do me a favor...

[bandit_art]

...don't ask me "what's wrong?" unless you really want to know what is wrong or what is on my mind or what is bothering me. it hurts my feelings when i try to tell you and you blow up because you don't understand...it makes me go numb and tell you "nothing is wrong" when there obviously is the next several times you ask

Comments

[weetzie_baby]

I HAAAAATE that so SO so much. I'm sorry someone is putting you through that hun. I find it helps when you use those lame communication techniques. I learned them in college lol. You make your "I feel..." statements or "When you say this, I feel". and you just try and come from a place of total neutrality. Just try and help the person feel that they aren't under any sort of attack and then this helps open up the lines of communication. And if all else fails, going to see a counselor together really helps.

[bandit_art]

the big problem is the lack of understanding...i have mental problems. the people who don't have them think they don't exist...i love the excuse of, "wow, then i should be totally {insert mental anguish here}!"

and i have tried those techniques. i hate having to tiptoe through my words and still risking an outlash. and that last tidbit crossed my mind, but dunno if the other party is willing...which makes me wonder what is the fucking point.

just gonna rely on "nothing's wrong" and crying myself to sleep like i do in between trying to express my down times. :( i don't need understanding...i don't need an explanation...i just need a certain someone to listen.

[weetzie_baby]

awww i'm sorry hun. :( If I was there i'd listen to you all day. *hugs*

grr, i hate when the techniques don't work. I suffer from the same problem with my father. He's terrible at communication and even worse at listening. And I think the fact that we're female and they're males makes a huge difference too because they just don't speak the same language, they really are different creatures.

You need to get your needs met and it sounds like you aren't, so another question would be is it worth it to continue the relationship with this person if they aren't willing to give you what you need? If it's like this now, it's just going to continue to get worse. I hope it's not your man because then that just opens up a big fat complicated messy can of worms.

[bandit_art]

yay for big fat complicated messy cans of worms!

most days, it doesn't feel like this. like, today...i'm not wiggin' out. not sure what my problem is. i do remember going through times like these with dave, too...i think it's me living without meds...i don't do too well without them anymore...blah...

all i know is i gots heartburn tonight, and it's killing me...

[wickedshadows]

Thank you for the recent post. I hope that you are doing well (aside from this post that is).
Since I had Abby, I have had another daughter. Elizabeth, and she was perfectly healthy when she was born. Strange how things like that happen. She just turned 3 in the beginning of januray. Of course I think of Abby often! My life is very different now then it was then. The sun shines so much brighter these days! Thank you so much for thinking of me! And congrats on your bundle of joy! I hope everything goes well! :)

[bandit_art]

thank you. pregnancy is really friggin' hard. i keep thinking the women who enjoy it are nuts. of course, i am sure several don't have the disabilities i do that make it even more uncomfortable...thank you for well wishes, glad to know you are doing better!

[tourmalina]

I had this happen to me as well. I stayed with my sister for three months in her house and she would act like she wanted to communicate. But...when I told her what was really going on with me she reacted with anger. That was a big surprise to me, and I learned to just shut my mouth around her. Sorry you're going through this.

[bandit_art]

ty, i am dealing as best as i can...