No Man - Merlin/Arthur (gen, pre-slash)
Title: When He Does Not Grieve
Author: bandearg_rois
Word Count: ~500
Rating: PG
Warning: Character Death (Uther)
Summary: The night before the Coronation, Arthur and Merlin finally speak as equals.
Notes: This totally does not take into account Season 3... as i haven't seen it yet (it's downloading as I type, I swear!). It discusses the Season 2 finale, and is set about 5 years later. Also, this is unbetaed.
"Arthur." Merlin's voice is grave, quiet, and has a bit of a catch to it that's pretty surprising.
"Are you crying, Merlin? You didn't even like him!"
"I'm not crying for Uther. You once told me, a long time ago, that no man deserves tears. You now know that there are exceptions to that, don't you?"
"He was my father, Merlin. You cannot possibly understand!"
"Yes, I do. He was your father. He was not a nice man, he did a lot more harm than good, a lot of the time, but he did the best he could with what he had. He loved you to the end. As you did him. Your tears are not for the King, Arthur. They are for Uther, your father. Which is a whole different kettle of fish."
"You spoke of exceptions. What would you know of the exceptions?"
"Father, brother, dear friend... These are men you cry for, Arthur. I cried for Will, the closest I had to a brother, and I cried for... for Balinor. And I cry for you. I do not cry for Uther, who would have killed me many times over if given the chance. I cry for the man who cares so much for his people, for his family, and has no one to cry for him."
"Merlin..."
"I cry for you, Arthur. Because you are the dearest friend I've ever had, and you deserve these tears, will always deserve them."
"You cry for me, because you pity me?" He knew his voice was angry, and he couldn't help the bitterness.
"I do not cry out of pity, Arthur. I cry out of sympathy, out of empathy. At least I am able to give you what I did not have."
"What do you mean?" And the tears were falling again, as fast as he could dash them away, and suddenly Merlin was holding him, soothing words in a foreign language rolling off his tongue. "Merlin, what do you mean?" he finally asked again, when he'd gotten some form of control.
"Years ago, you told me no man deserved my tears. Now you know differently." And suddenly, Arthur wanted to choke his servant, his friend, for being so deliberately obtuse. But then his mind filtered through what Merlin had said, had been saying, and also what he didn't say.
"Balinor... he was your father?" he asked stupidly, and at Merlin's solemn nod, he suddenly felt more terrible, like he'd let Merlin down in some fundamental way, been a bad friend.
"I'd only just found out, myself. Gaius told me, and I proved it, with Balinor. He died to save me, Arthur. He took a blade meant for me." And Merlin was crying harder, and so was he, as both of them cried for their fathers and each other, neither sure where one part of the sentiment ended and the next began.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Gwen found them later, tear-stained and asleep, curled around each other like children, and covered them before returning to her bed and Lady, knowing that the reign of Arthur Pendragon would be very different from that of his father.
End Notes: Okay, so this wasn't supposed to be quite like this, but I like it... and it was thinky and not porny and so I'm happy about it.
Author: bandearg_rois
Word Count: ~500
Rating: PG
Warning: Character Death (Uther)
Summary: The night before the Coronation, Arthur and Merlin finally speak as equals.
Notes: This totally does not take into account Season 3... as i haven't seen it yet (it's downloading as I type, I swear!). It discusses the Season 2 finale, and is set about 5 years later. Also, this is unbetaed.
"Arthur." Merlin's voice is grave, quiet, and has a bit of a catch to it that's pretty surprising.
"Are you crying, Merlin? You didn't even like him!"
"I'm not crying for Uther. You once told me, a long time ago, that no man deserves tears. You now know that there are exceptions to that, don't you?"
"He was my father, Merlin. You cannot possibly understand!"
"Yes, I do. He was your father. He was not a nice man, he did a lot more harm than good, a lot of the time, but he did the best he could with what he had. He loved you to the end. As you did him. Your tears are not for the King, Arthur. They are for Uther, your father. Which is a whole different kettle of fish."
"You spoke of exceptions. What would you know of the exceptions?"
"Father, brother, dear friend... These are men you cry for, Arthur. I cried for Will, the closest I had to a brother, and I cried for... for Balinor. And I cry for you. I do not cry for Uther, who would have killed me many times over if given the chance. I cry for the man who cares so much for his people, for his family, and has no one to cry for him."
"Merlin..."
"I cry for you, Arthur. Because you are the dearest friend I've ever had, and you deserve these tears, will always deserve them."
"You cry for me, because you pity me?" He knew his voice was angry, and he couldn't help the bitterness.
"I do not cry out of pity, Arthur. I cry out of sympathy, out of empathy. At least I am able to give you what I did not have."
"What do you mean?" And the tears were falling again, as fast as he could dash them away, and suddenly Merlin was holding him, soothing words in a foreign language rolling off his tongue. "Merlin, what do you mean?" he finally asked again, when he'd gotten some form of control.
"Years ago, you told me no man deserved my tears. Now you know differently." And suddenly, Arthur wanted to choke his servant, his friend, for being so deliberately obtuse. But then his mind filtered through what Merlin had said, had been saying, and also what he didn't say.
"Balinor... he was your father?" he asked stupidly, and at Merlin's solemn nod, he suddenly felt more terrible, like he'd let Merlin down in some fundamental way, been a bad friend.
"I'd only just found out, myself. Gaius told me, and I proved it, with Balinor. He died to save me, Arthur. He took a blade meant for me." And Merlin was crying harder, and so was he, as both of them cried for their fathers and each other, neither sure where one part of the sentiment ended and the next began.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Gwen found them later, tear-stained and asleep, curled around each other like children, and covered them before returning to her bed and Lady, knowing that the reign of Arthur Pendragon would be very different from that of his father.
End Notes: Okay, so this wasn't supposed to be quite like this, but I like it... and it was thinky and not porny and so I'm happy about it.