RPS Ficlet - Take the Sky by Thunder [1/1]
I was reading way, way too much Bigbang fic and just had to get creative somehow. Which then turned into… this. (The title is from the ‘Sky Pirates’ Disney song, not that I’ve ever seen whatever that’s from.)
Fic title: Take the Sky by Thunder
Pairing: J2 pre-slash
Rating: PG for mild violence and sexual references
Disclaimer: I think it’s safe to say that this never happened.
Word count: 1,884
Warnings: Crack. Complete and utter crack. Sky!pirate!Jensen and wizard!Jared. I probably don’t have to mention that it’s AU.
~
“Listen, you don’t have to do this.”
Jared tries his best to sound reasonable instead of terrified, but he doesn’t think he is having a lot of success. He takes a deep breath. Think positively, he tells himself firmly. There is a bright side: He is still alive.
On the not-so-bright-side, he is stuck on a flying ship in the middle of a thunderstorm with Jensen Captain Psycho Ackles, shackled by the silver bracelet on his wrist and about to get mauled by sky pirates, but at least that part doesn’t matter so much because he is on a pirate ship himself.
Oh God.
“You really don’t,” Jared repeats, tugging lightly at the bracelet that binds his magic and renders him completely helpless. It sizzles faintly but doesn’t give.
“Quiet, Wizard,” Ackles tells him. Jared shuts his mouth and stares at the man hanging from the shrouds. The pirate holds a pistol in his free hand and has a saber tied around his waist with a black sash, black like his billowing shirt and pants and his suede boots. His eye patch is black, too, but somehow that just makes him more daring and handsome and shows off his tanned face and his closely cropped blondish hair. His patch-free eye is so green it seems to flash at Jared, but that might just be the lightening.
Thunder cracks directly overhead and the beat-up little ship with its tattered sails wobbles dangerously.
“Oh God,” Jared whimpers.
Ackles lets his pistol fall at his side.
“Listen, do you need it in writing? We’re in a bit of a bind here, in case you hadn’t noticed, so please do me a favor and let me concentrate.”
“Sorry,” Jared murmurs, staring at his feet to hide the blush rising in his cheeks. God, he is still in his Academy robes, too, a dark velvety green with black embroidery that looks really cool if you have the hood up and wander around the market place trying to look threatening, but now he probably just looks wind-swept and flustered and he’s probably bitten his lips so much that they have turned an unnatural red. Jared really wishes he had listened to his mama and stayed home and used his magic to cook and fence in the pigs, because what kind of idiot treks all the way to the capital and spends years at the Academy only to get himself kidnapped by some kind of nutcase pirate with slender wrists and soft lips - so soft - the first week after graduation?
Ackles leans out over the railing so far that Jared almost jumps forward to haul him back in, and by the time he remembers that he is supposed to be trying to get rid of Ackles, not trying to save his life, the man has righted himself again.
“I can’t see them,” he announces. Jared whimpers again.
Ackles peers at him.
“You’re not going to hurl, are you?” he asks, “Because we kinda don’t have time for that right now.”
Jared shakes his head hurriedly, then quickly stops and covers his mouth with his hand.
“You know, for a Master Wizard you’re a bit jumpy,” Ackles tells him.
“Well, excuse me,” Jared grumps, and he has to be feeling okay after all if he is well enough to snap at the guy who is, oh, holding his life in his hands, “I don’t make a habit of getting kidnapped by sky pirates with crappy ships.”
Jensen, to Jared’s complete surprise, starts to laugh.
“So I’m your first then. Charming,” he says. Jared frowns for a moment before his brain catches up with his ears and he flushes a bright red. Ackles makes his way across the swaying deck towards the helm. Jared somehow has a lot more trouble staying steady as he trudges after him.
“Shouldn’t you be taking care of the other ship?” he asks.
“On my way,” Jensen tells him. He wraps one hand around the rope holding the helm in place and fumbles in his pocket for a small compass. He flips it open, frowns at it, shakes it a few times and then smiles, satisfied.
“Okay,” he says, “They’re right below us.”
“Oh,” Jared says faintly.
Jensen gives him a brilliant smile. “Nah, it’s okay,” he says, “I can outmaneuver them if I just improvise a little.”
“Don’t you have a crew to help you with that?” Jared asks, frowning slightly.
“Oh, that.” Jensen grins at him. “We kind of left in a hurry.”
Jared doesn’t get it.
Jensen sighs.
“I had to get out of there quick after I snagged you, okay? I didn’t have time to tell them I was leaving. They’re still in the bar where I picked you up.”
“So there’s… no crew?” Jared asks, still faintly. The small part of him that isn’t freaking out is a little bit miffed about the derogative, if true, description of how Jensen managed to ‘snag’ him in the first place.
“Nope,” Ackles announces cheerfully. He has untied the helm and is now fumbling with a small machine next to it, frowning at it when he pushes at a lever and it doesn’t move.
“You know, I could help you if you took the bracelet off,” Jared offers. Jensen looks like a guy who wants to do everything by himself, but Jared would rather not die today if he has a choice, thank you.
Sure enough, Jensen gives him a queer-eyed look.
“Forgive me for declining that offer,” he says, green eye blazing, “How stupid do you think I am? Like you wouldn’t just blast us all out of the fucking sky.”
Jared frowns.
“I’m not that bad,” he says plaintively, “If you pointed me in the right direction I could probably hit them without harming our ship.”
Jensen stares at him.
“That’s not what I - Never mind. Just hang on to the rails, okay?”
Jared obeys, then he has a thought and turns back.
“What’s your plan?” he yells over the wind.
“I’m going to try to disappear in the clouds,” Jensen calls back, “And just,” he waves a twitchy hand, “Hold on to something for Christ’s sake, would you?”
Jared puts one hand on the railing, giving the bracelet a dirty look. Jensen looks really tense and Jared doesn’t want to disturb him, but minutes pass and they aren’t really getting away.
“It’s not working,” Jensen finally yells, “They’re just too damn fast.”
He motions for Jared to get down, quickly ties the helm and presses himself against the railing next to Jared.
“Don’t freak out, okay?” he calls, “We’ll be fine unless they-“
A cannonball whizzes past them and disappears somewhere in the clouds above.
“Shit,” Jensen says.
“So we’re not fine?” Jared demands.
“Now, we’re not fine!” Jensen snarls, looking panicky for the first time, “We’re about to die, that’s how not fine we are.”
Jared frowns. Jensen makes it sound like they are completely out of options. Which they kind of are. Except…
“Just take the damn bracelet off!” Jared yells in Jensen’s ear, “I know I’m not very good, but at least let me try.”
“What makes you think I’m suicidal?” Jensen yells back.
“I’m not that bad,” Jared hisses at him. “I know you think I’m a bumbling idiot, but it’s really starting to annoy me.”
Jensen stares at him for a moment, open-mouthed. Then he spreads his hands in exasperation.
“I know that you’re not a bumbling idiot, Wizard, thank you very much.”
He jabs a finger at the brooch in the form of a hawk’s head that is holding Jared’s cloak together.
“They don’t hand those out to just anyone.”
Jared flushes as he fiddled with his cloak. It is true, the Hawk is an honor, but it can’t have that been that hard to get or Jared would never have gotten it pinned on his cloak during the ceremony. He isn’t very good. All he ever did at the Academy was keep Chad from blowing things up.
“So what’s the problem then?” he asks so quietly that Jensen has to lean in further.
The pirate rolls his eyes in exasperation.
“Like you won’t turn on me once the imminent danger is taken care of,” he snaps.
Now it is Jared’s turn to roll his eyes.
“It’s not like you’re not going to die either way, is it?” he hisses back.
Jensen stares at him for a moment longer, then he sighs deeply, reaches over and a moment later, the bracelet falls to the ground in a crumpled heap.
For a few seconds, all they do is stare at each other in anticipation. Then Jared feels his magic pulse through him, carefully uncoiling itself along his veins now that it is free, and jumps to his feet.
“Right, evil sky pirates,” he says, leaning over the railing. The ship plowing through the clouds underneath them is huge and scary, and there seem to be people scurrying all over it like busy little ants. God, this is going to be harder than he thought.
He collects his magic in his hands, just a tiny little ball, and sends it down to one of the emptier places where it scorches the planks of the deck and sends the pirates running. Jared grins at the suitably empty space and sends a large, hot ball of magic after the first that rocks the other ship and burns a sizeable hole into the wood.
Jared grins triumphantly when the ship lurches downward sharply - but not sharply enough to make Jared think that it is too damaged for the people on it to get home safely - and every man and woman on board scrambles forward to repair the damage.
“Up, Jensen!” Jared yells over his shoulder, “Up, bring us up!”
Jensen obeys and Jared has to grip the railing tightly to keep from being thrown overboard. The clouds roar and the wind rushes past him and the thunder cracks so closely to his head that he throws his hands over his ears
and then they are out in the sunshine, warm and steady and safe. Jared glances over his shoulder at Jensen and grins widely.
“Told you I could do it,” he says. Jensen loops the rope back over the helm, tying it in place, then he sinks to the floor with his back against it and sighs.
“Never said you couldn’t.”
Jared can’t think of anything to say to that. After a few moments of silence, he can feel the grin freeze on his face. Jensen is watching him just as warily.
With a frown, Jared tucks his hands into his armpits.
“You’re not going to put the bracelet back on me, are you?” he asks.
Jensen blinks at him. Then he looks around and shakes his head.
“Nah. I’m pretty sure we lost it somewhere during our daring escape.”
“Oh. Okay.” Jared smiles and flops down next to Jensen. “So, what are we doing next?”
“’We’?” Jensen asks, “As in, you and me?”
Jared nods.
“You want to stay here?” Jensen clarifies.
Jared nods again. “It was fun.”
For the first time since they met, Jensen’s lips curve into a small, warm, real smile. He nods thoughtfully.
“You know what, Wizard? This? Is going to be the start of a beautiful friendship.”
~
Follow-up here.
Um. Opinions?
Fic title: Take the Sky by Thunder
Pairing: J2 pre-slash
Rating: PG for mild violence and sexual references
Disclaimer: I think it’s safe to say that this never happened.
Word count: 1,884
Warnings: Crack. Complete and utter crack. Sky!pirate!Jensen and wizard!Jared. I probably don’t have to mention that it’s AU.
~
“Listen, you don’t have to do this.”
Jared tries his best to sound reasonable instead of terrified, but he doesn’t think he is having a lot of success. He takes a deep breath. Think positively, he tells himself firmly. There is a bright side: He is still alive.
On the not-so-bright-side, he is stuck on a flying ship in the middle of a thunderstorm with Jensen Captain Psycho Ackles, shackled by the silver bracelet on his wrist and about to get mauled by sky pirates, but at least that part doesn’t matter so much because he is on a pirate ship himself.
Oh God.
“You really don’t,” Jared repeats, tugging lightly at the bracelet that binds his magic and renders him completely helpless. It sizzles faintly but doesn’t give.
“Quiet, Wizard,” Ackles tells him. Jared shuts his mouth and stares at the man hanging from the shrouds. The pirate holds a pistol in his free hand and has a saber tied around his waist with a black sash, black like his billowing shirt and pants and his suede boots. His eye patch is black, too, but somehow that just makes him more daring and handsome and shows off his tanned face and his closely cropped blondish hair. His patch-free eye is so green it seems to flash at Jared, but that might just be the lightening.
Thunder cracks directly overhead and the beat-up little ship with its tattered sails wobbles dangerously.
“Oh God,” Jared whimpers.
Ackles lets his pistol fall at his side.
“Listen, do you need it in writing? We’re in a bit of a bind here, in case you hadn’t noticed, so please do me a favor and let me concentrate.”
“Sorry,” Jared murmurs, staring at his feet to hide the blush rising in his cheeks. God, he is still in his Academy robes, too, a dark velvety green with black embroidery that looks really cool if you have the hood up and wander around the market place trying to look threatening, but now he probably just looks wind-swept and flustered and he’s probably bitten his lips so much that they have turned an unnatural red. Jared really wishes he had listened to his mama and stayed home and used his magic to cook and fence in the pigs, because what kind of idiot treks all the way to the capital and spends years at the Academy only to get himself kidnapped by some kind of nutcase pirate with slender wrists and soft lips - so soft - the first week after graduation?
Ackles leans out over the railing so far that Jared almost jumps forward to haul him back in, and by the time he remembers that he is supposed to be trying to get rid of Ackles, not trying to save his life, the man has righted himself again.
“I can’t see them,” he announces. Jared whimpers again.
Ackles peers at him.
“You’re not going to hurl, are you?” he asks, “Because we kinda don’t have time for that right now.”
Jared shakes his head hurriedly, then quickly stops and covers his mouth with his hand.
“You know, for a Master Wizard you’re a bit jumpy,” Ackles tells him.
“Well, excuse me,” Jared grumps, and he has to be feeling okay after all if he is well enough to snap at the guy who is, oh, holding his life in his hands, “I don’t make a habit of getting kidnapped by sky pirates with crappy ships.”
Jensen, to Jared’s complete surprise, starts to laugh.
“So I’m your first then. Charming,” he says. Jared frowns for a moment before his brain catches up with his ears and he flushes a bright red. Ackles makes his way across the swaying deck towards the helm. Jared somehow has a lot more trouble staying steady as he trudges after him.
“Shouldn’t you be taking care of the other ship?” he asks.
“On my way,” Jensen tells him. He wraps one hand around the rope holding the helm in place and fumbles in his pocket for a small compass. He flips it open, frowns at it, shakes it a few times and then smiles, satisfied.
“Okay,” he says, “They’re right below us.”
“Oh,” Jared says faintly.
Jensen gives him a brilliant smile. “Nah, it’s okay,” he says, “I can outmaneuver them if I just improvise a little.”
“Don’t you have a crew to help you with that?” Jared asks, frowning slightly.
“Oh, that.” Jensen grins at him. “We kind of left in a hurry.”
Jared doesn’t get it.
Jensen sighs.
“I had to get out of there quick after I snagged you, okay? I didn’t have time to tell them I was leaving. They’re still in the bar where I picked you up.”
“So there’s… no crew?” Jared asks, still faintly. The small part of him that isn’t freaking out is a little bit miffed about the derogative, if true, description of how Jensen managed to ‘snag’ him in the first place.
“Nope,” Ackles announces cheerfully. He has untied the helm and is now fumbling with a small machine next to it, frowning at it when he pushes at a lever and it doesn’t move.
“You know, I could help you if you took the bracelet off,” Jared offers. Jensen looks like a guy who wants to do everything by himself, but Jared would rather not die today if he has a choice, thank you.
Sure enough, Jensen gives him a queer-eyed look.
“Forgive me for declining that offer,” he says, green eye blazing, “How stupid do you think I am? Like you wouldn’t just blast us all out of the fucking sky.”
Jared frowns.
“I’m not that bad,” he says plaintively, “If you pointed me in the right direction I could probably hit them without harming our ship.”
Jensen stares at him.
“That’s not what I - Never mind. Just hang on to the rails, okay?”
Jared obeys, then he has a thought and turns back.
“What’s your plan?” he yells over the wind.
“I’m going to try to disappear in the clouds,” Jensen calls back, “And just,” he waves a twitchy hand, “Hold on to something for Christ’s sake, would you?”
Jared puts one hand on the railing, giving the bracelet a dirty look. Jensen looks really tense and Jared doesn’t want to disturb him, but minutes pass and they aren’t really getting away.
“It’s not working,” Jensen finally yells, “They’re just too damn fast.”
He motions for Jared to get down, quickly ties the helm and presses himself against the railing next to Jared.
“Don’t freak out, okay?” he calls, “We’ll be fine unless they-“
A cannonball whizzes past them and disappears somewhere in the clouds above.
“Shit,” Jensen says.
“So we’re not fine?” Jared demands.
“Now, we’re not fine!” Jensen snarls, looking panicky for the first time, “We’re about to die, that’s how not fine we are.”
Jared frowns. Jensen makes it sound like they are completely out of options. Which they kind of are. Except…
“Just take the damn bracelet off!” Jared yells in Jensen’s ear, “I know I’m not very good, but at least let me try.”
“What makes you think I’m suicidal?” Jensen yells back.
“I’m not that bad,” Jared hisses at him. “I know you think I’m a bumbling idiot, but it’s really starting to annoy me.”
Jensen stares at him for a moment, open-mouthed. Then he spreads his hands in exasperation.
“I know that you’re not a bumbling idiot, Wizard, thank you very much.”
He jabs a finger at the brooch in the form of a hawk’s head that is holding Jared’s cloak together.
“They don’t hand those out to just anyone.”
Jared flushes as he fiddled with his cloak. It is true, the Hawk is an honor, but it can’t have that been that hard to get or Jared would never have gotten it pinned on his cloak during the ceremony. He isn’t very good. All he ever did at the Academy was keep Chad from blowing things up.
“So what’s the problem then?” he asks so quietly that Jensen has to lean in further.
The pirate rolls his eyes in exasperation.
“Like you won’t turn on me once the imminent danger is taken care of,” he snaps.
Now it is Jared’s turn to roll his eyes.
“It’s not like you’re not going to die either way, is it?” he hisses back.
Jensen stares at him for a moment longer, then he sighs deeply, reaches over and a moment later, the bracelet falls to the ground in a crumpled heap.
For a few seconds, all they do is stare at each other in anticipation. Then Jared feels his magic pulse through him, carefully uncoiling itself along his veins now that it is free, and jumps to his feet.
“Right, evil sky pirates,” he says, leaning over the railing. The ship plowing through the clouds underneath them is huge and scary, and there seem to be people scurrying all over it like busy little ants. God, this is going to be harder than he thought.
He collects his magic in his hands, just a tiny little ball, and sends it down to one of the emptier places where it scorches the planks of the deck and sends the pirates running. Jared grins at the suitably empty space and sends a large, hot ball of magic after the first that rocks the other ship and burns a sizeable hole into the wood.
Jared grins triumphantly when the ship lurches downward sharply - but not sharply enough to make Jared think that it is too damaged for the people on it to get home safely - and every man and woman on board scrambles forward to repair the damage.
“Up, Jensen!” Jared yells over his shoulder, “Up, bring us up!”
Jensen obeys and Jared has to grip the railing tightly to keep from being thrown overboard. The clouds roar and the wind rushes past him and the thunder cracks so closely to his head that he throws his hands over his ears
and then they are out in the sunshine, warm and steady and safe. Jared glances over his shoulder at Jensen and grins widely.
“Told you I could do it,” he says. Jensen loops the rope back over the helm, tying it in place, then he sinks to the floor with his back against it and sighs.
“Never said you couldn’t.”
Jared can’t think of anything to say to that. After a few moments of silence, he can feel the grin freeze on his face. Jensen is watching him just as warily.
With a frown, Jared tucks his hands into his armpits.
“You’re not going to put the bracelet back on me, are you?” he asks.
Jensen blinks at him. Then he looks around and shakes his head.
“Nah. I’m pretty sure we lost it somewhere during our daring escape.”
“Oh. Okay.” Jared smiles and flops down next to Jensen. “So, what are we doing next?”
“’We’?” Jensen asks, “As in, you and me?”
Jared nods.
“You want to stay here?” Jensen clarifies.
Jared nods again. “It was fun.”
For the first time since they met, Jensen’s lips curve into a small, warm, real smile. He nods thoughtfully.
“You know what, Wizard? This? Is going to be the start of a beautiful friendship.”
~
Follow-up here.
Um. Opinions?