FAKE Fic: Foot In Mouth Moment
Title: Foot In Mouth Moment
Fandom: FAKE
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Dee, Ryo, Aunt Elena.
Rating: PG
Setting: After the manga.
Summary: On an evening out with Ryo, Dee manages to make a fool of himself.
Word Count: 942
Written Using: The dw100 prompt ‘Mine’.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.
The woman was practically pawing at Ryo; what the hell did she think she was playing at? Dee glared at her, pushing roughly past the bar’s other patrons without so much as an ‘Excuse me’. He’d only left his lover unattended for a few minutes while he paid a quick visit to the men’s room, and now some floozy was trying to horn in on his territory! Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if Ryo could defend himself from that kind of unwanted attention, but he was such an airhead he never seemed to notice when someone was hitting on him, and that could lead to awkward misunderstandings.
“Hey, keep your hands to yourself, lady; he’s mine!” Dee snarled, worming his way in between his baby and the enemy, noticing in passing that she was a strikingly attractive woman, maybe in her early forties. He was in a committed relationship, not blind.
“Dee!” Ryo turned to his partner, sounding shocked. “Don’t be so rude! What’s gotten into you?”
“I’m not havin’ strange women hittin’ on you the moment my back’s turned,” Dee gritted out. “I know ya can be a bit oblivious at times, babe, but ya had to notice she was all over you. Hell, she was practically huggin’ you!”
Ryo actually had the nerve to snicker. “You have a suspicious mind, not to mention a jealous streak a mile wide. Yes, she was hugging me, but it’s not what you think.”
“And what’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means you’re way off base this time; she wasn’t hitting on me. Dee Laytner, I’d like you me meet Elena Barrett, my aunt.”
“Your…” Dee froze, an expression of horror on his face. “This is your aunt? Crap, I really put my foot in it this time, didn’t I? Helluva first impression to make.” Embarrassed and feeling like a complete idiot, which was probably fitting, Dee turned to Ryo’s aunt. “My apologies. It’s just, when Ryo said his aunt would be joinin’ us, I wasn’t expectin’ someone so young and attractive!”
“Hey!” Ryo dug his elbow into his lover’s ribs. “Stop hitting on my aunt!”
“I wasn’t, I was only sayin’…” Dee thought better of what he’d been about to say and wisely shut up before he could dig himself in any deeper. If he shoved his foot any further into his mouth he’d choke.
“I’m flattered,” Aunt Elena teased, eyes twinkling with humor, “but I’m afraid I’m not available. I’m a happily married woman.”
“Yeah, I know that much.” Dee breathed a sigh of relief at getting onto a slightly safer topic of conversation. “Ryo told me you and your husband took him in after his parents were killed.”
“We were happy to; he’s family. Frank, Ryo’s father, was my oldest brother. I was the baby of the family, only twelve when Ryo was born. When he was little I felt more like his big sister than his aunt. We’ve always been close. Anyway, I’m very pleased to meet you. Ryo’s told me a lot about you. It’s good to see he has someone in his life who’s got his back, no matter what.”
“Back, front, every bit of him.” Dee grinned, already liking Ryo’s aunt. “I’ve got a lot of time and effort invested in him so I’m not about to let anything bad happen to him.”
“Including being hit on by strange women?”
Dee grinned sheepishly. “Exactly. Or strange men. Flirtin’ goes right over his head.”
“Not always!” Ryo protested. “You make it sound like I can’t take care of myself!”
“That’s not what I’m sayin’. Against an armed gunman or some other lowlife, my money’s on you every time, but you gotta admit you can be a little clueless when it comes to gettin’ hit on. Remember when Rose practically had ya pinned against the wall and you didn’t realise he was tryin’ to kiss you?”
“You’re never going to let me forget that, are you?” Ryo sounded peeved.
“Nope.” Dee smirked at his lover. “If I hadn’t come along, he’d have had you in a lip-lock before you knew what was happenin’.”
“I just wasn’t expecting that kind of behaviour from my boss. You, on the other hand…”
“Right, which is why you were always so good at fendin’ off my pounces,” Dee teased.
Ryo blushed. “There’s never been any defence against you that actually works. Do we have to talk about this now?”
Dee took pity on his lover. “I guess not.” He turned to Ryo’s aunt, digging his wallet out of his pants pocket. “What can I get ya?”
“White wine please.”
“Comin’ right up. Is your husband joining us?”
“As soon as he’s found somewhere to park the car. I told him we should leave it at the hotel and get a taxi, but it’s a rental, and Rick says he can’t see the point of paying taxi fares when we already have transport. I tried to tell him we’d probably have to pay out more for parking than we would for a taxi, but he’s stubborn.”
“Do ya have a photo? Of your husband, not the car.” Dee gave a wry smile. “Might be a good idea to know what he looks like before he gets here so I don’t go puttin’ my foot in it again.”
Aunt Elena laughed. “Don’t worry, we won’t let you make the same mistake twice.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it. Wouldn’t want to get myself arrested for startin’ a bar fight.” Dee glanced around the room. “How about we find ourselves a table?”
With any luck, the rest of the evening would go a lot more smoothly.
The End
Fandom: FAKE
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Dee, Ryo, Aunt Elena.
Rating: PG
Setting: After the manga.
Summary: On an evening out with Ryo, Dee manages to make a fool of himself.
Word Count: 942
Written Using: The dw100 prompt ‘Mine’.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.
The woman was practically pawing at Ryo; what the hell did she think she was playing at? Dee glared at her, pushing roughly past the bar’s other patrons without so much as an ‘Excuse me’. He’d only left his lover unattended for a few minutes while he paid a quick visit to the men’s room, and now some floozy was trying to horn in on his territory! Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if Ryo could defend himself from that kind of unwanted attention, but he was such an airhead he never seemed to notice when someone was hitting on him, and that could lead to awkward misunderstandings.
“Hey, keep your hands to yourself, lady; he’s mine!” Dee snarled, worming his way in between his baby and the enemy, noticing in passing that she was a strikingly attractive woman, maybe in her early forties. He was in a committed relationship, not blind.
“Dee!” Ryo turned to his partner, sounding shocked. “Don’t be so rude! What’s gotten into you?”
“I’m not havin’ strange women hittin’ on you the moment my back’s turned,” Dee gritted out. “I know ya can be a bit oblivious at times, babe, but ya had to notice she was all over you. Hell, she was practically huggin’ you!”
Ryo actually had the nerve to snicker. “You have a suspicious mind, not to mention a jealous streak a mile wide. Yes, she was hugging me, but it’s not what you think.”
“And what’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means you’re way off base this time; she wasn’t hitting on me. Dee Laytner, I’d like you me meet Elena Barrett, my aunt.”
“Your…” Dee froze, an expression of horror on his face. “This is your aunt? Crap, I really put my foot in it this time, didn’t I? Helluva first impression to make.” Embarrassed and feeling like a complete idiot, which was probably fitting, Dee turned to Ryo’s aunt. “My apologies. It’s just, when Ryo said his aunt would be joinin’ us, I wasn’t expectin’ someone so young and attractive!”
“Hey!” Ryo dug his elbow into his lover’s ribs. “Stop hitting on my aunt!”
“I wasn’t, I was only sayin’…” Dee thought better of what he’d been about to say and wisely shut up before he could dig himself in any deeper. If he shoved his foot any further into his mouth he’d choke.
“I’m flattered,” Aunt Elena teased, eyes twinkling with humor, “but I’m afraid I’m not available. I’m a happily married woman.”
“Yeah, I know that much.” Dee breathed a sigh of relief at getting onto a slightly safer topic of conversation. “Ryo told me you and your husband took him in after his parents were killed.”
“We were happy to; he’s family. Frank, Ryo’s father, was my oldest brother. I was the baby of the family, only twelve when Ryo was born. When he was little I felt more like his big sister than his aunt. We’ve always been close. Anyway, I’m very pleased to meet you. Ryo’s told me a lot about you. It’s good to see he has someone in his life who’s got his back, no matter what.”
“Back, front, every bit of him.” Dee grinned, already liking Ryo’s aunt. “I’ve got a lot of time and effort invested in him so I’m not about to let anything bad happen to him.”
“Including being hit on by strange women?”
Dee grinned sheepishly. “Exactly. Or strange men. Flirtin’ goes right over his head.”
“Not always!” Ryo protested. “You make it sound like I can’t take care of myself!”
“That’s not what I’m sayin’. Against an armed gunman or some other lowlife, my money’s on you every time, but you gotta admit you can be a little clueless when it comes to gettin’ hit on. Remember when Rose practically had ya pinned against the wall and you didn’t realise he was tryin’ to kiss you?”
“You’re never going to let me forget that, are you?” Ryo sounded peeved.
“Nope.” Dee smirked at his lover. “If I hadn’t come along, he’d have had you in a lip-lock before you knew what was happenin’.”
“I just wasn’t expecting that kind of behaviour from my boss. You, on the other hand…”
“Right, which is why you were always so good at fendin’ off my pounces,” Dee teased.
Ryo blushed. “There’s never been any defence against you that actually works. Do we have to talk about this now?”
Dee took pity on his lover. “I guess not.” He turned to Ryo’s aunt, digging his wallet out of his pants pocket. “What can I get ya?”
“White wine please.”
“Comin’ right up. Is your husband joining us?”
“As soon as he’s found somewhere to park the car. I told him we should leave it at the hotel and get a taxi, but it’s a rental, and Rick says he can’t see the point of paying taxi fares when we already have transport. I tried to tell him we’d probably have to pay out more for parking than we would for a taxi, but he’s stubborn.”
“Do ya have a photo? Of your husband, not the car.” Dee gave a wry smile. “Might be a good idea to know what he looks like before he gets here so I don’t go puttin’ my foot in it again.”
Aunt Elena laughed. “Don’t worry, we won’t let you make the same mistake twice.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it. Wouldn’t want to get myself arrested for startin’ a bar fight.” Dee glanced around the room. “How about we find ourselves a table?”
With any luck, the rest of the evening would go a lot more smoothly.
The End