This is long, but most of it is important....

Jun 14, 2007 12:06

So, I just passed my sixth year on LJ recently. Six years! Of course, these past two years or so, I've been horribly neglectful both of posting and of reading my friends list...

*sheepish look*

As a matter of fact, a few people whom I am quite fond of have removed me within the last few months, presumably due to my inactivity. Ah, well. For the record, if I haven't read/commented on your LJ in quite a while, it's not because I'm ignoring YOU, specifically--rather, it's because I suck at LJ these days. It's definitely nothing personal. I'm much easier to reach by email these days than LiveJournal, and I'd love to get virtual letters (or real ones, for those with my address) from you guys :)

Part of it is that nothing LJ-worthy really happens around here, these days, aside from the everyday. Both Beau and I have spent the better part of the last year and a half doing a lot of much-needed soul-searching, getting our house(s) in order, both literally and metaphorically. While he and I are stronger than ever together, we each have things that we're dealing with individually, most of which stems from things that go back so far that we hardly remember where they started.

Those of you who read his journal already know that, nearly a year and a half ago, Beau realized he's bisexual. Interesting twist, something to get used to, but not that big a deal to me, and not as big a deal to him, either, anymore, now that he's come to terms with it. It was simultaneously surprising and not surprising in a way that's hard to describe, and now it's something that just is.

What has taken a lot more getting used to is the fact that he discovered--the hard way, of course--that he's also polyamorous, after both of us having thought for a very long time that he was the poster boy for monogamy. Neither one of us is anywhere even close to ready to act on it, and it's hard to know if/when we will be, but...yeah, it has been...interesting, to say the least. Both of us had always had (what we thought was) a fairly liberal, open-minded approach to polyamory in the lives of others, but had never thought it was anything we would have to worry about. Ha! Isn't that always the way?

What it has really done is to lend an immedicacy to not only our issues as a couple, but, even more so, each of our own issues that pre-date our relationship and go all the way back to our childhoods. We're both finding that neither of us really knew ourselves quite as well as we had once thought, something that is both scary and exciting at the same time. This has awakened in me demons that I didn't even realize were there--some of which I thought I'd exorcised long ago, and others who had been hiding in the shadows all this time.

So, around here, there's been a lot of heart-to-heart talks, self-examination, dissection, and a lot of "What's this? Where the heck did that come from?" kind of stuff...which doesn't exactly make exciting reading ;) Plus, with everything that has been in the forefront of my life also being things that I haven't really been ready to discuss, it hasn't left much room for other things to write in my LJ about.

I have one or two possible posts brewing in my mind right now, and this entry is long enough already, so...hopefully you guys will see more of me in the near future.

So, what's happening with you?
Previous post Next post
Up
[]