(Untitled)

[babyslime]

I don't normally write about this at all, let alone on public, due to my own rules about family drama making it onto my blog, but sometimes it's just too much.

Comments

[angelamermaid]

My situations have been different kinds of crazy, so I don't have specific words of wisdom to pass along.

I did once move out on Welfare and sold Avon for food money - I pray that Marika has that kind of strength, to start all over and fight for herself and her right to be happy and loved. To find out for herself that she'll be just fine without toxic people.

Anon Posting...

[anonymous]

I've nursed my best friend through two divorces, the most recent this past summer. She was incredibly co-dependent and stifled in a manipulative marriage. The one thing I said to her that kind of caught her attention was this: Would you want to see anyone you loved in a relationship/situation like you're in? And if you did see someone in that situation, would you want them to stay there?

I don't know if your sister has the emotional maturity to understand (my BF is 38...though sometimes I question her maturity...lol) but sometimes if you can get them to step outside of the quagmire of drama and look INSIDE for once...it clicks. Best wishes.

[ruethee]

Oh, poor girl. Yes, I have so been there. In a relationship where you realize a year and a half in that you've become someone else based on all of the criticisms. You don't use certain words, listen to certain music, wear certain clothes, eat certain foods, all in fear of triggering your "partner." I'm not going to get into the story of my sociopath ex but I had to flee and actively avoid his contact. I knew that I'd be sucked right back in. My advice to your sister is to delete texts and emails before she reads them and don't answer his calls (or better yet, change her number and DON'T give him the new one.) In this case, absence helps the heart heal and the head clear. Love to sweet Marika.

[keilababe]

I think the thing that finally "clicked" for me in a similar situation, was realizing that the abusive partner was like a drug for me. I knew it was bad, but I kept feeding off the abuse and negativity because that is what I had grown up with. So, like any addict, I had to reach rock bottom. Then I left and slowly pulled myself out of the emotional mire. It would be awesome if she could get out of this pattern now, instead of waiting 38 years like I did.

The first thing that I thought about when I read this was that I hope you are taking care of YOU right now. You have sooo much on your plate right now with the kids, your pain, etc. I know you want to help her, but don't stop taking care of you in the process. :-)

[dreamsreflected]

having been through a similar cycle of replacing one abuser with another, the only real helpful thing I can say is, there's nothing you can do

[opheliareborn]

You are much more eloquent than I am, but I agree wholeheartedly. I think it sucks that you end up living with the feeling/knowledge that you very well could jump right back in, that it's almost a missed idea. That kind of fire burns pretty intense and everything else feels a bit lacking.