Love Light Gleams, a DEA Christmas Story
Title: Love Light Gleams
Author: bandearg_rois
Rating: R for non-descriptive sex
Warning: cursing... schmoop... ANGST! Lots of Angst, since they don't like being completely happy.
Summary: Part of the DEA-verse, though it can be read on its own, no explanations needed. It's Jim and Len's first Christmas as a married couple, and Jim's on assignment, undercover. But he manages to pull a deal to get home, though everything that can go wrong, obviously does, because of course his life can't be anything approaching normal.
Jim curses as he hangs his keys on the hook next to the front door of the house he's been set up in, wishing for the bowl that he's used to, that makes such a satisfying 'clang' when he throws his keys into it. It would definitely be more satisfying than gently hanging his keys. He throws his jacket violently instead, which doesn't help much, since a soft 'whump' isn't nearly so satisfying. He throws himself down on the couch, too, which is slightly more satisfying, since the couch is hard and doesn't have a lot of give. He's just gotten back from his check-in, in which he was told he won't be going back to San Diego any time soon. It's December 12, and he really, really wants to be in Len's arms for the Holidays. But of course, the world had it in for him, and he can't.
What's worse, it's their first Christmas together, and he's stuck in San Francisco. Working undercover with yet another drug-runner asshole who doesn't understand the holidays because he's an atheist. So no going home for Jim, even if he himself doesn't really care about the religious side of it all. He'd tried telling the man that his mother was sick, that he had to go see her, at least for Christmas, but the man was scarily insensitive and an asshole to boot, so that flew like a lead brick. He shakes his head, pushing that thought process away; He had another check-in on Christmas Eve, and 'Karu had promised to have Len there, so at least he'll be able to see him.
His phone rings, and he answers it without thinking, easily adopting the Brooklyn accent he's perfected for this job. "Yeah, Boss?"
"Julian, I've been thinking about your request to see your mother in San Diego..." He sits up quickly, irritation melting away like snow in the sun. "There's a man I need you to see on the 27th, but you may see her. I'll give you two weeks, through the New Year."
"Got it, Boss. When do I leave so I can book my ticket?"
"On the 23rd. I need you to take care of some things before you go." That meant someone was going to die, but for once, Jim can't bring himself to care about the body count. He'll get to be HOME for Christmas, and that's all that really matters.
"Understood. You need me tonight?"
"Nah, come in tomorrow at 2, and we'll talk about it then."
"Got it, Boss."
"Sleep well, Julian." When the man hangs up, Jim just about howls with glee, before dialing Len's number. His office number, though, since he's played it off that Len's his mother's doctor, giving him a reason to call every once in awhile, and also a reason to leave the house when not on a job.
"This is Dr. McCoy."
"Hey, Doc, it's Julian. How's my mom doing?"
"Um, she's doing well, Julian. Asks after you every day. Wants to know when you're coming to see her." Len's good at this, which Jim is eternally grateful for.
"Well, you can tell her I'll be home for Christmas after all, managed to get a couple weeks off of work." He hears Len's intake of breath, a sure sign that he's hiding a sob of relief, and is grateful that Len's got good enough control of himself not to let it out.
"That's good; it'll put her in much better spirits, I'm sure. Unfortunately, she's sleeping right now, or I'd let you talk to her."
"Sure, sure. I'll have plenty of time to talk to her when I get home. You'll be sure to tell her, right?"
"I will, Julian. It'll be good for her, and for you. You'll see she's not as bad off as you think, like I've been trying to tell you." That's their code for 'I miss you, but you need to be focused on your job, you crazy man.'
"I know you've tried to tell me, but she's my mother, I can't help it." And that's his answer: 'I miss you, too, and I promise I'm coming home to you, safe and sound, no matter what.'
"Well, I've got rounds to do, I'll talk to you in a few days, Julian."
"Thanks, Doc, talk to you soon." He hangs up reluctantly, scrubbing a hand down his face, once again thinking that maybe he's getting too old for this shit, that he should start taking a backseat in all of this, if only because he has Len now, and that changes everything. He decides it's time to take a shower and get some sleep, because he'll have a very full week of 'taking care of things', especially if the Boss wants it done before he goes. He's just getting too damned old for this shit.
A week later, he's finished all of his mopping up, but the Boss won't let him go early, oh no. The man invents little things for him to do, keeping him hopping until the day of, almost making him late for his flight. When he gets there, the plane is broken down, and of course, it being the season and all that, every other plane is ear-marked for somewhere, and all the rental cars, even the pieces of shit are rented out. His car for the job wouldn't work, since, of course, the Boss has GPSed it, and will know if he goes anywhere but the hospital... So he's stuck in an airport, most of the 23rd and part of the 24th, waiting on the plane to be fixed, constantly being bumped from Standby because he's just too damned nice not to give up his seat to the elderly and infirm wanting to see their grandchildren or their great-grandchildren or what have you.
By the time he gets to San Diego, it's almost 7 at night, and his car is not, for some reason, in the long-term lot, though he does figure out it wasn't stolen. He calls Len from his personal cell phone, which was left in a locker, but receives no answer, ditto for 'Karu, Pav, Spock, and Nyota. They must be having a party or something, which depresses him even more. He calls the precinct and manages to get a car to come get him, but when they get to his house, it's empty and dark, and he waves the cop away. Len'll be home sooner or later, and he can wait as long as he has to.
By 11:30, he's frantic, having tried again and again to call all of them, even Pike and Archer, who are probably at the same party. He pulls out the pint of ice-cream kept in the freezer, that has obviously been replaced since he left, given the festive 'ginger-bread' flavor, and settles down to watch 'It's a Wonderful Life', the most depressing Christmas show he's ever seen, but not-too-surprisingly the only thing on tv worth watching, getting ready to start crying, something he hasn't done in years, because dammit, he pulled a lot of strings to get here, and it seems he's not even going to be able to spend the time with his husband.
He must have fallen asleep in front of the tv, because when he wakes up to a key in the door, the ice-cream is half-melted and the clock reads 2:30. He blinks muzzily, trying to decide whether being angry will actually do any good as the sound of keys hitting the bowl hits him, shatters something inside him he didn't even know he had. It's not until Len's standing in the doorway that he even realizes he's stood up, and it isn't until he has six-feet of Southern male wrapped around him that he realizes he's crying, again.
"Oh God, Jim, I'm so damn sorry, i shoulda been here, I'm so fuckin' sorry," are the words breathed into his neck, branded into his lips, and he can't even respond, so beyond emotional that it doesn't even matter, holding onto Len like he'll never see him again, being held just as tightly.
"It's okay, it's okay, Len, I promise it's okay," he hears from a distance, realizing it's his voice, his turn to do the breathing and branding, his turn to comfort, and for some reason that doesn't sit well with him, so he pulls away, retreats into that old shell he'd had when he first met Len, behind smiling eyes and laughing lips that hide everything he wants to bare. "You're here now, and that's what matters. I'm here, we're here, and it's Christmas. I told you I'd be home, didn't I?"
"Don't shut down on me, Jim, I'm so fuckin' sorry, there was an accident on the highway, and I just got out of surgery, please, please don't shut me out." Of course, 3 years of being together, 8 months of that being married, means that Len can see through his masks, his shells, see all of him as if he's not even trying to hide.
"But what about everyone else?"
"They had a party, I guess. I think i was supposed to go, but then there was the accident... When did you get in?"
"9."
"Oh, fuck, Jim, I'm so goddamned sorry." And then Len's kissing him, which is a definite improvement on the constant apologies, since both of their jobs don't just stop for holidays, and Jim knows that his husband saved someone's life tonight, gave someone back their family member, and he can never stay mad at him, not for long at least, and every bit of anger in him bleeds out and dies away with that kiss, gone like it'd never been, and he's kissing back, desperately, needing Len in a way that he hasn't needed him in months, to make him feel clean again, whole, and Len obliges, draws him into the bedroom, lays him down gently like he's hurt and needs tending, being so tender that Jim almost cries again, falls in love with him all over again.
Their lovemaking is slow and gentle, neither of them more than sighing as their orgasms sweep over them, dragging them into sleep. And that's okay with Jim, because as he goes under, with Len wrapped around him like a human security blanket, he's home, and when Len murmurs 'Merry Christmas' in his sleepy voice, Jim can't think of a single bad thing about the entire experience, because he's got everything he needs.
-FIN-
This was supposed to be a little shorter, and more schmoop, less angst, more comedy, more porn, but it's Yule, and my angst bunny hates the holiday and so decided to torture me. Also, I really need to sleep at some point in order to be useful to anyone.
So this is my Yule-gift to everyone, not nearly as awesome as a Yule-Log, but I can only do so much! :D
Author: bandearg_rois
Rating: R for non-descriptive sex
Warning: cursing... schmoop... ANGST! Lots of Angst, since they don't like being completely happy.
Summary: Part of the DEA-verse, though it can be read on its own, no explanations needed. It's Jim and Len's first Christmas as a married couple, and Jim's on assignment, undercover. But he manages to pull a deal to get home, though everything that can go wrong, obviously does, because of course his life can't be anything approaching normal.
Jim curses as he hangs his keys on the hook next to the front door of the house he's been set up in, wishing for the bowl that he's used to, that makes such a satisfying 'clang' when he throws his keys into it. It would definitely be more satisfying than gently hanging his keys. He throws his jacket violently instead, which doesn't help much, since a soft 'whump' isn't nearly so satisfying. He throws himself down on the couch, too, which is slightly more satisfying, since the couch is hard and doesn't have a lot of give. He's just gotten back from his check-in, in which he was told he won't be going back to San Diego any time soon. It's December 12, and he really, really wants to be in Len's arms for the Holidays. But of course, the world had it in for him, and he can't.
What's worse, it's their first Christmas together, and he's stuck in San Francisco. Working undercover with yet another drug-runner asshole who doesn't understand the holidays because he's an atheist. So no going home for Jim, even if he himself doesn't really care about the religious side of it all. He'd tried telling the man that his mother was sick, that he had to go see her, at least for Christmas, but the man was scarily insensitive and an asshole to boot, so that flew like a lead brick. He shakes his head, pushing that thought process away; He had another check-in on Christmas Eve, and 'Karu had promised to have Len there, so at least he'll be able to see him.
His phone rings, and he answers it without thinking, easily adopting the Brooklyn accent he's perfected for this job. "Yeah, Boss?"
"Julian, I've been thinking about your request to see your mother in San Diego..." He sits up quickly, irritation melting away like snow in the sun. "There's a man I need you to see on the 27th, but you may see her. I'll give you two weeks, through the New Year."
"Got it, Boss. When do I leave so I can book my ticket?"
"On the 23rd. I need you to take care of some things before you go." That meant someone was going to die, but for once, Jim can't bring himself to care about the body count. He'll get to be HOME for Christmas, and that's all that really matters.
"Understood. You need me tonight?"
"Nah, come in tomorrow at 2, and we'll talk about it then."
"Got it, Boss."
"Sleep well, Julian." When the man hangs up, Jim just about howls with glee, before dialing Len's number. His office number, though, since he's played it off that Len's his mother's doctor, giving him a reason to call every once in awhile, and also a reason to leave the house when not on a job.
"This is Dr. McCoy."
"Hey, Doc, it's Julian. How's my mom doing?"
"Um, she's doing well, Julian. Asks after you every day. Wants to know when you're coming to see her." Len's good at this, which Jim is eternally grateful for.
"Well, you can tell her I'll be home for Christmas after all, managed to get a couple weeks off of work." He hears Len's intake of breath, a sure sign that he's hiding a sob of relief, and is grateful that Len's got good enough control of himself not to let it out.
"That's good; it'll put her in much better spirits, I'm sure. Unfortunately, she's sleeping right now, or I'd let you talk to her."
"Sure, sure. I'll have plenty of time to talk to her when I get home. You'll be sure to tell her, right?"
"I will, Julian. It'll be good for her, and for you. You'll see she's not as bad off as you think, like I've been trying to tell you." That's their code for 'I miss you, but you need to be focused on your job, you crazy man.'
"I know you've tried to tell me, but she's my mother, I can't help it." And that's his answer: 'I miss you, too, and I promise I'm coming home to you, safe and sound, no matter what.'
"Well, I've got rounds to do, I'll talk to you in a few days, Julian."
"Thanks, Doc, talk to you soon." He hangs up reluctantly, scrubbing a hand down his face, once again thinking that maybe he's getting too old for this shit, that he should start taking a backseat in all of this, if only because he has Len now, and that changes everything. He decides it's time to take a shower and get some sleep, because he'll have a very full week of 'taking care of things', especially if the Boss wants it done before he goes. He's just getting too damned old for this shit.
A week later, he's finished all of his mopping up, but the Boss won't let him go early, oh no. The man invents little things for him to do, keeping him hopping until the day of, almost making him late for his flight. When he gets there, the plane is broken down, and of course, it being the season and all that, every other plane is ear-marked for somewhere, and all the rental cars, even the pieces of shit are rented out. His car for the job wouldn't work, since, of course, the Boss has GPSed it, and will know if he goes anywhere but the hospital... So he's stuck in an airport, most of the 23rd and part of the 24th, waiting on the plane to be fixed, constantly being bumped from Standby because he's just too damned nice not to give up his seat to the elderly and infirm wanting to see their grandchildren or their great-grandchildren or what have you.
By the time he gets to San Diego, it's almost 7 at night, and his car is not, for some reason, in the long-term lot, though he does figure out it wasn't stolen. He calls Len from his personal cell phone, which was left in a locker, but receives no answer, ditto for 'Karu, Pav, Spock, and Nyota. They must be having a party or something, which depresses him even more. He calls the precinct and manages to get a car to come get him, but when they get to his house, it's empty and dark, and he waves the cop away. Len'll be home sooner or later, and he can wait as long as he has to.
By 11:30, he's frantic, having tried again and again to call all of them, even Pike and Archer, who are probably at the same party. He pulls out the pint of ice-cream kept in the freezer, that has obviously been replaced since he left, given the festive 'ginger-bread' flavor, and settles down to watch 'It's a Wonderful Life', the most depressing Christmas show he's ever seen, but not-too-surprisingly the only thing on tv worth watching, getting ready to start crying, something he hasn't done in years, because dammit, he pulled a lot of strings to get here, and it seems he's not even going to be able to spend the time with his husband.
He must have fallen asleep in front of the tv, because when he wakes up to a key in the door, the ice-cream is half-melted and the clock reads 2:30. He blinks muzzily, trying to decide whether being angry will actually do any good as the sound of keys hitting the bowl hits him, shatters something inside him he didn't even know he had. It's not until Len's standing in the doorway that he even realizes he's stood up, and it isn't until he has six-feet of Southern male wrapped around him that he realizes he's crying, again.
"Oh God, Jim, I'm so damn sorry, i shoulda been here, I'm so fuckin' sorry," are the words breathed into his neck, branded into his lips, and he can't even respond, so beyond emotional that it doesn't even matter, holding onto Len like he'll never see him again, being held just as tightly.
"It's okay, it's okay, Len, I promise it's okay," he hears from a distance, realizing it's his voice, his turn to do the breathing and branding, his turn to comfort, and for some reason that doesn't sit well with him, so he pulls away, retreats into that old shell he'd had when he first met Len, behind smiling eyes and laughing lips that hide everything he wants to bare. "You're here now, and that's what matters. I'm here, we're here, and it's Christmas. I told you I'd be home, didn't I?"
"Don't shut down on me, Jim, I'm so fuckin' sorry, there was an accident on the highway, and I just got out of surgery, please, please don't shut me out." Of course, 3 years of being together, 8 months of that being married, means that Len can see through his masks, his shells, see all of him as if he's not even trying to hide.
"But what about everyone else?"
"They had a party, I guess. I think i was supposed to go, but then there was the accident... When did you get in?"
"9."
"Oh, fuck, Jim, I'm so goddamned sorry." And then Len's kissing him, which is a definite improvement on the constant apologies, since both of their jobs don't just stop for holidays, and Jim knows that his husband saved someone's life tonight, gave someone back their family member, and he can never stay mad at him, not for long at least, and every bit of anger in him bleeds out and dies away with that kiss, gone like it'd never been, and he's kissing back, desperately, needing Len in a way that he hasn't needed him in months, to make him feel clean again, whole, and Len obliges, draws him into the bedroom, lays him down gently like he's hurt and needs tending, being so tender that Jim almost cries again, falls in love with him all over again.
Their lovemaking is slow and gentle, neither of them more than sighing as their orgasms sweep over them, dragging them into sleep. And that's okay with Jim, because as he goes under, with Len wrapped around him like a human security blanket, he's home, and when Len murmurs 'Merry Christmas' in his sleepy voice, Jim can't think of a single bad thing about the entire experience, because he's got everything he needs.
-FIN-
This was supposed to be a little shorter, and more schmoop, less angst, more comedy, more porn, but it's Yule, and my angst bunny hates the holiday and so decided to torture me. Also, I really need to sleep at some point in order to be useful to anyone.
So this is my Yule-gift to everyone, not nearly as awesome as a Yule-Log, but I can only do so much! :D