he was going to attempt to deal with a child in this coexistence sort of relationship they had.
Since Hiruma finally agreed, Chizue did some research to really, really draw his attention to her and her love. Hiruma didn’t quite expect her to act almost like a porn star in bed and was even more confused by what possessed her to act that way. It had been wonderful sex, felt great and corrected any of his previous fantasies and ignorance on the subject. But that night had been awkward, Chizue was trying too hard to make him enjoy it with no motive he could find….
For Chizue that night had just been a dream come true. Watching Hiruma moan and quiver with pleasure had been immensely satisfactory. She watched his green eyes light up with the orgasm and found herself screaming along with him. In every spare moment she had after that night, she recalled it, him and was happy. But she had to know, what did he want? How was he thinking about it? Did he desire her?
Waiting several days of careful stalking and observing, Chizue finally decided to take her facts and interpret them to see if any of her burning questions had answers.
Hiruma had been, unsettled and shocked by the experience. He’d been driven closer to Anezaki than he had been before and further away from Chizue. He was confused and upset and he certainly didn’t want anything to do with that again.
In short, he was starting to break.
Chizue felt horrible and the resulting guilt was enough to keep her from attempting it again for a while. But her jealously, her ugly, unseen jealously grew stronger and darker as time passed. Especially since Hiruma was seeking comfort from Anezaki because of the experience.
Hiruma was going to be broken, Chizue decided, her guilt was gone and the jealously had won out.
Part 3
Chizue was sick a great deal still, more so after she started working. She did good work, her superiors often said, but she was always so ill and couldn’t interact with people on the level they would like. But they still wanted her around and as long as she was wanted, Chizue still had a job.
People.
Being a secretary made Chizue more people than she had in years. Chizue never grew close to anyone, but she had an amazing set of new faces to admire at home by herself in her room. Her little world was expanding as Dad had wished. Her fantasies never saw a reality and Chizue never found love like she wished to, but she knew it was there. Maybe, maybe one day she would find it.
Teru felt under the weather one day and was forced to go see Masaki right away. Fortunately Haruka’s paranoia saved his life as it eventually lead to a very real diagnosis of an equally real cancer. Unfortunately the treatment, though keeping Teru alive, was weakening him much more than ‘expected’. Upon falling ill and starting the battle, Teru decided he would see his daughter out into the world with a happy smile again. So another breakfast he brought up the subject of Chizue moving out once more.
“Who is going to take care of her when she gets a fever?” Haruka asked.
“A husband.” Teru answered, he’d already out plenty of thought into this.
“A husband…?” Haruka tasted the words on her lips.
“That way she can have a grandchild to take over the company.” Teru added absently. By this time the company had taken great importance to both Haruka and Teru. It was big, it needed to be taken care of.
“But who?” Haruka asked.
“My old friend Yuuya has a son named Youichi. He’s about Chizue’s age. Nice, sharp lad- very responsible. He’ll be able to take care of Chizue and the company.” Teru explained to his wife. He had put a lot of thought into his selection of husband for Chizue.
Haruka only smiled and agreed. She hadn’t met Youichi, but her husband never led her astray with his judge of character. Youichi would be perfect if Teru thought he was.
Chizue, having tasted being out of the house and working, realized that having Mom control everything was bad. She needed to get out and be herself so she saw this marriage as an opportunity to be free. Free to play in the sun with people again.
When she first saw Youichi she found him shocking. His hair was bleach blond and eyes were startling green shards. Wicked, pointy ears and sharp teeth completed the unorthodox look. Beyond that initial shock of how he looked, there was the way he carried himself. Hiruma Youichi was a man that was always in control and he had regrets about being there in the room that day.
Chizue decided that overall, she didn’t like him. He wasn’t her prince charming, he was just a means to an end and seemed nice enough that he would probably take her to the hospital or feed her if she was sick. It was only a small comfort to Chizue when she saw that he thought the same of her.
The plan was to not have children or interact beyond the occasional shared meal or making sure the other was not underfoot when there were guests. Ironically Chizue found herself interacting more with Hiruma’s things than Hiruma himself. This was mostly due to the fact that Hiruma Youichi was a disorganized slob when it came to his personal things in his personal space. Chizue did his laundry to keep it from stinking up her home (and to keep herself from contracting god-only-knows-what that grows in sweaty football clothes). She also found him eating anything in the kitchen, regardless of whether or not it was his purchase.
In short, Hiruma Youichi was a horrible roommate.
Chizue didn’t know how to express this annoyance of his behavior back at him, mostly because Hiruma wasn’t about to confront and when he was she didn’t feel like it was a good time to bring it up. Shared meals were almost always conducted in silence. If she tired to talk to him when he was on his computer or watching a football game the resulting lecture was never made it worth the trouble, so she just suffered in silence.
On the day of their first wedding anniversary, a day Chizue and Hiruma didn’t even bother to acknowledge, Chizue came home to see Hiruma at the television doing something football related again. She stared at him, fascinated with how the glow from the screen lit up his face. He was concentrating, it made his face still and hard, yet elegant in a way she’d never seen on a person before.
“So,” Chizue began softly, “how does this game work?” What she wanted to know was why he was so obsessed with it, but she didn’t know that she should ask that. It wouldn’t be rude to ask it, well maybe it was. Chizue didn’t want to make him mad at her today.
Hiruma blew out a large bubble of gum as he turned his gaze away from the television and onto her. One thin, elegant eyebrow had been raised and a mild curiosity was placed across his face.
Chizue said nothing, her expression calm and her head cocked to the side. She waited for an answer. He would tell her eventually, maybe. Was she not worth talking to? Some people at work thought so.
The bubble of gum popped and Hiruma wordlessly invited her to sit. With an equal lack of words Chizue took a seat on the other side of the couch, leaving a large space between them.
“It’s a sport,” Hiruma began, “with teams of 11 men.” He then launched into an explanation of all the rules, the positions, and the tactics. Hiruma also mentioned that he played and was a quarterback.
Chizue said nothing the entire time, but she did listen and silently memorize what he said. Hiruma was so much more animated than she had ever seen him. He was alive in a way she had never been because of his love of football.
She found it beautiful.
“Any fucking questions?” Hiruma asked her. He hadn’t bothered to look at Chizue much; he’d just explained the sport and showed it to her on the screen. Chizue was the housemate he hardly ever saw or spoke to. She was an awkward, timid girl. Maybe living without her mother for a year gave her the courage to talk to him?
“No.” Chizue answered. “Thank you.” She left the room to go close herself in hers.
Why? Because she’d been struck and was gasping in amazement. Her husband, this discrete annoyance in her life, was beautiful, alive. He was amazing and smart, clever and witty. She’d never seen it before, those amazing features of his weren’t surprising or scary anymore, they were just part of his strange mystique.
Chizue held a hand to her borrowed heart and smiled.
She found love.
Hiruma had watched her leave and pondered in silence. His wife, there was something about her behind that timid exterior. He couldn’t guess what it was since he hadn’t bothered to do any research on her and his gut told him he was better off not knowing. Still, they were married. Maybe he should get to know her a bit better than this….
Not really knowing how to love any other way but than at a distance, Chizue loved her husband from afar. She made him lunches now, did his laundry and cleaning with a smile. Whenever he was home she’d watch him discreetly, watching him make strategies, blackmail his slaves, or look over the books for his company. At night she’d imagine him beside her, in her little private world full of her childhood toys and friends. Sometimes, if Chizue felt daring and knew Hiruma was extra tired, she’d peek into his room and watch him sleep a little bit.
Because if she pulled him close, he’d break and hurt her. Mom said it was so. Hiruma was far too beautiful in mind and body to break.
Chizue also made a small change, instead of sharing silence over breakfast she’d ask about his friends, his life. The fact Hiruma never inquired the same from her never bothered her. She was only happy and fixated, discretely fixated, on his answers.
Hiruma had been confused the day Chizue started talking to him. She was coming out and asking him about himself. Being careful with his answers, Hiruma tried to guard himself away from the interrogation. He did not ask return the questions because he didn’t want to have her find something in common with him. It was his gut telling him this but from what he did know of her there wasn’t much there to see.
“So who is Anezaki Mamori?” Chizue asked innocently one morning.
Hiruma’s expression changed dramatically. Normally it would have stayed calm and maybe slightly pleased, but this expression was different. His eyes lit up and an enormous, brilliant smile spread across his face. For once he wasn’t looking at his food, but away into the distance, at something unseen.
“A friend.” Hiruma answered, not using the word fucking. “She was the fucking manager of my team in high school and in college.”
Chizue wasn’t a fool, though the expression was new and clearly unconscious, she knew what it was. She’d seen it on television, she’d read about it in books. Hiruma was in love, completely and fully in love with this Anezaki Mamori.
“Ah.” Chizue commented, her expression grew guarded and unreadable. Inside she was furious, red with jealousy. Even Anezaki had a fucking nickname! Chizue was just ‘you’, she wasn’t even fucking wife!
Hiruma was hers right? She’d married him! …No, they had agreed to divorce if they had found someone and clearly he had and was far too in love with this woman to even bat an eye at Chizue or notice her jealously and distress across the kitchen table.
That evening Chizue was frowning and growling. Should she try and bring him close, break him but keep him from this Anezaki girl? Or should she let him go and watch him stay in love and become beautiful because of this other woman? Which was more fair to him? Which was more fair to her? Should she see if he loved her at all? How would she test him?
Chizue called her mother.
Saburo’s advice had been to get his attention.
Chizue consulted her trusted doctor and friend, Masaki. He’d always taken such good care of her and given her such good advice.
Masaki had offered her drugs, more specifically proven aphrodisiacs to arouse some sexual tension in her husband.
“Just put it in his dinner, for a few nights and offer to rid him of it with some sex.” Masaki advised her. Chizue took that advice to heart and one morning she offered to rid her husband of his hard on from hell with some sex.
Hiruma had been, well, startled and surprised by her actions. Chizue was a fairly unreadable when it came to her expressions and when she did express her personal feelings he wasn’t around to see it. To him this offer of hers had come out of nowhere. At first he had said that he didn’t need any sex right now, thank you. Thankfully Chizue didn’t comment that he was currently hard as hell and seemed to understand that he needed more time before he just jumped into her bed.
Because the question had been so sudden and thrown him into such confusion, Hiruma didn’t see the burning lust on Chizue’s face. He didn’t see how that lust made her hold her silence that morning when Hiruma said he didn’t need her offer right then. Chizue knew he would come to need her, which was enough to have her keep her peace. It was only a matter of time before he tried it. Masaki said he’d suggest the notion to Hiruma should he stop by looking for medical attention. His future in her bed was now certain.
After an agonizing night of wet dreams that were tormenting him with Chizue’s face, Hiruma caved in and accepted the offer but with a condition. Chizue happily agreed to the massive amount of birth control he wanted to use, she hadn’t wanted to have a child mostly because she didn’t know what she’d do with one. There was no way Hiruma was going to let her get pregnant because there was no way he was going to attempt to deal with a child in this coexistence sort of relationship they had.
Since Hiruma finally agreed, Chizue did some research to really, really draw his attention to her and her love. Hiruma didn’t quite expect her to act almost like a porn star in bed and was even more confused by what possessed her to act that way. It had been wonderful sex, felt great and corrected any of his previous fantasies and ignorance on the subject. But that night had been awkward, Chizue was trying too hard to make him enjoy it with no motive he could find….
For Chizue that night had just been a dream come true. Watching Hiruma moan and quiver with pleasure had been immensely satisfactory. She watched his green eyes light up with the orgasm and found herself screaming along with him. In every spare moment she had after that night, she recalled it, him and was happy. But she had to know, what did he want? How was he thinking about it? Did he desire her?
Waiting several days of careful stalking and observing, Chizue finally decided to take her facts and interpret them to see if any of her burning questions had answers.
Hiruma had been, unsettled and shocked by the experience. He’d been driven closer to Anezaki than he had been before and further away from Chizue. He was confused and upset and he certainly didn’t want anything to do with that again.
In short, he was starting to break.
Chizue felt horrible and the resulting guilt was enough to keep her from attempting it again for a while. But her jealously, her ugly, unseen jealously grew stronger and darker as time passed. Especially since Hiruma was seeking comfort from Anezaki because of the experience.
Hiruma was going to be broken, Chizue decided, her guilt was gone and the jealously had won out.
Part 3