FAKE Fic: Extra Smoky
Title: Extra Smoky
Fandom: FAKE
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Dee, Ryo.
Rating: PG
Setting: After the manga.
Summary: When it comes to barbecuing, Dee considers himself an expert. This should not be happening!
Word Count: 1159
Written For: Challenge 334: Smoke at fan_flashworks.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.
With spring warming towards summer, and their new relationship blossoming, Dee had declared that on their next day off, weather permitting, he was going to cook dinner for Ryo.
“You’re always cookin’ for me, have been for years; it’s about time I returned the favor, don’t ya think? Maybe I don’t have your culinary skills in the kitchen, but I cook up a mean barbecue. What d’ya say to ribs? I can fix up a side salad so ya get your veggies.”
Ryo smiled warmly at his lover. “Sounds great!”
“The runt’s not invited though; this is strictly adults only. Okay?”
“I’ll see if Bikky can have a sleepover with one of his friends. Failing that, I’ll ask Melinda to keep an eye on him,” Ryo promised.
So here they were, a few days later, Dee’s barbecue grill dragged out of the stairwell where it had been gathering dust all winter, and up onto the roof. Dee had set it up against the surrounding wall, sheltered from the light wind, and had brought a folding table and two chairs out as well. There were plates and cutlery on the table, a bottle of wine and two glasses, plus salad in a covered bowl, and some crusty buttered bread. All that was left was to fire up the barbecue and get the meat cooking.
Ryo watched proceedings curiously. He liked the total control of cooking in a kitchen, where everything was close to hand, and had never used a barbecue, so he wanted to see how it was done. He had a feeling it wasn’t meant to be quite like this though.
“Is there a problem?”
Black smoke was billowing out of the barbecue, obscuring the cooking ribs, and Dee seemed a bit agitated about it.
“It’ll be fine, everything’s under control. It’s just a bit of smoke. The grill hasn’t been used for a while.” Dee’s voice was tight as he flapped about with a dish towel, trying to waft the smoke away, but it was an exercise in futility since the smoke showed no sign of stopping.
Everything had seemed fine to start with. Dee had ignited the charcoal and when it had been hot enough, had laid the ribs out on the grill, which he’d cleaned thoroughly the night before. A few minutes later, the smoke had started.
“I guess it’s true what people say, that there’s no fire without smoke,” Ryo quipped, fascinated by Dee’s increasingly frantic efforts to get rid of the smoke. He didn’t seem to know where it was coming from.
“This should not be happening!” Dee growled, as the dish towel got a bit too close to the grill and ignited. He dropped it on the roof’s gravel surface and stamped the flames out.
“When you said you cooked a mean barbecue, I didn’t think you meant one that fought back.”
With a subdued popping sound, the ribs suddenly burst into flames. Dee tried to rescue them with his tongs, flipping them over and beating at them with a wooden spatula, which was perhaps not the best idea, but it was all he had available.
“Fuck it! They’re not supposed to do that!”
“Looks like these ribs are going to be extra smoky.”
“Dammit, Ryo, this isn’t funny! Must be the marinade I made; I’ve never tried it before. I just wanted to do something a bit special… Maybe I put too much rum in it…” Dee kept whacking at the ribs as the flames gradually died down. The smoke was starting to clear too, but by this point Dee looked frazzled, flushed, and dripping with sweat from the excess heat.
“I think you’ve got it under control now. Why don’t you go downstairs and change your shirt? I’ll keep an eye on the meat for you, I know to hit it if it bursts into flames again, but the alcohol has probably all burned off by now.”
Dee hesitated. “You sure you’ll be okay?”
“I’ve watched the expert at work, I think I can handle things for a few minutes.”
“Okay, thanks.” Handing over the barbecue tongs and slightly scorched spatula, Dee wiped the sweat from his forehead with his shirtsleeve. “I’ll be right back.” He trailed disconsolately towards the stairs.
When he arrived back after a quick wash and change, Dee found his barbecue glowing steadily, and only giving off the usual amount of smoke, as if there had never been a problem in the first place. He glared at the fickle thing. The one time he really wanted to impress, and the damn thing had all but blown up in his face. Maybe it was time to get a new one.
Ryo was poking the ribs with the tongs, moving them about on the grill, probably just to feel like he was doing something useful since it didn’t seem to be necessary. He turned to smile at Dee. “Feeling better?”
“Yeah. Cooler anyway. Listen, I’m sorry about this. I don’t know what happened.”
“It’s fine, Dee. No matter how experience we might be, cooking doesn’t always go to plan. I didn’t tell you, but when I was baking a cake the other week, I accidentally missed out a key ingredient and wound up with a solid, inedible brick instead of a light and fluffy sponge. It would’ve made a good doorstop. And then there was the time I set fire to a pizza because I turned the oven up too high without realising. Took forever to get rid of the smell of smoke from that. At least up here the smoke just blew away.”
“Guess I should be thankful for small mercies.” Dee managed a wry smile.
“Cheer up, there’s no permanent harm done. Anyway, aside from a few burned bits these ribs look pretty good to me, and they smell good too. Maybe a little smokier than intended, but I don’t mind; I like my ribs well done.”
“You’re still willin’ to eat ‘em?”
“Of course. You went to a lot of trouble; it would be a shame to waste them.”
“Let me try ‘em first and make sure they’re edible, ‘kay?”
“If you insist.” Ryo stepped back to let Dee plate their food and watched as his lover took a cautious nibble. “How are they?”
“Not bad, but maybe I’ll stick with my regular marinade in future; at least that doesn’t send up smoke signals. C’mon, let’s eat.”
Despite everything, the meal wasn’t the disaster Dee had begun to think it would be. The ribs were a little overdone, but it could’ve been a lot worse. Nevertheless, he needed to make sure of one thing.
“Promise me something?”
Ryo smiled at him across the table. “What’s that?”
“Don’t tell the guys about this; it’ll ruin my reputation. I’m supposed to be the squad’s barbecue king.”
“The only thing I’ll tell anyone is that you cook great barbecue,” Ryo assured him. “Because in my experience, it’s the truth.”
The End
Fandom: FAKE
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Dee, Ryo.
Rating: PG
Setting: After the manga.
Summary: When it comes to barbecuing, Dee considers himself an expert. This should not be happening!
Word Count: 1159
Written For: Challenge 334: Smoke at fan_flashworks.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.
With spring warming towards summer, and their new relationship blossoming, Dee had declared that on their next day off, weather permitting, he was going to cook dinner for Ryo.
“You’re always cookin’ for me, have been for years; it’s about time I returned the favor, don’t ya think? Maybe I don’t have your culinary skills in the kitchen, but I cook up a mean barbecue. What d’ya say to ribs? I can fix up a side salad so ya get your veggies.”
Ryo smiled warmly at his lover. “Sounds great!”
“The runt’s not invited though; this is strictly adults only. Okay?”
“I’ll see if Bikky can have a sleepover with one of his friends. Failing that, I’ll ask Melinda to keep an eye on him,” Ryo promised.
So here they were, a few days later, Dee’s barbecue grill dragged out of the stairwell where it had been gathering dust all winter, and up onto the roof. Dee had set it up against the surrounding wall, sheltered from the light wind, and had brought a folding table and two chairs out as well. There were plates and cutlery on the table, a bottle of wine and two glasses, plus salad in a covered bowl, and some crusty buttered bread. All that was left was to fire up the barbecue and get the meat cooking.
Ryo watched proceedings curiously. He liked the total control of cooking in a kitchen, where everything was close to hand, and had never used a barbecue, so he wanted to see how it was done. He had a feeling it wasn’t meant to be quite like this though.
“Is there a problem?”
Black smoke was billowing out of the barbecue, obscuring the cooking ribs, and Dee seemed a bit agitated about it.
“It’ll be fine, everything’s under control. It’s just a bit of smoke. The grill hasn’t been used for a while.” Dee’s voice was tight as he flapped about with a dish towel, trying to waft the smoke away, but it was an exercise in futility since the smoke showed no sign of stopping.
Everything had seemed fine to start with. Dee had ignited the charcoal and when it had been hot enough, had laid the ribs out on the grill, which he’d cleaned thoroughly the night before. A few minutes later, the smoke had started.
“I guess it’s true what people say, that there’s no fire without smoke,” Ryo quipped, fascinated by Dee’s increasingly frantic efforts to get rid of the smoke. He didn’t seem to know where it was coming from.
“This should not be happening!” Dee growled, as the dish towel got a bit too close to the grill and ignited. He dropped it on the roof’s gravel surface and stamped the flames out.
“When you said you cooked a mean barbecue, I didn’t think you meant one that fought back.”
With a subdued popping sound, the ribs suddenly burst into flames. Dee tried to rescue them with his tongs, flipping them over and beating at them with a wooden spatula, which was perhaps not the best idea, but it was all he had available.
“Fuck it! They’re not supposed to do that!”
“Looks like these ribs are going to be extra smoky.”
“Dammit, Ryo, this isn’t funny! Must be the marinade I made; I’ve never tried it before. I just wanted to do something a bit special… Maybe I put too much rum in it…” Dee kept whacking at the ribs as the flames gradually died down. The smoke was starting to clear too, but by this point Dee looked frazzled, flushed, and dripping with sweat from the excess heat.
“I think you’ve got it under control now. Why don’t you go downstairs and change your shirt? I’ll keep an eye on the meat for you, I know to hit it if it bursts into flames again, but the alcohol has probably all burned off by now.”
Dee hesitated. “You sure you’ll be okay?”
“I’ve watched the expert at work, I think I can handle things for a few minutes.”
“Okay, thanks.” Handing over the barbecue tongs and slightly scorched spatula, Dee wiped the sweat from his forehead with his shirtsleeve. “I’ll be right back.” He trailed disconsolately towards the stairs.
When he arrived back after a quick wash and change, Dee found his barbecue glowing steadily, and only giving off the usual amount of smoke, as if there had never been a problem in the first place. He glared at the fickle thing. The one time he really wanted to impress, and the damn thing had all but blown up in his face. Maybe it was time to get a new one.
Ryo was poking the ribs with the tongs, moving them about on the grill, probably just to feel like he was doing something useful since it didn’t seem to be necessary. He turned to smile at Dee. “Feeling better?”
“Yeah. Cooler anyway. Listen, I’m sorry about this. I don’t know what happened.”
“It’s fine, Dee. No matter how experience we might be, cooking doesn’t always go to plan. I didn’t tell you, but when I was baking a cake the other week, I accidentally missed out a key ingredient and wound up with a solid, inedible brick instead of a light and fluffy sponge. It would’ve made a good doorstop. And then there was the time I set fire to a pizza because I turned the oven up too high without realising. Took forever to get rid of the smell of smoke from that. At least up here the smoke just blew away.”
“Guess I should be thankful for small mercies.” Dee managed a wry smile.
“Cheer up, there’s no permanent harm done. Anyway, aside from a few burned bits these ribs look pretty good to me, and they smell good too. Maybe a little smokier than intended, but I don’t mind; I like my ribs well done.”
“You’re still willin’ to eat ‘em?”
“Of course. You went to a lot of trouble; it would be a shame to waste them.”
“Let me try ‘em first and make sure they’re edible, ‘kay?”
“If you insist.” Ryo stepped back to let Dee plate their food and watched as his lover took a cautious nibble. “How are they?”
“Not bad, but maybe I’ll stick with my regular marinade in future; at least that doesn’t send up smoke signals. C’mon, let’s eat.”
Despite everything, the meal wasn’t the disaster Dee had begun to think it would be. The ribs were a little overdone, but it could’ve been a lot worse. Nevertheless, he needed to make sure of one thing.
“Promise me something?”
Ryo smiled at him across the table. “What’s that?”
“Don’t tell the guys about this; it’ll ruin my reputation. I’m supposed to be the squad’s barbecue king.”
“The only thing I’ll tell anyone is that you cook great barbecue,” Ryo assured him. “Because in my experience, it’s the truth.”
The End