[fic] Sluts Are Born, Not Made
Title: Sluts Are Born, Not Made
Author: badboy_fangirl
Rating: hard R
Characters/Pairings: Lori POV, Lori/Shane, Lori/Rick
Category: Angst
Word Count: ~600
Summary: How Lori Grimes became a slut.
Spoilers: Up through 1x03 "Tell It to the Frogs"
Warnings: n/a
Show/Bookverse: Show
Author's Notes: Not sure where this came from. *eyes wrldpossibility*
The first time Shane makes love to Lori, she cries the whole time. It's been four and a half weeks since they left home (since Rick died), and it's too soon, but it's not soon enough, not when the whole world has shifted into unrecognizable chaos.
She wants to feel something--feel safe--and she thinks his strong arms will do it. But the more he touches her, and kisses her, and then when he enters her, all she can focus on is how he feels different than Rick, and how Rick died without her ever apologizing for the nagging, and the bitching, and all the horrible things she had said (and the even more horrible things she'd thought) because she was unhappy and unfulfilled in her life. Back before everything that seemed to matter so much melted away into total insignificance.
Now, she'd give anything to have her boring, mundane housewife-y life back. And her husband, she would give anything--everything--to have him back, even for one day.
The second time they do it, Shane just flips her onto her belly and fucks her from behind, and she comes so hard she sees stars. She cries that time too, but he can't see it, and what he doesn't know can't bother him.
(What he doesn't understand is that she cries because it feels so good, and a huge part of her wishes it didn't.)
*
The day Rick walks into camp, Lori is so shocked that the only thing she can do is hold him and cry, and think about the fact that early that morning, Shane made her come twice. In the woods behind hers and Carl's tent, where no one could hear her panting moans, he used his mouth for the first one, his tongue and teeth expertly strumming her clit, before he flipped her over for the usual hard pounding from behind. She called his name once, and then his hand covered her mouth to stifle a scream into his palm. He grunted into the nape of her neck things like, "Fuck me, baby," and "I can't get enough," and "Goddamn, baby, you make me so hot."
Her shame is exponential that night when Rick slides inside her, hard and familiar, and so sweet, she can't contain her emotion. She fakes an orgasm while tears pour down her cheeks because she just can't stand for him to think she doesn't want him. Because she does; she wants him so much that she knows if he ever finds out about Shane, even Shane's duplicitous actions won't excuse her, and because she can't forgive herself, she's certain he won't be able to, either.
Not when he thinks about how the only thing she should have been concerned about was their son, and staying alive, and escaping with the family photos. Those were all things she'd thought about, certainly, but they hadn't been the only things.
Even as she snipes at Shane in the river the next day, and his guilty face makes her feel sorry for him at the same time it pisses her off, she walks away with two truths.
She loves her husband, very much. But she wants her lover anyway.
Who she is now is not who she was then; she's been born anew into a world that seethes with dead things and it's somehow rotted her soul. She'll burn in hell for her lustful heart, but she'll never sacrifice her family ever again.
Author: badboy_fangirl
Rating: hard R
Characters/Pairings: Lori POV, Lori/Shane, Lori/Rick
Category: Angst
Word Count: ~600
Summary: How Lori Grimes became a slut.
Spoilers: Up through 1x03 "Tell It to the Frogs"
Warnings: n/a
Show/Bookverse: Show
Author's Notes: Not sure where this came from. *eyes wrldpossibility*
The first time Shane makes love to Lori, she cries the whole time. It's been four and a half weeks since they left home (since Rick died), and it's too soon, but it's not soon enough, not when the whole world has shifted into unrecognizable chaos.
She wants to feel something--feel safe--and she thinks his strong arms will do it. But the more he touches her, and kisses her, and then when he enters her, all she can focus on is how he feels different than Rick, and how Rick died without her ever apologizing for the nagging, and the bitching, and all the horrible things she had said (and the even more horrible things she'd thought) because she was unhappy and unfulfilled in her life. Back before everything that seemed to matter so much melted away into total insignificance.
Now, she'd give anything to have her boring, mundane housewife-y life back. And her husband, she would give anything--everything--to have him back, even for one day.
The second time they do it, Shane just flips her onto her belly and fucks her from behind, and she comes so hard she sees stars. She cries that time too, but he can't see it, and what he doesn't know can't bother him.
(What he doesn't understand is that she cries because it feels so good, and a huge part of her wishes it didn't.)
*
The day Rick walks into camp, Lori is so shocked that the only thing she can do is hold him and cry, and think about the fact that early that morning, Shane made her come twice. In the woods behind hers and Carl's tent, where no one could hear her panting moans, he used his mouth for the first one, his tongue and teeth expertly strumming her clit, before he flipped her over for the usual hard pounding from behind. She called his name once, and then his hand covered her mouth to stifle a scream into his palm. He grunted into the nape of her neck things like, "Fuck me, baby," and "I can't get enough," and "Goddamn, baby, you make me so hot."
Her shame is exponential that night when Rick slides inside her, hard and familiar, and so sweet, she can't contain her emotion. She fakes an orgasm while tears pour down her cheeks because she just can't stand for him to think she doesn't want him. Because she does; she wants him so much that she knows if he ever finds out about Shane, even Shane's duplicitous actions won't excuse her, and because she can't forgive herself, she's certain he won't be able to, either.
Not when he thinks about how the only thing she should have been concerned about was their son, and staying alive, and escaping with the family photos. Those were all things she'd thought about, certainly, but they hadn't been the only things.
Even as she snipes at Shane in the river the next day, and his guilty face makes her feel sorry for him at the same time it pisses her off, she walks away with two truths.
She loves her husband, very much. But she wants her lover anyway.
Who she is now is not who she was then; she's been born anew into a world that seethes with dead things and it's somehow rotted her soul. She'll burn in hell for her lustful heart, but she'll never sacrifice her family ever again.