FAKE Fic: Eyesore
Title: Eyesore
Fandom: FAKE
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Dee, JJ, Drake, Ryo.
Rating: PG-13
Setting: After Vol. 7.
Summary: Drake isn’t at all happy when his work partner and friends take exception to his choice of clothes.
Written Using: The dw100 prompt ‘Accord’.
Word Count: 1178
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.
It was rare for Dee and JJ to be in complete accord about anything, mostly because JJ had been suffering from a bad case of completely unrequited love since the day he and Dee had first met at the police academy. Today, however, was one of those almost unheard-of instances.
“Drake, what the fuck are you wearin’, dude?” Dee had known Drake longer than JJ had, and was well aware that his friend didn’t have the best fashion sense in the world, but on this occasion he’d outdone himself.
“I can’t look, it’s too awful!” JJ had one hand covering his eyes. “It’s alright for you, Dee; you don’t have to sit opposite him all day or be seen with him in public! I’ll go blind! People will stare! My reputation might never recover!” He seized on a possible solution to his situation. “Trade partners with me for the day? Please? I’ll work with Ryo and you can have Drake. Maybe you can get through to him, because obviously everything I’ve tried to teach him about style has fallen on deaf ears.”
Dee was quick to shoot that idea down. “No way, he’s your problem, not mine! Countin’ my lucky stars I won’t haveta be in the same room as your partner for much longer.”
Drake looked back and forth between his two colleagues in confusion. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”
“You haveta ask?” Dee stared at his friend in disbelief.
“But I’m dressed the way I always dress!”
This was only true up to a point. Yes, the slightly too big brown suit was a familiar item from Drake’s limited wardrobe, as was the faded blue and white striped shirt he had on underneath it, although Dee had never seen him wear them together before now. But the luridly patterned lime green, orange, and purple tie… If Dee had ever seen that before he’d remember. It was the kind of tie that seared itself into a man’s brain, no matter how much he might wish otherwise.
“That suit and shirt combo would be bad enough, but the tie has gotta go. Are you color-blind or somethin’? ‘Cause that’s the only explanation I can come up with for you to be wearin’ such an eyesore!”
That did it. Up to now, Drake had merely been puzzled but although he was usually an easy-going kind of guy, he was starting to get angry. “Hey! I’ll have you know this tie was a birthday gift from my twin nieces! They chose it themselves!”
“Seriously? Man, they must really hate you.”
Drake glared. “They love me, I’m they’re favorite uncle. They’re only four.”
Hands in pockets, Dee shrugged. “Okay, I can see how a couple’a four-year-olds might think it was pretty, they’re too young to know any better, and I guess it’s the thought that counts. But that doesn’t mean ya haveta wear it!”
“Dee’s right,” JJ agreed, still with his hand over his eyes. “I’m getting a migraine just thinking about it. Please, Drakey, for pity’s sake, take it off and never wear it to work again. I can still see it, even when I’m not looking at it! How am I supposed to do my job if all I can see are afterimages of your tie burned into my retinas?”
“Fine,” Drake grumbled, “If you’re gonna be like that about it I’ll take it off.” He stalked off towards the locker room, indignation clear in the set of his shoulders. Practically throwing the swinging door open, he almost hit Ryo in the face with it, drawing a startled squeak from his fellow detective. “Sorry, Ryo; didn’t know you were there.”
“It’s okay, no harm done. What’s up? You don’t usually storm around slamming doors open.”
Drake’s shoulders sagged. “My partner and yours are ganging up on me.”
Ryo frowned. “JJ and Dee? Why?”
“Apparently they don’t like my tie. JJ refuses to be anywhere near me while I’m wearing it, so now I’ve got to take it off. Thought I’d better hide it in my locker so no one could make it disappear.”
Studying the tie in question, Ryo smiled apologetically. “Well, I can see his point. It is a bit… loud.” Although Ryo was trying to be diplomatic, all Drake heard was someone else dissing his new tie.
“You too? I thought you at least would take my side.”
“It’s not a matter of taking sides, Drake. We’re detectives; we’re supposed to dress conservatively, project a certain image. If the Chief saw you wearing that tie… He made Dee go home and change last Pride Day when he wore his rainbow shirt to work under his suit. Said it was unprofessional and distracting.”
“Oh, yeah, I’d forgotten about that. I suppose maybe it is a bit bright for work. I just… My nieces gave it to me for my birthday a couple of weeks ago, and I wanted to be able to tell them I’d worn it.”
“And you have, but maybe you should save that one for best. Police work can be messy, and you wouldn’t want it to get ruined, would you?”
“You’re right, I hadn’t thought of that.”
“Wear it when you see your nieces, I’m sure they’d love that. Let them see how special it is to you instead of just telling them.”
Drake brightened, smiling. “Yeah, I’ll do that. Thanks, Ryo.” Carefully slipping the tie off, he went to put it safely in his locker, out of harm’s way, digging out a slightly crumpled plain grey one that had gotten left there by accident a few weeks earlier. It didn’t exactly go with his suit or his shirt, but Ryo thought it better not to mention that.
Returning to the squad room, Drake glared at Dee and JJ. “Happy now?”
They looked at the replacement tie.
“Guess you’ll pass, just barely.” Dee sauntered back to his desk now that the situation had been resolved.
“Much better!” JJ forced a smile rather than wincing at Drake’s inability to color-coordinate. He didn’t want to annoy his partner further. “I can look at you now without getting a blinding headache.” Truthfully, JJ did look a bit pale.
“It was really that hard for you to look at?” Now he’d had a chance to cool off, Drake felt a bit guilty. He knew JJ was very fashion-conscious; perhaps he shouldn’t have been surprised by his partner’s reaction.
“I have sensitive eyes,” JJ admitted. “Bright, clashing colours can bring on a migraine really fast.”
“I didn’t know that. But you’re okay now, aren’t you?”
“I will be. Dee gave me some painkillers.”
Drake slumped into the chair at his desk. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to give you a headache.”
“I know you didn’t, but I think perhaps to be on the safe side I should start teaching you which color combinations to avoid.”
“Sure, JJ. Whatever you say.” Drake decided there and then that he’d save all his really nice things for wearing when he wasn’t at work. That way, maybe he could avoid upsetting anybody.
The End
Fandom: FAKE
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Dee, JJ, Drake, Ryo.
Rating: PG-13
Setting: After Vol. 7.
Summary: Drake isn’t at all happy when his work partner and friends take exception to his choice of clothes.
Written Using: The dw100 prompt ‘Accord’.
Word Count: 1178
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.
It was rare for Dee and JJ to be in complete accord about anything, mostly because JJ had been suffering from a bad case of completely unrequited love since the day he and Dee had first met at the police academy. Today, however, was one of those almost unheard-of instances.
“Drake, what the fuck are you wearin’, dude?” Dee had known Drake longer than JJ had, and was well aware that his friend didn’t have the best fashion sense in the world, but on this occasion he’d outdone himself.
“I can’t look, it’s too awful!” JJ had one hand covering his eyes. “It’s alright for you, Dee; you don’t have to sit opposite him all day or be seen with him in public! I’ll go blind! People will stare! My reputation might never recover!” He seized on a possible solution to his situation. “Trade partners with me for the day? Please? I’ll work with Ryo and you can have Drake. Maybe you can get through to him, because obviously everything I’ve tried to teach him about style has fallen on deaf ears.”
Dee was quick to shoot that idea down. “No way, he’s your problem, not mine! Countin’ my lucky stars I won’t haveta be in the same room as your partner for much longer.”
Drake looked back and forth between his two colleagues in confusion. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”
“You haveta ask?” Dee stared at his friend in disbelief.
“But I’m dressed the way I always dress!”
This was only true up to a point. Yes, the slightly too big brown suit was a familiar item from Drake’s limited wardrobe, as was the faded blue and white striped shirt he had on underneath it, although Dee had never seen him wear them together before now. But the luridly patterned lime green, orange, and purple tie… If Dee had ever seen that before he’d remember. It was the kind of tie that seared itself into a man’s brain, no matter how much he might wish otherwise.
“That suit and shirt combo would be bad enough, but the tie has gotta go. Are you color-blind or somethin’? ‘Cause that’s the only explanation I can come up with for you to be wearin’ such an eyesore!”
That did it. Up to now, Drake had merely been puzzled but although he was usually an easy-going kind of guy, he was starting to get angry. “Hey! I’ll have you know this tie was a birthday gift from my twin nieces! They chose it themselves!”
“Seriously? Man, they must really hate you.”
Drake glared. “They love me, I’m they’re favorite uncle. They’re only four.”
Hands in pockets, Dee shrugged. “Okay, I can see how a couple’a four-year-olds might think it was pretty, they’re too young to know any better, and I guess it’s the thought that counts. But that doesn’t mean ya haveta wear it!”
“Dee’s right,” JJ agreed, still with his hand over his eyes. “I’m getting a migraine just thinking about it. Please, Drakey, for pity’s sake, take it off and never wear it to work again. I can still see it, even when I’m not looking at it! How am I supposed to do my job if all I can see are afterimages of your tie burned into my retinas?”
“Fine,” Drake grumbled, “If you’re gonna be like that about it I’ll take it off.” He stalked off towards the locker room, indignation clear in the set of his shoulders. Practically throwing the swinging door open, he almost hit Ryo in the face with it, drawing a startled squeak from his fellow detective. “Sorry, Ryo; didn’t know you were there.”
“It’s okay, no harm done. What’s up? You don’t usually storm around slamming doors open.”
Drake’s shoulders sagged. “My partner and yours are ganging up on me.”
Ryo frowned. “JJ and Dee? Why?”
“Apparently they don’t like my tie. JJ refuses to be anywhere near me while I’m wearing it, so now I’ve got to take it off. Thought I’d better hide it in my locker so no one could make it disappear.”
Studying the tie in question, Ryo smiled apologetically. “Well, I can see his point. It is a bit… loud.” Although Ryo was trying to be diplomatic, all Drake heard was someone else dissing his new tie.
“You too? I thought you at least would take my side.”
“It’s not a matter of taking sides, Drake. We’re detectives; we’re supposed to dress conservatively, project a certain image. If the Chief saw you wearing that tie… He made Dee go home and change last Pride Day when he wore his rainbow shirt to work under his suit. Said it was unprofessional and distracting.”
“Oh, yeah, I’d forgotten about that. I suppose maybe it is a bit bright for work. I just… My nieces gave it to me for my birthday a couple of weeks ago, and I wanted to be able to tell them I’d worn it.”
“And you have, but maybe you should save that one for best. Police work can be messy, and you wouldn’t want it to get ruined, would you?”
“You’re right, I hadn’t thought of that.”
“Wear it when you see your nieces, I’m sure they’d love that. Let them see how special it is to you instead of just telling them.”
Drake brightened, smiling. “Yeah, I’ll do that. Thanks, Ryo.” Carefully slipping the tie off, he went to put it safely in his locker, out of harm’s way, digging out a slightly crumpled plain grey one that had gotten left there by accident a few weeks earlier. It didn’t exactly go with his suit or his shirt, but Ryo thought it better not to mention that.
Returning to the squad room, Drake glared at Dee and JJ. “Happy now?”
They looked at the replacement tie.
“Guess you’ll pass, just barely.” Dee sauntered back to his desk now that the situation had been resolved.
“Much better!” JJ forced a smile rather than wincing at Drake’s inability to color-coordinate. He didn’t want to annoy his partner further. “I can look at you now without getting a blinding headache.” Truthfully, JJ did look a bit pale.
“It was really that hard for you to look at?” Now he’d had a chance to cool off, Drake felt a bit guilty. He knew JJ was very fashion-conscious; perhaps he shouldn’t have been surprised by his partner’s reaction.
“I have sensitive eyes,” JJ admitted. “Bright, clashing colours can bring on a migraine really fast.”
“I didn’t know that. But you’re okay now, aren’t you?”
“I will be. Dee gave me some painkillers.”
Drake slumped into the chair at his desk. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to give you a headache.”
“I know you didn’t, but I think perhaps to be on the safe side I should start teaching you which color combinations to avoid.”
“Sure, JJ. Whatever you say.” Drake decided there and then that he’d save all his really nice things for wearing when he wasn’t at work. That way, maybe he could avoid upsetting anybody.
The End