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[badoingdoing]

The weekend before last, my parents visited. My father had been wanting to have a long conversation with me for a while, and mentioned (in that Way that parents have) that he'd really appreciate it if I found time this summer. My parents had to pick my sister up from her job at a summer camp in MA anyway, so they drove up to visit

Comments

[photonsrain]

I guess I approach swimsuits from a slightly different perspective (trying to hide my thighs and mitigating the need to shave), but it sounds like we wind up doing very much the same thing. There exist sports "bras"/running tops/bathing suit tops designed for small chests (a lot of hardcore female athletes don't develop much in that area), and Quiksilver makes really fun board shorts that fit bodies that aren't as curvy as mine.

Glad your conversation went as well as it did.

[mao4269]

I'm glad they seem to be coming around, however slowly.

While I in no way mean to minimize the problems faced by clothing shopping while visibly trans, for what it's worth, as far as I can tell the vast majority of people have trouble finding a woman's bathing suit that actually fits. I don't know what body shape they're sized for but it doesn't seem to be a very common one.

[redglasses]

Ugh, hooray for the setting adding more horrible notes to an already awkward conversation. Awesome find on the third store, though, you should go back there for future needs.

I've also figured that bathing suit issues would mostly eventually be solved by shorts, but that mostly for lack of hips.

[badoingdoing]

I like the beach! I could do without the everyone-staring-at-me, but everyone stares at me anyway, beach or no beach. And it was too nice of a day to find anything like an otherwise-deserted beach.

Huh, I wasn't even thinking about hips.

[lokiect]

my instinctive internal response was "parents... bathingsuit shopping... two great tastes!... right."

[jude]

this kinda makes me wonder if there exists a website that keeps track of trans/queer friendly establishments like this. maybe someone should start one.

[miraclaire]

I'm glad your parents are starting to come around. For what it's worth, I have spent the last three summers trying to find a new bathing suit that fits (the two I had were bought in the 90s and while I love them, they're starting to fall apart). Three years, and I still just bought one that sorta-kinda worked. I don't even think my body shape is *that* unusual. Bathing suit shopping just really sucks. I'm glad you found someone at the store who was helpful though!

[annag]

fwiw, polyester suits are supposed to withstand chlorine better than lycra/nylon ones.
at least, this is what i hear from people in the swimsuit shop.

[miraclaire]

I would believe that. On the other hand,lasting ten years isn't bad for a bathingsuit. Especially given that for four of those years they were getting daily use in the summer.

[eredien]

Which city sports was this? I should probably bring my business there.

I managed to explain at least a little of my reasoning around gender stuff, and how the decision wasn't really made on a whim or anything. I think my parents spent so much time questioning my decision that they hadn't until now stopped and listened to me describe how I made it. I am glad I'm getting the chance to describe it now.

This is awesome. I am glad that you are reaching that point with your parents. I think sometimes it's hard because all your thinking takes place out of their sight, so it often looks like you've decided something on the spur of the moment because they've missed all the moments leading up to it for the past x years.

[badoingdoing]

The Harvard Square one. I recommend it!

I think part of the problem is that my parents are all frustrated with me for having missed all the moments leading up to it. I don't think they're trying to view it as me betraying them, but I do think they're seeing it a little that way. But back in the day, given their reactions to when I started bringing the stuff up with them, I ended up deciding that I was better off if I hid much of it from them for a while, and so they're really sad that I didn't trust them (whether or not they would have responded better had I trusted them more, I have no idea)