☁ points a & b
hypothetically if you were point a, and theoretically if i was point b
sehun/chen (chanyeol/chen)
pg-13
for modelpress
“Are you guys coming over later tonight?” Jongdae asks, grimacing as Kyungsoo starts to roughly shake the sand out of his hair. “Oww, Kyungsoo, that hurts.” He whines as he tries to shove him away but Kyungsoo’s grip tightens on his hair.
“You can’t go back into your home dragging sand in,” Kyungsoo says, crossly. Jongdae thinks he sounds too annoyed for a six-year old, sounds more like a sixty-year old. “Your mothers depend on me to keep you guys kind of clean. I have a reputation.”
“Yeah, all our moms want us to be like ‘that nice boy Kyungsoo,’” Baekhyun says, shaking his head like he’s some sort of puppy. “They don’t know you’re the reason for most of our scabs.”
“At least I don’t eat them.”
“Hey.” Chanyeol sounds offended. “That was one time.”
Jongdae swipes at Kyungsoo’s hand one last time. “Stop it,” he says, shaking sand out of his own hair. “But you guys are coming over tonight, right?”
“Of course,” Kyungsoo says.
“Not you,” Jongdae says, sticking a tongue out at him. “I know you’re coming over. Our dads are best friends. I’m doomed to be friends with you forever. You’re just boring around all the adults. Kyungsoo, show everyone what you learned in your piano class this week, Kyungsoo, sing us that song you learned in choir practice.”
“Excuse me for having talents that don’t include how far I can stick my finger up my nose.”
“Boring talents,” Baekhyun mutters.
Jongdae tugs on Chanyeol’s hand. “So you’re coming, right?” He catches the look Baekhyun and Chanyeol exchange. “What? What’s going on?”
“Is that weird kid going to be there?” Baekhyun asks.
“What weird- you mean, Sehun?”
Chanyeol makes a face. “Brat,” he grumbles, rubbing his ankle.
Jongdae pauses. “He’s not that bad,” he says weakly, and Baekhyun snorts in response.
“He bit Chanyeol on his ankle the last time we were over,” Baekhyun says. “Just because you were watching a movie with him and you left to play with us. And he scratched me when I tried to sit next to you at the dinner table.”
“He’s just a little kid. He’ll get over it. You said you were going to marry Chanyeol’s ferret when we were four,” Kyungsoo says, and Baekhyun promptly shoves him facedown into the sand.
ϟ
“Jongdae?” His mother pokes her head into his room and frowns when she sees him trying to squeeze himself into his closet. “What are you doing?”
He waves his arms at her. “Mom, go away. I don’t want-”
“Jongdae!” The door flies wide open and all Jongdae sees is a tiny blur before there’s something gripping his shirt tight. “I was looking for you.”
Jongdae sends his mother an unhappy look, before he sighs. “Hi, Sehun.”
Sehun shrugs, before he slips his hands into Jongdae’s.
Jongdae cringes. “Why are your hands sticky?”
“Oh, my dad gave me ice cream before we left the house,” Sehun says, tightening his grip on Jongdae’s hand. “It was my favourite. Chocolate. Do you want some?” He stops. “No, wait, I ate it all.” He disentangles their hands and holds his out in front of Jongdae’s face. “You can lick some of it off my hand. I haven’t washed my hands yet.”
“Mooooom!” Jongdae complains.
Jongdae’s mother laughs before she intervenes. “Come on, Sehunnie,” she says, taking him gently by the shoulders. “We have chocolate ice cream in the freezer, you and Jongdae can have some together after dinner.”
“Okay,” Sehun says brightly. “I’ll be right back, hyung! Wait for me.”
ϟ
Jongdae crawls as far under his bed as he can possibly manage. Sehun hasn’t left him alone all evening- an evening that Jongdae has spent running away, but Sehun just thinks they’re playing a game, and he has little legs but he’s still fast.
Baekhyun and Chanyeol haven’t arrived yet, and Kyungsoo is willingly mingling with the adults, Jongdae doesn’t know why they even bother with him. They should disown him. He’s an embarrassment to six-year olds everywhere.
Jongdae’s mom has a new friend over for the party, and the new friend has a son that’s Sehun’s age. Jongdae had hoped that would free him.
“Sehun, this is Jongin,” Jongdae’s mother says, and the new boy peeks out behind his dad’s legs. “Jongin, this is Sehun. You two are the same age.”
“Hi,” Jongin says shyly.
See, he’s cute. Why couldn’t Sehun be cute and shy like this kid?
“Why are you so small?” Sehun demands, and Jongdae rolls his eyes.
“Because I’m not big,” Jongin answers, looking confused.
Jongdae’s mother and Jongin’s father exchange laughs before she puts a hand on Jongdae’s shoulder. “This is my son, Jongdae. He’s a little older, so maybe you and Sehun can-”
“Mine!” Sehun puts both of his arms around Jongdae’s waist, burying his face in his back. “Jongdae is mine! You can’t have him. He’s mine.”
Jongin looks up at Jongdae with wide eyes and he can’t tell if he’s being pitied by a four-year old or if he’s terrified of Sehun, which he can’t be blamed for.
So when Sehun momentarily leaves his side to go to the bathroom- Jongdae is glad for tiny bladders- he grabs his chance and looks for somewhere to hide. He’s pretty sure he’s safe under the bed when the door to his room opens and he sees Sehun’s shoes step in.
“Jongdae?”
Jongdae feels a little bad because Sehun’s just a little kid and he just wants someone to play with. Jongdae has always had Kyungsoo so it never bothered him that Jongdeok considered him too young to play with, but Sehun doesn’t have anyone.
No, Jongdae thinks. Sehun has that Jongin kid, he should be friends with kids his own age.
He’s so sure he’s found the right hiding spot that when Sehun’s head suddenly appears right in front of his face, he jumps and hits his head on the frame of his bed
“What are you doing?” Sehun asks, looking puzzled.
“Hiding,” Jongdae growls.
To his horror, Sehun perks up and crawls in next to him. “This is fun,” he says, squeezing in next to Jongdae, even though there’s more than enough room under the bed for Sehun to not be invading his personal space. “I like hiding.”
Jongdae sighs because now he’s trapped in an enclosed space with him. “Sehunnie, don’t you want to go play with Jongin?”
Sehun crinkles his nose. “No, I want to play with you.”
“But Jongin needs a friend,” Jongdae tries. “Maybe we can-“
“No!” Sehun shoves his face in Jongdae’s neck, gripping his shirt tight. “You’re only mine.”
Jongdae rolls his eyes because he’s been refuting this since Sehun had laid his claim on him when he was two. “You should learn how to share.”
“I know how to share,” Sehun says with all the indignation a four-year old can manage. “I’m just not sharing you.”
“Jongdae?”
Jongdae lifts his head and he recognizes Baekhyun’s beaten up sneakers. He’s about to slide out when Sehun clamps a tight hand over his mouth.
“We’re hiding,” he whispers.
“Come on, Baek, he’s not here,” Chanyeol’s voice floats down to where Jongdae is being held hostage by a four-year old. “Let’s go rescue Kyungsoo from the adults.”
“Yeah, sure. Rescue.”
Sehun only lets go when they leave. “Hiding is fun,” he repeats, grinning wide.
ϟ
Sehun gets upset when his mother comes to pick him up from Jongdae’s house to take him home. Upset is an understatement, but it’s nothing new.
That’s how their summer is going so far. Sehun’s mother drops him off before she goes to work and they are forced to endure a morning with him, playing games where Sehun pretends the other three don’t exist.
“What’s the point of hide and seek when he only looks for you?” Chanyeol complains.
“Sehun, you can’t attack us every time we grab Jongdae,” Kyungsoo says, rubbing his cheek that’s still sore from where Sehun had swung his fist at it. “That’s the point of catch!”
It’s always a relief when they see Sehun’s mom’s car pull up.
“Can I come over later?” Sehun asks uselessly.
“We’re going to be at Chanyeol’s house after lunch,” Kyungsoo says, just as uselessly.
Jongdae is sure Sehun’s mother has caught on to how they are always conveniently either at Chanyeol or Baekhyun’s house after lunch, whose parents she doesn’t know. It’s a pain to bike all the way over to their homes but it’s the sacrifice they make so they can at least have Sehun-free afternoons.
“And Jongin’s coming over to play with you after lunch and your nap,” Sehun’s mother tells him patiently. “Now say bye.”
“I don’t like Jongin!”
“Bye, Sehunnie,” Baekhyun says sweetly, linking his arms through Jongdae’s.
Sehun’s eyes narrow and he tries to charge forward but his mother has a tight grip on his hand. She says goodbye and leaves with a handful of angry Sehun.
“You know he’s going to attempt to claw your eyes out tomorrow,” Jongdae says, unlinking their arms.
“He’s eight,” Baekhyun says. “I’m not afraid of him.”
ϟ
“We’re finally going to be in high school!” Jongdae flops down on top of Chanyeol, who’s laying on Kyungsoo’s bed when he gets the wind knocked out of him.
“I don’t know why you’re so excited about being on the bottom of the food chain,” Baekhyun mumbles, as he watches Kyungsoo hold up a shirt. “Who cares what you wear tomorrow? No one’s going to be looking at us, we’re freshmen.”
“I think you’re missing the bigger picture,” Jongdae says, squirming around trying to get comfortable. It’s hard because Chanyeol had a ridiculous growth spurt that summer and is all bones and limbs.
“Stop.” Chanyeol stills him by resting his hands on his waist. “Stop squirming.”
“Yeah, it’s not good for his dick,” Baekhyun says. He makes a face at the shirt Kyungsoo is holding up now. “Why do you own a shirt that is lime green? Where did you even get that?”
Jongdae sits up when he realizes that Baekhyun is right. Chanyeol is having a problem. “Uhh, sorry,” he says.
Chanyeol flushes. “It’s fine. It’s not you, it’s-”
“It goes up for anything,” Baekhyun says. “I gave him a fruit cup yesterday and he got a boner.” He yelps when Chanyeol pinches the back of his neck.
“Jongdae is right,” Kyungsoo interrupts.
They all pause and stare at him because none of them are ever right.
“You’re missing the bigger picture,” he continues, pulling out a white button up and grinning when Baekhyun gives him a non-committal shrug. “High school is a brand new chapter for us. New classes, new subjects, new friends-”
“Maybe we can finally get rid of you this year,” Baekhyun says.
“I was looking through one of Jongdeok’s textbooks,” Kyungsoo says, ignoring Baekhyun. “The Advanced Physics one, and I can’t wait until I can take that.”
Baekhyun looks appalled. “How are we even friends with you?”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I agree. I should have left all of you in the dust years ago.”
“Actually,” Jongdae says, “I was talking about how we get two whole Sehun-free years before he gets to high school. This summer was so nice without him.”
Chanyeol grunts in agreement. “And yet the scars we got before he left for his grandparents’ house haven’t healed yet.”
“They will never heal,” Baekhyun says mournfully. “We should have just let Sehun have you, Jongdae. I’m still not sure you were worth all the trouble.”
ϟ
It’s actually kind of weird without Sehun hanging off him though. Jongdae is used to him always being around, he’s like some ghost limb because Jongdae keeps waiting to feel an arm drop on his shoulder and for someone to barrel into him from behind.
He doesn’t miss him exactly. He’s gotten used to seeing Sehun almost everyday since he was four. It’s just an odd feeling to not see him everywhere.
He’s still startled when he comes home and finds Sehun sitting at the kitchen counter with a glass of chocolate milk in front of him.
“Hyung!” Sehun almost knocks the glass over in his hurry to get to Jongdae. “How was high school?”
Jongdae’s too surprised to resist when Sehun pulls him into a tight hug. Not that he can do much when his arms are pinned to his side. “Weird,” he says, and even he’s surprised that he’s being honest.
Sehun’s eyes are lit up when he pulls away and Jongdae notices the chocolate milk mustache on his upper lip. “Weird because I’m not there?”
Jongdae rolls his eyes. “No. It’s just different, that’s all.”
“Did you miss me?” Sehun grins wide and the chocolate milk mustache looks even more ridiculous with his mouth stretched out.
“No,” Jongdae answers. “How did you like staying with your grandparents?”
Sehun shrugs. “They’re okay. They only had banana milk at their place though. Gross.” He wrinkles his nose before he turns back to Jongdae, looking cross. “You didn’t make any new friends, did you?”
“Sehun. High school is supposed to be about making new friends.”
“Why?” Sehun looks genuinely perplexed. “You already have me...and those other three. Why do you need more friends?”
Jongdae gives him a funny look. “Because it’s normal. You should make new friends.”
Sehun waves a dismissive hand. “I have Jongin. I don’t want anyone else.”
Jongdae supposes he should feel lucky that Sehun doesn’t mention that he also has Jongdae, but he just feels sort of weird instead of relieved, so he ignores it. “You have chocolate milk on your face,” he says, throwing a napkin at him.
ϟ
The first two years of high school fly by fast, albeit not as Sehun-less as Jongdae would have liked it to be. Sure, Sehun had warmed up to Jongin but it didn’t mean he spent any less time around Jongdae. It just meant that he dragged Jongin with him when he came over.
Sehun in high school is something Jongdae wasn’t expecting. Much like Chanyeol, he goes through a growth spurt but unlike Chanyeol, he skips right past the awkward phase and straight into good-looking. Which is just rude really.
“Did you just call the brat good-looking?” Kyungsoo curls his lip. “Your taste makes me sad.”
As if he’s heard his name, Sehun strolls up to their table and drops down next to Jongdae. “I heard Liyin asked you out.”
Jongdae wants to hit him for opening his mouth.
“No one asked you to join us, freshman,” Baekhyun says. “Why don’t you run off and go sit with the rest of your puny friends?”
Sehun blinks at him. “Puny friends? That’s a lot of big talk from someone who has the height of a toaster.”
“And you have the brains of one,” Baekhyun shoot backs. “Go away.”
Sehun rolls his eye. “Fine. I’ll talk to you later,” he says to Jongdae, smiling at him and when did Sehun start smiling that way?
“Liyin asked you out?” Baekhyun demands as soon as Sehun leaves. “Zhang Liyin? The senior? The senior?”
“Yeah,” Jongdae answers awkwardly. “She just asked me before lunch.”
Chanyeol stares at him in wonderment. “When are you going out?”
“I didn’t say yes.”
Baekhyun gapes. “You didn’t say no!”
“No. I didn’t really say anything. I just kind of stared.” Jongdae feels his cheeks flush as he remembers Liyin waiting for an answer. He would be convinced that it was a prank, except no one had nothing but nice things to say about Liyin. “She gave me her number and said to let her know.”
“You’re going to say yes, of course,” Baekhyun says. “I can’t believe you’ve gone from never dating to dating someone like Liyin.”
“Can you relax?” Kyungsoo cuts in. “She didn’t ask you out. Just pipe down.”
ϟ
“Do you actually have a key to our house?” Jongdae demands when he finds Sehun already waiting when he gets home. He swears Sehun beats him there most of the time. It doesn’t even faze him anymore when Sehun follows him up to his room. He hates that he’s a little used to this now.
“Girls.”
Jongdae raises an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”
”Girls,” Sehun repeats, throwing his backpack down and dropping down on Jongdae’s bed. “I hadn’t considered them. You know. Fighting them for you.”
Jongdae rolls his eyes. “Aren’t we getting too old to play this ‘you’re mine’ game?”
“Who’s playing?” Sehun demands. “I mean, I know you think I’m too young and blah blah blah some other boring stuff, so I’ll wait. Because in two years, this won’t matter. Anyway you can go experimenting until you’re ready to date me.”
“Thanks for your permission,” Jongdae deadpans.
“So are you going to go out with her?” Sehun is watching him like he’s genuinely curious now.
“Apparently I’d be crazy not to.”
Sehun gives him a funny look. “What does that have to do with anything? Do you like her?”
Jongdae stares at him, feeling puzzled. He feels a little like maybe Sehun is right. The two year age gap between them is starting to matter less and less because he can’t imagine that he’d ever be talking to Sehun about dating someone.
“Not really.” He realizes how bad that sounds and he quickly adds, “I mean, she’s nice but I don’t like her like that.”
“Okay,” Sehun says simply.
Jongdae watches him dig through his backpack for a few moments and then he just blurts it out, “I’m not sure I like girls in general like that.”
Sehun’s head shoots up and he looks surprised. “Oh,” he says, the corners of his lips pulling down into a frown.
Jongdae wants. To. Die. He can’t believe that he just came out to Sehun. Out of all the people in his life.
“It’s cool,” Sehun says quickly when he sees the look on Jongdae’s face. “I mean, not that you need my permission or anything. I just mean, you know...I’m not judging or whatever.” He smiles slightly. “Hey, less competition for me, right?”
Jongdae snorts. “You’re not actually going to date me.”
“Why? I’ve been after you since I was two.”
Jongdae narrows his eyes. “Are you…?” Realistically, he knows that it’s not weird to be talking to a fourteen-year old about this because it’s not like he and Kyungsoo, Chanyeol and Baekhyun hadn’t talked about these things when they were fourteen. But it’s just a little strange because it’s Sehun.
Sehun shrugs. “I don’t have a particular preference. It’s all good.”
“So I have more competition then,” Jongdae jokes.
Sehun tilts his head. “Hardly.”
Jongdae smacks him in the face with a pillow. “You’re a creep, Sehun. I can’t wait until you start dating someone.”
ϟ
Coming out to his friends is pretty anti-climactic. Mostly because as soon as he said it, Chanyeol had chimed in with a “Me too!”
“Yeah, we figured that out when we were fourteen,” Kyungsoo tells Chanyeol, pulling out his Advanced Physics textbook and flipping open to the assigned pages for his homework.
“So that it’s? We’re cool?” Chanyeol looks at them unsurely.
Baekhyun shrugs. “Why wouldn’t we be?”
Jongdae gives Chanyeol a strange look when he turns to him expectantly. “Well, I obviously don’t care. I said it first.”
"Oh, right.” Chanyeol nods. “Great. Cool.”
ϟ
The first time he kisses Chanyeol is during a game of Spin the Bottle.
It’s stupid and cliché and he can’t believe that out of all the boys that the bottle could’ve pointed to, he gets Chanyeol. But so far, the bottle had given him girls and sure, Yuri and Joohyun were nice to kiss, but he wasn’t really into it.
He’s surprised at how nervous Chanyeol seems because he had taken kissing Tiffany and Jongin in stride. Jongin. Jongdae supposes he should count himself lucky he got Chanyeol and not Jongin or- he glances up and sees Sehun watching Chanyeol approach him.
Jongdae doesn’t dwell on it because Chanyeol reaches out to tilt Jongdae’s face up towards his and Jongdae almost flinches because he was expecting a quick peck, not this semi-intimate gesture.
Chanyeol leans in and kisses him hurriedly before he scampers back to his spot in the circle, his face red.
Jongdae feels his own face heat up and he’s a little disappointed. His kisses with Yuri and Joohyun had been longer. He’s pretty sure Chanyeol had spent more than a nanosecond when he kissed Jongin.
It’s only after Kyungsoo has to kiss Tao, Sehun’s friend, that Jongdae realizes that Sehun has disappeared.
ϟ
Chanyeol finds him in the kitchen later when he opts out of the next game, which involved making out with someone in a closet. He’ll kiss a girl but he doesn’t really want to do more than that.
“Sorry,” Chanyeol says.
“Why?” Jongdae grabs a Coke from the fridge just so he can do something with his hands. He’s never been nervous around Chanyeol before so he’s not sure why he is now. “It was a game. And just a kiss.”
Chanyeol seems a little amused. “You seemed disappointed.”
“It wasn’t much of a kiss,” Jongdae says, mostly to wipe that look off Chanyeol’s face but also because it’s true.
“I’m sorry, I was nervous,” Chanyeol says laughing.
“Weren’t nervous with Jongin,” Jongdae mutters. He’s surprised when he looks up from fiddling with the pop tab on the can because when did Chanyeol get so close?
“Yeah, it’s not a lot of pressure kissing people you don’t really like.”
Oh. Jongdae can’t think of anything else to say, but then Chanyeol does that thing where he tilts Jongdae’s face up towards his, and Jongdae wonders if his spine really is melting or if it’s just him.
He knows it’s going to be a better kiss the second he feels Chanyeol’s lips against his. Chanyeol seems tentative until Jongdae presses back and lets himself relax into the kiss. He knows everyone thinks Chanyeol is loud and has too much energy, but he kisses Jongdae the way he really is- warm and slow and surprisingly soft.
Jongdae only remembers he’s holding the can of Coke just before he drops it and it gets all over Chanyeol’s shoes.
ϟ
“So you and Chanyeol.”
Jongdae can’t remember when Sehun started sleeping over at his place after parties instead of going home, but he doesn’t question much about his friendship with Sehun. It’s developing in strange ways, and if he thinks about it too much, it makes him feel weird so he just tries not to think about it at all.
“Do you like him?”
Jongdae can’t help the way his toes curl because he’s happy. He’s glad Sehun can’t see them. “Yeah, I do.”
Sehun is quiet for a few moments. “Good,” he says finally.
Jongdae turns his face towards him but Sehun is staring up at the ceiling. “Yeah?”
Sehun smiles. “Yes. I want you to be happy.”
“Do you think he likes me?”
Sehun laughs. “I’m pretty sure he does. He gets this really dopey look on his face when he looks at you.”
He sounds a little funny so Jongdae changes the topic. “I saw you with Tao when I was leaving. He’s cute.”
“He is,” Sehun agrees. After awhile he adds, “He also likes your friend. The angry one.”
Jongdae rolls his eyes. “You know his name.”
“Yeah, but I still refer to them as the Angry One, Toaster and...I won’t tell you what I call Chanyeol since you guys are dating now.”
Jongdae isn’t sure they’re dating yet. They hadn’t really talked about it. Just kissed a lot. “Thanks,” he says anyway.
ϟ
He and Chanyeol are together for three years. It’s good. Until it isn’t. Their break up isn’t a big explosive thing. It finishes quietly. Jongdae learns that loving someone isn’t the same as being in love with him. But he’s not sorry.
He knows a lot of people who are best friends and are too afraid to take the chance to be something more and he’s glad that he and Chanyeol gave it a shot.
Still. Mutual break ups don’t hurt any less.
“Why am I crying?” Jongdae wails, swiping at his face. “I’m not even sad.” He looks at Baekhyun, who’s watching him in worry. “Am I?”
“You probably are a little,” Baekhyun says, putting an arm around him.
“But I wanted this,” Jongdae says. “What are...why do the tears keep coming!”
Baekhyun laughs quietly as he pulls him closer. “Jongdae, it’s okay. Just because you both decided to end it doesn’t mean you can’t be sad.”
Jongdae buries his face in Baekhyun’s neck, sniffling quietly. “I miss him,” he says, before he starts actually crying and he’s not even sure why because Chanyeol hasn’t gone anywhere. He’ll see him tomorrow.
“I know,” Baekhyun says, rubbing his back.
ϟ
Jongdae goes home for the weekend because he can’t stand the thought of being around the dorms without classes to keep his mind busy. Plus he’d occupied most of Baekhyun and Kyungsoo’s time this week, he figures Chanyeol should get some time with his best friends too.
Jongdae knows they’ll be okay eventually but he’s surprised at how much it hurts right now and how hard it is to have to share Baekhyun and Kyungsoo.
He spends most of Saturday in his room, trying to work on a paper that’s due in two weeks.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were home?” Sehun demands as he barges into his room. It’s only been a few months since Jongdae last saw him, but he’s grown taller.
“You can stop growing now,” Jongdae says, turning back to his paper.
Sehun frowns. “What happened?”
Jongdae sighs because his face always gives him away. “Chanyeol and I broke up.”
“Hey.” Sehun puts a hand on his shoulder and turns him around. “I’m sorry. Really.”
“I know,” Jongdae says, reaching up to squeeze the hand Sehun has on his shoulder. “Thanks.”
“There’s a party at my place tonight,” Sehun says. “You should come. Get drunk and be full of regrets tomorrow morning.”
ϟ
Jongdae does get drunk. Albeit not at Sehun’s party. He figures he’s already sad enough without showing up at a high school party when he’s already in college.
Sehun shows up in his room close to 1 in the morning.
“Is your party over?” Jongdae asks, even though he automatically rolls over to make room for Sehun on his bed. “Kind of a lame party if it ends so early.”
“No, it’s still going on,” Sehun says. “Jongin’s in charge.” When Jongdae just hums in reply, he turns towards him. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” Jongdae says, before he laughs a little. “It’s probably the alcohol talking though.”
Sehun smiles before he turns away to face the ceiling.
“I am okay, Sehun,” Jongdae says after a few minutes have passed. “You don’t have to stay here and babysit me. Go enjoy your party.”
“I want to be here,” Sehun says. “I missed you.”
“Yeah, me too,” Jongdae mumbles, closing his eyes. “Starting high school without you was great. Starting college without you is just weird.” He’s lying because starting high school without Sehun was strange too.
“I would probably miss me too,” Sehun agrees.
Jongdae laughs, his eyes still closed. This is comforting, he thinks. He likes that he doesn’t have to share Sehun.
“I really am sorry about Chanyeol.”
Jongdae hums sleepily.
“Also surprised,” Sehun continues. “I told you how he used to look at you, right?”
“Mm hmm.” Jongdae feels like the entire week is catching up to him because he’s suddenly just so tired.
“He used to look at you...well, the way I do.”
Jongdae is pretty sure he dreamed that last part.
ϟ
“So…” Baekhyun slides on to the bench next to Jongdae and bumps right into him. “Guess who’s in the English class I’m a TA for.”
Kyungsoo lifts his head up from his laptop and opens his mouth, before his face crumples. “I’m too tired to think of something rude,” he says, turning back to the screen.
“I wasn’t talking to you anyway,” Baekhyun says turning back to Jongdae. “Sehun.” He ignores the derisive snort Kyungsoo lets out at that. “Summer was very good to him. I think he’s as tall as Chanyeol now.”
Jongdae grimaces. Sehun was definitely inching close to Chanyeol’s height, and Baekhyun was right, summer was good for him. Most of the first years seemed to think so. He’s lost count of how many different people he’s seen hanging off Sehun and it’s only the second week back.
“Thoughts?” Baekhyun asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Thoughts?”
“Are you going to ask him out or what?”
Jongdae can’t see Kyungsoo behind his laptop but he’s pretty sure he’s rolling his eyes. “I think he’s dating that kid we know from high school. Tao.”
Kyungsoo chokes and coughs loudly. “He and Tao are not dating,” he says crossly.
Baekhyun laughs. “Look, you made him mad.”
Jongdae studies Kyungsoo. “I thought you guys broke up after high school?”
“Yeah, so we could date other people. We said we’d try again if we were both still interested when he got to college.”
“Great, thanks for the most vanilla love story ever,” Baekhyun says, waving a hand at him. “So Sehun is free.”
“Free is a relative term with him,” Kyungsoo says. “He’s out every night.”
“Which works out very well for you and Tao, I’m sure,” Baekhyun says. “Nice empty dorm room all to yourselves.”
“Well, your ass is always home in ratty sweats, stuffing your face with food,” Kyungsoo says scowling. “It’s hard to do anything in our room when you’re grading papers or yelling at the T.V. Why are you bothering Jongdae? At least he’s dating people. You’re the one who needs to get out more.”
“I am just biding my time until Kim Taeyeon realizes we’re soulmates,” Baekhyun says.
Kyungsoo snorts. “Yeah, you’re going to date a famous pop star.”
Jongdae tunes them out when he sees Sehun enter the library, with an armful of books. It surprises him a little because Sehun wasn’t particular about his grades. “I’ll be right back,” he says. He doesn’t need to because they’re still bickering.
Sehun looks surprised when Jongdae sits down next to him, but an easy smile settles on his face.
“I heard Baekhyun’s the TA for your English class.”
Sehun actually seems confused by this. “I didn’t realize Toaster was in my class.”
“You probably shouldn’t call him that since he’ll be grading your papers and stuff,” Jongdae points out.
“I’ll try to bite my tongue,” Sehun says in a way that lets Jongdae know he will do no such thing. “So what can I do for you? I’m usually the one who has to track you down.”
Jongdae hesitates. It’s Sehun. Sehun’s one of the few people he doesn’t doubt himself around and he’d hate to lose that, especially since he and Chanyeol were just getting back to a good place with each other. But he remembers how glad he was that he and Chanyeol had given it a try. Plus Sehun is right, he’s always the one doing the chasing.
“Are you dating anyone?”
Sehun’s eyebrows rise high. “I’m dating a bunch of people.”
Jongdae was expecting that. “I should be one of them.”
Sehun’s jaw drops slightly. “You want to go out on a date?”
Jongdae tries to think about the last time Sehun has said something inappropriate to him and he honestly can’t remember. It hadn’t occurred to him that Sehun could have gotten over him. “If you’re still interested.”
ϟ
Jongdae’s going to be sick.
“I can’t do it,” he whines into his pillow. “Call him and cancel the date.” He holds out his phone to his roommate. “Tell him I’m sick. Or I’m dead.”
“Dying before a first date is very rude,” Yixing says seriously. “Why are you freaking out? Haven’t you known this kid since you were four or something?”
Jongdae whines again. “Yeah, but he’s liked me forever.”
Yixing stops strumming his guitar to stare at him. “Wow, I feel so sorry for you,” he says. “Dating someone who’s liked you for a long time. You’re right, you should call off the date.”
Jongdae sits up to throw his pillow at Yixing. “You don’t get it.”
“I really don’t.”
“Sehun’s liked me since we were kids. I feel like…” Jongdae flails his arms around as he tries to find the right words. “What if he doesn’t actually like me? What if he just thinks he likes me because he did when we were younger?”
Yixing shrugs. “I loved apple pie when I was a kid but now I can’t stand it.”
“That’s not the same thing!”
“Okay, fine. I get what you’re saying. But what if he just actually likes you?”
Jongdae groans and he flops over on his bed.
“Well, I’m not telling him you’re dead,” Yixing says,
ϟ
It’s not that Jongdae has a problem walking around, it’s just that he usually walks towards something. After they pass by the same coffee shop for the third time, he asks Sehun where they’re going.
“I don’t know,” Sehun admits, coming to a halt.
Jongdae blinks. “Okay,” he says slowly. “So what about coffee then?” He gestures to the coffee shop they keep passing by and Sehun nods.
He seems tense but he holds the door open for Jongdae and pulls out his chair for him once they’re inside. It makes Jongdae feel a little ridiculous but Sehun had offered him bright smiles when he did both those things, so he doesn’t say anything.
There’s an awkward silence after they order their coffees and Jongdae feels a little like his skin is crawling.
“Was this a bad idea?” he blurts out at the same time that Sehun says, “Here’s the thing.”
Sehun blinks as he takes in what Jongdae said. “No,” he says, looking genuinely upset. “Do you think this is a bad idea?”
“No. I mean, I don’t know. We’ve never had awkward silences before.” When Sehun doesn’t offer a reply, Jongdae asks, “What’s the thing?”
Sehun’s lips press together in a tight line like he’s trying to figure out if he still wants to tell Jongdae what “the thing” is. “Okay, but don’t laugh. Or least don’t laugh too much.”
Jongdae feels too nervous to do much of anything so he just nods.
“I’ve been planning our first date since I was six.” Sehun laughs quietly at himself but he refuses to look at Jongdae. “I mean, it was a bunch of stupid stuff. Like when I was six, there was this candy store my mom always took me to if I was good, and I always used to think that I’d take you there because the lady behind the counter always let me have extra candy.
"When I was ten, there was this ice cream place Jongin’s parents took us to. It was so good but super fancy and expensive. But I saved up my money for three weeks. Which is a really long time when you're a kid and when you end up being the only one who didn't get the new Superman comic.
"When I was thirteen, I was going to take you for bubble tea. Mostly because I like bubble tea. It was really hard when I was fifteen because I didn't just want to take you to dinner and a movie. So I generally still planned to take you out for bubble tea and then see what you wanted to do.
"But then you missed your class field trip to the planetarium three towns away because you were sick so I was going to take you there. By the way, it was boring as fuck, I went with my class and it was terrible." He finally meets Jongdae's eyes and he scowls.
Jongdae still hasn't been to the planetarium. He'd forgotten all about it but now he remembers how upset he was.
"I'll still take you," Sehun says quickly. "If you still haven't been there and want to go."
"You just said you hated it," Jongdae laughs.
"I don't care what we do. Plus your face gets all glowy when you get excited about this nerd stuff." Sehun laughs when Jongdae kicks him under the table. "What? I like your weird glowy face," he says reaching out for Jongdae's hand.
"So what happened tonight?" Jongdae asks, dropping his fingers in between Sehun's so he can curl them together.
"I don't know, I wanted to do something really great and go all out," Sehun says looking sheepish. "But then I also just wanted to be with you. So I thought I'd just wing it. I figured I'd see you and I'd know what to do. But I mean." He gestures at Jongdae. "You opened the door and you were all…looking like…"
"I'm just going to assume that the end of these sentences are good," Jongdae says grinning. "This is nice too."
"Not very fancy though."
"Next time," Jongdae says. "I'll do the planning."
"Probably for the best," Sehun agrees.
ϟ
"The next date will be better," Sehun promises again at the end of the night when he's dropping Jongdae off.
"I know,” Jongdae says. “I’m planning it.”
Sehun smiles and Jongdae knows it’s the same smile he’s given him since they were kids, but it still makes his insides feel like they’re liquefying. He raises an eyebrow when he hears Sehun hum in contentment.
“What?”
“I like that look,” Sehun says, stepping in closer. “That’s your I’m happy look. That’s your toes-are-curling kind of happy look.”
“Sehun,” Jongdae says as he draws his arm around his neck. “I’d really rather kiss you than punch you so don’t ruin the moment.”
Sehun leans in touching their foreheads together. “I’ve been chasing you since I was four. I think I deserve to be a little smug.” His fingers fan out across Jongdae’s cheek as he pulls him in closer.
As Sehun kisses him, his fingers slowly drift across his neck and along his clavicle before he finally moves his hand down to settle in on Jongdae’s waist. Sehun licks into his mouth, tugging at the little hairs at the nape of his neck and Jongdae can’t help the whimper that he lets out.
He feels Sehun’s lips curve into a smile and it’s only when he feels Sehun’s mumble something against his lips that he pulls away slightly.
“What did you say?”
“Mine,” Sehun says, drawing him in again.
------
[x] happy birthday, my bb funsponge. ily and i hope you like this. <3 i'm sorry this isn't golden trio fic but y'know. MAYBE NEXT YEAR.
sehun/chen (chanyeol/chen)
pg-13
for modelpress
“Are you guys coming over later tonight?” Jongdae asks, grimacing as Kyungsoo starts to roughly shake the sand out of his hair. “Oww, Kyungsoo, that hurts.” He whines as he tries to shove him away but Kyungsoo’s grip tightens on his hair.
“You can’t go back into your home dragging sand in,” Kyungsoo says, crossly. Jongdae thinks he sounds too annoyed for a six-year old, sounds more like a sixty-year old. “Your mothers depend on me to keep you guys kind of clean. I have a reputation.”
“Yeah, all our moms want us to be like ‘that nice boy Kyungsoo,’” Baekhyun says, shaking his head like he’s some sort of puppy. “They don’t know you’re the reason for most of our scabs.”
“At least I don’t eat them.”
“Hey.” Chanyeol sounds offended. “That was one time.”
Jongdae swipes at Kyungsoo’s hand one last time. “Stop it,” he says, shaking sand out of his own hair. “But you guys are coming over tonight, right?”
“Of course,” Kyungsoo says.
“Not you,” Jongdae says, sticking a tongue out at him. “I know you’re coming over. Our dads are best friends. I’m doomed to be friends with you forever. You’re just boring around all the adults. Kyungsoo, show everyone what you learned in your piano class this week, Kyungsoo, sing us that song you learned in choir practice.”
“Excuse me for having talents that don’t include how far I can stick my finger up my nose.”
“Boring talents,” Baekhyun mutters.
Jongdae tugs on Chanyeol’s hand. “So you’re coming, right?” He catches the look Baekhyun and Chanyeol exchange. “What? What’s going on?”
“Is that weird kid going to be there?” Baekhyun asks.
“What weird- you mean, Sehun?”
Chanyeol makes a face. “Brat,” he grumbles, rubbing his ankle.
Jongdae pauses. “He’s not that bad,” he says weakly, and Baekhyun snorts in response.
“He bit Chanyeol on his ankle the last time we were over,” Baekhyun says. “Just because you were watching a movie with him and you left to play with us. And he scratched me when I tried to sit next to you at the dinner table.”
“He’s just a little kid. He’ll get over it. You said you were going to marry Chanyeol’s ferret when we were four,” Kyungsoo says, and Baekhyun promptly shoves him facedown into the sand.
ϟ
“Jongdae?” His mother pokes her head into his room and frowns when she sees him trying to squeeze himself into his closet. “What are you doing?”
He waves his arms at her. “Mom, go away. I don’t want-”
“Jongdae!” The door flies wide open and all Jongdae sees is a tiny blur before there’s something gripping his shirt tight. “I was looking for you.”
Jongdae sends his mother an unhappy look, before he sighs. “Hi, Sehun.”
Sehun shrugs, before he slips his hands into Jongdae’s.
Jongdae cringes. “Why are your hands sticky?”
“Oh, my dad gave me ice cream before we left the house,” Sehun says, tightening his grip on Jongdae’s hand. “It was my favourite. Chocolate. Do you want some?” He stops. “No, wait, I ate it all.” He disentangles their hands and holds his out in front of Jongdae’s face. “You can lick some of it off my hand. I haven’t washed my hands yet.”
“Mooooom!” Jongdae complains.
Jongdae’s mother laughs before she intervenes. “Come on, Sehunnie,” she says, taking him gently by the shoulders. “We have chocolate ice cream in the freezer, you and Jongdae can have some together after dinner.”
“Okay,” Sehun says brightly. “I’ll be right back, hyung! Wait for me.”
ϟ
Jongdae crawls as far under his bed as he can possibly manage. Sehun hasn’t left him alone all evening- an evening that Jongdae has spent running away, but Sehun just thinks they’re playing a game, and he has little legs but he’s still fast.
Baekhyun and Chanyeol haven’t arrived yet, and Kyungsoo is willingly mingling with the adults, Jongdae doesn’t know why they even bother with him. They should disown him. He’s an embarrassment to six-year olds everywhere.
Jongdae’s mom has a new friend over for the party, and the new friend has a son that’s Sehun’s age. Jongdae had hoped that would free him.
“Sehun, this is Jongin,” Jongdae’s mother says, and the new boy peeks out behind his dad’s legs. “Jongin, this is Sehun. You two are the same age.”
“Hi,” Jongin says shyly.
See, he’s cute. Why couldn’t Sehun be cute and shy like this kid?
“Why are you so small?” Sehun demands, and Jongdae rolls his eyes.
“Because I’m not big,” Jongin answers, looking confused.
Jongdae’s mother and Jongin’s father exchange laughs before she puts a hand on Jongdae’s shoulder. “This is my son, Jongdae. He’s a little older, so maybe you and Sehun can-”
“Mine!” Sehun puts both of his arms around Jongdae’s waist, burying his face in his back. “Jongdae is mine! You can’t have him. He’s mine.”
Jongin looks up at Jongdae with wide eyes and he can’t tell if he’s being pitied by a four-year old or if he’s terrified of Sehun, which he can’t be blamed for.
So when Sehun momentarily leaves his side to go to the bathroom- Jongdae is glad for tiny bladders- he grabs his chance and looks for somewhere to hide. He’s pretty sure he’s safe under the bed when the door to his room opens and he sees Sehun’s shoes step in.
“Jongdae?”
Jongdae feels a little bad because Sehun’s just a little kid and he just wants someone to play with. Jongdae has always had Kyungsoo so it never bothered him that Jongdeok considered him too young to play with, but Sehun doesn’t have anyone.
No, Jongdae thinks. Sehun has that Jongin kid, he should be friends with kids his own age.
He’s so sure he’s found the right hiding spot that when Sehun’s head suddenly appears right in front of his face, he jumps and hits his head on the frame of his bed
“What are you doing?” Sehun asks, looking puzzled.
“Hiding,” Jongdae growls.
To his horror, Sehun perks up and crawls in next to him. “This is fun,” he says, squeezing in next to Jongdae, even though there’s more than enough room under the bed for Sehun to not be invading his personal space. “I like hiding.”
Jongdae sighs because now he’s trapped in an enclosed space with him. “Sehunnie, don’t you want to go play with Jongin?”
Sehun crinkles his nose. “No, I want to play with you.”
“But Jongin needs a friend,” Jongdae tries. “Maybe we can-“
“No!” Sehun shoves his face in Jongdae’s neck, gripping his shirt tight. “You’re only mine.”
Jongdae rolls his eyes because he’s been refuting this since Sehun had laid his claim on him when he was two. “You should learn how to share.”
“I know how to share,” Sehun says with all the indignation a four-year old can manage. “I’m just not sharing you.”
“Jongdae?”
Jongdae lifts his head and he recognizes Baekhyun’s beaten up sneakers. He’s about to slide out when Sehun clamps a tight hand over his mouth.
“We’re hiding,” he whispers.
“Come on, Baek, he’s not here,” Chanyeol’s voice floats down to where Jongdae is being held hostage by a four-year old. “Let’s go rescue Kyungsoo from the adults.”
“Yeah, sure. Rescue.”
Sehun only lets go when they leave. “Hiding is fun,” he repeats, grinning wide.
ϟ
Sehun gets upset when his mother comes to pick him up from Jongdae’s house to take him home. Upset is an understatement, but it’s nothing new.
That’s how their summer is going so far. Sehun’s mother drops him off before she goes to work and they are forced to endure a morning with him, playing games where Sehun pretends the other three don’t exist.
“What’s the point of hide and seek when he only looks for you?” Chanyeol complains.
“Sehun, you can’t attack us every time we grab Jongdae,” Kyungsoo says, rubbing his cheek that’s still sore from where Sehun had swung his fist at it. “That’s the point of catch!”
It’s always a relief when they see Sehun’s mom’s car pull up.
“Can I come over later?” Sehun asks uselessly.
“We’re going to be at Chanyeol’s house after lunch,” Kyungsoo says, just as uselessly.
Jongdae is sure Sehun’s mother has caught on to how they are always conveniently either at Chanyeol or Baekhyun’s house after lunch, whose parents she doesn’t know. It’s a pain to bike all the way over to their homes but it’s the sacrifice they make so they can at least have Sehun-free afternoons.
“And Jongin’s coming over to play with you after lunch and your nap,” Sehun’s mother tells him patiently. “Now say bye.”
“I don’t like Jongin!”
“Bye, Sehunnie,” Baekhyun says sweetly, linking his arms through Jongdae’s.
Sehun’s eyes narrow and he tries to charge forward but his mother has a tight grip on his hand. She says goodbye and leaves with a handful of angry Sehun.
“You know he’s going to attempt to claw your eyes out tomorrow,” Jongdae says, unlinking their arms.
“He’s eight,” Baekhyun says. “I’m not afraid of him.”
ϟ
“We’re finally going to be in high school!” Jongdae flops down on top of Chanyeol, who’s laying on Kyungsoo’s bed when he gets the wind knocked out of him.
“I don’t know why you’re so excited about being on the bottom of the food chain,” Baekhyun mumbles, as he watches Kyungsoo hold up a shirt. “Who cares what you wear tomorrow? No one’s going to be looking at us, we’re freshmen.”
“I think you’re missing the bigger picture,” Jongdae says, squirming around trying to get comfortable. It’s hard because Chanyeol had a ridiculous growth spurt that summer and is all bones and limbs.
“Stop.” Chanyeol stills him by resting his hands on his waist. “Stop squirming.”
“Yeah, it’s not good for his dick,” Baekhyun says. He makes a face at the shirt Kyungsoo is holding up now. “Why do you own a shirt that is lime green? Where did you even get that?”
Jongdae sits up when he realizes that Baekhyun is right. Chanyeol is having a problem. “Uhh, sorry,” he says.
Chanyeol flushes. “It’s fine. It’s not you, it’s-”
“It goes up for anything,” Baekhyun says. “I gave him a fruit cup yesterday and he got a boner.” He yelps when Chanyeol pinches the back of his neck.
“Jongdae is right,” Kyungsoo interrupts.
They all pause and stare at him because none of them are ever right.
“You’re missing the bigger picture,” he continues, pulling out a white button up and grinning when Baekhyun gives him a non-committal shrug. “High school is a brand new chapter for us. New classes, new subjects, new friends-”
“Maybe we can finally get rid of you this year,” Baekhyun says.
“I was looking through one of Jongdeok’s textbooks,” Kyungsoo says, ignoring Baekhyun. “The Advanced Physics one, and I can’t wait until I can take that.”
Baekhyun looks appalled. “How are we even friends with you?”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I agree. I should have left all of you in the dust years ago.”
“Actually,” Jongdae says, “I was talking about how we get two whole Sehun-free years before he gets to high school. This summer was so nice without him.”
Chanyeol grunts in agreement. “And yet the scars we got before he left for his grandparents’ house haven’t healed yet.”
“They will never heal,” Baekhyun says mournfully. “We should have just let Sehun have you, Jongdae. I’m still not sure you were worth all the trouble.”
ϟ
It’s actually kind of weird without Sehun hanging off him though. Jongdae is used to him always being around, he’s like some ghost limb because Jongdae keeps waiting to feel an arm drop on his shoulder and for someone to barrel into him from behind.
He doesn’t miss him exactly. He’s gotten used to seeing Sehun almost everyday since he was four. It’s just an odd feeling to not see him everywhere.
He’s still startled when he comes home and finds Sehun sitting at the kitchen counter with a glass of chocolate milk in front of him.
“Hyung!” Sehun almost knocks the glass over in his hurry to get to Jongdae. “How was high school?”
Jongdae’s too surprised to resist when Sehun pulls him into a tight hug. Not that he can do much when his arms are pinned to his side. “Weird,” he says, and even he’s surprised that he’s being honest.
Sehun’s eyes are lit up when he pulls away and Jongdae notices the chocolate milk mustache on his upper lip. “Weird because I’m not there?”
Jongdae rolls his eyes. “No. It’s just different, that’s all.”
“Did you miss me?” Sehun grins wide and the chocolate milk mustache looks even more ridiculous with his mouth stretched out.
“No,” Jongdae answers. “How did you like staying with your grandparents?”
Sehun shrugs. “They’re okay. They only had banana milk at their place though. Gross.” He wrinkles his nose before he turns back to Jongdae, looking cross. “You didn’t make any new friends, did you?”
“Sehun. High school is supposed to be about making new friends.”
“Why?” Sehun looks genuinely perplexed. “You already have me...and those other three. Why do you need more friends?”
Jongdae gives him a funny look. “Because it’s normal. You should make new friends.”
Sehun waves a dismissive hand. “I have Jongin. I don’t want anyone else.”
Jongdae supposes he should feel lucky that Sehun doesn’t mention that he also has Jongdae, but he just feels sort of weird instead of relieved, so he ignores it. “You have chocolate milk on your face,” he says, throwing a napkin at him.
ϟ
The first two years of high school fly by fast, albeit not as Sehun-less as Jongdae would have liked it to be. Sure, Sehun had warmed up to Jongin but it didn’t mean he spent any less time around Jongdae. It just meant that he dragged Jongin with him when he came over.
Sehun in high school is something Jongdae wasn’t expecting. Much like Chanyeol, he goes through a growth spurt but unlike Chanyeol, he skips right past the awkward phase and straight into good-looking. Which is just rude really.
“Did you just call the brat good-looking?” Kyungsoo curls his lip. “Your taste makes me sad.”
As if he’s heard his name, Sehun strolls up to their table and drops down next to Jongdae. “I heard Liyin asked you out.”
Jongdae wants to hit him for opening his mouth.
“No one asked you to join us, freshman,” Baekhyun says. “Why don’t you run off and go sit with the rest of your puny friends?”
Sehun blinks at him. “Puny friends? That’s a lot of big talk from someone who has the height of a toaster.”
“And you have the brains of one,” Baekhyun shoot backs. “Go away.”
Sehun rolls his eye. “Fine. I’ll talk to you later,” he says to Jongdae, smiling at him and when did Sehun start smiling that way?
“Liyin asked you out?” Baekhyun demands as soon as Sehun leaves. “Zhang Liyin? The senior? The senior?”
“Yeah,” Jongdae answers awkwardly. “She just asked me before lunch.”
Chanyeol stares at him in wonderment. “When are you going out?”
“I didn’t say yes.”
Baekhyun gapes. “You didn’t say no!”
“No. I didn’t really say anything. I just kind of stared.” Jongdae feels his cheeks flush as he remembers Liyin waiting for an answer. He would be convinced that it was a prank, except no one had nothing but nice things to say about Liyin. “She gave me her number and said to let her know.”
“You’re going to say yes, of course,” Baekhyun says. “I can’t believe you’ve gone from never dating to dating someone like Liyin.”
“Can you relax?” Kyungsoo cuts in. “She didn’t ask you out. Just pipe down.”
ϟ
“Do you actually have a key to our house?” Jongdae demands when he finds Sehun already waiting when he gets home. He swears Sehun beats him there most of the time. It doesn’t even faze him anymore when Sehun follows him up to his room. He hates that he’s a little used to this now.
“Girls.”
Jongdae raises an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”
”Girls,” Sehun repeats, throwing his backpack down and dropping down on Jongdae’s bed. “I hadn’t considered them. You know. Fighting them for you.”
Jongdae rolls his eyes. “Aren’t we getting too old to play this ‘you’re mine’ game?”
“Who’s playing?” Sehun demands. “I mean, I know you think I’m too young and blah blah blah some other boring stuff, so I’ll wait. Because in two years, this won’t matter. Anyway you can go experimenting until you’re ready to date me.”
“Thanks for your permission,” Jongdae deadpans.
“So are you going to go out with her?” Sehun is watching him like he’s genuinely curious now.
“Apparently I’d be crazy not to.”
Sehun gives him a funny look. “What does that have to do with anything? Do you like her?”
Jongdae stares at him, feeling puzzled. He feels a little like maybe Sehun is right. The two year age gap between them is starting to matter less and less because he can’t imagine that he’d ever be talking to Sehun about dating someone.
“Not really.” He realizes how bad that sounds and he quickly adds, “I mean, she’s nice but I don’t like her like that.”
“Okay,” Sehun says simply.
Jongdae watches him dig through his backpack for a few moments and then he just blurts it out, “I’m not sure I like girls in general like that.”
Sehun’s head shoots up and he looks surprised. “Oh,” he says, the corners of his lips pulling down into a frown.
Jongdae wants. To. Die. He can’t believe that he just came out to Sehun. Out of all the people in his life.
“It’s cool,” Sehun says quickly when he sees the look on Jongdae’s face. “I mean, not that you need my permission or anything. I just mean, you know...I’m not judging or whatever.” He smiles slightly. “Hey, less competition for me, right?”
Jongdae snorts. “You’re not actually going to date me.”
“Why? I’ve been after you since I was two.”
Jongdae narrows his eyes. “Are you…?” Realistically, he knows that it’s not weird to be talking to a fourteen-year old about this because it’s not like he and Kyungsoo, Chanyeol and Baekhyun hadn’t talked about these things when they were fourteen. But it’s just a little strange because it’s Sehun.
Sehun shrugs. “I don’t have a particular preference. It’s all good.”
“So I have more competition then,” Jongdae jokes.
Sehun tilts his head. “Hardly.”
Jongdae smacks him in the face with a pillow. “You’re a creep, Sehun. I can’t wait until you start dating someone.”
ϟ
Coming out to his friends is pretty anti-climactic. Mostly because as soon as he said it, Chanyeol had chimed in with a “Me too!”
“Yeah, we figured that out when we were fourteen,” Kyungsoo tells Chanyeol, pulling out his Advanced Physics textbook and flipping open to the assigned pages for his homework.
“So that it’s? We’re cool?” Chanyeol looks at them unsurely.
Baekhyun shrugs. “Why wouldn’t we be?”
Jongdae gives Chanyeol a strange look when he turns to him expectantly. “Well, I obviously don’t care. I said it first.”
"Oh, right.” Chanyeol nods. “Great. Cool.”
ϟ
The first time he kisses Chanyeol is during a game of Spin the Bottle.
It’s stupid and cliché and he can’t believe that out of all the boys that the bottle could’ve pointed to, he gets Chanyeol. But so far, the bottle had given him girls and sure, Yuri and Joohyun were nice to kiss, but he wasn’t really into it.
He’s surprised at how nervous Chanyeol seems because he had taken kissing Tiffany and Jongin in stride. Jongin. Jongdae supposes he should count himself lucky he got Chanyeol and not Jongin or- he glances up and sees Sehun watching Chanyeol approach him.
Jongdae doesn’t dwell on it because Chanyeol reaches out to tilt Jongdae’s face up towards his and Jongdae almost flinches because he was expecting a quick peck, not this semi-intimate gesture.
Chanyeol leans in and kisses him hurriedly before he scampers back to his spot in the circle, his face red.
Jongdae feels his own face heat up and he’s a little disappointed. His kisses with Yuri and Joohyun had been longer. He’s pretty sure Chanyeol had spent more than a nanosecond when he kissed Jongin.
It’s only after Kyungsoo has to kiss Tao, Sehun’s friend, that Jongdae realizes that Sehun has disappeared.
ϟ
Chanyeol finds him in the kitchen later when he opts out of the next game, which involved making out with someone in a closet. He’ll kiss a girl but he doesn’t really want to do more than that.
“Sorry,” Chanyeol says.
“Why?” Jongdae grabs a Coke from the fridge just so he can do something with his hands. He’s never been nervous around Chanyeol before so he’s not sure why he is now. “It was a game. And just a kiss.”
Chanyeol seems a little amused. “You seemed disappointed.”
“It wasn’t much of a kiss,” Jongdae says, mostly to wipe that look off Chanyeol’s face but also because it’s true.
“I’m sorry, I was nervous,” Chanyeol says laughing.
“Weren’t nervous with Jongin,” Jongdae mutters. He’s surprised when he looks up from fiddling with the pop tab on the can because when did Chanyeol get so close?
“Yeah, it’s not a lot of pressure kissing people you don’t really like.”
Oh. Jongdae can’t think of anything else to say, but then Chanyeol does that thing where he tilts Jongdae’s face up towards his, and Jongdae wonders if his spine really is melting or if it’s just him.
He knows it’s going to be a better kiss the second he feels Chanyeol’s lips against his. Chanyeol seems tentative until Jongdae presses back and lets himself relax into the kiss. He knows everyone thinks Chanyeol is loud and has too much energy, but he kisses Jongdae the way he really is- warm and slow and surprisingly soft.
Jongdae only remembers he’s holding the can of Coke just before he drops it and it gets all over Chanyeol’s shoes.
ϟ
“So you and Chanyeol.”
Jongdae can’t remember when Sehun started sleeping over at his place after parties instead of going home, but he doesn’t question much about his friendship with Sehun. It’s developing in strange ways, and if he thinks about it too much, it makes him feel weird so he just tries not to think about it at all.
“Do you like him?”
Jongdae can’t help the way his toes curl because he’s happy. He’s glad Sehun can’t see them. “Yeah, I do.”
Sehun is quiet for a few moments. “Good,” he says finally.
Jongdae turns his face towards him but Sehun is staring up at the ceiling. “Yeah?”
Sehun smiles. “Yes. I want you to be happy.”
“Do you think he likes me?”
Sehun laughs. “I’m pretty sure he does. He gets this really dopey look on his face when he looks at you.”
He sounds a little funny so Jongdae changes the topic. “I saw you with Tao when I was leaving. He’s cute.”
“He is,” Sehun agrees. After awhile he adds, “He also likes your friend. The angry one.”
Jongdae rolls his eyes. “You know his name.”
“Yeah, but I still refer to them as the Angry One, Toaster and...I won’t tell you what I call Chanyeol since you guys are dating now.”
Jongdae isn’t sure they’re dating yet. They hadn’t really talked about it. Just kissed a lot. “Thanks,” he says anyway.
ϟ
He and Chanyeol are together for three years. It’s good. Until it isn’t. Their break up isn’t a big explosive thing. It finishes quietly. Jongdae learns that loving someone isn’t the same as being in love with him. But he’s not sorry.
He knows a lot of people who are best friends and are too afraid to take the chance to be something more and he’s glad that he and Chanyeol gave it a shot.
Still. Mutual break ups don’t hurt any less.
“Why am I crying?” Jongdae wails, swiping at his face. “I’m not even sad.” He looks at Baekhyun, who’s watching him in worry. “Am I?”
“You probably are a little,” Baekhyun says, putting an arm around him.
“But I wanted this,” Jongdae says. “What are...why do the tears keep coming!”
Baekhyun laughs quietly as he pulls him closer. “Jongdae, it’s okay. Just because you both decided to end it doesn’t mean you can’t be sad.”
Jongdae buries his face in Baekhyun’s neck, sniffling quietly. “I miss him,” he says, before he starts actually crying and he’s not even sure why because Chanyeol hasn’t gone anywhere. He’ll see him tomorrow.
“I know,” Baekhyun says, rubbing his back.
ϟ
Jongdae goes home for the weekend because he can’t stand the thought of being around the dorms without classes to keep his mind busy. Plus he’d occupied most of Baekhyun and Kyungsoo’s time this week, he figures Chanyeol should get some time with his best friends too.
Jongdae knows they’ll be okay eventually but he’s surprised at how much it hurts right now and how hard it is to have to share Baekhyun and Kyungsoo.
He spends most of Saturday in his room, trying to work on a paper that’s due in two weeks.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were home?” Sehun demands as he barges into his room. It’s only been a few months since Jongdae last saw him, but he’s grown taller.
“You can stop growing now,” Jongdae says, turning back to his paper.
Sehun frowns. “What happened?”
Jongdae sighs because his face always gives him away. “Chanyeol and I broke up.”
“Hey.” Sehun puts a hand on his shoulder and turns him around. “I’m sorry. Really.”
“I know,” Jongdae says, reaching up to squeeze the hand Sehun has on his shoulder. “Thanks.”
“There’s a party at my place tonight,” Sehun says. “You should come. Get drunk and be full of regrets tomorrow morning.”
ϟ
Jongdae does get drunk. Albeit not at Sehun’s party. He figures he’s already sad enough without showing up at a high school party when he’s already in college.
Sehun shows up in his room close to 1 in the morning.
“Is your party over?” Jongdae asks, even though he automatically rolls over to make room for Sehun on his bed. “Kind of a lame party if it ends so early.”
“No, it’s still going on,” Sehun says. “Jongin’s in charge.” When Jongdae just hums in reply, he turns towards him. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” Jongdae says, before he laughs a little. “It’s probably the alcohol talking though.”
Sehun smiles before he turns away to face the ceiling.
“I am okay, Sehun,” Jongdae says after a few minutes have passed. “You don’t have to stay here and babysit me. Go enjoy your party.”
“I want to be here,” Sehun says. “I missed you.”
“Yeah, me too,” Jongdae mumbles, closing his eyes. “Starting high school without you was great. Starting college without you is just weird.” He’s lying because starting high school without Sehun was strange too.
“I would probably miss me too,” Sehun agrees.
Jongdae laughs, his eyes still closed. This is comforting, he thinks. He likes that he doesn’t have to share Sehun.
“I really am sorry about Chanyeol.”
Jongdae hums sleepily.
“Also surprised,” Sehun continues. “I told you how he used to look at you, right?”
“Mm hmm.” Jongdae feels like the entire week is catching up to him because he’s suddenly just so tired.
“He used to look at you...well, the way I do.”
Jongdae is pretty sure he dreamed that last part.
ϟ
“So…” Baekhyun slides on to the bench next to Jongdae and bumps right into him. “Guess who’s in the English class I’m a TA for.”
Kyungsoo lifts his head up from his laptop and opens his mouth, before his face crumples. “I’m too tired to think of something rude,” he says, turning back to the screen.
“I wasn’t talking to you anyway,” Baekhyun says turning back to Jongdae. “Sehun.” He ignores the derisive snort Kyungsoo lets out at that. “Summer was very good to him. I think he’s as tall as Chanyeol now.”
Jongdae grimaces. Sehun was definitely inching close to Chanyeol’s height, and Baekhyun was right, summer was good for him. Most of the first years seemed to think so. He’s lost count of how many different people he’s seen hanging off Sehun and it’s only the second week back.
“Thoughts?” Baekhyun asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Thoughts?”
“Are you going to ask him out or what?”
Jongdae can’t see Kyungsoo behind his laptop but he’s pretty sure he’s rolling his eyes. “I think he’s dating that kid we know from high school. Tao.”
Kyungsoo chokes and coughs loudly. “He and Tao are not dating,” he says crossly.
Baekhyun laughs. “Look, you made him mad.”
Jongdae studies Kyungsoo. “I thought you guys broke up after high school?”
“Yeah, so we could date other people. We said we’d try again if we were both still interested when he got to college.”
“Great, thanks for the most vanilla love story ever,” Baekhyun says, waving a hand at him. “So Sehun is free.”
“Free is a relative term with him,” Kyungsoo says. “He’s out every night.”
“Which works out very well for you and Tao, I’m sure,” Baekhyun says. “Nice empty dorm room all to yourselves.”
“Well, your ass is always home in ratty sweats, stuffing your face with food,” Kyungsoo says scowling. “It’s hard to do anything in our room when you’re grading papers or yelling at the T.V. Why are you bothering Jongdae? At least he’s dating people. You’re the one who needs to get out more.”
“I am just biding my time until Kim Taeyeon realizes we’re soulmates,” Baekhyun says.
Kyungsoo snorts. “Yeah, you’re going to date a famous pop star.”
Jongdae tunes them out when he sees Sehun enter the library, with an armful of books. It surprises him a little because Sehun wasn’t particular about his grades. “I’ll be right back,” he says. He doesn’t need to because they’re still bickering.
Sehun looks surprised when Jongdae sits down next to him, but an easy smile settles on his face.
“I heard Baekhyun’s the TA for your English class.”
Sehun actually seems confused by this. “I didn’t realize Toaster was in my class.”
“You probably shouldn’t call him that since he’ll be grading your papers and stuff,” Jongdae points out.
“I’ll try to bite my tongue,” Sehun says in a way that lets Jongdae know he will do no such thing. “So what can I do for you? I’m usually the one who has to track you down.”
Jongdae hesitates. It’s Sehun. Sehun’s one of the few people he doesn’t doubt himself around and he’d hate to lose that, especially since he and Chanyeol were just getting back to a good place with each other. But he remembers how glad he was that he and Chanyeol had given it a try. Plus Sehun is right, he’s always the one doing the chasing.
“Are you dating anyone?”
Sehun’s eyebrows rise high. “I’m dating a bunch of people.”
Jongdae was expecting that. “I should be one of them.”
Sehun’s jaw drops slightly. “You want to go out on a date?”
Jongdae tries to think about the last time Sehun has said something inappropriate to him and he honestly can’t remember. It hadn’t occurred to him that Sehun could have gotten over him. “If you’re still interested.”
ϟ
Jongdae’s going to be sick.
“I can’t do it,” he whines into his pillow. “Call him and cancel the date.” He holds out his phone to his roommate. “Tell him I’m sick. Or I’m dead.”
“Dying before a first date is very rude,” Yixing says seriously. “Why are you freaking out? Haven’t you known this kid since you were four or something?”
Jongdae whines again. “Yeah, but he’s liked me forever.”
Yixing stops strumming his guitar to stare at him. “Wow, I feel so sorry for you,” he says. “Dating someone who’s liked you for a long time. You’re right, you should call off the date.”
Jongdae sits up to throw his pillow at Yixing. “You don’t get it.”
“I really don’t.”
“Sehun’s liked me since we were kids. I feel like…” Jongdae flails his arms around as he tries to find the right words. “What if he doesn’t actually like me? What if he just thinks he likes me because he did when we were younger?”
Yixing shrugs. “I loved apple pie when I was a kid but now I can’t stand it.”
“That’s not the same thing!”
“Okay, fine. I get what you’re saying. But what if he just actually likes you?”
Jongdae groans and he flops over on his bed.
“Well, I’m not telling him you’re dead,” Yixing says,
ϟ
It’s not that Jongdae has a problem walking around, it’s just that he usually walks towards something. After they pass by the same coffee shop for the third time, he asks Sehun where they’re going.
“I don’t know,” Sehun admits, coming to a halt.
Jongdae blinks. “Okay,” he says slowly. “So what about coffee then?” He gestures to the coffee shop they keep passing by and Sehun nods.
He seems tense but he holds the door open for Jongdae and pulls out his chair for him once they’re inside. It makes Jongdae feel a little ridiculous but Sehun had offered him bright smiles when he did both those things, so he doesn’t say anything.
There’s an awkward silence after they order their coffees and Jongdae feels a little like his skin is crawling.
“Was this a bad idea?” he blurts out at the same time that Sehun says, “Here’s the thing.”
Sehun blinks as he takes in what Jongdae said. “No,” he says, looking genuinely upset. “Do you think this is a bad idea?”
“No. I mean, I don’t know. We’ve never had awkward silences before.” When Sehun doesn’t offer a reply, Jongdae asks, “What’s the thing?”
Sehun’s lips press together in a tight line like he’s trying to figure out if he still wants to tell Jongdae what “the thing” is. “Okay, but don’t laugh. Or least don’t laugh too much.”
Jongdae feels too nervous to do much of anything so he just nods.
“I’ve been planning our first date since I was six.” Sehun laughs quietly at himself but he refuses to look at Jongdae. “I mean, it was a bunch of stupid stuff. Like when I was six, there was this candy store my mom always took me to if I was good, and I always used to think that I’d take you there because the lady behind the counter always let me have extra candy.
"When I was ten, there was this ice cream place Jongin’s parents took us to. It was so good but super fancy and expensive. But I saved up my money for three weeks. Which is a really long time when you're a kid and when you end up being the only one who didn't get the new Superman comic.
"When I was thirteen, I was going to take you for bubble tea. Mostly because I like bubble tea. It was really hard when I was fifteen because I didn't just want to take you to dinner and a movie. So I generally still planned to take you out for bubble tea and then see what you wanted to do.
"But then you missed your class field trip to the planetarium three towns away because you were sick so I was going to take you there. By the way, it was boring as fuck, I went with my class and it was terrible." He finally meets Jongdae's eyes and he scowls.
Jongdae still hasn't been to the planetarium. He'd forgotten all about it but now he remembers how upset he was.
"I'll still take you," Sehun says quickly. "If you still haven't been there and want to go."
"You just said you hated it," Jongdae laughs.
"I don't care what we do. Plus your face gets all glowy when you get excited about this nerd stuff." Sehun laughs when Jongdae kicks him under the table. "What? I like your weird glowy face," he says reaching out for Jongdae's hand.
"So what happened tonight?" Jongdae asks, dropping his fingers in between Sehun's so he can curl them together.
"I don't know, I wanted to do something really great and go all out," Sehun says looking sheepish. "But then I also just wanted to be with you. So I thought I'd just wing it. I figured I'd see you and I'd know what to do. But I mean." He gestures at Jongdae. "You opened the door and you were all…looking like…"
"I'm just going to assume that the end of these sentences are good," Jongdae says grinning. "This is nice too."
"Not very fancy though."
"Next time," Jongdae says. "I'll do the planning."
"Probably for the best," Sehun agrees.
ϟ
"The next date will be better," Sehun promises again at the end of the night when he's dropping Jongdae off.
"I know,” Jongdae says. “I’m planning it.”
Sehun smiles and Jongdae knows it’s the same smile he’s given him since they were kids, but it still makes his insides feel like they’re liquefying. He raises an eyebrow when he hears Sehun hum in contentment.
“What?”
“I like that look,” Sehun says, stepping in closer. “That’s your I’m happy look. That’s your toes-are-curling kind of happy look.”
“Sehun,” Jongdae says as he draws his arm around his neck. “I’d really rather kiss you than punch you so don’t ruin the moment.”
Sehun leans in touching their foreheads together. “I’ve been chasing you since I was four. I think I deserve to be a little smug.” His fingers fan out across Jongdae’s cheek as he pulls him in closer.
As Sehun kisses him, his fingers slowly drift across his neck and along his clavicle before he finally moves his hand down to settle in on Jongdae’s waist. Sehun licks into his mouth, tugging at the little hairs at the nape of his neck and Jongdae can’t help the whimper that he lets out.
He feels Sehun’s lips curve into a smile and it’s only when he feels Sehun’s mumble something against his lips that he pulls away slightly.
“What did you say?”
“Mine,” Sehun says, drawing him in again.
------
[x] happy birthday, my bb funsponge. ily and i hope you like this. <3 i'm sorry this isn't golden trio fic but y'know. MAYBE NEXT YEAR.