Saved By Grace: Chapter Seven - Revelation (The End) - (7/7)
Elena doesn't think when she sees Stefan standing in the library with Damon, she just reacts. She flashes through more than a year without seeing him, and all the times she thought of him, worried for him, hoped that one day she might see him again-whole, alive, the person she remembered.
So when she flies into his arms, she's not thinking of how utterly awkward it will be with Damon's child between them, or how she'll feel as she looks over Stefan's shoulder and sees the way Damon turns his back on them, as if he can't bear to watch them.
(Which, undoubtedly, he cannot.)
But Stefan wraps her tight in his arms anyway and she's crying and laughing and they're talking over one another so much that she has no idea what he's said until she pulls back to wipe at her face with trembling fingers and his palm settles warmly over her belly.
He moves his hand over the swell easily, and the baby kicks in greeting and they both laugh again. Elena clears her throat and says, "Hi, Uncle Stefan," and then his eyes come up to hers and the gravity of everything settles between them like a metal door.
Damon's head jerks in their direction, like he's having a battle with himself, but then he finally looks over at them and Elena meets his gaze with her own.
She's not stupid enough to think that Damon has ever really settled into what they've got going on. If he had, by now he would have approached a few topics that he has judiciously avoided: that of them having any sort of spoken commitment between them other than the exchange of I love you and, of course, the state of Elena's mortality.
She hasn't brought it up either, mostly because she's pregnant right now, and the feasibility of becoming a vampire any time soon is obviously not possible. And, secretly, she's wondered if they might want to have more children after this one; in which case, she'd need to stay human for as long as they want to do that.
But these are things she hasn't mentioned because he gets that deer-in-the-headlights look every so often, when the excitement and anticipation of their new arrival wanes into worry that he can't do this, or be that, or whatever crazy thing goes through his head on any given day.
Elena has counted small victories along the way: that he stayed; that he's been loving and attentive throughout the pregnancy; that he cried when they saw her ultrasound-little baby head, little baby fingers, little baby girl. Her own doubts finally flew away completely the day they agreed on a name for the baby, because nothing said emotional investment like naming the child after both of their mothers.
She is wise enough now, in this moment, to hold out her hand to Damon and invite him closer as Stefan steps back, his eyes still drawn to her stomach, though his hand had moved away seconds before. Damon hesitates for just a fraction of a moment, and then he comes to her, his hand enveloping hers as Elena says, "I'm glad you're home." She catches Stefan's gaze with her own as he quite determinedly doesn't look at Damon and Elena's joined hands.
"I'm glad you're happy," he says, swallowing nervously. His eyes skitter to his brother's face. "I'm glad you're both happy."
Elena feels Damon's body tense, and she squeezes his hand hard, hoping he's not about to say some asinine thing. He squeezes back and she doesn't turn her head to look at him when he finally utters, "Are you home for good?"
Stefan shrugs and moves away from them a little. "I wondered if I'd be welcome, honestly," he says and then he pauses when there's some space between them. He glances over at Lydia, who Elena had forgotten about momentarily. "I'm sorry; I don't know you. I'm Stefan Salvatore."
Elena looks over at her friend, who is still in the entryway of the room, though she's picked up the shopping bags Elena had dropped. "Lydia Oliver," she says in a stunned voice, and it's enough to make Elena start snickering. Lydia is finally really speechless, not just announcing that she's speechless while she rambles on about Freud or some other ridiculous thing.
Elena's giggles must be contagious because Damon loses it, his laughter joining hers. She turns into him, burying her face against his shoulder.
Stefan asks, "What's so funny?" but Elena can hear the grin in his voice.
She turns back to look at him. "What's not?" she asks, still giggling. "What would you call this, Lyd?"
There is absolutely no hesitation from the far side of the room. "Awkward."
Damon laughs harder, practically guffawing, and Elena rolls her hand as though inviting Stefan to bow. "There you have it."
His grin widens and he shrugs. "I suppose this is better than I could have hoped for, in reality."
"You should stay here," Elena says firmly and Damon stops laughing, but doesn't say anything. "It's your house. You should come home, Stefan, to the place that you left anything that ever mattered to you." She looks at Damon then, both because his silence worries her and because Stefan needs to know she understands what it is that brought him home. It's always been about Damon, and that suits her just fine, because that's what it's about for her now, too.
Damon's eyes touch hers briefly and a small smile plays at his lips. "She's right. I mean, it's not like your room is right next to the nursery, but it doesn't really matter. We'll hear this kid way before her momma will."
Elena rolls her eyes. "He doesn't believe in mother's intuition, even though it's in every book he's read. I guarantee you, I'll be up with her more than either of you will, super-sonic hearing notwithstanding."
"You're having a girl?" Stefan asks, his eyes dropping again to her non-existent waistline.
"Yup," Damon says. He reaches a hand over and covers Elena's belly, and the possession in his tone would disturb her if they were in any other situation. "Miranda Grace Salvatore."
Stefan stares at his brother for a long moment; then he nods and turns away, a hand reaching up to dash sudden tears from the corner of his eye. Later, Lydia will tell Elena that this whole scene was "riveting" but nothing more so than the instance when Stefan lifts his head to pronounce, "Wow. That's just beautiful."
Elena thinks so too, and she smiles through a few stray tears that trickle down her cheeks. "We're going to call her Grace," she shares and he just shakes his head, like he can't stand it, but in a good way.
"I was just going to cook some dinner for these girls; you wanna stay?" Damon asks, totally changing the subject.
Stefan nods again, smiling wryly as he says, "I just need to call Caroline so she knows you didn't stake me."
"She can come too; in fact, Elena, you should call Jer and Bonnie and Ric. They might like to see the product of their handy work." He jerks his head towards the kitchen. "Wanna help, Lydia?"
"Of course, I do," she says emphatically, looking relieved. "I'd much rather have something to do other than just standing around gaping at y'all."
Damon squeezes Elena's hand one more time, pats the baby bump, and walks over to Lydia. Slinging his arm around her neck, he pulls her out of the library and Elena watches while Stefan dials Caroline's number on his cell phone.
He hangs up a minute later and smiles. "She's on her way."
"Do you even want to see everyone? I can wait to call them; I mean, I don't want to overwhelm you."
"Elena, I've pretty sure I've weathered the worst of it right here. And I do owe Bonnie a huge thank you, as well as Ric; I heard he was quite daring in the final battle."
Elena chuckles. "Well, to hear him tell it, the vampires and witches hardly needed to be there. Ric has, for all intents and purposes, become the human version of Damon."
They start to head toward the door, following the sound of Lydia and Damon's voices. "So this was a surprise, right?" He gestures at her belly. "I mean, you didn't mean to get pregnant?" Stefan asks.
Elena gives him a look of disbelief. "Complete and utter shock. Both of us were stunned and it took some adjustment. But now..." She places her hand on her protruding stomach and rubs it in a circular motion. "Now, it just feels like it was meant to be, you know?"
She looks at Stefan as they near the kitchen door and he clenches his jaw as he slowly nods his head. "It's funny how things work out, huh?"
Elena stops him before he can open the swinging door to join Damon and Lydia. She wraps him in her arms again, and this time it's not quite as awkward. "I'm so glad you're here. I really am."
He presses his face into her neck, his lips touching her throat the way they used to. As if in silent goodbye to the things they never got to have closure on, he squeezes her once and then pushes her back. "I am too," he says, and Elena can hear the sincerity in his voice.
She thinks this might end up being the best thing that ever happened.
The weeks slip by after Stefan comes home, the lazy days of summer giving way to new developments. Lydia goes home, but promises to come back when the baby's born; Caroline comes by the Boarding House a lot, and Elena begins to suspect something is going on between her and Stefan that neither of them is ready to admit; when she mentions this to Damon, his eyes light up for a moment and then he shakes his head in denial.
"He's like that, you know. Just gets friends and stays that way for hundreds of years. Him and Lexi? Strictly platonic. So, you know, I'm thinking this is the same thing."
Elena turns on her side as she eases into bed. It's becoming increasingly difficult to find a comfortable sleeping position. "But come on, Damon, this is Caroline, she-"
She stops talking when he puts his finger against his lips and then cups his hand around his ear. It's been a while since she's had to quiet herself because a vampire was nearby and might be listening in, but Damon whispers, "The couple in question just came through the front door. No need to make it awkward for them."
Elena scoots closer to him and whispers, "Did you know that Caroline was going to kill Katherine, but didn't only because Elijah asked her not to?"
Damon rolls his eyes and whispers back, "Well, let's hope they live miserably ever after wherever the hell they are together."
Elena starts laughing and reaches out, putting her hand on his arm. "That reminds me, guess who Lydia has been texting ever since she went home?"
"Who?"
Elena whispers dramatically, "Tyler Lockwood."
"Shut up. When did she even meet him?"
"One day, when we were out shopping, we ran into him at The Grill. They hit it off."
"And, she knows he's a werewolf?" Damon questions.
"Well, yes, that was the fun awkward moment we had when he came over to say hello and introduce himself. She was all, so you're the werewolf who bit Damon! and Tyler was embarrassed, and well, you know. Then he thought she was adorable somehow."
"Lydia is adorable. Or perhaps the word is adorkable. Either way, what a hoot! Let's hope Carol can handle her forthrightness."
Elena nods and then touches the book in his hands. "What are you reading now?" she asks.
"It's that book that the birth coach gave me." He holds it up so she can see the title, which is The Birth Partner. "I figured I knew I could handle the blood stuff that will happen, but I ought to know more of what I can do specifically."
They had started their birth classes, and Lisa, the director, was already half in love with Damon; Elena could see it every time the woman looked at him. It made her feel a little better that the books he was borrowing from her were things to help with their baby's imminent arrival.
"You're so cute," Elena says, leaning her head back on her pillow. As has become their custom, she's lying beside his upright body, because he almost always reads before he goes to sleep. In some ways they have become an old married couple, except for the fact that even at almost eight months pregnant, Elena sometimes looks at him and wants him with a ferociousness that rivals their early days together. The books all said it was hormones (she knows because Damon's read them all), but she thinks it’s probably something specific about him, too.
(About her and him together.)
Mad, passionate love. What she had in her heart for him, and what he never failed to show her he felt in practically every action he made.
"Oh, please, don't start that again," he groans, shaking his head. "Between you and Lydia and your constant comments on my attentiveness and thoroughness-read: obsession-with this whole baby thing, I'm beginning to feel my masculinity dwindle down to nothingness."
Elena closes her eyes and snuggles next to him; despite her desire for him, often the fatigue she feels squashes some of the energy she'd need to follow through on her wants. "I can't help how adorable you are; I just have to comment on it."
He snorts, but says nothing.
She opens an eye and looks up at him. "You know, I was really worried about this whole Stefan-coming-home thing, but it's been fine. I'm super glad about that."
He looks down at her and then brushes his fingers over her cheek. "Me, too," he says softly. He gently pinches her bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger. "Get some sleep, baby momma."
She drifts away with his hand in her hair.
Elena, if describing herself, would say that her greatest attribute is her steadfastness once she's made a decision. She weighs things out for a long time before she settles on something, and writing her feelings and thoughts down in a journal has always been part of her process.
So, before she approaches Stefan with the latest decision she's made, she contemplates just what she should say to him about it. She knows she needs to be truthful about her motives, and she needs advice from someone who isn't Damon. She could talk to Caroline, but she has no doubt it would get back to Stefan what with all the time they spend together now, so she chooses to sidestep all of that and go straight to the source.
So while Damon's at a Council meeting, she finds Stefan in his room at his desk. He is also writing in his journal, and she smiles to herself, remembering the things that brought them together. She is grateful for that time, even though she went through a lot of pain. She's certain she wouldn't be here now if not for that-if not for Stefan coming into her life. And now that she's on the backside of it, she's sure it's a good thing.
He looks up as she walks into the room. "Hey, there," he says.
"I need to tell you something," she says, not even trying to beat around the bush. She just wants it out there, wants to be honest and forthcoming, and...she doesn't want to hurt him, but she just needs to say it. Before she loses her nerve.
He puts his pen down and gives her his full attention. "Okay," he says.
"I'm probably going to become a vampire at some point."
Stefan's brows shoot upward, and then his eyes fall to her belly. (Truthfully, she doesn't think he ever looks at her that he doesn't spend a good portion of that time staring at her stomach.) Then he just nods and his eyes lift to hers again. "Okay."
Somewhat deflated by the agreement in his response, and the understanding in his expression, she comes more fully into his room and gingerly lowers herself down on to the sofa that sits opposite from his desk. "So that's all you have to say?" she asks in exasperation. She expected it to be harder; for him to be injured by the news that she didn't have the same reservations with Damon that she'd had with him.
It's not even about Stefan or Damon, in reality. She sort of realizes that as she's watching the play of emotion over his face; her decision is about her and the fact that she's changed as a person. Given the chance to have a child has helped her realize it. As her daughter has grown within her, as she's felt the movement of life, the meaning of it, and the opportunity of it not ending, but going on indefinitely had begun to appeal to her. The one thing she knows is that she wants to be with Damon forever; it had been a young girl in the throes of first love who had been practical enough to determine things like that don't last forever. It's the wisdom she possesses as the woman she is now, even though she's barely two years older in actual time that provided a different answer with a different vampire boyfriend.
Stefan rubs his hands together and leans forward to prop his elbows on his knees, bringing him closer to her in the process. He smiles at her, softly, and she can see that he's choosing his words carefully. "I know you wouldn't make that decision lightly. I also know that something pretty profound has happened between you and Damon-and I don't mean the baby-for you to come to that conclusion. Do you want me to say I'm disappointed? I'm not, Elena. I trust your judgment; I always have. Even though you've made decisions I wouldn't have made for you, they weren't my choices; they were yours. They are yours. You love Damon. You want to be with him forever. Becoming a vampire is the logical ending to that train of thought."
He sits back, still gazing at her with a particularly gentle expression. "Things changed, and you got to experience events that you needed to go through to know this is the right path for you. I'd be lying if I said part of me doesn't wish it was me; but it's not and I have never seen Damon like this. He's more content-at peace-than at any time ever in his existence. You've given him something that no one else ever could."
The emotion that flows between them is a connection she could only have dreamed they might one day share. Just as she has suspected since the moment he left Mystic Falls with Klaus, she knows for sure now that Stefan's primary concern is Damon. Damon is fine, and thus, so is Stefan. She leans forward and puts her hand over his. "Stefan, I'll always love you; you'll always be my first love. It's just different now."
"I know," he says. Again, he's so agreeable that Elena realizes she had been creating conflict in her head that doesn't actually exist.
It's another perfect moment in the middle of a season of her life she isn't sure she deserves.
Grace comes on a Thursday morning, screaming her way into the world while Elena bears downs and crushes Damon's hand in hers. He jokes with her later that it's a good thing he has super-healing powers because she definitely broke two of his fingers. Then he kisses her in an all-too sexy manner considering she has just given birth and they won't be doing anything like that for some time.
She holds her baby girl, swaddled in a pink nursery blanket, and Damon gets in the hospital bed with her so he "can hold both my girls at the same time." Elena refrains from telling him he's as adorable as their newborn baby.
A few weeks later, Elena's changing Grace's diaper as Damon jumps up to join them on his giant bed. "Need some help?" he asks, leaning down to nuzzle the side of Grace's head. She reaches a small hand up and grabs at his nose.
Elena smiles at him. "No, it looks like I've got it all under control here. Although you can hold her if you want. She just ate, so she'll be content for a bit."
As he scoops up the baby, his eyes catch hers and he asks, "What would you think about us getting married?" as casually as he would ask her what time it is.
Her mouth drops open and she freezes in the act of wrapping up the wet diaper for disposal. She gasps for an answer because she really hadn't expected him to ever say such a thing. "Wait. What?" she splutters, and a grin spreads over his face that's so cocky she wants to slap him.
"Stefan was right! He said you'd totally go for it."
Elena frowns. "I don't believe I answered in the affirmative."
"No need," he says, tugging Grace close to his chest and dipping his face down to press kisses to the dark hair on the crown of her head. "I can tell you want it."
"This is not the way you propose, Damon. It's supposed to be romantic."
"Well, technically, it shoulda come before the baby, too, but since we already blew that all to hell, I say what does it matter?" He straightens up and looks her full in the face, drawing his eyes away from the baby in his arms. "Seriously. You wanna marry me?"
Elena shrugs and turns away from him, sliding across the bed to get off of it. "Sure, why not? We'll just do it some afternoon when none of us are busy." She walks towards the bathroom, tosses Grace's soiled diaper in the trash, but doesn't turn around when he calls after her. She switches on the tap and starts running a bath for herself.
He comes in a few minutes later as she's undressing and adding bath salts to the rising water. "I am serious, Elena," he says, his voice now carrying the deliberateness she thought he would have employed for such a moment.
She turns around and looks at him as she drops her shirt and bra on the floor. His eyes follow the lines of her body as if compelled to do so (his preoccupation with her breasts has increased as their voluptuousness-via-breast-milk has continued), and she answers him with a sincerely sarcastic, "So am I. Just plan it for one day next week." She waves her hand airily. "Grace and I have our four-week check-up on Thursday, so that's my only day that's busy."
His gaze focuses on her face as she bends over to remove her pants and underwear. "Elena..." She sees the horror register in his eyes as he contemplates the magnitude of his fuck up.
Reaching for a scrunchie, she drags all her hair up into a messy bun on the top of her head (and his eyes inevitably fall to her chest again). "I'm going to take a bath. Why don't you take Grace and rock her and leave me in peace for a bit?"
She steps into the tub, sinks down until her shoulders are almost completely covered and leans back, resting her head against the lip of the tub. Suddenly one of her favorite classical CDs comes on and she glances over to see Damon balancing the baby in one arm while he adjusts the volume so that it's softly playing in the background.
"It's gonna take a lot more than that, Salvatore!" she calls.
He moves away from the stereo towards the rocking chair in the corner. "I've just realized that. I'll be pondering it while I'm over here in a timeout with my daughter."
He can't help it, she knows; the snark is just inherent in everything that comes out his mouth, but he somehow manages to infuse just the right amount of chagrin into his words too and Elena fights a grin. "I may be an ass, Elena," he says loud enough for her to hear, settling into the chair. "But I do love you, and I want to marry you."
She meets his gaze for just a moment. "Prove it," she states. Then she closes her eyes and lets her tired body relax.
Over the next several days, his normally deferential treatment of her increases to the point that both Caroline and Stefan comment on it, and when Jeremy, Ric, and Bonnie come over for dinner that night, Ric asks loudly halfway through dinner, "What the hell did you do?"
Damon mutters, "Shut the fuck up," and Elena just looks at Ric with a whatever do you mean? expression.
"He's being too nice," Ric says, pointing at Damon as though none of them know who he means.
“What do you mean?” Bonnie snarks. "Damon's always nice." Damon salutes her with his glass and a slightly raised middle finger.
"Damon is very sweet," Elena says, quite earnestly, waiting a beat while he rolls his eyes. "I think I hear Grace crying; she must be up from her nap. Would you go get her?" she asks.
Damon smirk-grimaces and leaves the table to get his daughter. Elena continues her act of innocence for her dinner guests even though they all look at her expectantly once Damon's exited the room.
She never does say a word about it, and when Damon returns with the baby, everyone forgets about it in the wake of oohing and ahhing over their gorgeous child.
The day Elena gets home from the check up, she can feel an odd tension in the house. The Boarding House is always a hub of activity, their friends in and out at all times of the day, but it's eerily quiet when she walks in.
The doctor had been pleased with her healing process, telling her that everything looked good to go, but to expect that her first attempt post-pregnancy at intercourse might make her flashback to her first time. (Not that anything with Damon would ever be like that awkward bumbling time with Matt, but Elena got what the doctor meant: pain wise, it might be like being a virgin all over again.) She had just nodded and smiled, not sharing with anyone what she had done to help the healing process along. Caroline had provided a bit of vampire blood, because the truth is, Elena was tired of not being able to have sex. Sure she's exhausted being a new mom, but she and Damon have chemistry, and pretty much every time she breast-fed their daughter, the way he watched the interaction made her pulse race.
It had been weeks, and she needed him.
But after some of Caroline's blood a week earlier, she felt fan-freaking-tastic, and had almost attacked Damon that evening. She only restrained herself because Grace had picked that particular night to be fussy, and then he became so convinced that the baby had colic, he'd been reading stuff online on and off for as long as it took them to get the baby to sleep (four o'clock in the morning; it's a good thing neither of them had jobs). Then they'd both passed out, and the next day three books had arrived via FedEx about colic.
Of course, Grace has not been grumpy since, but that hardly mattered. Sometimes Elena thought they would need to convert one of the unused bedrooms into another, smaller library, one devoted exclusively to baby-related books.
Anyway, as she comes in now, with Grace in her pumpkin seat, to a very still Boarding House, Caroline appears in front of her. "Hand Gracie over. Auntie Care and Uncle Stef are on baby duty while you and Damon have a romantic evening."
Though she knows she’d really enjoy that, she also doesn’t let go when Caroline tries to snag the car seat from her grasp. “Wait, what? I can’t just let you take my baby…” She looks down to see her daughter sleeping peacefully, but the idea of not being nearby when she wakes is not something she thinks she's ready for.
“We’ll be out back in the carriage house,” Caroline promises, tugging gently. “Not far at all if the baby needs her mom.” When Elena still won't let go, Caroline gives her a stern look. "Do you really think Damon would let me take your child without a plan? He's got his phone and if there's anything amiss, I will call. Elena, I promise. We're going to be like fifty feet away."
Reluctantly, Elena lets go of the handle and Caroline moves vampire-speedily towards the door. She stops abruptly to say, "I pulled the extra breast milk from the fridge. We'll be back in a few hours. Enjoy yourself!"
The last sentence is by definition a total command, but Elena thinks she knows what's going on now. And, just as suddenly, she wishes she hadn't made such a big deal out of it. Everything in their relationship has been a bit dramatic, and this could have been the one thing that was just simple, that they just decided together. She didn't have to make him beg for it.
She runs up the stairs to their bedroom, intent on interrupting whatever speech he has prepared with an excited hell yes, I'll marry you, Damon Salvatore! but as she skids through the doorway, she loses her breath.
The bed, so ginormous to begin with, is freshly made with white linens, but also ensconced in wispy white curtains that hang from newly erected bed posts. There is candlelight throughout the room, soft music playing, and a bottle of champagne sits on the bureau in an ice bucket. There are strawberries, cheese, and an assortment of other snack items, but the most important part is Damon standing there with his smirkiest smirk on trying to cover up the worry in his eyes that she won't like it.
(Which is ridiculous, because who wouldn't like this?)
She just shakes her head and says, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made you do this." She crosses the threshold and quickly runs over to hug him. "Don't ask me, Damon. You know I want to marry you, and I should have just said so when you brought it up."
He cups her face in his hands and smiles, the concern evaporating from his gaze. "I have long had this fantasy, so it really is my pleasure." He kisses her lips gently and then draws her into his arms. "You okay with Gracie being across the lawn?" She nods and then he plants one hand at the small of her back and spins her around the room.
"What are you doing?" she asks, her hands gripping his upper arms to balance herself.
"I'm dancing with my betrothed," he says; his voice is low and charged and immediately her body begins to flush. "Did the doctor give you good news?" he asks. His lips tease along her hairline and cheekbone as he easily moves them around in a small figure eight.
She nods and then moans when his tongue draws a line down the edge of her jaw and his mouth slips below it to her pulse point. He sucks her skin up against his teeth, something he's fond of doing because he won't actually bite her.
Against her throat he whispers, "I love you, Elena. And I'm amazed by you, and enthralled by you, and completely whipped by you, and I don't even care. Please tell me again that you want to marry me."
Elena shoves her hands into his hair to pull his mouth from her neck. "I want to marry you," she murmurs and then their lips touch and the rest of it becomes a blur of heat; tongue, teeth, breath all intermingling; whimpers and sighs and groans that leave nothing to the imagination as to how much they enjoy each other.
Shortly, when they're naked and on the bed, his mouth finds that spot on her neck again and she knows he's leaving a bruise without taking what he really wants. She slides her hands down his back and hooks her legs around his, pulling him in tight to her so that as he presses himself against her, she's drawing him in anxiously at the same time. When he bottoms out inside, she gasps and he mutters, "Yeah, baby," into her neck and Elena threads one hand into the hair at the base of his skull.
"Bite me," she says, both demanding and cajoling with the press of her fingers against the back of his head. She arches her neck under his lips purposefully. "Please, Damon, I want you to."
He still hesitates and it feels like the longest fifteen seconds of her life. A montage of memories blaze across her mind; so many moments they've shared in their short history, but each one more significant than the one preceding it. This is it; this is the last barrier between them. She feels his fangs as they elongate and he growls savagely, and the thrill of it is almost enough to send her over the edge; but then, then his teeth sink into her and he drinks, and she convulses around him, moaning his name as the moment stretches out timelessly.
Suddenly, his hips lose their steady rhythm, becoming furiously uncontrollable until she feels him come undone. It doesn't hurt at all, anywhere, and when he finishes, he slumps against her, breathing hard. He manages to press a gentle kiss to the wound at her throat.
He moves to lie beside her and Elena realizes she's crying at the same moment he does. Instantly his eyes widen in panic and he jams his hand under her chin to examine the place he bit her. "I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine," she says, batting his hand away. "I'm fine. I just-I've wanted this for a long time, for you to be you, completely, with me. Now, I don't just want to get married, I feel like it's right for us to get married."
His response is to kiss her mouth wildly as though he wants to just pull her on top of him and start it all over again, but when he draws back, his eyes are deeply penetrating. "I have only ever been myself with you, because before you were here, I was incomplete."
Elena kisses him then, softly, and snuggles into him, loving him more with each passing breath. When they're lying face to face on one of the large pillows, she touches his face gently and asks, "Would you like to have more kids?"
He's momentarily speechless, but she sees the answer in his eyes. "I love Gracie so much, Elena. So much. If she's all we ever have, it will be enough."
"But..."
"But nothing," he says soberly.
"What about a little boy? You want one, don't you?"
"We could try again and end up with another girl, and I would love her just as much."
"Damon!"
"Okay, fine. I'm being too politically correct! Yes, I'd like a boy. But I wouldn't love him anymore than I love our daughter."
She nods. "I know that, goofball. So, we'll have more kids, in a couple years, or so?"
"Do you want to?" he asks.
"Yes," she states emphatically. "I keep imagining a little boy called Grayson with your eyes, and possibly your smirk as well." He smirks and it makes her laugh. She keeps stroking his cheek as she states, "And after that, I want to become a vampire."
He grows still, the way he always does when he hears something he doesn't agree with; she can see it in his eyes, watches the struggle across his face, but he chokes the words back-whatever negative thing he wants to say doesn't come out. Instead, he says in a very controlled manner, "Stefan mentioned that, too."
Now Elena smirks. "If I'd known you two were so close now that you traded state secrets, I might have kept my plans to myself."
"He says with us and Caroline around to help, your transition would be much easier. But-"
Elena puts her finger to his lips. "But nothing. There was a time when you wanted me to become a vampire, remember?"
He snags her hand in his and laces their fingers. "I never wanted you to be a vampire, I just didn't want you to be dead. There's a big difference, Elena."
"Do you want to be with me, forever?"
"Elena-"
"Do you, Damon? Do you want to be with me, always?"
Frustrated, he clenches his jaw and then lets the words spill out, "Of course, I do."
"That's what I want, too." She squeezes her fingers around his tightly. "I want to be with you forever; and to do that, I have to live forever."
He blinks, and she knows he's remembering that night, their first together as "friends" in Georgia, the first time she saved his life. But she takes it a step further, making it so much about what has passed between just the two of them, when she says, "I will always choose you, Damon. This is me choosing you."
He leans into her and kisses her mouth gently, then he releases a pent-up breath against her chin. He presses his forehead to hers, and closes his eyes. "There was this one time, when I compelled you," he begins, his voice softer than she's ever heard it. "The night we got you back from Rose and Elijah, and you got your vervain necklace back?" He doesn't pause for her to respond. "I told you I loved you, and then I made you forget it."
"Why?" she asks.
"Because I never thought this could happen; even if you could forgive me for all the shit I pulled, you could never love me, not the way I love you. But I thought if I told you, one time, I could just let it go... I was wrong, though. Saying it out loud made it grow, like a wildfire, until it consumed me, until the only way I could ever have peace was if I knew you were happy, and safe, and had whatever you wanted and needed."
She smiles even as tears spring to her eyes, feeling overcome with emotion. "You are what I want and need."
He gives a watery half-laugh. "I know! Isn't that the craziest thing, like, ever?"
Elena just kisses him again because he's right.
It's the unlikeliest of stories, but it's the one she'll tell her children when they are old enough to decide for themselves which kind of life they want to have.
Elena Gilbert Salvatore is twenty-three the day she gives birth to her third child, a son, John Grayson Salvatore. Her second daughter, Summer Rose had been born two years previously, named after Jenna, whose middle name had also been Rose. She's the only one they call by her full name; Damon says it's very southern of them to do so.
She waits until Gray is almost two years old, which makes her twenty-five (and one year older than Damon, technically speaking), and then she and Damon go away for the weekend. Stefan and Caroline accompany them to make sure everything goes smoothly while Alaric stays with the kids.
She transitions without any accidental murders; after all she knows what to expect. The frown that settles between her husband's brows doesn't ease during those days at the lake house, but eventually, when they venture out into public places and Elena is able to keep a lid on it, they decide it's okay to go home.
She is both a vampire and a mother-a concept never before dreamt of, and something that would probably curdle the blood of any of her ancestors. Damon relaxes when their little girls run into their mother's arms and she has no desire to bite them whatsoever.
Later he gives her his theory: "It's the doppelganger thing; I bet you're like the most chill vampire ever because of the other supernatural being that you are."
"Maybe," she says with a shrug. It ceased to matter a long time ago what exactly caused any of it.
Her children carry the names of the people she and Damon have most loved, but they also tell a story on their own. Gray is the place Elena had to come to, to accept what was in her heart. She left black and white behind her when she met Stefan Salvatore and his brother. Summer is the time when she fell completely in love with the man she wants to wake up to every day for the rest of forever, and Grace is what saved both of them when any number of things (his fears, her determination to make him accept the obvious) might have driven them apart.
She writes that in her journal, saving it for the day when she gets to teach them about their history.