Fic: Now and Always: Aragorn/Legolas: NC-17
Title: Now and Always
Author: Eirien Rhovan
Pairing: Aragorn/Legolas
Rating: NC-17
Summary: PWP. Legolas is troubled. Aragorn thinks he knows why.
Warnings: Angst. Sap.
Beta: The wonderful siochan *hugs*
Disclaimer: The characters and Middle Earth belong to Tolkien.
Feedback: Please.
Authors Note: This has been sitting as a WIP on my hard drive for a while. My thanks to loyaldreamer and jasmineskie for their support and for being my first readers of this in its early stages.
Aragorn watched with troubled eyes as Legolas slowly made his way across the clearing and disappeared into the trees. On any other night he would have followed. He would have made his way through the treetops to Legolas’ borrowed talan and spent the night with him there, finding peace in each other’s arms. But not tonight, things were different. Legolas no longer wanted to share his bed with Aragorn and only exchanged with him the blandest of courtesies during the day before finding an excuse to be elsewhere.
And so it had been since Gandalf’s death.
A hand clapped down on Aragorn’s shoulder. “Aragorn.”
“Haldir, mellon-nin,” Aragorn smiled as he turned to face his friend.
“Orophin and I are opening another bottle of miruvor. Would you care to join us, my friend?”
Aragorn looked at the empty cup in his hand and wondered how long he had been standing there, not drinking, while he watched Legolas. An hour? Two? He thought about Haldir’s offer for a moment, but an image flashed through his mind of Legolas’ back, retreating into the dark. Legolas had not even come to bid him goodnight, and Aragorn felt a sudden weariness envelop him. “Thank you, Haldir, but I think I will seek my bed. Tomorrow, perhaps?”
Aragorn saw the look of disappointment on Haldir’s face and averted his eyes. He had been friends with Haldir and his brothers for many years, as had Legolas, and Aragorn would have liked to have spent some more time with them, but his heart was too heavy. His grief for Gandalf was still raw, and although he was still here, still alive, Aragorn knew he must also somehow face the loss of Legolas. He simply needed some time alone to come to terms with that.
“Tomorrow, then,” Haldir replied softly, then, “May I walk with you?”
Unable to refuse without appearing discourteous, Aragorn nodded, and then placed his cup on the nearest trestle table. As they walked slowly to the pavilion where Aragorn slept with the rest of the Fellowship they spoke in soft tones of the preparations that must be made before they departed Lothlorien, of the reports coming in from Celeborn’s scouts.
“You remain with the Fellowship while Legolas sleeps in the treetops?”
Aragorn was a little startled at the abruptness of Haldir’s query. Being a good friend to them both, Haldir of course knew that he and Legolas were lovers, but Aragorn was surprised all the same and it showed on his face.
“Forgive me, I do not mean to pry, Aragorn. I am merely concerned. You are both discontent and I know you are mourning the loss of Gandalf. Now is the time you should be seeking strength and comfort from each other.”
Aragorn could not hold back a short, mirthless laugh. “I very much doubt if Legolas would find comfort from being near me at present.”
“I do not understand...”
Aragorn stopped walking, and sat on a nearby seat with his face in his hands, his shoulders slumped over in seeming defeat. Haldir slowly took the place next to his friend, for a long moment the soft nighttime sound of the Elvish city peacefully floating on the warm air was the only thing breaking the silence. Eventually Aragorn lifted his head and looked at him. There were no tears on his face, but Haldir was concerned nonetheless at the anguish he saw in Aragorn’s eyes.
“He holds me responsible, Haldir… for Gandalf’s death…”
“Aragorn, I am certain that is not so. No one holds you respons…”
“He does. You were not there, Haldir. You did not see his face when we stood outside the gates of Khaza Dum. The utterly uncomprehending expression marring his features… I will never forget it. It haunts me… as if he was saying ‘how could you have let this happen?’… And who can fault him for that, Haldir? I do not, for I blame myself also.”
“Aragorn, you must listen to me. I have heard the account of Gandalf’s fall. I know you could have nothing to prevent it. As does Legolas. You mis-read his thoughts… I am certain of it.”
“Then why does he avoid me?” As he suspected, Haldir did not have an answer for him and Aragorn rested against the back of the seat with a sigh. “I have been through it a hundred times in my mind, Haldir. Of all the different paths we might have taken… and in the end it comes down to the fact that I did nothing. I watched Gandalf fight the Balrog. I watched him fall into the abyss and I did nothing.”
Haldir looked at Aragorn in growing alarm. “Have you at least spoken to Legolas of this?”
“No. And I will not. He has enough to bear as it is,” Aragorn stood suddenly and when Haldir followed turned to face him. “I am sorry, Haldir. I do not wish to discuss this further. I will find a way to lead the Fellowship, to bear the loss of Gandalf as best I can… and perhaps… perhaps in time Legolas will find it in him to forgive me.”
With that he turned on his heel and Haldir was left to watch as he strode away into the night.
*****
Despite the gentle hand shaking his shoulder, Aragorn awoke with a start, his body tense and ready to fight, even though he knew they were safe within Lothlorien’s borders.
“Legolas? Is something wrong?” he whispered, opening his eyes to see Legolas’ face above him, his hair haloed with moonlight. Aragorn glanced around him quickly to find the hobbits and Gimli still sleeping soundly.
Legolas simply shook his head and stood, gesturing for Aragorn to follow him when he turned and made his way out of the pavilion.
Puzzled, Aragorn rose and followed Legolas away from the sleeping forms around them and into the silent woods. Legolas moved swiftly through the giant Mallorns and Aragorn easily kept pace with him. Eventually their destination became clear to them, and it puzzled him even further. Within a few minutes Aragorn was standing hesitantly at the entrance of Legolas’ talan.
Aragorn could only think of one reason why Legolas had brought him here. He was going to tell him that what they shared… the love they once knew was over. Legolas would still follow him into battle; he would see the quest through to the end, of that Aragorn had no doubt. But what they shared in their hearts was broken, was torn beyond repair with the death of their leader and friend. To know this in his heart was one thing, to hear Legolas say it was another… Aragorn’s heart began to thump in his chest and he had to force himself to stay where he was and not flee. He would prefer to face a hundred orcs than hear what Legolas had to tell him. He watched Legolas move to the middle of the room and lower himself gracefully to sit cross-legged on the floor. He gestured silently for Aragorn to do the same and waited until he was seated, facing him before he quietly began speaking.
“I do not blame you.”
“Legolas?”
“There was nothing you could have done to prevent Gandalf’s death, Aragorn.”
“You have been speaking with Haldir.” Aragorn mentally made a note to take Haldir to task for repeating their conversation to Legolas.
“Yes, and he told me what has been weighing on your mind. Tell me, Aragorn, these charges you lay against yourself… why do you not lay them also at my feet? Or Boromir’s? Gimli’s?”
“There must have been something, Legolas. I could have prevailed upon Gandalf to choose a different path, as the others could not. I know he would have listened to me…”
“Perhaps, but what path would you have chosen? We might have persuaded him to follow Boromir’s suggestion to travel to Rohan… but then our way was closed to us, remember? Then we had but one choice.” Legolas moved closer to Aragorn, until their knees were almost, but not quite, touching.
“The success or failure of this quest is not yours to carry alone, Aragorn. We each share in this burden. Do not take more upon yourself than you must,” he finished softly.
“I cannot find it in my heart to blame any of you for Gandalf’s death,” Aragorn whispered.
“Then you must not find it in you to take that burden upon yourself either.”
For a long time they both sat in silence, their eyes locked. There were only a few candles burning in the talan, but even so Aragorn could see Legolas’ glow and in his eyes, behind the compassion Aragorn saw in them, there was strength, a determination that was just as much a part of Legolas as his soul.
“But, I saw it… I saw it in your face,” Aragorn eventually broke the silence.
“No. Never, meleth-nin.”
Aragorn’s heart skipped a beat at the endearment, and a small seed of hope took up root there. Aching to reach out and caress Legolas’ face, he remained still and silent, waiting for Legolas to continue.
“You must remember I am not… accustomed to loss, to death. When I saw Gandalf fall I found it difficult to comprehend at first. I was overwhelmed by it. I feel the grief still hovering perilously close to my heart. But it is not only sorrow I feel, Aragorn, but fear also. Fear that one day I may be forced to watch you fall, to see death claim you. I needed time to meditate, to seek council from those wiser than me, and reconcile myself with this,” Legolas inched forward so that their legs touched. “I feel so close to you, meleth-nin. I thought you knew what was in my heart, in my mind. I am sorry for causing you further pain. Forgive me. It will not happen again.”
This time Aragorn did not suppress the urge to touch Legolas. He ran his fingers over Legolas’ smooth cheek, finally cupping it in his palm. Legolas closed his eyes briefly and leaned his head into the touch. He covered Aragorn’s hand with his own and brought it to his mouth, kissing each finger and the palm before bringing their joined hands down to rest on their legs between them. He sat in silence with his head bowed waiting for Aragorn to speak.
“Legolas, the day will come when I will die. There is nothing either of us can do to prevent that. But, look at me Legolas,” he paused until Legolas raised his head and looked into his eyes. “When I do pass from this world, I hope by the grace of the Valar, it will be many years hence, when I am old and grey and barely able to lift my sword. And we will face that together when it happens as we do with all other things. But I will never be too old to tell you how you hold my heart. I will never be too old to tell you how much our bond is my comfort, my safety, my strength, or to thank the Valar for it. I do not fear death, Legolas, but in the past few days there is something I have come to fear, and that is walking the path of my life without you.”
“That is something you never have to fear, Aragorn. I swear to you, as long as you have need of me, as long as there is breath in me, I shall remain at your side. Our bond will not be broken.”
For a long moment the man and elf sat in silence in the flickering candlelight. Legolas’ gaze was locked with Aragorn’s and he watched as the man’s eyes softened and the cares he had been carrying eased. Legolas had always known that by giving his heart to Aragorn he would one day pay an enormous price, possibly his own life, when he’d have to face eternity without the other half of his soul. It was not something he had done lightly, but the love he felt for Aragorn was too strong and could not be denied, no matter the consequences. By the time he had realised that it was too late. Legolas could have chosen then, all those years ago, to deal with the pain of losing Aragorn, and it would have destroyed him then just as it would now, or a hundred years from now. Legolas had pushed all thoughts of Aragorn’s mortality from his mind, and simply revelled in the joy he found with Aragorn, but now he had to face that again. Gandalf’s death and this quest had forced him to confront his fears and make some sort of peace with them. He had hoped to keep his fear hidden from his lover, to not allow Aragorn to know of the thoughts that troubled him and lay further burdens on the man. He bowed his head again and felt Aragorn lean forward so their foreheads touched.
Sensing Legolas’ distress, and wanting to alleviate it, Aragorn spoke quietly. “You are right, Legolas, our bond cannot be broken, not by time or distance. No one can know what may happen in the future, what the paths we chose to tread today may mean for tomorrow, but tonight we are together. I am here with you, meleth-nin.”
Slowly Legolas lifted his head, and Aragorn could still see turmoil behind his azure eyes.
“Tell me what I can do to ease your mind, Legolas.”
Legolas took a moment before answering, “I need… to feel you. Let me touch you and feel your warmth, your life…” Legolas slipped his fingers underneath Aragorn’s open tunic and rested them on the skin of his chest, as if waiting permission from Aragorn to continue.
Aragorn released Legolas’ hands and silently removed his tunic and helped Legolas draw his own over his head. He uncrossed his legs and leaned back, pulling Legolas down on top of him.
Legolas straightened his legs as he followed Aragorn. He slipped his hands underneath Aragorn and rested his head on the man’s shoulder. As the bare skin on their chests touched, Legolas closed his eyes with a sigh. Aragorn’s skin felt warm and the light dusting of hair on his chest faintly tickled, but beneath all that Legolas felt the faint drumming of Aragorn’s heart and it was that he concentrated on now, matching his breathing to Aragorn’s until his heart beat in the same rhythm as the man’s.
“Ahhh, Aragorn…” he sighed as he breathed in the scent of the man, the faint smell of leather, of horses, the forest and sweat. All the smells that made up Aragorn’s life, mixed and mingled until they became Aragorn’s own unique scent. He lifted his head and gazed down at his lover for a long moment before slowly lowering his mouth on to Aragorn’s. The kiss was slow and languid; Aragorn parted his lips and his tongue slid alongside Legolas’ in a sensual greeting. There was no urgency in the kiss, instead a deep warmth infused both man and Elf as they embraced each other.
As they kissed Aragorn ran his hands up and down the length of Legolas’ back, pausing to caress the areas he knew to be particularly sensitive around the base of his spine and at the nape of his neck. As their kiss deepened and became heated, Aragorn spread his legs slightly, silently offering himself to Legolas.
Legolas drew back and looked at Aragorn. He knew what the man was offering and it made his blood race. His body stirred at the thought, but his heart needed something else. He reached up and trailed the tips of his fingers down Aragorn’s face as he met the man’s clear, steady gaze. Legolas moved away silently and removed his leggings. As Aragorn divested himself of his remaining clothing Legolas walked over to a small table and retrieved a vial of oil. When he turned back he saw Aragorn was returning to their former position and he reached out a hand to stop him.
“Melethron?” Aragorn queried, looking up at his lover. Legolas smiled gently at Aragorn and handed him the vial. Aragorn stared at the small bottle, realising what it was Legolas was asking of him. He’d been prepared to give himself over to his lover, to allow Legolas to find comfort in his body believing that to be what he needed. He met Legolas’ gaze again questioningly.
“I wish feel you move inside me, Aragorn. Will you grant me that?” Legolas moved his fingers through Aragorn’s hair as he spoke softly.
Aragorn raised himself on his knees before Legolas and wrapped his arms around the Elf’s waist. He leaned his head against Legolas’ smooth stomach, pressing a kiss to his navel. He curled the fingers of one hand around Legolas’ half hard cock and began to slowly stroke it to full hardness, continuing to kiss Legolas’ stomach as the Elf’s cock filled his hand. When Aragorn felt moisture begin to form at the tip he lowered his head and tasted, taking Legolas into his mouth and swirling his tongue around the head.
“Ai!” Legolas gasped. His knees suddenly felt weak as Aragorn’s tongue moved over his length and he placed both hands on the side of Aragorn’s head to steady himself. The warmth from Aragorn’s mouth spread through his entire body, sending his blood racing through his veins and his breath coming in short gasps. Legolas looked down to watch as Aragorn took him fully, the man’s mouth stretching over his cock, lips closing tight around the base. When Aragorn began to suck Legolas tilted his head back and closed his eyes, allowing the pleasure to crash over him in waves.
Aragorn continued to pleasure his lover as he pulled the stopper out of the vial and poured the scented oil over his fingers. He lightly brushed the inside of Legolas’ thighs, urging the Elf to move them further apart and then trailed a finger from the base of Legolas’ cock, down over the sac hanging between his legs and behind that to circle Legolas’ entrance with a slick finger. He could taste Legolas on his tongue, the bittersweet taste he knew and loved so well… the taste he craved. Legolas’ erection pulsed in his mouth when he pressed his fingers to the entrance, circling gently at first and then slowly exerting more pressure until finally his finger slipped inside.
Aragorn drew back, sucking on the head of Legolas’ cock, his tongue moving over the slit at the top, intent on gathering every drop forming there. He slipped another finger inside Legolas, preparing him slowly, gently. He felt Legolas’ fingers tighten on his head and he glanced upward only to meet Legolas’ lust filled gaze looking down at him.
Legolas reluctantly pulled away from Aragorn’s mouth and moved a step backward, forcing Aragorn’s fingers to fall from his body. He dropped gracefully to his knees so that their bodies were flush against each other and leaned in to capture Aragorn’s mouth with his own. His tongue slipped past Aragorn’s lips and Legolas moaned at finding the taste of himself there. He reached down and gripped their erections, sliding his hand along the lengths, rubbing them together causing a delicious friction and making them both moan at the sensation.
“I need you, Aragorn,” Legolas whispered, trailing a path of fiery kisses along Aragorn’s jaw to his neck. His lips found the pulse on Aragorn’s neck and rested there for a moment, feeling the blood racing through the man’s body. Legolas pressed a kiss to the pulse before drawing back to lie on the floor, pulling Aragorn down with him.
Aragorn settled himself between Legolas’ legs and covered the Elf’s mouth with his own, his tongue begging for entrance and eagerly meeting its counterpart when granted. Legolas tilted his hips, grinding their erections together and sending a jolt of lust through Aragorn’s body. His hands wandered over Legolas’ smooth, hard body, lingering in places he knew his lover liked to be touched as his tongue traced every inch of Legolas’ mouth.
“Saes, melethron…” Legolas gasped, pulling his mouth away as Aragorn’s fingers lightly pinched a nipple.
Aragorn could feel Legolas’ need and he didn’t want to wait any longer. He wanted to please Legolas, to have Legolas take from their union what he needed to ease his mind. He sat back on his heels and used the oil to coat his erection before gently lifting one of Legolas’ legs to rest on his shoulder and positioned the head of his cock at his entrance. He paused and looked down at Legolas. His high, usually pale cheekbones were now flushed with colour, and his eyes held an intensity that took Aragorn’s breath away. He took hold of Legolas’ hand and brought it up to his chest to rest over his heart. The intensity in the blue eyes looking up at him softened when Legolas felt Aragorn’s heart beating beneath his palm and Aragorn slowly pushed his hips forward.
Legolas lifted his hips when Aragorn moved forward and held his breath as he felt Aragorn fill him to the hilt in one smooth glide. The tight feeling in his chest, the fear he’d been holding in his heart eased and melted away when he felt Aragorn pulse deep inside him and the rhythm of his heart under his hand. He kept his eyes locked with Aragorn’s and what he saw there; the total love and joy in Aragorn’s eyes swept away all the fear in Legolas’ heart. He knew it may be fleeting, knew that when they returned to their quest and the dangers it held, the fear would return also, but at this moment Legolas felt peace and love in his heart and it left no room for anything else.
“Aragorn, melethron-nin,” he whispered.
“Yes, Legolas,” Aragorn answered. “I am your lover… now and always, meleth-nin.”
Aragorn let Legolas’ leg slip down from his shoulder and guided it around his waist as he began to rock his hips. Legolas’ body was so tight and hot around his cock. Aragorn could feel himself throbbing in the tight passage and Legolas’ muscles would ripple along his length in response. He had to fight to keep his thrusts controlled, to make sure he hit the right spot deep inside his lover.
Legolas wrapped his other leg around Aragorn, locking his ankles around Aragorn’s waist and drawing him in deeper. He lifted his hips to meet Aragorn’s, urging the man to move faster. He wanted to feel Aragorn pound into him and then fill him with warmth. He wanted to still feel it tomorrow.
“Faster… saes.”
Aragorn increased his thrusts, driving his hips forward, burying himself again and again in Legolas’ tight heat. Sweat began to form on his brow and between his shoulders as he felt himself begin to come undone. He leaned down and pressed his lips to Legolas’, his tongue thrusting into Legolas’ mouth, mimicking the movements of his cock. He felt rather than heard Legolas moan into his mouth and he answered it with one of his own. He could feel Legolas’ body begin to tense and he broke away from the kiss to reach between their bodies and curl his fingers around Legolas’ cock. His fingers still slick from the oil and aided by the moisture gathered at the tip glided easily over the hard flesh. Legolas cried out in pleasure and the sound sent a jolt of lust through Aragorn’s body.
“Gods, Legolas… you undo me…” Aragorn breathed into Legolas’ ear. He sucked the pointed tip into his mouth, flicking his tongue over it, and a moment later he felt Legolas’ body clench him tightly.
“Ai, Aragorn! Meleth-nin, meleth-nin!”
A low moan rumbled up from Aragorn’s chest when he felt warmth spill over onto his hand and Legolas’ muscled clenched and unclenched as he flew over the edge. The moan turned into his lovers’ name as Aragorn buried himself one more time into Legolas’ body, his cock throbbing and filling Legolas with his warmth as he felt the bliss take him over.
Aragorn placed small kisses along Legolas’ neck as they both caught their breath. When he would have pulled away he felt Legolas’ arms tighten around him, holding him in place. Legolas still had his ankles locked around Aragorn’s waist, making sure his softening cock did not slip from his body.
“Do not leave me just yet, Aragorn,” Legolas said softly.
Aragorn raised himself on his elbows and looked into Legolas’ eyes. He reached up to caress a lock of Legolas’ hair and then let his hand trail down to rest of the Elf’s chest.
“Whatever fate has in store for us, Legolas, I will always be with you. I will always be here,” he said, tapping his fingers once over Legolas’ heart.
Legolas brought his hands up to tangle his fingers in Aragorn’s hair, pulling him down for another kiss. They remained that way for a long time, murmuring endearments and words of love and comfort in Elvish, their kisses deep and lingering.
Eventually the candles waned and as Aragorn slept his lover watched over him with a peaceful smile on his face and hope and love in his heart.
(end)
Author: Eirien Rhovan
Pairing: Aragorn/Legolas
Rating: NC-17
Summary: PWP. Legolas is troubled. Aragorn thinks he knows why.
Warnings: Angst. Sap.
Beta: The wonderful siochan *hugs*
Disclaimer: The characters and Middle Earth belong to Tolkien.
Feedback: Please.
Authors Note: This has been sitting as a WIP on my hard drive for a while. My thanks to loyaldreamer and jasmineskie for their support and for being my first readers of this in its early stages.
Aragorn watched with troubled eyes as Legolas slowly made his way across the clearing and disappeared into the trees. On any other night he would have followed. He would have made his way through the treetops to Legolas’ borrowed talan and spent the night with him there, finding peace in each other’s arms. But not tonight, things were different. Legolas no longer wanted to share his bed with Aragorn and only exchanged with him the blandest of courtesies during the day before finding an excuse to be elsewhere.
And so it had been since Gandalf’s death.
A hand clapped down on Aragorn’s shoulder. “Aragorn.”
“Haldir, mellon-nin,” Aragorn smiled as he turned to face his friend.
“Orophin and I are opening another bottle of miruvor. Would you care to join us, my friend?”
Aragorn looked at the empty cup in his hand and wondered how long he had been standing there, not drinking, while he watched Legolas. An hour? Two? He thought about Haldir’s offer for a moment, but an image flashed through his mind of Legolas’ back, retreating into the dark. Legolas had not even come to bid him goodnight, and Aragorn felt a sudden weariness envelop him. “Thank you, Haldir, but I think I will seek my bed. Tomorrow, perhaps?”
Aragorn saw the look of disappointment on Haldir’s face and averted his eyes. He had been friends with Haldir and his brothers for many years, as had Legolas, and Aragorn would have liked to have spent some more time with them, but his heart was too heavy. His grief for Gandalf was still raw, and although he was still here, still alive, Aragorn knew he must also somehow face the loss of Legolas. He simply needed some time alone to come to terms with that.
“Tomorrow, then,” Haldir replied softly, then, “May I walk with you?”
Unable to refuse without appearing discourteous, Aragorn nodded, and then placed his cup on the nearest trestle table. As they walked slowly to the pavilion where Aragorn slept with the rest of the Fellowship they spoke in soft tones of the preparations that must be made before they departed Lothlorien, of the reports coming in from Celeborn’s scouts.
“You remain with the Fellowship while Legolas sleeps in the treetops?”
Aragorn was a little startled at the abruptness of Haldir’s query. Being a good friend to them both, Haldir of course knew that he and Legolas were lovers, but Aragorn was surprised all the same and it showed on his face.
“Forgive me, I do not mean to pry, Aragorn. I am merely concerned. You are both discontent and I know you are mourning the loss of Gandalf. Now is the time you should be seeking strength and comfort from each other.”
Aragorn could not hold back a short, mirthless laugh. “I very much doubt if Legolas would find comfort from being near me at present.”
“I do not understand...”
Aragorn stopped walking, and sat on a nearby seat with his face in his hands, his shoulders slumped over in seeming defeat. Haldir slowly took the place next to his friend, for a long moment the soft nighttime sound of the Elvish city peacefully floating on the warm air was the only thing breaking the silence. Eventually Aragorn lifted his head and looked at him. There were no tears on his face, but Haldir was concerned nonetheless at the anguish he saw in Aragorn’s eyes.
“He holds me responsible, Haldir… for Gandalf’s death…”
“Aragorn, I am certain that is not so. No one holds you respons…”
“He does. You were not there, Haldir. You did not see his face when we stood outside the gates of Khaza Dum. The utterly uncomprehending expression marring his features… I will never forget it. It haunts me… as if he was saying ‘how could you have let this happen?’… And who can fault him for that, Haldir? I do not, for I blame myself also.”
“Aragorn, you must listen to me. I have heard the account of Gandalf’s fall. I know you could have nothing to prevent it. As does Legolas. You mis-read his thoughts… I am certain of it.”
“Then why does he avoid me?” As he suspected, Haldir did not have an answer for him and Aragorn rested against the back of the seat with a sigh. “I have been through it a hundred times in my mind, Haldir. Of all the different paths we might have taken… and in the end it comes down to the fact that I did nothing. I watched Gandalf fight the Balrog. I watched him fall into the abyss and I did nothing.”
Haldir looked at Aragorn in growing alarm. “Have you at least spoken to Legolas of this?”
“No. And I will not. He has enough to bear as it is,” Aragorn stood suddenly and when Haldir followed turned to face him. “I am sorry, Haldir. I do not wish to discuss this further. I will find a way to lead the Fellowship, to bear the loss of Gandalf as best I can… and perhaps… perhaps in time Legolas will find it in him to forgive me.”
With that he turned on his heel and Haldir was left to watch as he strode away into the night.
*****
Despite the gentle hand shaking his shoulder, Aragorn awoke with a start, his body tense and ready to fight, even though he knew they were safe within Lothlorien’s borders.
“Legolas? Is something wrong?” he whispered, opening his eyes to see Legolas’ face above him, his hair haloed with moonlight. Aragorn glanced around him quickly to find the hobbits and Gimli still sleeping soundly.
Legolas simply shook his head and stood, gesturing for Aragorn to follow him when he turned and made his way out of the pavilion.
Puzzled, Aragorn rose and followed Legolas away from the sleeping forms around them and into the silent woods. Legolas moved swiftly through the giant Mallorns and Aragorn easily kept pace with him. Eventually their destination became clear to them, and it puzzled him even further. Within a few minutes Aragorn was standing hesitantly at the entrance of Legolas’ talan.
Aragorn could only think of one reason why Legolas had brought him here. He was going to tell him that what they shared… the love they once knew was over. Legolas would still follow him into battle; he would see the quest through to the end, of that Aragorn had no doubt. But what they shared in their hearts was broken, was torn beyond repair with the death of their leader and friend. To know this in his heart was one thing, to hear Legolas say it was another… Aragorn’s heart began to thump in his chest and he had to force himself to stay where he was and not flee. He would prefer to face a hundred orcs than hear what Legolas had to tell him. He watched Legolas move to the middle of the room and lower himself gracefully to sit cross-legged on the floor. He gestured silently for Aragorn to do the same and waited until he was seated, facing him before he quietly began speaking.
“I do not blame you.”
“Legolas?”
“There was nothing you could have done to prevent Gandalf’s death, Aragorn.”
“You have been speaking with Haldir.” Aragorn mentally made a note to take Haldir to task for repeating their conversation to Legolas.
“Yes, and he told me what has been weighing on your mind. Tell me, Aragorn, these charges you lay against yourself… why do you not lay them also at my feet? Or Boromir’s? Gimli’s?”
“There must have been something, Legolas. I could have prevailed upon Gandalf to choose a different path, as the others could not. I know he would have listened to me…”
“Perhaps, but what path would you have chosen? We might have persuaded him to follow Boromir’s suggestion to travel to Rohan… but then our way was closed to us, remember? Then we had but one choice.” Legolas moved closer to Aragorn, until their knees were almost, but not quite, touching.
“The success or failure of this quest is not yours to carry alone, Aragorn. We each share in this burden. Do not take more upon yourself than you must,” he finished softly.
“I cannot find it in my heart to blame any of you for Gandalf’s death,” Aragorn whispered.
“Then you must not find it in you to take that burden upon yourself either.”
For a long time they both sat in silence, their eyes locked. There were only a few candles burning in the talan, but even so Aragorn could see Legolas’ glow and in his eyes, behind the compassion Aragorn saw in them, there was strength, a determination that was just as much a part of Legolas as his soul.
“But, I saw it… I saw it in your face,” Aragorn eventually broke the silence.
“No. Never, meleth-nin.”
Aragorn’s heart skipped a beat at the endearment, and a small seed of hope took up root there. Aching to reach out and caress Legolas’ face, he remained still and silent, waiting for Legolas to continue.
“You must remember I am not… accustomed to loss, to death. When I saw Gandalf fall I found it difficult to comprehend at first. I was overwhelmed by it. I feel the grief still hovering perilously close to my heart. But it is not only sorrow I feel, Aragorn, but fear also. Fear that one day I may be forced to watch you fall, to see death claim you. I needed time to meditate, to seek council from those wiser than me, and reconcile myself with this,” Legolas inched forward so that their legs touched. “I feel so close to you, meleth-nin. I thought you knew what was in my heart, in my mind. I am sorry for causing you further pain. Forgive me. It will not happen again.”
This time Aragorn did not suppress the urge to touch Legolas. He ran his fingers over Legolas’ smooth cheek, finally cupping it in his palm. Legolas closed his eyes briefly and leaned his head into the touch. He covered Aragorn’s hand with his own and brought it to his mouth, kissing each finger and the palm before bringing their joined hands down to rest on their legs between them. He sat in silence with his head bowed waiting for Aragorn to speak.
“Legolas, the day will come when I will die. There is nothing either of us can do to prevent that. But, look at me Legolas,” he paused until Legolas raised his head and looked into his eyes. “When I do pass from this world, I hope by the grace of the Valar, it will be many years hence, when I am old and grey and barely able to lift my sword. And we will face that together when it happens as we do with all other things. But I will never be too old to tell you how you hold my heart. I will never be too old to tell you how much our bond is my comfort, my safety, my strength, or to thank the Valar for it. I do not fear death, Legolas, but in the past few days there is something I have come to fear, and that is walking the path of my life without you.”
“That is something you never have to fear, Aragorn. I swear to you, as long as you have need of me, as long as there is breath in me, I shall remain at your side. Our bond will not be broken.”
For a long moment the man and elf sat in silence in the flickering candlelight. Legolas’ gaze was locked with Aragorn’s and he watched as the man’s eyes softened and the cares he had been carrying eased. Legolas had always known that by giving his heart to Aragorn he would one day pay an enormous price, possibly his own life, when he’d have to face eternity without the other half of his soul. It was not something he had done lightly, but the love he felt for Aragorn was too strong and could not be denied, no matter the consequences. By the time he had realised that it was too late. Legolas could have chosen then, all those years ago, to deal with the pain of losing Aragorn, and it would have destroyed him then just as it would now, or a hundred years from now. Legolas had pushed all thoughts of Aragorn’s mortality from his mind, and simply revelled in the joy he found with Aragorn, but now he had to face that again. Gandalf’s death and this quest had forced him to confront his fears and make some sort of peace with them. He had hoped to keep his fear hidden from his lover, to not allow Aragorn to know of the thoughts that troubled him and lay further burdens on the man. He bowed his head again and felt Aragorn lean forward so their foreheads touched.
Sensing Legolas’ distress, and wanting to alleviate it, Aragorn spoke quietly. “You are right, Legolas, our bond cannot be broken, not by time or distance. No one can know what may happen in the future, what the paths we chose to tread today may mean for tomorrow, but tonight we are together. I am here with you, meleth-nin.”
Slowly Legolas lifted his head, and Aragorn could still see turmoil behind his azure eyes.
“Tell me what I can do to ease your mind, Legolas.”
Legolas took a moment before answering, “I need… to feel you. Let me touch you and feel your warmth, your life…” Legolas slipped his fingers underneath Aragorn’s open tunic and rested them on the skin of his chest, as if waiting permission from Aragorn to continue.
Aragorn released Legolas’ hands and silently removed his tunic and helped Legolas draw his own over his head. He uncrossed his legs and leaned back, pulling Legolas down on top of him.
Legolas straightened his legs as he followed Aragorn. He slipped his hands underneath Aragorn and rested his head on the man’s shoulder. As the bare skin on their chests touched, Legolas closed his eyes with a sigh. Aragorn’s skin felt warm and the light dusting of hair on his chest faintly tickled, but beneath all that Legolas felt the faint drumming of Aragorn’s heart and it was that he concentrated on now, matching his breathing to Aragorn’s until his heart beat in the same rhythm as the man’s.
“Ahhh, Aragorn…” he sighed as he breathed in the scent of the man, the faint smell of leather, of horses, the forest and sweat. All the smells that made up Aragorn’s life, mixed and mingled until they became Aragorn’s own unique scent. He lifted his head and gazed down at his lover for a long moment before slowly lowering his mouth on to Aragorn’s. The kiss was slow and languid; Aragorn parted his lips and his tongue slid alongside Legolas’ in a sensual greeting. There was no urgency in the kiss, instead a deep warmth infused both man and Elf as they embraced each other.
As they kissed Aragorn ran his hands up and down the length of Legolas’ back, pausing to caress the areas he knew to be particularly sensitive around the base of his spine and at the nape of his neck. As their kiss deepened and became heated, Aragorn spread his legs slightly, silently offering himself to Legolas.
Legolas drew back and looked at Aragorn. He knew what the man was offering and it made his blood race. His body stirred at the thought, but his heart needed something else. He reached up and trailed the tips of his fingers down Aragorn’s face as he met the man’s clear, steady gaze. Legolas moved away silently and removed his leggings. As Aragorn divested himself of his remaining clothing Legolas walked over to a small table and retrieved a vial of oil. When he turned back he saw Aragorn was returning to their former position and he reached out a hand to stop him.
“Melethron?” Aragorn queried, looking up at his lover. Legolas smiled gently at Aragorn and handed him the vial. Aragorn stared at the small bottle, realising what it was Legolas was asking of him. He’d been prepared to give himself over to his lover, to allow Legolas to find comfort in his body believing that to be what he needed. He met Legolas’ gaze again questioningly.
“I wish feel you move inside me, Aragorn. Will you grant me that?” Legolas moved his fingers through Aragorn’s hair as he spoke softly.
Aragorn raised himself on his knees before Legolas and wrapped his arms around the Elf’s waist. He leaned his head against Legolas’ smooth stomach, pressing a kiss to his navel. He curled the fingers of one hand around Legolas’ half hard cock and began to slowly stroke it to full hardness, continuing to kiss Legolas’ stomach as the Elf’s cock filled his hand. When Aragorn felt moisture begin to form at the tip he lowered his head and tasted, taking Legolas into his mouth and swirling his tongue around the head.
“Ai!” Legolas gasped. His knees suddenly felt weak as Aragorn’s tongue moved over his length and he placed both hands on the side of Aragorn’s head to steady himself. The warmth from Aragorn’s mouth spread through his entire body, sending his blood racing through his veins and his breath coming in short gasps. Legolas looked down to watch as Aragorn took him fully, the man’s mouth stretching over his cock, lips closing tight around the base. When Aragorn began to suck Legolas tilted his head back and closed his eyes, allowing the pleasure to crash over him in waves.
Aragorn continued to pleasure his lover as he pulled the stopper out of the vial and poured the scented oil over his fingers. He lightly brushed the inside of Legolas’ thighs, urging the Elf to move them further apart and then trailed a finger from the base of Legolas’ cock, down over the sac hanging between his legs and behind that to circle Legolas’ entrance with a slick finger. He could taste Legolas on his tongue, the bittersweet taste he knew and loved so well… the taste he craved. Legolas’ erection pulsed in his mouth when he pressed his fingers to the entrance, circling gently at first and then slowly exerting more pressure until finally his finger slipped inside.
Aragorn drew back, sucking on the head of Legolas’ cock, his tongue moving over the slit at the top, intent on gathering every drop forming there. He slipped another finger inside Legolas, preparing him slowly, gently. He felt Legolas’ fingers tighten on his head and he glanced upward only to meet Legolas’ lust filled gaze looking down at him.
Legolas reluctantly pulled away from Aragorn’s mouth and moved a step backward, forcing Aragorn’s fingers to fall from his body. He dropped gracefully to his knees so that their bodies were flush against each other and leaned in to capture Aragorn’s mouth with his own. His tongue slipped past Aragorn’s lips and Legolas moaned at finding the taste of himself there. He reached down and gripped their erections, sliding his hand along the lengths, rubbing them together causing a delicious friction and making them both moan at the sensation.
“I need you, Aragorn,” Legolas whispered, trailing a path of fiery kisses along Aragorn’s jaw to his neck. His lips found the pulse on Aragorn’s neck and rested there for a moment, feeling the blood racing through the man’s body. Legolas pressed a kiss to the pulse before drawing back to lie on the floor, pulling Aragorn down with him.
Aragorn settled himself between Legolas’ legs and covered the Elf’s mouth with his own, his tongue begging for entrance and eagerly meeting its counterpart when granted. Legolas tilted his hips, grinding their erections together and sending a jolt of lust through Aragorn’s body. His hands wandered over Legolas’ smooth, hard body, lingering in places he knew his lover liked to be touched as his tongue traced every inch of Legolas’ mouth.
“Saes, melethron…” Legolas gasped, pulling his mouth away as Aragorn’s fingers lightly pinched a nipple.
Aragorn could feel Legolas’ need and he didn’t want to wait any longer. He wanted to please Legolas, to have Legolas take from their union what he needed to ease his mind. He sat back on his heels and used the oil to coat his erection before gently lifting one of Legolas’ legs to rest on his shoulder and positioned the head of his cock at his entrance. He paused and looked down at Legolas. His high, usually pale cheekbones were now flushed with colour, and his eyes held an intensity that took Aragorn’s breath away. He took hold of Legolas’ hand and brought it up to his chest to rest over his heart. The intensity in the blue eyes looking up at him softened when Legolas felt Aragorn’s heart beating beneath his palm and Aragorn slowly pushed his hips forward.
Legolas lifted his hips when Aragorn moved forward and held his breath as he felt Aragorn fill him to the hilt in one smooth glide. The tight feeling in his chest, the fear he’d been holding in his heart eased and melted away when he felt Aragorn pulse deep inside him and the rhythm of his heart under his hand. He kept his eyes locked with Aragorn’s and what he saw there; the total love and joy in Aragorn’s eyes swept away all the fear in Legolas’ heart. He knew it may be fleeting, knew that when they returned to their quest and the dangers it held, the fear would return also, but at this moment Legolas felt peace and love in his heart and it left no room for anything else.
“Aragorn, melethron-nin,” he whispered.
“Yes, Legolas,” Aragorn answered. “I am your lover… now and always, meleth-nin.”
Aragorn let Legolas’ leg slip down from his shoulder and guided it around his waist as he began to rock his hips. Legolas’ body was so tight and hot around his cock. Aragorn could feel himself throbbing in the tight passage and Legolas’ muscles would ripple along his length in response. He had to fight to keep his thrusts controlled, to make sure he hit the right spot deep inside his lover.
Legolas wrapped his other leg around Aragorn, locking his ankles around Aragorn’s waist and drawing him in deeper. He lifted his hips to meet Aragorn’s, urging the man to move faster. He wanted to feel Aragorn pound into him and then fill him with warmth. He wanted to still feel it tomorrow.
“Faster… saes.”
Aragorn increased his thrusts, driving his hips forward, burying himself again and again in Legolas’ tight heat. Sweat began to form on his brow and between his shoulders as he felt himself begin to come undone. He leaned down and pressed his lips to Legolas’, his tongue thrusting into Legolas’ mouth, mimicking the movements of his cock. He felt rather than heard Legolas moan into his mouth and he answered it with one of his own. He could feel Legolas’ body begin to tense and he broke away from the kiss to reach between their bodies and curl his fingers around Legolas’ cock. His fingers still slick from the oil and aided by the moisture gathered at the tip glided easily over the hard flesh. Legolas cried out in pleasure and the sound sent a jolt of lust through Aragorn’s body.
“Gods, Legolas… you undo me…” Aragorn breathed into Legolas’ ear. He sucked the pointed tip into his mouth, flicking his tongue over it, and a moment later he felt Legolas’ body clench him tightly.
“Ai, Aragorn! Meleth-nin, meleth-nin!”
A low moan rumbled up from Aragorn’s chest when he felt warmth spill over onto his hand and Legolas’ muscled clenched and unclenched as he flew over the edge. The moan turned into his lovers’ name as Aragorn buried himself one more time into Legolas’ body, his cock throbbing and filling Legolas with his warmth as he felt the bliss take him over.
Aragorn placed small kisses along Legolas’ neck as they both caught their breath. When he would have pulled away he felt Legolas’ arms tighten around him, holding him in place. Legolas still had his ankles locked around Aragorn’s waist, making sure his softening cock did not slip from his body.
“Do not leave me just yet, Aragorn,” Legolas said softly.
Aragorn raised himself on his elbows and looked into Legolas’ eyes. He reached up to caress a lock of Legolas’ hair and then let his hand trail down to rest of the Elf’s chest.
“Whatever fate has in store for us, Legolas, I will always be with you. I will always be here,” he said, tapping his fingers once over Legolas’ heart.
Legolas brought his hands up to tangle his fingers in Aragorn’s hair, pulling him down for another kiss. They remained that way for a long time, murmuring endearments and words of love and comfort in Elvish, their kisses deep and lingering.
Eventually the candles waned and as Aragorn slept his lover watched over him with a peaceful smile on his face and hope and love in his heart.
(end)