Fic: Yesterday is But a Dream Chapter 1
Since he was old enough to understand what he was, Jared had longed for the day he could find the alpha meant especially for him, the one who would love and care for him like an alpha should love their omega. Jared had always wanted a family and when he learned that he was an omega he was thrilled beyond belief, he was among those who are blessed with ability to have children.
As he grew up and matured, his family tried to be supportive, really they did, but Jared knew that they couldn't understand or accept the fact that he was gay, and it had nothing to do with the fact that he was an omega. In all of his life Jared could never once recall being attracted to a member of the opposite sex, although there was no lack of girls who tried to attract his attention, he a nice, good-looking boy. It was unanimously agreed upon in the girl’s restroom that Jared was a dreamy boy who could ask them to the cinema any time he wanted.
One day when Jared was fifteen, he brought his first boyfriend home to meet his family and he quickly felt a change in the air. After a rather tense dinner during which very little food was actually eaten but the stares and whispered comments flowed freely, Jared was told in no uncertain terms that if he wanted to live that disgusting and unnatural life of unholy sin then he needed to leave and not return; you are no longer welcome in our home.
Luckily Jared still had one family member who couldn’t care less about who he chose to love. Jared had always been close to his Uncle Jeff and when his family kicked him out it was this uncle who let him move with him to finish high school and then stay with him until he started college and moved into student housing.
Ever since he was a small boy playing with his dogs or any other animal he found, Jared had always known two things: he wanted a mate and a family of his very own and he wanted to be a vet, nothing else; it was his dream job and that would never change.
College was a fresh start for Jared, full of wonderful opportunities and eye-opening experiences. It also brought into his life a man that would change everything.
Jared clearly remembers the day that he met Alex Smith; the man was everything that Jared had ever wanted in an alpha. He was tall, handsome and oh-so-very charming and he swept Jared off his feet from the very moment they met. It didn’t take long for Jared to fall head-over-heels in love with him.
Their romance was truly one of a fairytale come to life, with quiet walks in the park, moonlit picnics on the beach and hours of sweet talk and love-making. The only problem was that no matter how much Jared wanted it to happen, Alex simply refused to claim Jared as his one and only. He would never even knot him, no matter how much Jared pleaded with and begged his lover; Alex would never bite or knot him, never claiming him as his mate.
Then came the day when Jared found out that he was pregnant and he was over the moon with joy, it was the one more step in making all his dreams come true. Unfortunately Alex saw things differently; he became cold and withdrawn and more than once when they were out for dinner, taking a walk or even just doing the shopping, Jared saw Alex’s eye wander. In the beginning, Jared just dismissed it as a man’s natural attraction to a thing of beauty, the same way he would look at a painting or a sculpture. But then the looking turned into flirting and whispered conversations and on more than one occasion, Jared found unknown phone numbers written on scraps of paper in Alex’s pockets.
The first time Jared confronted Alex about his flirtatious behaviour was the first time that Alex hit him.
Jared could still remember the burning sting of his cheek and the taste of blood from where his teeth cut the inside of his mouth. Worst of all however, was the utter devastation that his lover, the father of his unborn child had physically struck him.
Upon hearing the sharp crack of his hand against Jared's cheek, Alex had looked so horrified, been so tearfully apologetic and had he begged for forgiveness so sincerely that Jared had forgiven him on the spot. Alex had been so convincing when he vowed that he would never do anything like that ever again and Jared had been so deeply in love that the father-to-be believed him.
After that day Alex’s attitude changed dramatically and he seemed to be honestly excited about the nearing birth of their first child, becoming the doting and loving alpha that Jared always wanted and remembered from the first days of their relationship. For a while things seemed to have returned to the way they were, but no matter how hard he tried to put the incident behind him, in the back of Jared’s mind he never truly forgot that one act of violence; it proved that there was a different side to his lover, one that Alex successfully hid and one that continued to scare Jared when he let his mind drift back to that moment.
But Jared was in love, he was expecting his first child and he was willing to fight to make things work between them and so he stayed. Everything was fine; Alex doted on him for the remainder of his pregnancy, going out of his way to satisfy Jared’s food cravings, massaging his feet and back when they ached, and helping him prepare a nursery for their baby. Jared hoped that all this attention meant that his lover really had changed his tune and was willing to finally and openly claim Jared as his mate. It never happened.
On Christmas Eve, after a relatively easy birth, Jared welcomed Emily Lily into the world and for the second time in his life Jared fell in love. From the moment the nurse laid the precious bundle in his arms, Jared felt like a complete omega, one who had been blessed with a loving alpha and a beautiful child. As for the little girl’s other father, well… while Jared loved his little girl with his heart and soul, Alex did not feel the same. Once the pregnancy was over, he became distant and preoccupied, spending more and more time away from home and family.
Jared easily made the decision to put his studies on hold so that he could stay at home and raise Emily; the same could not be said for Alex however. He took increased workloads, he left early in the morning and was gone until late at night and on most weekends. Jared found he didn't mind the time alone because when Alex was home he found fault in everything that Jared did; the house was never clean enough, his dinner never warm enough and Emily was never quite enough. Jared worked tirelessly, trying his best to meet even Alex's most unreasonable expectations but it was simply never enough and Alex made no secret of the fact that he was never happy.
Then one day while sorting the laundry, Jared noticed a new scent clinging to Alex’s clothes, always on something he’d worn when he’d worked late. Even though nothing had changed around the house, his partner was suddenly acting happier than he’d been since before Emily was born. Despite the unknown cologne which Jared washed away with a triple rinse cycle, he foolishly continued to believe that Alex was finally starting to settle into his new role as a father and family man.
Genevieve Cortese had been Jared's best friend since they were in diapers and she had happily followed him from their small Texas hometown to the big city, getting an apartment in the next building. She was the first to notice the change in Jared and she loved him like a brother so when she discovered that Alex was cheating on Jared her first instinct had been to keep it a secret. It hadn't been an easy choice but then she saw how deeply her friend had fallen for the bastard and so she told Jared the truth. It had broken her heart to see how Jared devastated had been when he realised his whole world was falling apart.
Jared spent the day examining his emotions, exploring his options and making his plans for the future; having made a decision, that night he sent Emily to stay at Genevieve's while he confronted Alex. It had been brutal fight in which Jared held nothing back, demanding to know why no matter what he did, he was never enough. At first Alex had staunchly refused to admit anything, telling Jared that he was just being paranoid but when Jared confronted him with evidence of his dalliances, Alex had sneered at him, asking was it any wonder that he preferred to find companionship with real men instead of a house-bound wimp?
"How could you do this to us?” Jared couldn't understand how everything had all fallen apart. “I thought you were happy?"
A harsh laugh tore itself from Alex's throat, a sound that Jared had never heard before and it chilled him to the bone. "You're joking, right? You’ve never been anything but a convenient hole for me to use which was okay but then you had to go and get yourself knocked up! My family was so pleased that the family name was going to continue but then you had to go and have a girl; a lot of good she’ll ever be to me! When my bosses found out I was a family man they made me a partner at the firm and I quickly learned that when I wanted to impress clients… well, let’s just say you and the little brat had your uses."
Hearing Alex’s vitriolic and boastful outburst, Jared felt his heart shatter into a million pieces and fall around his feet; it took a minute before was able to speak and then he found himself asking in a choked-up voice, "But I thought..." Jared trailed off not willing to admit his dreams to Alex, too afraid that he’d be ridiculed.
A cruel smirk twisted Alex's lips into an ugly parody of a smile. "You thought what? You thought that I’d eventually claim you as my mate? Oh please! I can do so much better than you! You’re worthless! You’re nothing to me but a plaything and a punching bag and you’re not even very good at that! You've happily accepted every pitiful little scrap I’ve tossed your way because you're just that pathetic and you know, I almost -almost - feel sorry for you."
Alex’s words did exactly what they were meant to do, they struck deep within Jared's heart, killing anything he might still have felt for Alex and they left a deep impact in his soul, a wound that he didn’t think would ever heal. He had been such a fool. It was at that precise moment that Jared made the decision that he wouldn't stay with a cheater; he was taking Emily and leaving, and he didn't care if Alex liked it or not.
Summoning what little dignity he could muster, Jared took one last look around his home and then met Alex’s gaze head-on. "Well then I guess there’s only one thing left for me to do. Since I’m such a waste of your time, I won't stay here and disappoint you any longer. I'm taking Emily with me and you'll never see us again."
The blow that knocked Jared to the floor with a jarring thud took him completely by surprise and as he lay there with his head spinning he heard Alex say, "You're not going anywhere, Jared. You may be pathetic but you do have your uses and if you ever think of leaving me again I'll make sure that you are never allowed to see Emily again. I’m a very well-off alpha, an up-and-coming lawyer with one of the city’s top firms, and I have extremely powerful friends. You're nothing but a weak-willed omega who was forced to give up his studies and stay home because he was too stupid to have safe sex.
“You don't have any skills so how do you plan to get a job? Without a job you can’t get a place to live or feed yourself much less a growing child, so who exactly do you think the courts - and remember, these are my friends - would award custody to?" Alex threatened and the cold light of victory appeared in his eyes as he saw the defeat in Jared's eyes. In that instant he knew he’d been right to use Jared’s squalling brat as a weapon because it meant that he had won; Jared would do anything to keep Emily safe. "Now I think it’s time you need to learn r your true place in my world."
A tiny whimper of fear escaped Jared's lips as he saw the cruel look on Alex's face and as Alex's fists and feet continued to rain mercilessly down on him Jared bit his lower lip until it bled. Until the moment he lost consciousness, he refused to give his tormentor the satisfaction of hearing him scream but it didn't stop there. When Jared regained his senses he discovered that he was tied face down to their bed and that night for the first time Jared thought that Alex might actually kill him.
As Jared laid there, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes, he realised that Alex hadn't needed to use his fists to hurt him; all he had to do was remind him that while Alex would never be his, Jared was his property to do with as he pleased until he chose to throw him aside for someone better. While Jared was trying to come to terms with that heart-breaking fact, Alex decided to prove his point in an even more brutal way. Try as he might Jared wasn’t able to hold back his screams of pain as Alex took him without any preparation or warning, laughing with sadistic delight as Jared writhed in agony beneath him.
Once the rape was over and Alex was sated, Jared was a bloody mess; as he cleaned himself up, Alex warned again that if Jared thought of leaving then he would never allow him to see Emily again. Despite what had just happened to him, Jared couldn't let that happen and besides, Alex had been right; he had no place to go and no money saved up.
Jared was trapped in a living hell.
Any hopes of someday being mated to Alex died a fiery death that night and all Jared could hope for was that he would find somehow and someway to free him and his beloved Emily from their nightmare existence.
Over the months that followed, Jared stayed through it all, the cheating and the beatings, the insults and the ridicule; all the while lying to Genevieve about how happy he was with Alex. At night, while Alex slept so peacefully beside him, Jared was coming up with his own plan of survival; from the meagre allowance Alex gave him each week for groceries he hid away what money he could, slowly building it up his precious nest egg for the day when he and Emily could make their escape.
It wasn't until Alex turned his attention to Emily, threatening to make her the object of his violence, did Jared push his plans ahead. Alex had been growing more and more angry as time went on, finding fault with everything he and Emily did; nothing Jared did or said could make the man happy. At first Alex’s abuse of Emily was limited to shouting insults at her even when she was sitting and playing quietly with her toys. Fortunately she wasn’t old enough to understand what he was saying or why, she just knew that he was the mean man who made her cry and she would cringe in a corner whenever he came into the room. It broke Jared’s heart to see his beloved daughter turning into a terrified shell of herself.
Genevieve made it a point to check up on Jared and Emily at least once a day, usually first thing on the morning as soon as she knew Alex had left the house. Alex had always made it a point never to leave marks on Jared’s body that could be seen by the casual observer - although if you were to lift his shirt and look at his torso and back, or drop his trousers and look at his buttocks and thighs, the extent of the torture Jared endured was glaringly obvious. Genevieve discovered what was happening quite by accident early on in Jared’s new ‘life’ when she dropped by unannounced for coffee one morning and found him on the kitchen floor sobbing his heart out because he was unable to lift Emily from her crib. Alex had cracked several of his ribs the night before and simply breathing was almost too painful to endure, let alone add the strain of picking up his daughter and caring for her.
After helping Jared onto the couch - he had absolutely refused to lie on the same bed that Alex slept in - Genevieve spent the day caring for both Emily and Jared. She bathed, dressed and fed the baby, she did the dishes, vacuumed the floors and while Jared slept fitfully on the sofa, she even did the laundry, although when she went into the bedroom to change the linens the sight of Jared’s blood on the bedsheets made her so sick to her stomach that she was forced to vomit into the wastepaper basket, unable to get to the bathroom in time.
When Jared awoke from his nap, Genevieve sat him down with a strong cup of tea, spoke four little words: “Are you all right?” and then she just sat there and listened, absorbing every horrific, sickening detail of his hellish life under Alex’s brutish thumb. After more than two hours of mutual tears, Jared had confided everything to his best friend, including his fears for Emily’s continued safety and the basics of his escape plan. With time running short - Alex could come home at any moment, Genevieve gave Jared a strong but careful hug and went home, leaving behind her the first ray of hope that Jared had seen in nearly a year. Not even Alex’s brutal ‘love-making’ that night could dim the tiny flame of happiness that Jared concealed deep within his soul.
Unable to sleep that night, Genevieve had spent hours pacing the floor of her small apartment, the details of Jared’s story playing over and over again in her mind. When dawn broke she knew what she had to do and the moment she thought the hour was decent enough to make a phone call, Genevieve called Jared’s other best friend, Chad, and his mate Sophia. By nine that morning the three of them were the only other people on Earth who knew of Jared’s nightmarish existence and about his desperate plans.
When Genevieve came back from that first of many, many welfare checks on Jared the trio put their heads together and discussed what they had to do to ensure that their friend not only survived but that he got safely away from the maniac holding his hostage. Chad confessed that he had seen a change in Jared and he’d even stated point-blankly to Jared that he wasn't his normal, happy self and he wanted to know why. Jared had brushed off his worries with a nervous laugh and a charming anecdote about Emily. Chad wasn’t an idiot and he instinctively knew that the bastard who so carefully controlled every aspect of Jared's life was responsible for the change. By the time the three friends parted ways that evening, they had a firm yet flexible plan in place should Jared ever need their help at a moment’s notice.
Emily was in the middle of a bad night - she was cutting her first teeth - and nothing that Jared tried could get her to calm down. Jared had learned the hard way that there were two sides to Alex's personality: the loving, loyal and charming man the world got to see and the cold, cruel man who enjoyed making Jared's life miserable. Every gentle word Alex had ever spoken to Jared in the beginning of their relationship had been replaced with malicious barbs, every tender and loving touch replaced with bruises and pain. There were so many times when Jared had wished he’d never laid eyes on Alex but each time that thought crossed his mind Jared would instantly regret it.
Even though Alex had caused him nothing but pain and suffering, without Alex he would never have had Emily and nothing he endured would ever make Jared regret giving birth to his daughter.
But that night was the turning point. Already in a bad mood when he walked through the door Alex lost his temper with Emily who was crying her tiny heart out. Jared knew the moment he saw the look in the other man’s eyes, the look that always meant pain for Jared. When he thought about it later, Jared will never understand how he got from the kitchen to the living room and in front of Emily an instant before Alex's fist came down on him.
The sheer force of the blow had Jared's teeth rattling in his skull and stars dancing in front of his eyes and he knew that Alex hadn't held back any of his strength and that scared the shit out of Jared. The devastating extent of the damage Alex could have done to a year-old baby’s head could have been deadly. That was the moment when Jared knew the time had come; he had to get out, not for himself but for his daughter. They had to get far, far away before Alex finally killed one of them.
""Keep that brat quiet!" Alex snarled as he glared down at Jared as he lay slumped on the floor, leaning against Emily’s crib. “I won’t tell you again!” Alex aimed a vicious kick at the other man’s body and then smiled with grim satisfaction as Jared cried out in pain.
Gasping for air, Jared forced himself to swallow back the bile that rose up in his throat as his head spun dangerously from the blow; he knew from experience that he probably had a mild concussion. "I'm sorry, Alex; she's having a rough night. Why don't you go out for a bit and I'll do my best to calm her down," Jared suggested, trying not to sound too eager. He needed to get Alex out of the house before he and Emily could safely make their escape.
Alex cocked his head thoughtfully, "Actually that's not a bad idea. There's this cute little omega from the office that's just been begging for me to knot her and I think it’s time I take her up on her offer.” He collected his keys, wallet and cell phone from the table in the entry way. “You have the weekend to make sure that brat is quiet because when I get back on Monday…" He left his unspoken threat hanging in the air as he opened the front door.
Jared didn't dare do or say anything but nod his head obediently as he watched Alex stalk out of the house, slamming the door behind him. He stayed where he was, listening intently to the sound of Alex's BMW pulling out of the driveway and even then he didn't dare move for another ten minutes; only when he was absolutely sure that Alex wasn't coming back did he get up and start moving.
He already had several bags packed, hidden away where Alex would never find them, but now that he knew they were leaving and never coming back, Jared pulled out one more bag and quickly filled it with myriad items that Alex would surely have missed if he’d packed them earlier. He took the largest of his daughter’s diaper bags and made sure that he had enough supplies for Emily till they got where they were going, including her favourite plush toys.
There was only one place that Jared knew they could go to that Alex wouldn't dare to come looking for him and that was his Uncle Jeff's place; his uncle had never taken a liking to Alex and as for Alex Jeff was probably the only person that he honestly feared and that was enough for Jared.
"Hey baby girl, were going to see your Uncle Jeff. I know that he's going to love you," Jared spoke softly to Emily as he bounced her up and down in his arms gently, hoping that he could calm her down enough to give him time to finish getting everything ready. Using that special intuition that only children seem to have, Emily could sense that there was a change coming because as soon as Alex was gone and she was back in her dad's arms her tears were over. "That's my good girl!" Jared cooed sweetly as he wrapped her in the handmade, antique crib quilt that Genevieve had given her and sure enough, once she was swaddled in such a familiar scent and feel, Emily quickly drifted off into a deep, exhausted sleep. Jared didn't move until he was sure that she was out like a light and then he carefully placed her in her carrier before rushing to get his own bags.
What was actually only a few minutes felt like an eternity to Jared as he scrambled to dig out the bags he had hidden. Fortunately Alex had given him cash for the weekly food budget just the day before so he sat at the kitchen table, triple-counting that plus the money he had managed to stash away, in hoping against hope that it would be enough to get him to his Uncle Jeff's place. Tears stung his eyes and he let out a huge sigh of relief when he realised that he had enough to pay for gas, cheap hotel rooms and food.
"Come on, Emily, we’re going to go see your Uncle Jeff," Jared whispered as he gently lifted his daughter's carrier and headed out of his car; it was an older model but it had never let him down in the past. The best thing was that it was his car free and clear, bought before he’d met Alex and since he hadn’t paid for it, Alex barely cared about it, especially considering it wasn't the most expensive thing on the market. All Jared knew was Once upon a time it had led to him meeting Alex and now it would lead him far, far away from Alex.
With practiced ease Jared got Emily’s carrier secured in the car’s back seat and the bags stuffed in the trunk. As he shut the trunk’s lid the reality of what he was going to do hit him and he had to steady himself against the vehicle as he took several shuddering breaths. Finally satisfied that he was calm enough to drive, he climbed in the car, willing his hands to stop shaking and making a mental note to call Genevieve and Chad when he was safely far away. The last thing he did was throw his cell phone out the window as he merged into traffic, replacing it with the burner phone he’d bought as part of his escape plan.
Sometime later, when he reached the city limits, Jared looked in the rear-view mirror, saying one last good-bye to his home and then he smiled brightly. As much as he despised Alex for everything horrible he had done to him at least he had one good thing in his life to show for his time in hell and she was sleeping soundly in the backseat. "This is a new start for us, Emily, just you and me. I hope someday you'll understand why we had to leave but this is no way for you to grow up. I want the best for you and I'll do my best to give it to you." With a fierceness he’d never felt before, Jared made his heart-felt promise to his sleeping daughter. With a final glance at his past, Jared put his foot down on the accelerator; he had a promise to keep and the first step was getting as far away from his former prison as he could.
It hadn't been an easy trip; besides trying to entertain a bored baby who really didn’t like being confined to her seat all day, Jared was exhausted. He had never slept in such cheap hotels with impossibly hard beds before, his back ached something fierce and he’d eaten enough greasy diner food to last him the rest of his life. To make matters worse, he had been leered at and propositioned by so many creeps at gas stations and rest stops and on one occasion he barely escaped being raped by a meth-fueled trucker, suddenly none of that mattered as Jared saw the lights of his destination at last drawing closer. A quick glance at his watch and he winced at the time, praying that his uncle wasn't working the late shift and would be home to let them in. ‘I probably should have called him the last time I stopped for gas.’
"We’re almost there, Emily," Jared whispered, hope filling him that they might finally be safe and as he looked in the mirror at her, he was sure she smiled in her sleep.
Growling under his breath about being disturbed and wiping the sleep from his eyes as he stomped down the stairs, Jeffery Dean Morgan didn't know what to expect when he opened the door to his house at three in the morning, but his rant died on his lips when he found his nephew standing on his doorstep with a bruised cheek, black eye and split lip. In direct contrast, Emily looked like a perfect little angel as she slept safely in his arms.
Jared looked lost and broken although there was a tiny hint of hope in his eyes. "Uncle Jeff, I need your help," he pleaded softly as tears unexpectedly started falling down his cheeks. “Please...”
Jeff didn't hesitate to pull Jared into his arms and hug him tightly although somehow both men were careful not to squash or wake the baby. The older man’s voice was thick with emotion as he replied without hesitation, "You've got it, my boy." Every protective instinct within Jeff was screaming at him, demanding that he hunt down the son of bitch who did this to his nephew and destroy him. Although he hadn’t had much contact with Jared over the last six months - Alex had cut Jared off from family and friends, forbidding him from making calls, writing letters or emails and from going out socially - Jeff had a pretty good idea as to who and where to start. ‘Smith, you're a dead man when I get my hands on you!’ he vowed.`
Finally safe within in his uncle's arms it took all of Jared's willpower not to simply collapse right there on the doorstep. "I'm so sorry… I know… the time…” Jared knew he was babbling so he sucked in a deep breath and admitted, “I didn't know where else to go," and as he heard those words, fresh tears fell from his eyes to dampen his uncle’s shoulder.
Pulling back just far enough to look Jared in the eye - ‘you really need to get some ice on that,’ he thought distractedly - Jeff decided then and there that the person who’d done this to his nephew was a dead man. "Hey, hey now, no tears. I'm always here for you. Now come on in, you look exhausted and I bet you could use a good night’s rest in a real bed." Wrapping his arm around Jared's shoulders Jeff escorted him inside, firmly shutting the door on the world outside.
Hearing the door close behind him, Jared relaxed completely into his uncle's hold and for the first time in days, he allowed himself to truly believe that he was free and that he and Emily were safe.
Chapter 2