The One Where His Lyrics Got Progressively Creepier

[badplanmobile]

To unlock all the glory I see etched into you, deep

I’d love to sink my teeth into the cracks along your mask

I’d love to leave bright bruises on the flawed skin of your back

I heard, I heard, I heard you

Heard the jokes you told yourself

I want, I want, I want you

Like I’ve wanted nothing else

I saw, I saw, I saw you

Saw you carving out

Comments

delightfully creepy, like your roommate

[lady_mckenna]

The line about "put you on stage" I think doesn't have the same rhythm as the rest.

OTHER THAN THAT I LIKE IT. It is definitely creepy.

Meh, I dunno. Maybe it could pass as a poem and not just a song?

Re: delightfully creepy, like your roommate

[badplanmobile]

Yeah, that line threw the rhythm off completely, but there was nothing for it. I think it could work as a musical device, once I actually put music to it.
It could be a poem, I suppose, but I prefer it as a song. I can has band?

Re: delightfully creepy, like your roommate

[lady_mckenna]

You start a band, I'll do stuff for it (paint your faces, draw pictures badly, sing in my limited range, be the hot manager everybody wants to bang, lol, jk)

*Dropped a Cookie Crisp, where the hell did it go*

I like it as either song or poem : )

OH PS- It reminded me of REPO in some ways. Repo Man+Pavi (sorry)

Re: delightfully creepy, like your roommate

[badplanmobile]

It's actually about the Joker. I'm eventually going to write a song about the Repo man called Sexy Murder Monster, thanks to some misheard lyrics.