Insanity averted
Inspired by this post and the comments therein, I hope that by creating this fake (FAKE! FFAAKKEE!!) splash page, the urge to actually create this game will go away, and I can cease being worried that I have gone completely insane:
Hidden on the secluded moors of Scotland, Miss Scrimmage's Finishing School for Young Assassins is the place to send the promising young pureblooded offspring of the Dark Lord's followers. (Due to declining enrolment, however, the snooty school has found it necessary to open its doors to a few of the less desirable elements, but it's simply a topic not discussed.) The school promises to turn out the world's most refined and undetectable Death Eaters, assassins, spies, and ne'er-do-wells in the world, as well as the most loyal, disciplined and intelligent minions on the market. Speciality classes provide opportunity for every dastardly profession conceivable, from accomplished Animal Trainers (who are capable of turning out the most deadly of Attack Dragons, Moat Monsters and Ill-Tempered Sea Bass) to Masterminds (who play their enemies and allies alike as most people play chess) to the most undetectable of Intelligence Operatives (who can seduce or cajole or ferret out the most protected of secrets), to the most pitiless of torturers (as cold-hearted as they are creative).
There are, similar to Hogwart's although Scrimmage's claims to have done the idea first, four School Houses, each geared to specific characteristics:
Thuggfodd: for the strong, the brave, the loyal. Black/blue. Three-headed Dog.
Shadowpaw: for the small, the weak, the sneaky. Black/black. Small Black Cat.
Flamboyabonn: for the colourful, the outgoing, the manipulative. Black/green. Bright Peacock.
Velvemanus: for the cunning, the sly, the subtle. Black/silver. Spider.
Two houses that work in the shadows, and two houses that work in the light. Come and play a student in the toughest school to survive in, and where the 'sudden death' overtime in Quiddich is to be avoided AT ALL COSTS.
THE PITCH:
One word: CRACKTASTIC. The game was conceived after reading on bad_rpers_suck that too many Hogwarts students were trained as assassins. DO NOT TAKE THIS GAME SERIOUSLY. And be prepared to go through characters like the hay-fevered go through tissues. Students die here, and frequently. Either they're snarky in class and the teachers send the Detention Squad to solve the problem permanently, or they fall victim to each other's homework assignments, or they simply fail a "Detect Poison" pop quiz.
Feel free to go stupid with your characters. No matter how angsty-sparklypoo, they likely won't last long anyway. No character approval process. Just make someone up and jump right in.
As GM, however, when I say your character is dead, there's no arguing with me. They're dead. Make another character and go wreak your vengeance.
This is a joke game, and likely won't last very long. Have your fun while you can. Dramawhoring IC is encouraged. Dramawhoring OOC will get you mocked. PRETENDY FUNTIME GAMES, PEOPLE.
Now shoo! Go have fun.
I feel I should reiterate: THIS GAME IS NOT REAL. I just have to get it out of my system or I'll do something stupid like actually create the damn thing.
Hidden on the secluded moors of Scotland, Miss Scrimmage's Finishing School for Young Assassins is the place to send the promising young pureblooded offspring of the Dark Lord's followers. (Due to declining enrolment, however, the snooty school has found it necessary to open its doors to a few of the less desirable elements, but it's simply a topic not discussed.) The school promises to turn out the world's most refined and undetectable Death Eaters, assassins, spies, and ne'er-do-wells in the world, as well as the most loyal, disciplined and intelligent minions on the market. Speciality classes provide opportunity for every dastardly profession conceivable, from accomplished Animal Trainers (who are capable of turning out the most deadly of Attack Dragons, Moat Monsters and Ill-Tempered Sea Bass) to Masterminds (who play their enemies and allies alike as most people play chess) to the most undetectable of Intelligence Operatives (who can seduce or cajole or ferret out the most protected of secrets), to the most pitiless of torturers (as cold-hearted as they are creative).
There are, similar to Hogwart's although Scrimmage's claims to have done the idea first, four School Houses, each geared to specific characteristics:
Thuggfodd: for the strong, the brave, the loyal. Black/blue. Three-headed Dog.
Shadowpaw: for the small, the weak, the sneaky. Black/black. Small Black Cat.
Flamboyabonn: for the colourful, the outgoing, the manipulative. Black/green. Bright Peacock.
Velvemanus: for the cunning, the sly, the subtle. Black/silver. Spider.
Two houses that work in the shadows, and two houses that work in the light. Come and play a student in the toughest school to survive in, and where the 'sudden death' overtime in Quiddich is to be avoided AT ALL COSTS.
THE PITCH:
One word: CRACKTASTIC. The game was conceived after reading on bad_rpers_suck that too many Hogwarts students were trained as assassins. DO NOT TAKE THIS GAME SERIOUSLY. And be prepared to go through characters like the hay-fevered go through tissues. Students die here, and frequently. Either they're snarky in class and the teachers send the Detention Squad to solve the problem permanently, or they fall victim to each other's homework assignments, or they simply fail a "Detect Poison" pop quiz.
Feel free to go stupid with your characters. No matter how angsty-sparklypoo, they likely won't last long anyway. No character approval process. Just make someone up and jump right in.
As GM, however, when I say your character is dead, there's no arguing with me. They're dead. Make another character and go wreak your vengeance.
This is a joke game, and likely won't last very long. Have your fun while you can. Dramawhoring IC is encouraged. Dramawhoring OOC will get you mocked. PRETENDY FUNTIME GAMES, PEOPLE.
Now shoo! Go have fun.
I feel I should reiterate: THIS GAME IS NOT REAL. I just have to get it out of my system or I'll do something stupid like actually create the damn thing.