Harry Potter/Criminal Minds
I noticed the community's not been used for some time, so I'm hoping to get things started back up on bad_crossovers by posting the crossover I found for today's entry.
Story Or Series Title: Secrets
Fandoms Mangled: Harry Potter of course, but also Criminal Minds.
Culprit Author's Name: Acromania
Canon Characters OOC (how many and whom): Hermione Granger, JJ, Aaron Hotchner, Jason Gideon, Derek Morgan
Psychotic Pairings (who's screwing whom): Hermione is paired for some strange reason with Derek Morgan. Specifically she's a team member, his fiance, and a doctor. Oh, and six months pregnant with his child.
Unbelievable Premise (how this crossover happened): The writer dumped Hermione into the episode where Derek confronts his childhood nightmare, so there is actually quite a bit lifted from the episode.
Technical Skill (grammar, spelling): What stood out to me was the fact many lines were lifted directly from the episode in question.
Author's Canon Knowledge (or lack thereof): For some reason Hermione is now "small, a bit pale with freckles on her nose", but JJ takes notice of her. A good chunk of dialogue is lifted from the episode as already noted, but Hermione's not yet met Reid. Also, there's quite a bit of sexism where Gideon and Hotch practically desk Hermione despite the fact JJ was still allowed to do fieldwork up to the birth of her child. Hermione's not really acting like herself. Reid's completely dropped from the plot.
Sample:
"Ok, baby. I'll call you later. My sisters and I are going to get down to the cake." His voice is soft, promising. A warm feeling spreads through her.
"Will you tell your momma now?" She asks, smiling slightly at the silence afterwards. Bitterness. That's what makes her heart shrivel a bit more.
"It's not so easy, baby. If I tell her it's only a matter of time before the team finds out. Because seriously I want to shout it to the world." He says evasively. She stopped counting how often this argument took place in their two year long relationship. Of course she believes him. But it doesn't stop the pain. Or the slither of anger.
"Hotch knows. Gideon as well. Would it be so bad if everyone else knew as well?" She hates herself a bit for the sadness creeping up on her. That she can't stop it from creeping into her voice as well. She hears him sigh and bites her lip. Stupid, she calls herself mentally.
"That's not it, baby. You know it isn't. But this between you and me? That's private. That's just us. Can you blame me for keeping it that way a bit longer. I'm working with profilers…"
He speaks softly again. Love surges through her veins because there is no annoyance or accusation in his voice.
"I know, honey. I'm sorry.. it's just.. you know." Even though he can't see her, her hand waves around as if she tries to catch an explanation that would put into words her feelings about all of this.
"I know, baby. I'm sorry how this makes you feel. You know I love you, though? That this isn't me being ashamed or anything?" He asks slightly afraid. In conversations not as heavy as this one she always smiled, feeling empowered to have a man like him wrapped around her finger like that. But not this time. Because she feels guilty that she wants something from him that goes against his believes.
"I know, honey. I love you, too. More than you know." She says, pushing away her feelings.
"So you'll call later, right? Do you know when exactly?"
"Around 9 pm. Not later. You need your sleep." Hearing his tone of voice she knows that their argument is over. She can picture his smile, his dark, beautiful eyes shining with the feelings he holds for her.
"Ok. Miss you, honey. Talk to you later." She says softly, not really ready to hang up.
"Miss you too, baby. Love you."
Story Or Series Title: Secrets
Fandoms Mangled: Harry Potter of course, but also Criminal Minds.
Culprit Author's Name: Acromania
Canon Characters OOC (how many and whom): Hermione Granger, JJ, Aaron Hotchner, Jason Gideon, Derek Morgan
Psychotic Pairings (who's screwing whom): Hermione is paired for some strange reason with Derek Morgan. Specifically she's a team member, his fiance, and a doctor. Oh, and six months pregnant with his child.
Unbelievable Premise (how this crossover happened): The writer dumped Hermione into the episode where Derek confronts his childhood nightmare, so there is actually quite a bit lifted from the episode.
Technical Skill (grammar, spelling): What stood out to me was the fact many lines were lifted directly from the episode in question.
Author's Canon Knowledge (or lack thereof): For some reason Hermione is now "small, a bit pale with freckles on her nose", but JJ takes notice of her. A good chunk of dialogue is lifted from the episode as already noted, but Hermione's not yet met Reid. Also, there's quite a bit of sexism where Gideon and Hotch practically desk Hermione despite the fact JJ was still allowed to do fieldwork up to the birth of her child. Hermione's not really acting like herself. Reid's completely dropped from the plot.
Sample:
"Ok, baby. I'll call you later. My sisters and I are going to get down to the cake." His voice is soft, promising. A warm feeling spreads through her.
"Will you tell your momma now?" She asks, smiling slightly at the silence afterwards. Bitterness. That's what makes her heart shrivel a bit more.
"It's not so easy, baby. If I tell her it's only a matter of time before the team finds out. Because seriously I want to shout it to the world." He says evasively. She stopped counting how often this argument took place in their two year long relationship. Of course she believes him. But it doesn't stop the pain. Or the slither of anger.
"Hotch knows. Gideon as well. Would it be so bad if everyone else knew as well?" She hates herself a bit for the sadness creeping up on her. That she can't stop it from creeping into her voice as well. She hears him sigh and bites her lip. Stupid, she calls herself mentally.
"That's not it, baby. You know it isn't. But this between you and me? That's private. That's just us. Can you blame me for keeping it that way a bit longer. I'm working with profilers…"
He speaks softly again. Love surges through her veins because there is no annoyance or accusation in his voice.
"I know, honey. I'm sorry.. it's just.. you know." Even though he can't see her, her hand waves around as if she tries to catch an explanation that would put into words her feelings about all of this.
"I know, baby. I'm sorry how this makes you feel. You know I love you, though? That this isn't me being ashamed or anything?" He asks slightly afraid. In conversations not as heavy as this one she always smiled, feeling empowered to have a man like him wrapped around her finger like that. But not this time. Because she feels guilty that she wants something from him that goes against his believes.
"I know, honey. I love you, too. More than you know." She says, pushing away her feelings.
"So you'll call later, right? Do you know when exactly?"
"Around 9 pm. Not later. You need your sleep." Hearing his tone of voice she knows that their argument is over. She can picture his smile, his dark, beautiful eyes shining with the feelings he holds for her.
"Ok. Miss you, honey. Talk to you later." She says softly, not really ready to hang up.
"Miss you too, baby. Love you."