variations on a theme of listening
jaejoong/yunho & yoochun/junsu
crack & fluff
pg13
923 words
i.
“First it was the girly Tri-angle hair. Then the lion suit-…”
“But you liked the lion suit.”
“…no I didn’t. I liked the rabbit one but-…”
“But your point being that the lion suit was somehow more feminine than the baby pink bunny one?”
“Noona let me finish!”
“Go on.” The coordi noona barely flinches when Jaejoong makes as if to strangle her, just gives a pale faced Junsu cowering in front of her the once over. She pats him on the shoulder approvingly before sending him off.
“Then…then there was that silver thing! For the T tour!”
A sudden shift in Jaejoong’s features as he recalls how the outfit looks like, dragging it up kicking and screaming from the deep oh-dear-god-what-did-I-do box in his head.
“They could see my nipples,” he whispers as the silver latex outfit reappears in his mind. There’s a horrified, slightly disbelieving undertone to his voice. “My nipples, noona, my nipples!”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“Noona, please no.”
“It’s just a pair of jeans. You’re a 23 year old man. What’s there to be afraid of? They’re not going to eat you if you wear them, just so you know.”
There’s the distinct sound of Junsu whimpering in the background as he tries to walk across the room and Jaejoong holds up the pair of jeans in questions. They’re pale pink.
“Just a pair of jeans? Just a pair of pink, size 24 jeans I’m supposed to fit my size 26 ass into? Noona these aren’t just jeans, they’re the spawn of satan.”
“Devil’s children,” agrees Junsu faintly.
“Junsu sit your ass down or you won’t have any next time.”
“Noona listen to yourself!”
The coordi noona sits Junsu down in a chair where he squirms uncomfortably, tugging at his pants.
“Well he did manage to get into them,” she says thoughtfully, hmm-ing over Junsu.
“And now he looks like he’s throwing a party in his pants!”
“N-n-not a party. Torture, t-torture…”
“Shut up, Junsu, I’m trying to make a point here. And I can see things I can live without seeing.”
The coordi looks unconvinced.
“Noonaaaa~”
“Just wear the damn pants, Jaejong.”
“Like hell.”
“Hell,” echoes Junsu weakly.
“…if I told you Yunho was wearing a size 25?”
“But he’s a size…oh. Oh.”
There is an appreciative pause as Jaejoong considers the party in Yunho’s pants.
“Well?”
Jaejoong wears the damn pants.
ii.
“Ceteris paribus,” mumbles Changmin and Jaejoong makes an agreeing sound, sprawled on the kitchen table while the magnae studies.
“The assumption that only the factor in question changes while the rest remain constant, right?”
“Right.”
Jaejoong drums his fingers on the wood surface.
“So that’s a bit like how I’m assuming you’re an asshole this morning only because you’re born like that, right? And not because Junsu keeps beating you at Street Fighter and the fact that Yunho finished the last of the ramyun last night without telling you and oh, the other fact that I accidentally deleted your Sexy Girls Night XXX file.”
Changmin, previously almost slouching over his book now straightens and Jaejoong inwardly curses his lack of a good brain/mouth filter.
“…you what.”
“Uhm.”
“Jaejoong come here a moment, I’m going to teach you the basics of supply and demand.” Changmin gets up and Jaejoong considers playing dead on the table, a limp body harder to hurt.
“I’m going to supply the very hard, very painful one touch to side of your head while you’re going to demand, no, beg and plead that I stop.”
iii.
It’s ass o’clock in the morning when Junsu bursts into Yoochun and Jaejoong’s room, stepping over Jaejoong who’s lying quite wasted on the floor. Yoochun smothers a scream in his blanket.
“Junsu what the holy-….”
“Puppies,” breathes Junsu. “I’m a grandfather!”
“…puppies.”
“Puppies~” mutters Jaejoong and rolls over, batting Junsu’s leg away. It earns him a half hearted kick and Jaejoong flops onto his side, snoring into the carpet.
“Xiahki’s puppies! He has puppies now!”
Junsu is practically bouncing onto Yoochun’s bed in glee.
“Baby he didn’t even give birth to them. Go back to bed.”
“But they’re his!”
“Nnngh,” says Jaejoong and Junsu almost kicks him in the head on the way out of the room, still bouncing a little. Puppies! His Xiahki!
Changmin has to yell at him to shut the bad word here up before Junsu calms down and sits quietly in the hall, Xiahki on his lap.
“Puppies,” he whispers into one white ear and Xiahki licks him appreciatively. Yoochun wanders out of his room ten minutes later, still bleary eyed but somewhat content to flop onto the couch next to Junsu. Xiahki licks him as well.
“Puppies, eh?”
“Six of them.”
“We’re grandparents now.”
And Yoochun has to push Xiahki off the couch when he leans in to kiss Junsu on the cheek (“Congratulations.” “You too, Mr.Park, you too.”) before making a late night, early morning promise to go see said grandchildren when it’s a more decent hour.
The next morning, Jaejoong wakes up with a headache the size of a large thing and a bruise in his size, roughly the shape of Junsu’s foot.
“You know what? Last night, I had the oddest dream…”
“Puppies?” asks Yoochun nonchalantly.
“Well yeah, puppies. How’d you know?”
AN-Written in the margin of my economics textbook because I had 2 hours to spare after exams :D explains the ceteris paribus thing, idek about the puppies and pants ._. Question though, do the pics I keep putting up along with each fic annoy you guys? Seriously now, this is the 3rd on in a row. And one last thing :D pimping:
crack & fluff
pg13
923 words
i.
“First it was the girly Tri-angle hair. Then the lion suit-…”
“But you liked the lion suit.”
“…no I didn’t. I liked the rabbit one but-…”
“But your point being that the lion suit was somehow more feminine than the baby pink bunny one?”
“Noona let me finish!”
“Go on.” The coordi noona barely flinches when Jaejoong makes as if to strangle her, just gives a pale faced Junsu cowering in front of her the once over. She pats him on the shoulder approvingly before sending him off.
“Then…then there was that silver thing! For the T tour!”
A sudden shift in Jaejoong’s features as he recalls how the outfit looks like, dragging it up kicking and screaming from the deep oh-dear-god-what-did-I-do box in his head.
“They could see my nipples,” he whispers as the silver latex outfit reappears in his mind. There’s a horrified, slightly disbelieving undertone to his voice. “My nipples, noona, my nipples!”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“Noona, please no.”
“It’s just a pair of jeans. You’re a 23 year old man. What’s there to be afraid of? They’re not going to eat you if you wear them, just so you know.”
There’s the distinct sound of Junsu whimpering in the background as he tries to walk across the room and Jaejoong holds up the pair of jeans in questions. They’re pale pink.
“Just a pair of jeans? Just a pair of pink, size 24 jeans I’m supposed to fit my size 26 ass into? Noona these aren’t just jeans, they’re the spawn of satan.”
“Devil’s children,” agrees Junsu faintly.
“Junsu sit your ass down or you won’t have any next time.”
“Noona listen to yourself!”
The coordi noona sits Junsu down in a chair where he squirms uncomfortably, tugging at his pants.
“Well he did manage to get into them,” she says thoughtfully, hmm-ing over Junsu.
“And now he looks like he’s throwing a party in his pants!”
“N-n-not a party. Torture, t-torture…”
“Shut up, Junsu, I’m trying to make a point here. And I can see things I can live without seeing.”
The coordi looks unconvinced.
“Noonaaaa~”
“Just wear the damn pants, Jaejong.”
“Like hell.”
“Hell,” echoes Junsu weakly.
“…if I told you Yunho was wearing a size 25?”
“But he’s a size…oh. Oh.”
There is an appreciative pause as Jaejoong considers the party in Yunho’s pants.
“Well?”
Jaejoong wears the damn pants.
ii.
“Ceteris paribus,” mumbles Changmin and Jaejoong makes an agreeing sound, sprawled on the kitchen table while the magnae studies.
“The assumption that only the factor in question changes while the rest remain constant, right?”
“Right.”
Jaejoong drums his fingers on the wood surface.
“So that’s a bit like how I’m assuming you’re an asshole this morning only because you’re born like that, right? And not because Junsu keeps beating you at Street Fighter and the fact that Yunho finished the last of the ramyun last night without telling you and oh, the other fact that I accidentally deleted your Sexy Girls Night XXX file.”
Changmin, previously almost slouching over his book now straightens and Jaejoong inwardly curses his lack of a good brain/mouth filter.
“…you what.”
“Uhm.”
“Jaejoong come here a moment, I’m going to teach you the basics of supply and demand.” Changmin gets up and Jaejoong considers playing dead on the table, a limp body harder to hurt.
“I’m going to supply the very hard, very painful one touch to side of your head while you’re going to demand, no, beg and plead that I stop.”
iii.
It’s ass o’clock in the morning when Junsu bursts into Yoochun and Jaejoong’s room, stepping over Jaejoong who’s lying quite wasted on the floor. Yoochun smothers a scream in his blanket.
“Junsu what the holy-….”
“Puppies,” breathes Junsu. “I’m a grandfather!”
“…puppies.”
“Puppies~” mutters Jaejoong and rolls over, batting Junsu’s leg away. It earns him a half hearted kick and Jaejoong flops onto his side, snoring into the carpet.
“Xiahki’s puppies! He has puppies now!”
Junsu is practically bouncing onto Yoochun’s bed in glee.
“Baby he didn’t even give birth to them. Go back to bed.”
“But they’re his!”
“Nnngh,” says Jaejoong and Junsu almost kicks him in the head on the way out of the room, still bouncing a little. Puppies! His Xiahki!
Changmin has to yell at him to shut the bad word here up before Junsu calms down and sits quietly in the hall, Xiahki on his lap.
“Puppies,” he whispers into one white ear and Xiahki licks him appreciatively. Yoochun wanders out of his room ten minutes later, still bleary eyed but somewhat content to flop onto the couch next to Junsu. Xiahki licks him as well.
“Puppies, eh?”
“Six of them.”
“We’re grandparents now.”
And Yoochun has to push Xiahki off the couch when he leans in to kiss Junsu on the cheek (“Congratulations.” “You too, Mr.Park, you too.”) before making a late night, early morning promise to go see said grandchildren when it’s a more decent hour.
The next morning, Jaejoong wakes up with a headache the size of a large thing and a bruise in his size, roughly the shape of Junsu’s foot.
“You know what? Last night, I had the oddest dream…”
“Puppies?” asks Yoochun nonchalantly.
“Well yeah, puppies. How’d you know?”
AN-Written in the margin of my economics textbook because I had 2 hours to spare after exams :D explains the ceteris paribus thing, idek about the puppies and pants ._. Question though, do the pics I keep putting up along with each fic annoy you guys? Seriously now, this is the 3rd on in a row. And one last thing :D pimping: