FIC: Tonight Will Last Forever
Title: Tonight Will Last Forever
Author: badfalcon and elvenpirate
Author Web Page: http://www.aemslash.co.uk Obsess, Much?
Fandom: RPS - Good Charlotte/Mest
Categories: Benji Madden/Tony Lovato. Angst, H/C, semi-AU.
Rating: R
Thanks to: You, for reading this. Chel, as ever, for the beta and writing it in the car on the way to hers!
Disclaimer: Benji Madden and Tony Lovato are real people, and most of the events in this story are just that - fictional, figments of my sick and twisted imagination. Hell, call it a fantasy if it makes you feel better. Whatever. No rumours should be started in regards to any events in these works of fiction. This story is written purely for entertainment purposes and no money is being made out of it.
Summary: Tony fails to cope with the fans reactions following the post he made on Mest’s Myspace.
“Stop hitting refresh, Tone, it’s not going to change anything.” Benji said, getting up and leaning over Tony to switch the computer monitor off. He turned the chair Tony was sitting in around and crouched down in front of him, placing his hands on Tony’s knees.
“They hate me.” He whispered, meeting Benji’s eyes, his shoulders shaking as tears silently tracked down his cheeks.
“No, they don’t,” Benji hastened to reassure him, his heart sinking at the sheer misery etched on his boyfriend’s face. “They just… they hate the situation and you’re the most visible target for them.”
“No,” Tony disagreed, shaking his head. “They hate me.”
Benji fell silent, not knowing what to say to comfort Tony, instead reaching out and pulling him into a close embrace, holding him tightly, rubbing his back, making soothing noises as he rocked him. Tony sighed, biting down on his lower lip as his tears took over and he clung to Benji, crying.
“I love you,” Benji whispered in Tony’s ear. “I’m here for you and I love you. Tell me what I can do?”
Trembling, Tony pulled back, meeting his eyes. “It’s not my fault, Benji.” He swallowed heavily, wrapping his arms around his waist. “It wasn’t… it isn’t… I didn’t just wake up this morning and think ‘fuck this’ and decide to call an end to it all. I… don’t want them to hate me.”
“I know. And they don’t hate you,” Benji soothed. “They’re just hurting, the same as you, and lashing out. I promise they don’t hate you.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Tony replied, unconvinced. “But I do.”
“Well, for what it’s worth - I don’t hate you.” He smiled softly, tilting Tony’s chin up with his forefinger and leaning in to kiss him, sighing when Tony pulled away from him. “Tony…” He shook his head, pulling Tony close again; Tony tense and unresponsive in his arms. He glanced at the clock and winced. “You should probably try and get some sleep,” he suggested quietly.
“Don’t, Benji…” Tony snapped, standing up, starting to pace the floor. “Don’t you dare fucking tell me that things will be better in the morning after a good night’s sleep.”
“I wasn’t going to.”
Tony stumbled to a stop, his head thrown back, staring at the ceiling. He exhaled deeply, shakily before turning his head to the side to look at Benji. “Sorry, Benji. I didn’t mean to snap. I…”
“I know. It’s ok.”
“It’s not ok,” Tony shot back. “I don’t know if it’s ever going to be ok ever again. And I hate…”
Benji stood up and pulled an unresisting Tony over to the bed, laying him down on the bed, curling around him, wrapping him tightly in his arms.
“I don’t want them to hate me, Benji,” he whispered tearfully, forcing himself to try and relax, burying his head in Benji’s shoulder. He sighed as Benji rocked him, crooning wordless reassurances, soothing him.
Slowly, Benji fell asleep, his arms loosening from around Tony. Tony rolled over to face Benji, propping himself up on one arm, quietly watching Benji sleep. He sighed, reaching out and brushing Benji’s hair from his forehead. He leaned forward, placing a quick kiss to Benji’s lips. “I love you, Benj. Never forget that.”
He sat up, legs over the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands. He sat up and stared at the computer screen, a determined set to his face. He got up and made his way down the stairs, grabbing two bottles of beer and a mostly full bottle of Jack Daniel’s from the cupboard. He quickly downed the two beers, leaving the empty bottles on the kitchen table, twisting the lid from the bottle of Jack Daniel’s, and taking a swig before climbing the stairs. Flicking the bathroom light on, he placed the bottle on the sink, opening the cupboard and hunting through it for the pain medication his doctor had prescribed for his back. He found a full bottle and twisted the lid, shaking the pills into his hand. He swallowed them, chasing them down with the alcohol, repeating until all the tablets were gone. Shaking lightly, he grabbed the Jack Daniel’s and stumbled back into the bedroom, sitting down again in front of the computer. He flicked the computer screen on, tears blurring his vision as he read the newer comments, heart breaking more and more with each message. He sighed and downed the last of the Jack Daniel’s before opening a new blog entry on the Mest Myspace account.
He typed his message then hit submit, trembling and nodding before crossing the room and laying down on the bed next to Benji, his back to his boyfriend and he pulled the covers up around himself, the tears still falling as his eyes slid closed.
Benji groaned as he woke, flinging an arm over his eyes to block out the light. He turned his head to the side and scowled at the alarm clock. He sat up, blinking at the computer screen, realising it was the source of the light that had disturbed his sleep. He glanced to his side, smiling fondly at Tony’s sleeping form, but didn’t wake him; instead getting up and going over to the computer desk. He wrinkled his nose at the smell of the Jack Daniel’s, depositing the empty bottle in the bin. He sighed, realising that Tony had drunk himself to sleep last night and changed path to wander into the bathroom. “Fucker left the light on,” he grumbled to himself, grabbing the Tylenol from the cupboard and taking it into the bedroom, placing it on the edge of the desk.
He reached out to turn the computer off again, panic hitting him, his blood turning cold at the message on the screen,
I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me. I love you. Tony.
“Oh fuck,” Benji paled, stumbling backwards and shaking his head as he re-read the message. “No, please no. Tony… Fuck, no!” Tears running down his face, struggling for breath, he dropped to his knees at the side of the bed, desperately trying to shake Tony awake, but knowing in his heart it was a futile effort. “Tony, please,” he begged. “Tony…”
Sobbing, Benji moved to sit on the edge of the bed, pulling Tony’s cold body into his arms, his tears falling onto the lifeless form of his boyfriend cradled against his chest.
~El Fin~
Author: badfalcon and elvenpirate
Author Web Page: http://www.aemslash.co.uk Obsess, Much?
Fandom: RPS - Good Charlotte/Mest
Categories: Benji Madden/Tony Lovato. Angst, H/C, semi-AU.
Rating: R
Thanks to: You, for reading this. Chel, as ever, for the beta and writing it in the car on the way to hers!
Disclaimer: Benji Madden and Tony Lovato are real people, and most of the events in this story are just that - fictional, figments of my sick and twisted imagination. Hell, call it a fantasy if it makes you feel better. Whatever. No rumours should be started in regards to any events in these works of fiction. This story is written purely for entertainment purposes and no money is being made out of it.
Summary: Tony fails to cope with the fans reactions following the post he made on Mest’s Myspace.
“Stop hitting refresh, Tone, it’s not going to change anything.” Benji said, getting up and leaning over Tony to switch the computer monitor off. He turned the chair Tony was sitting in around and crouched down in front of him, placing his hands on Tony’s knees.
“They hate me.” He whispered, meeting Benji’s eyes, his shoulders shaking as tears silently tracked down his cheeks.
“No, they don’t,” Benji hastened to reassure him, his heart sinking at the sheer misery etched on his boyfriend’s face. “They just… they hate the situation and you’re the most visible target for them.”
“No,” Tony disagreed, shaking his head. “They hate me.”
Benji fell silent, not knowing what to say to comfort Tony, instead reaching out and pulling him into a close embrace, holding him tightly, rubbing his back, making soothing noises as he rocked him. Tony sighed, biting down on his lower lip as his tears took over and he clung to Benji, crying.
“I love you,” Benji whispered in Tony’s ear. “I’m here for you and I love you. Tell me what I can do?”
Trembling, Tony pulled back, meeting his eyes. “It’s not my fault, Benji.” He swallowed heavily, wrapping his arms around his waist. “It wasn’t… it isn’t… I didn’t just wake up this morning and think ‘fuck this’ and decide to call an end to it all. I… don’t want them to hate me.”
“I know. And they don’t hate you,” Benji soothed. “They’re just hurting, the same as you, and lashing out. I promise they don’t hate you.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Tony replied, unconvinced. “But I do.”
“Well, for what it’s worth - I don’t hate you.” He smiled softly, tilting Tony’s chin up with his forefinger and leaning in to kiss him, sighing when Tony pulled away from him. “Tony…” He shook his head, pulling Tony close again; Tony tense and unresponsive in his arms. He glanced at the clock and winced. “You should probably try and get some sleep,” he suggested quietly.
“Don’t, Benji…” Tony snapped, standing up, starting to pace the floor. “Don’t you dare fucking tell me that things will be better in the morning after a good night’s sleep.”
“I wasn’t going to.”
Tony stumbled to a stop, his head thrown back, staring at the ceiling. He exhaled deeply, shakily before turning his head to the side to look at Benji. “Sorry, Benji. I didn’t mean to snap. I…”
“I know. It’s ok.”
“It’s not ok,” Tony shot back. “I don’t know if it’s ever going to be ok ever again. And I hate…”
Benji stood up and pulled an unresisting Tony over to the bed, laying him down on the bed, curling around him, wrapping him tightly in his arms.
“I don’t want them to hate me, Benji,” he whispered tearfully, forcing himself to try and relax, burying his head in Benji’s shoulder. He sighed as Benji rocked him, crooning wordless reassurances, soothing him.
Slowly, Benji fell asleep, his arms loosening from around Tony. Tony rolled over to face Benji, propping himself up on one arm, quietly watching Benji sleep. He sighed, reaching out and brushing Benji’s hair from his forehead. He leaned forward, placing a quick kiss to Benji’s lips. “I love you, Benj. Never forget that.”
He sat up, legs over the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands. He sat up and stared at the computer screen, a determined set to his face. He got up and made his way down the stairs, grabbing two bottles of beer and a mostly full bottle of Jack Daniel’s from the cupboard. He quickly downed the two beers, leaving the empty bottles on the kitchen table, twisting the lid from the bottle of Jack Daniel’s, and taking a swig before climbing the stairs. Flicking the bathroom light on, he placed the bottle on the sink, opening the cupboard and hunting through it for the pain medication his doctor had prescribed for his back. He found a full bottle and twisted the lid, shaking the pills into his hand. He swallowed them, chasing them down with the alcohol, repeating until all the tablets were gone. Shaking lightly, he grabbed the Jack Daniel’s and stumbled back into the bedroom, sitting down again in front of the computer. He flicked the computer screen on, tears blurring his vision as he read the newer comments, heart breaking more and more with each message. He sighed and downed the last of the Jack Daniel’s before opening a new blog entry on the Mest Myspace account.
He typed his message then hit submit, trembling and nodding before crossing the room and laying down on the bed next to Benji, his back to his boyfriend and he pulled the covers up around himself, the tears still falling as his eyes slid closed.
Benji groaned as he woke, flinging an arm over his eyes to block out the light. He turned his head to the side and scowled at the alarm clock. He sat up, blinking at the computer screen, realising it was the source of the light that had disturbed his sleep. He glanced to his side, smiling fondly at Tony’s sleeping form, but didn’t wake him; instead getting up and going over to the computer desk. He wrinkled his nose at the smell of the Jack Daniel’s, depositing the empty bottle in the bin. He sighed, realising that Tony had drunk himself to sleep last night and changed path to wander into the bathroom. “Fucker left the light on,” he grumbled to himself, grabbing the Tylenol from the cupboard and taking it into the bedroom, placing it on the edge of the desk.
He reached out to turn the computer off again, panic hitting him, his blood turning cold at the message on the screen,
I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me. I love you. Tony.
“Oh fuck,” Benji paled, stumbling backwards and shaking his head as he re-read the message. “No, please no. Tony… Fuck, no!” Tears running down his face, struggling for breath, he dropped to his knees at the side of the bed, desperately trying to shake Tony awake, but knowing in his heart it was a futile effort. “Tony, please,” he begged. “Tony…”
Sobbing, Benji moved to sit on the edge of the bed, pulling Tony’s cold body into his arms, his tears falling onto the lifeless form of his boyfriend cradled against his chest.
~El Fin~