Ficlet: Traumatic Night
Title: Traumatic Night
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Jack, Ianto.
Rating: PG-15
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: It’s not often Ianto seriously considers reaching for the Retcon, but this is one of those times.
Word Count: 500
Written For: Prompt 282: Mention at anythingdrabble.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
“Thanks for rescuing me, by the way.” Jack smiled gratefully as he dusted himself off. Not that it helped much; he still looked like he’d been dragged through the proverbial hedge backwards, then several more times for good measure.
“Don’t mention it,” Ianto said stiffly. “No,” he added when Jack opened his mouth to say something else. “Seriously, don’t mention it. Not to me or anyone else, not now and not ever. If anyone EVER finds out about this, I will kill you myself, and then when you revive, I’ll kill you again. Got that?”
“Yes, Ianto.” Jack hung his head.
“And I think I deserve an apology too, don’t you?”
“You do. I’m sorry, Ianto, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, but I didn’t know who else to call. None of the others would’ve been much help, and if I’d called UNIT in…” Jack trailed off as Ianto visibly shuddered.
“That would have been worse,” he admitted. “SO much worse.”
“You see? I really didn’t have any other choice, but I’m very sorry you had to get out of bed in the middle of the night and drag yourself all the way out here.”
“Maybe if you’d called me when you got the Rift alert and we’d come out here together we might have avoided all… that.” Ianto gestured vaguely behind him.
“Yeah, maybe, but you were tired; I didn’t want to wake you unless I had to. Anyway, I thought I could handle one little retrieval by myself, it’s not like I haven’t done it before. Perhaps if I’d known what had come though I could’ve taken precautions, but… Well, alien aphrodisiacs can have unpredictable effects on species they’re not designed for.”
“Tell me about it. No, I didn’t mean that literally!” Ianto slapped his hand over Jack’s mouth and stared at him wild-eyed, his face pale in the moonlight. “There are some things I just don’t want to know, and that, back there, is top of the list. I’m openminded, but I have my limits, and sheep… I think I may have to Retcon myself.” Slowly he lowered his hand. “Sorry, just… you know.”
“It wasn’t so bad. Could’ve have been worse, could’ve been pigs, or cows.”
“Jack…” There was a note of warning in Ianto’s voice. “You’re not helping.”
“I’m just saying. Sheep aren’t so terrible, they’re warm and woolly, and not too big, it’s just that there were a lot of them.”
“You are going through full decontamination when we get back to the Hub, I hope you realise that. And you’re not coming near me for at least a week, just in case you caught something nasty from them.”
“You can’t be serious!”
“Oh, but I can. I know exactly where you’ve been, and I wish to God I didn’t. Can we please stop talking about this?”
“If that’s what you want.”
“It is.”
“One last thing. My coat got torn; think you can fix it?”
Ianto groaned. “I’m in Hell!”
The End
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Jack, Ianto.
Rating: PG-15
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: It’s not often Ianto seriously considers reaching for the Retcon, but this is one of those times.
Word Count: 500
Written For: Prompt 282: Mention at anythingdrabble.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
“Thanks for rescuing me, by the way.” Jack smiled gratefully as he dusted himself off. Not that it helped much; he still looked like he’d been dragged through the proverbial hedge backwards, then several more times for good measure.
“Don’t mention it,” Ianto said stiffly. “No,” he added when Jack opened his mouth to say something else. “Seriously, don’t mention it. Not to me or anyone else, not now and not ever. If anyone EVER finds out about this, I will kill you myself, and then when you revive, I’ll kill you again. Got that?”
“Yes, Ianto.” Jack hung his head.
“And I think I deserve an apology too, don’t you?”
“You do. I’m sorry, Ianto, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, but I didn’t know who else to call. None of the others would’ve been much help, and if I’d called UNIT in…” Jack trailed off as Ianto visibly shuddered.
“That would have been worse,” he admitted. “SO much worse.”
“You see? I really didn’t have any other choice, but I’m very sorry you had to get out of bed in the middle of the night and drag yourself all the way out here.”
“Maybe if you’d called me when you got the Rift alert and we’d come out here together we might have avoided all… that.” Ianto gestured vaguely behind him.
“Yeah, maybe, but you were tired; I didn’t want to wake you unless I had to. Anyway, I thought I could handle one little retrieval by myself, it’s not like I haven’t done it before. Perhaps if I’d known what had come though I could’ve taken precautions, but… Well, alien aphrodisiacs can have unpredictable effects on species they’re not designed for.”
“Tell me about it. No, I didn’t mean that literally!” Ianto slapped his hand over Jack’s mouth and stared at him wild-eyed, his face pale in the moonlight. “There are some things I just don’t want to know, and that, back there, is top of the list. I’m openminded, but I have my limits, and sheep… I think I may have to Retcon myself.” Slowly he lowered his hand. “Sorry, just… you know.”
“It wasn’t so bad. Could’ve have been worse, could’ve been pigs, or cows.”
“Jack…” There was a note of warning in Ianto’s voice. “You’re not helping.”
“I’m just saying. Sheep aren’t so terrible, they’re warm and woolly, and not too big, it’s just that there were a lot of them.”
“You are going through full decontamination when we get back to the Hub, I hope you realise that. And you’re not coming near me for at least a week, just in case you caught something nasty from them.”
“You can’t be serious!”
“Oh, but I can. I know exactly where you’ve been, and I wish to God I didn’t. Can we please stop talking about this?”
“If that’s what you want.”
“It is.”
“One last thing. My coat got torn; think you can fix it?”
Ianto groaned. “I’m in Hell!”
The End