hello, hello... belle sees fade in Osaka!
where to begin?
well, i met up with Bernie, Louise and Hannah outside Club DROP Shinsaibashi at around 1:30pm. we went to have lunch, all the while talking about fade. it was very nice meeting Louise and Hannah and i had lots of fun. (just as my food was served, my mom came into the restaurant and told me she saw a poodle outside and i just had to go and pet it because omg, i hadn't pet a dog in almost a week by then and it was killing me)
after that, we went to take purikura~! it was the first time i was taking purikura with so many people. it was kinda chaotic but reeeeally fun.
Bernie spotted her friend, Yoko, at a cafe opposite DROP and we joined her. there, we got out our eyeliners and planned what to write on our boobies hahaha. i decided to go a step further and i dropped my shorts. people stared.
photo taken by the lovely Hannah who then fucking tWEETED IT TO JON.
i figured he wasn't gonna see it anyway so i didn't ask her to delete it.
from the cafe, we could see the entrance to DROP perfectly. we saw Nori enter and then we spent a good five minutes talking about his hair. afterwards, Yoko said she saw Jon but i was too busy drawing on the underwear i'd gotten for him that i missed him. :(
i don't remember who now (i'm so sorry!) but someone suggested that i write "KISS MY ASS. Love, Belle" on the back of it. the markers sucked, though, so it couldn't be read very easily. we also considered writing "BLOW ME" on the front but the marker ran outta ink, so…….
edit: Louise got a photo of my handy work!
half an hour before the doors were opened, we went down the stairs to the entrance of DROP. on the way down, we passed Rui who was standing by the stairs, talking on the phone. i seriously just froze up for a second before scurrying past him like a mouse. it was only then i was really hit with the realisation that i was going to fUCKING SEE FADE AGAIN.
a few minutes later, the whole fucking band walked out. i quickly hid behind Hannah because i just cannot look at Jon. I JUST CANNOT. HELP. (yeah, some people are probably thinking right now, "you wrote his name above your fucking vagina but you can't look at him?" well, yes. he makes me incredibly nervous, too.)
Godo wasn't with them, though, and when he walked out a while later by himself, i shouted, "I LOVE YOU" after him and he waved back.
the members of H"Palty came down the stairs later and Bernie gave them some treats from Singapore. i didn't know who they were, though, and i asked Bernie if one of them was her kareshi, hahaha.
another one of Bernie's friends, Yuuta, joined us later. we talked about all sorts of things (Bernie and i cursed each other in Chinese and Hokkien just for fun LAN JIAO). i hadn't laughed so hard in ages!
but no matter how much fun i was having, i couldn't ignore the growing nervousness. it was like a tiny seed that was growing into a tree. seriously, just thinking about facing Jon after the live freaked me out so bad that i thought i was gonna puke or something. please do not ask me why he makes me so nervous because i don't know either…
we continued talking inside the venue. it was also then that Yuuta decided to call me コカ (Koka [coke]) because he said my tattoo's font looked like the Coca-Cola font. then everyone else joined in. so i became "Coca-san".
at one point, i was freaking out again and clinging on to Bernie and screaming, "WHAT DO I SAY TO [JON]".
"Start with 'hello'," she said.
"And then?!"
"Okay, I'm Jon."
then she stretched her hand out towards me and pretended to be Jon, going, "hey, thanks for coming to the live." and i took it so seriously that i thought she was Jon and i just looked away and ran.
Bernie stayed in character and went, "hey, why're you running away?"
"SHUT UP!" i yelled back.
so, yeah, that was 'Jon' and i.
the fooling around continued until the first act started.
i think i should say now that this was my first live that WASN'T a one-band live. i had no idea how things worked; e.g. how many songs each band played, etc..
the first band played six songs, i think. after their performance, Bernie and i cracked our glow sticks and put them on our wrists and around our neck. we glowed like a Christmas tree.
the other bands were really good but i was really here for fade so, while i enjoyed their performances, i was getting really antsy. during one of the intermissions, Bernie brought me to the H"Palty merchandise table and introduced me to Isato (vocalist) as her imouto (he believed her, hahaha). Bernie said their music was really nice so i decided to give them a listen, so i bought one of their singles!
when H"Palty came on stage, Bernie and i went straight to the front row and had lots of fun there~
then when H"Palty's performance was over, i just broke down into a heap of anxiety.
'cause, yeah, the memories from the last fade live i attended haunted me (December 28th, 2012. it'd been almost nine months since i saw fade). and all i could remember from then was that i could not fucking look Jon in the eye because… well, because. i remember hiding my face with my fade hat afterwards during the After Party and not knowing what to say to him. that's all i remembered (well, besides the amazing live).
"Bernie, what do i do if he looks in my direction during the live?!"
"THEN YOU LOOK BACK."
"I CAN'T."
my stomach was twisting. i was a little dizzy. i was terrified but excited. i'm not sure if that's good or not.
before i could even fully calm down, the lights were dimmed. the curtains were pulled back. one by one, the members got on stage.
and they all looked smoking hawt. i mean, they dressed how they usually did but they just looked especially amazing that night.
and Jon was wearing that handsome blue blazer and looking just as handsome himself.
the energy was off the charts right from the start. they started big, they continued going strong and they had a very moving end.
it'd been a while since i'd attended a standing live, though, and it was as if my body didn't quite fit in. it took a few seconds for me to really get into it but once i had, i was jumping, head-banging, fist-pumping and screaming (my left calf and throat hates me very much now). fade's performances make it really easy for you to just "go with it".
their stage presence? wonderful. you just never want to look away. they command attention.
the music? top-notch. i thought everything was executed perfectly. then again, i'm no music expert. i just know i liked what i heard from them at the live.
and you know how i was so worried about making eye contact with Jon? for some reason, even when he looked my way, i wasn't that freaked out any more. i think i was too "high" (high can mean excited/very happy in Singapore) to be scared by then.
and, true to Bernie's word, i got a lot of crotch shots. like, Jon's groin was in my face almost half the time. that's probably 'cause i'm too short, though, and that's all i see when i look straight when he's in front of me.
AND THE PROXIMITY. personal space means nothing in a live, lol. Jon got really close to everyone in the front row. he even got right up in my face and shouted something over the music. Hannah, Louise, Bernie and i are still trying to figure out what he said, hahaha.
i thought he said "I love you too" because i'd tweeted him a photo of our fade bracelets the day before and mine had "Belle loves Jon" on it, so i thought he was replying to that.
but Bernie said she thought Jon said, "I'll take you" because i had "TAKE ME JON" written on my chest. but i thought my hair was covering part of the writing so he couldn't see it. so… yeah. i guess we'll never know.
either way, i was floored. i was just… gone. Bernie and i flailed over it together.
fade performed three new songs: Yure no Naka, Cross Road, My Way.
Yure no Naka is roooooockiiiiiiiing.
Cross Road and My Way both give me the same feel as Ever Free, but it's not like they're copies of each other. how do i describe this… when i first heard Ever Free, i felt my chest opening up (that sounds gross but bear with me). when i heard Cross Road, i felt like i was putting my arms into the sleeves of a jacket. and My Way just made me want to keep jumping.
i couldn't make out the lyrics so i might be completely wrong in regards to interpreting the song but that's what the music made me feel.
i was surprised they played the English version of Close to You. it was my demise, too, because i'd FORGOTTEN HALF THE LYRICS and Jon looked straight at me during this song and i was fucking stumbling over the lyrics omfg you guys i was so embarrassed.
then he placed his foot on the railing (like he usually does), leaned forward till he was right in front of me and said, "it's okay" (i think? Bernie thinks he said this too) and ruffled my hair. i couldn't look at him anymore so i just looked away and squeeed to myself while holding on to his leg.
they ended with Beautiful which was perfect. the lyrics always get to me and, man, it was good. it was a really, really good fade live, even with only seven songs.
right at the end of Beautiful, Bernie and i got out the fade Singapore flag which we'd prepared together when she was in Singapore.
that's me turning the flag into a maxi-skirt.
after the curtains were drawn, i dropped to my knees immediately and flailed with Bernie. i was so out of it that i didn't realise Jon had stuck his arm out from behind the curtains until he was pulling it back in and i just blurted out, "fucker". whoops.
it was kind of a blur afterwards. all of us (Hannah, Louise, Bernie, mom, Yuuta and his friend Takashi and i) all headed out to the bar and we used our drink coupons (i drank coca-cola because i didn't know any of the drinks on the menu and i really only like sweet beer and sweet wine). i met Miyagawa-san (a.k.a Chang-chang-san) and all of us took some photos together and with H"Palty (who are friggin' adorable srsly). i asked Isato for a hug and that started a hug fest.
we also asked the members of H"Palty to sign our H"Palty CDs~
a while later, it was ~fade time~
Bernie told me beforehand that only Jon, Nori and Kansei came out to the merch table so i thought i'd catch Rui and Godo later when we demachi'd. but Kansei didn't come out either. :(
anyway, Jon and Nori had to walk past the bar to get to the merch table and all of us were lined up nicely along the bar. i don't know what the hell came over me but i just bared my chest (and the writing on it) to Jon when he passed me. i have no idea how the fuck i managed to do that when i was so nervous but i did.
then he pointed at my shorts and said (in Japanese), "there's writing there too, right?"
HE'D SEEN HANNAH'S FUCKING TWEET FROM EARLIER
while i was busy squeeing into Bernie's shoulder, Jon walked on to the merch table, stopping to hug my mom and telling her "welcome back", too.
i approached Jon with Bernie (because there's no way in hell i'm going to talk to him by myself) later. i'm not sure what started the conversation or whatever but it led to my dropping my shorts to show Jon the writing. he sort of squatted to get a closer look at it which kind of gave me a power trip because ha ha i have Jon fucking Underdown kneeling in front of me.
"You know, I got 'Belle' written down here too," he said, lifting his shirt to reveal… nothing. "Just joking."
"You didn't even wear the thong I got you," i said later.
Grinning that insufferable and irresistible grin of his, he retorted, "how do you know?"
and i just had noooo idea what to say to that.
Bernie asked him to sign some photos for fade family and… this was my moment of pure stupidity.
someone asked, "Are those the Ozzfest photos?"
"Yeah, the Ozzfest photos are awesome," Bernie said.
"My panties were soaked by the time I was done going through them," i said without thinking.
and Jon had heard me.
at that moment, we just found it funny but omg, i am regretting it so much. i am not sex-obsessed and i do not make sexual innuendos all the time, i promise.
after Bernie's photos were signed, i asked him to sign the photo i'd prepared:
you guys, he drew a little heart.
it's a picture of him and the thong i'd given him last year. technically, he did keep his promise to me because he did take a photo with the thong. zurui, Jon...
then i showed him my tattoo and asked him to sign that too. i kinda dislike how my thigh tattoo came out… it didn't heal very well because i had to wear long pants at work so the tattoo couldn't 'breathe' a lot in its healing stages and some of the letters sorta smudged. but Jon was able to read it, so…
he knelt down to sign my thigh.
how's that, y'all? the shy girl got Jon to kneel down before her twice in one night ha ha ha.
Hannah and Louise got him to sign their towels. then afterwards, they got hugs.
i was nervous again. i really was. but dammit, i don't know when the hell i'm gonna see him again so i swallowed the anxiety and asked Jon if i could have a hug, too.
"Aw, Belle, come here."
then i hugged him (Jon is a good head and a half taller than me. yeah, i'm five feet tiny).
"You're shaking again," he said. of course he remembered how i'd been shaking so hard when i'd hugged him last year...
"I am not!" i insisted. i even focused myself on my body to see if i was shaking and i could've sworn that i wasn't!! but Hannah said she saw my shoulders trembling a little and Bernie agreed that i was probably too excited-cum-nervous to stay still. god, i'm pathetic… :<
"You're shaking, I like that!" i wish i could've seen Jon's face as he said that.
we gave him the purikura after that and he called it a "sexy purikura".
after that, Jon went to talk to some other fans so i busied myself with taking photos of the autographs and then standing with Louise and Hannah while listening to Nori talk. (i envy how Nori looks good with any hairstyle).
then i remembered i had yet to give him the America flag underwear… i had seriously considered not giving it to him because i didn't want him to think that all i cared about was his crotch (which is not true -- i care very much about his perfect, orangey nipples, too. no, but seriously, it was just meant as a gag gift).
Bernie told me to just go for it, though, but i was getting kinda shy again so i asked her to give it to him with me.
"We got you this because we thought you didn't like the thong," i said.
he looked at it. he flipped it over and looked at the front (i think he didn't see the writing on the back).
"Yeah, representation!" he said as he slung the underwear across his left shoulder.
i just giggled all the way. he turned his attention to another group of fans who couldn't help but giggle too.
then we all hung out with the H"Palty members, taking photos and talking a little.
much later, outside the concert hall and along the bar, i saw Jon talking to some fans and signing stuff for them. mom pointed out to me that the underwear i'd given him was in his back pocket. i just had to take a photo.
afterwards, all of us went around comparing hand sizes.
i have baby hands. i've yet to find a person who has smaller hands than mine. even my godsister four years younger than me has larger hands…
we compared our hand sizes with H"Palty and then with Nori and Jon. yep, i still have the tiniest hands of them all. i wonder if Kansei would have smaller hands than me… it's unlikely, but i'll still try it out one day if i get the chance.
the Club DROP staff asked us to leave once the musicians had left. so, Hannah, Louise, Bernie and i went upstairs and waited there to say bye to fade.
we fangirled a lot. and i learned from Hannah and Louise that Jon seemed amused by my "panties-were-soaked" comment so… iunno, maybe it was a good thing? i'm still fucking regretting it though. stupid me stupid me stupid me (that'll be my mantra for a month).
i was getting kind of sick, though. literally. static filled my vision at random intervals and my head was hurting quite a bit. but for the most part, i was alright and a very happy fangirl.
later, fade finally came out~~!
i said 'hi' to Kansei, waved to Godo and Nori (though i think they didn't see me). Jon was talking to some other fans. Hannah said she wanted to get a hug from Rui so i went with her.
after Hannah got her hug from Rui, i asked him for one too.
he asked if i was attending the live on the 21st. i told him i couldn't 'cause i was going to Sapporo after this and then it was back to Singapore but i said i would see them again next year, maybe, and Rui was like, "yeah, sure!"
yaaay i finally got a hug from Rui~!!
i didn't get a chance to talk to Jon or Kansei again 'cause they got on the van soon and then they left.
then, as always, i was hit with "it's over."
all of us went to the 24-hour Burger King but i don't think any of us were really hungry. we were just really happy.
but i was feeling kind of weird. like, i'm really happy i got to attend a fade live again. because they sound so much better live. and i'm ecstatic that i got Jon's autograph and that i got a hug from him and Rui.
but… i don't know. i just felt off.
it's followed me here to Sapporo. i still feel kinda awful for no real reason. maybe i'm just upset that it's over? yeah, it's probably just that (plus i still think Jon thinks i'm annoying). hopefully, i'll get to see them in late December. that's when my school holiday starts.
all in all, it was a fucktastic night, seriously.
i miss everyone so much (fade, Hannah, Louise, Bernie and everyone else).
but, seriously, i'm glad i made this detour to Osaka to see them. it was so good seeing them on stage again.
let's see what late December brings me, eh?
good night, fade family!
Bernie's report here.
well, i met up with Bernie, Louise and Hannah outside Club DROP Shinsaibashi at around 1:30pm. we went to have lunch, all the while talking about fade. it was very nice meeting Louise and Hannah and i had lots of fun. (just as my food was served, my mom came into the restaurant and told me she saw a poodle outside and i just had to go and pet it because omg, i hadn't pet a dog in almost a week by then and it was killing me)
after that, we went to take purikura~! it was the first time i was taking purikura with so many people. it was kinda chaotic but reeeeally fun.
Bernie spotted her friend, Yoko, at a cafe opposite DROP and we joined her. there, we got out our eyeliners and planned what to write on our boobies hahaha. i decided to go a step further and i dropped my shorts. people stared.
photo taken by the lovely Hannah who then fucking tWEETED IT TO JON.
i figured he wasn't gonna see it anyway so i didn't ask her to delete it.
from the cafe, we could see the entrance to DROP perfectly. we saw Nori enter and then we spent a good five minutes talking about his hair. afterwards, Yoko said she saw Jon but i was too busy drawing on the underwear i'd gotten for him that i missed him. :(
i don't remember who now (i'm so sorry!) but someone suggested that i write "KISS MY ASS. Love, Belle" on the back of it. the markers sucked, though, so it couldn't be read very easily. we also considered writing "BLOW ME" on the front but the marker ran outta ink, so…….
edit: Louise got a photo of my handy work!
half an hour before the doors were opened, we went down the stairs to the entrance of DROP. on the way down, we passed Rui who was standing by the stairs, talking on the phone. i seriously just froze up for a second before scurrying past him like a mouse. it was only then i was really hit with the realisation that i was going to fUCKING SEE FADE AGAIN.
a few minutes later, the whole fucking band walked out. i quickly hid behind Hannah because i just cannot look at Jon. I JUST CANNOT. HELP. (yeah, some people are probably thinking right now, "you wrote his name above your fucking vagina but you can't look at him?" well, yes. he makes me incredibly nervous, too.)
Godo wasn't with them, though, and when he walked out a while later by himself, i shouted, "I LOVE YOU" after him and he waved back.
the members of H"Palty came down the stairs later and Bernie gave them some treats from Singapore. i didn't know who they were, though, and i asked Bernie if one of them was her kareshi, hahaha.
another one of Bernie's friends, Yuuta, joined us later. we talked about all sorts of things (Bernie and i cursed each other in Chinese and Hokkien just for fun LAN JIAO). i hadn't laughed so hard in ages!
but no matter how much fun i was having, i couldn't ignore the growing nervousness. it was like a tiny seed that was growing into a tree. seriously, just thinking about facing Jon after the live freaked me out so bad that i thought i was gonna puke or something. please do not ask me why he makes me so nervous because i don't know either…
we continued talking inside the venue. it was also then that Yuuta decided to call me コカ (Koka [coke]) because he said my tattoo's font looked like the Coca-Cola font. then everyone else joined in. so i became "Coca-san".
at one point, i was freaking out again and clinging on to Bernie and screaming, "WHAT DO I SAY TO [JON]".
"Start with 'hello'," she said.
"And then?!"
"Okay, I'm Jon."
then she stretched her hand out towards me and pretended to be Jon, going, "hey, thanks for coming to the live." and i took it so seriously that i thought she was Jon and i just looked away and ran.
Bernie stayed in character and went, "hey, why're you running away?"
"SHUT UP!" i yelled back.
so, yeah, that was 'Jon' and i.
the fooling around continued until the first act started.
i think i should say now that this was my first live that WASN'T a one-band live. i had no idea how things worked; e.g. how many songs each band played, etc..
the first band played six songs, i think. after their performance, Bernie and i cracked our glow sticks and put them on our wrists and around our neck. we glowed like a Christmas tree.
the other bands were really good but i was really here for fade so, while i enjoyed their performances, i was getting really antsy. during one of the intermissions, Bernie brought me to the H"Palty merchandise table and introduced me to Isato (vocalist) as her imouto (he believed her, hahaha). Bernie said their music was really nice so i decided to give them a listen, so i bought one of their singles!
when H"Palty came on stage, Bernie and i went straight to the front row and had lots of fun there~
then when H"Palty's performance was over, i just broke down into a heap of anxiety.
'cause, yeah, the memories from the last fade live i attended haunted me (December 28th, 2012. it'd been almost nine months since i saw fade). and all i could remember from then was that i could not fucking look Jon in the eye because… well, because. i remember hiding my face with my fade hat afterwards during the After Party and not knowing what to say to him. that's all i remembered (well, besides the amazing live).
"Bernie, what do i do if he looks in my direction during the live?!"
"THEN YOU LOOK BACK."
"I CAN'T."
my stomach was twisting. i was a little dizzy. i was terrified but excited. i'm not sure if that's good or not.
before i could even fully calm down, the lights were dimmed. the curtains were pulled back. one by one, the members got on stage.
and they all looked smoking hawt. i mean, they dressed how they usually did but they just looked especially amazing that night.
and Jon was wearing that handsome blue blazer and looking just as handsome himself.
the energy was off the charts right from the start. they started big, they continued going strong and they had a very moving end.
it'd been a while since i'd attended a standing live, though, and it was as if my body didn't quite fit in. it took a few seconds for me to really get into it but once i had, i was jumping, head-banging, fist-pumping and screaming (my left calf and throat hates me very much now). fade's performances make it really easy for you to just "go with it".
their stage presence? wonderful. you just never want to look away. they command attention.
the music? top-notch. i thought everything was executed perfectly. then again, i'm no music expert. i just know i liked what i heard from them at the live.
and you know how i was so worried about making eye contact with Jon? for some reason, even when he looked my way, i wasn't that freaked out any more. i think i was too "high" (high can mean excited/very happy in Singapore) to be scared by then.
and, true to Bernie's word, i got a lot of crotch shots. like, Jon's groin was in my face almost half the time. that's probably 'cause i'm too short, though, and that's all i see when i look straight when he's in front of me.
AND THE PROXIMITY. personal space means nothing in a live, lol. Jon got really close to everyone in the front row. he even got right up in my face and shouted something over the music. Hannah, Louise, Bernie and i are still trying to figure out what he said, hahaha.
i thought he said "I love you too" because i'd tweeted him a photo of our fade bracelets the day before and mine had "Belle loves Jon" on it, so i thought he was replying to that.
but Bernie said she thought Jon said, "I'll take you" because i had "TAKE ME JON" written on my chest. but i thought my hair was covering part of the writing so he couldn't see it. so… yeah. i guess we'll never know.
either way, i was floored. i was just… gone. Bernie and i flailed over it together.
fade performed three new songs: Yure no Naka, Cross Road, My Way.
Yure no Naka is roooooockiiiiiiiing.
Cross Road and My Way both give me the same feel as Ever Free, but it's not like they're copies of each other. how do i describe this… when i first heard Ever Free, i felt my chest opening up (that sounds gross but bear with me). when i heard Cross Road, i felt like i was putting my arms into the sleeves of a jacket. and My Way just made me want to keep jumping.
i couldn't make out the lyrics so i might be completely wrong in regards to interpreting the song but that's what the music made me feel.
i was surprised they played the English version of Close to You. it was my demise, too, because i'd FORGOTTEN HALF THE LYRICS and Jon looked straight at me during this song and i was fucking stumbling over the lyrics omfg you guys i was so embarrassed.
then he placed his foot on the railing (like he usually does), leaned forward till he was right in front of me and said, "it's okay" (i think? Bernie thinks he said this too) and ruffled my hair. i couldn't look at him anymore so i just looked away and squeeed to myself while holding on to his leg.
they ended with Beautiful which was perfect. the lyrics always get to me and, man, it was good. it was a really, really good fade live, even with only seven songs.
right at the end of Beautiful, Bernie and i got out the fade Singapore flag which we'd prepared together when she was in Singapore.
that's me turning the flag into a maxi-skirt.
after the curtains were drawn, i dropped to my knees immediately and flailed with Bernie. i was so out of it that i didn't realise Jon had stuck his arm out from behind the curtains until he was pulling it back in and i just blurted out, "fucker". whoops.
it was kind of a blur afterwards. all of us (Hannah, Louise, Bernie, mom, Yuuta and his friend Takashi and i) all headed out to the bar and we used our drink coupons (i drank coca-cola because i didn't know any of the drinks on the menu and i really only like sweet beer and sweet wine). i met Miyagawa-san (a.k.a Chang-chang-san) and all of us took some photos together and with H"Palty (who are friggin' adorable srsly). i asked Isato for a hug and that started a hug fest.
we also asked the members of H"Palty to sign our H"Palty CDs~
a while later, it was ~fade time~
Bernie told me beforehand that only Jon, Nori and Kansei came out to the merch table so i thought i'd catch Rui and Godo later when we demachi'd. but Kansei didn't come out either. :(
anyway, Jon and Nori had to walk past the bar to get to the merch table and all of us were lined up nicely along the bar. i don't know what the hell came over me but i just bared my chest (and the writing on it) to Jon when he passed me. i have no idea how the fuck i managed to do that when i was so nervous but i did.
then he pointed at my shorts and said (in Japanese), "there's writing there too, right?"
HE'D SEEN HANNAH'S FUCKING TWEET FROM EARLIER
while i was busy squeeing into Bernie's shoulder, Jon walked on to the merch table, stopping to hug my mom and telling her "welcome back", too.
i approached Jon with Bernie (because there's no way in hell i'm going to talk to him by myself) later. i'm not sure what started the conversation or whatever but it led to my dropping my shorts to show Jon the writing. he sort of squatted to get a closer look at it which kind of gave me a power trip because ha ha i have Jon fucking Underdown kneeling in front of me.
"You know, I got 'Belle' written down here too," he said, lifting his shirt to reveal… nothing. "Just joking."
"You didn't even wear the thong I got you," i said later.
Grinning that insufferable and irresistible grin of his, he retorted, "how do you know?"
and i just had noooo idea what to say to that.
Bernie asked him to sign some photos for fade family and… this was my moment of pure stupidity.
someone asked, "Are those the Ozzfest photos?"
"Yeah, the Ozzfest photos are awesome," Bernie said.
"My panties were soaked by the time I was done going through them," i said without thinking.
and Jon had heard me.
at that moment, we just found it funny but omg, i am regretting it so much. i am not sex-obsessed and i do not make sexual innuendos all the time, i promise.
after Bernie's photos were signed, i asked him to sign the photo i'd prepared:
you guys, he drew a little heart.
it's a picture of him and the thong i'd given him last year. technically, he did keep his promise to me because he did take a photo with the thong. zurui, Jon...
then i showed him my tattoo and asked him to sign that too. i kinda dislike how my thigh tattoo came out… it didn't heal very well because i had to wear long pants at work so the tattoo couldn't 'breathe' a lot in its healing stages and some of the letters sorta smudged. but Jon was able to read it, so…
he knelt down to sign my thigh.
how's that, y'all? the shy girl got Jon to kneel down before her twice in one night ha ha ha.
Hannah and Louise got him to sign their towels. then afterwards, they got hugs.
i was nervous again. i really was. but dammit, i don't know when the hell i'm gonna see him again so i swallowed the anxiety and asked Jon if i could have a hug, too.
"Aw, Belle, come here."
then i hugged him (Jon is a good head and a half taller than me. yeah, i'm five feet tiny).
"You're shaking again," he said. of course he remembered how i'd been shaking so hard when i'd hugged him last year...
"I am not!" i insisted. i even focused myself on my body to see if i was shaking and i could've sworn that i wasn't!! but Hannah said she saw my shoulders trembling a little and Bernie agreed that i was probably too excited-cum-nervous to stay still. god, i'm pathetic… :<
"You're shaking, I like that!" i wish i could've seen Jon's face as he said that.
we gave him the purikura after that and he called it a "sexy purikura".
after that, Jon went to talk to some other fans so i busied myself with taking photos of the autographs and then standing with Louise and Hannah while listening to Nori talk. (i envy how Nori looks good with any hairstyle).
then i remembered i had yet to give him the America flag underwear… i had seriously considered not giving it to him because i didn't want him to think that all i cared about was his crotch (which is not true -- i care very much about his perfect, orangey nipples, too. no, but seriously, it was just meant as a gag gift).
Bernie told me to just go for it, though, but i was getting kinda shy again so i asked her to give it to him with me.
"We got you this because we thought you didn't like the thong," i said.
he looked at it. he flipped it over and looked at the front (i think he didn't see the writing on the back).
"Yeah, representation!" he said as he slung the underwear across his left shoulder.
i just giggled all the way. he turned his attention to another group of fans who couldn't help but giggle too.
then we all hung out with the H"Palty members, taking photos and talking a little.
much later, outside the concert hall and along the bar, i saw Jon talking to some fans and signing stuff for them. mom pointed out to me that the underwear i'd given him was in his back pocket. i just had to take a photo.
afterwards, all of us went around comparing hand sizes.
i have baby hands. i've yet to find a person who has smaller hands than mine. even my godsister four years younger than me has larger hands…
we compared our hand sizes with H"Palty and then with Nori and Jon. yep, i still have the tiniest hands of them all. i wonder if Kansei would have smaller hands than me… it's unlikely, but i'll still try it out one day if i get the chance.
the Club DROP staff asked us to leave once the musicians had left. so, Hannah, Louise, Bernie and i went upstairs and waited there to say bye to fade.
we fangirled a lot. and i learned from Hannah and Louise that Jon seemed amused by my "panties-were-soaked" comment so… iunno, maybe it was a good thing? i'm still fucking regretting it though. stupid me stupid me stupid me (that'll be my mantra for a month).
i was getting kind of sick, though. literally. static filled my vision at random intervals and my head was hurting quite a bit. but for the most part, i was alright and a very happy fangirl.
later, fade finally came out~~!
i said 'hi' to Kansei, waved to Godo and Nori (though i think they didn't see me). Jon was talking to some other fans. Hannah said she wanted to get a hug from Rui so i went with her.
after Hannah got her hug from Rui, i asked him for one too.
he asked if i was attending the live on the 21st. i told him i couldn't 'cause i was going to Sapporo after this and then it was back to Singapore but i said i would see them again next year, maybe, and Rui was like, "yeah, sure!"
yaaay i finally got a hug from Rui~!!
i didn't get a chance to talk to Jon or Kansei again 'cause they got on the van soon and then they left.
then, as always, i was hit with "it's over."
all of us went to the 24-hour Burger King but i don't think any of us were really hungry. we were just really happy.
but i was feeling kind of weird. like, i'm really happy i got to attend a fade live again. because they sound so much better live. and i'm ecstatic that i got Jon's autograph and that i got a hug from him and Rui.
but… i don't know. i just felt off.
it's followed me here to Sapporo. i still feel kinda awful for no real reason. maybe i'm just upset that it's over? yeah, it's probably just that (plus i still think Jon thinks i'm annoying). hopefully, i'll get to see them in late December. that's when my school holiday starts.
all in all, it was a fucktastic night, seriously.
i miss everyone so much (fade, Hannah, Louise, Bernie and everyone else).
but, seriously, i'm glad i made this detour to Osaka to see them. it was so good seeing them on stage again.
let's see what late December brings me, eh?
good night, fade family!
Bernie's report here.