I lurch back from the liquor store, moaning "Braaaains" like one of those zombies in a Romero film. I always found it sort of funny that they craved human brains, rather than flesh
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you are right in that online solace is ineffectual, or at the very least, not enough. there are good people out there; you've met some at least virtually, but you discount their existence among the dross. yeah a lot of people suck, but a lot of people actually don't suck. I think maybe you might think about where you are going to get human contact and whether it is likely to be the best avenues, and also whether you let the assholes shine so brightly in your universe that everyone else dims out.
you might think about your standards as well. do you hold yourself to impossibly high standards? what about everyone else? nobody's perfect, but there are plenty who sincerely mean to be compassionate and considerate. I've met a handful and they are my chosen family. the question I guess is where do you think you can find people who might have some understanding of where you are coming from.
ahh, dude. you're doing the fullblown PTSD thing. I've been there several times. Don't let people talk down or call you a whiner, this is you going through hell. and yeah, "talk therapy" usually doesn't help people like us either. I've found effexor and/or wellbutrin helpful in keeping the worst of it off. see if you can get hold of some, they'll give you samples if you can't afford it. rising above that kind of abuse as a kid is painful as hell and sometimes seems impossible. if there's even one single thing you want in the world more than death, focus on that thing.
I'm used to the cheap shots: "whiner", "drama queen", etc. All I can say is talk is cheap, and comments can be deleted. At least I can sit here and write about my pain, which is more I can say about them.
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you might think about your standards as well. do you hold yourself to impossibly high standards? what about everyone else? nobody's perfect, but there are plenty who sincerely mean to be compassionate and considerate. I've met a handful and they are my chosen family. the question I guess is where do you think you can find people who might have some understanding of where you are coming from.
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I've been there several times.
Don't let people talk down or call you a whiner, this is you going through hell. and yeah, "talk therapy" usually doesn't help people like us either. I've found effexor and/or wellbutrin helpful in keeping the worst of it off.
see if you can get hold of some, they'll give you samples if you can't afford it.
rising above that kind of abuse as a kid is painful as hell and sometimes seems impossible. if there's even one single thing you want in the world more than death, focus on that thing.
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Not everyone out there is bad.
I'm sorry you're hurting. I know how it feels.
I agree with your friend though. Wellbutrin or effexor might help you.
Hopefully so will an ear. If you ever need one, just leave me a message in my journal. I'm very honest, but I can be sympathetic.
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