Eversion/My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic :: READY! FOR CUPCAKES
Who among you have read the infamous My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfic, Cupcakes? Which, in spite of my squeamish nature, didn't squick me out nearly as much as I thought it should. Is it because Sweeney Todd is my favorite musical? That I've been watching films like American Psycho and Clockwork Orange? Maybe Cinema Snob has something to do with it. I mean, Cupcakes had a few moments that made me go "ow" but it didn't make me literally sick like "Guts" by Chuck Palahniuk did.
The fact I sound desensitized disturbs me more than Cupcakes itself. D: Needless to say, the fanwork and the reactions are what makes the fic interesting. Sure enough, I had this bunny (more like Killer Rabbit) gnawing on me so I had to give in and write this little crossover. Clearly not my best work (even for Cupcakes!Pinkie Pie, I don't think she's "Pinkie" enough) but it was a good opportunity to throw in horrible puns.
P.S. There really is a pony named Sweetheart, and she's one of the "7 Pony Friends" in a show called "My Little Pony Tales." Here's her photo.
Title: READY! FOR CUPCAKES!
Author: Puri
Fandom: Eversion meets My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Takes place after "Cupcakes" by Sergeant Sprinkles: World's Greatest Party Clown. Cameo appearance from a mystery fandom.
Genre: Horror
Rating: R
Warnings: Graphic violence. Cannibalism. OOC!Pinkie Pie.
Ships/Characters: Zee-Tee, Pinkie Pie & Pinkamena. Plus a surprise guest.
Finished: Yes
Zee-Tee sat upon a stool in front of a decorated table, his feet dangling off the edge. His travels had taken him far, far away to the point he didn't know where he was anymore, so when this kindly, cheery face opened the door for him and invited him to a party, how could he say no? After all, a party! He observed his friendly host, who was a young mare with a poofy pink mane and tail like the clouds he trod upon and walked through. She dressed in a homemade cloak patched together with unique shining colors and patterns, like Joseph's from the Bible. She wore an elegant necklace whose horns mingled together like wind chimes. She had three pairs of wings like a seraph of the highest order.
"Princess? Aw, don't call me that. My name's Pinkie Pie!" the party pony chirped, literally bouncing her way toward the kitchen. "Wait here while I get your cupcakes~"
For once, Zee-Tee had all the time in the world. He jumped with excitement as the pink host carried in the tray of fabulous morsels, individually decorated and mouth-watering to the nose, mouth and eyes. She encouraged him to pick one. He spotted a cupcake with yellow frosting and pink butterfly sprinkles, delicately picking it up as if it was another gem. After everything he had gone through, with all the troubles and tribulations he had endured, the idea that anyone would be so kind to him made his heart flutter. Zee-Tee murmured a shy thank-you.
"You've got good taste!" Pinkie Pie giggled, helping herself to a lavender cupcake with sprinkles like sparkles. "This is my newest batch of cupcakes. Easy-peasy-cheesy, right? But nooooooo! It took longer than I thought to bake these! I struggled a lot to get the right ingredients, but thankfully, it all turned out the way I had wanted it to. It was fun!" She chomped a huge bite out of her cupcake. "Thish one ish my firsd fren efer! I hafd to be smard to mag dis one a success!"
Zee-Tee chewed his own cupcake slowly. Who knew baking cupcakes involved such complicated strategies?
"A friend told me that whatever you do--from hitting the books to baking cupcakes--it's an art." Pinkie Pie finished her first cupcake, and contemplated a morsel with white frosting crowned with blue diamonds. "She used to sew her own clothes and make her own fashions. She taught me too! I made this cloak all by myself~! Okay, I kind of had to beg her for help, just to make sure the stitching wouldn't fall apart, even when she was all 'NO PINKIE NO' but it turned out all right in the end! As my friend always said, 'Paint the pony, cut the lines!' Or was it 'paint the picture...?' Oh well! I don't know what she was so worried about! 'NOOOOO PINKIE DON'T DO THIS!' Blah blah blah! Paint the pony, cut the lines!" Suddenly, her hoofs grabbed the table and she leered at her guest, leaning close as she clenched her teeth.
"Paint the pony, cut the lines."
"What?"
"Paint the pony, cut the lines! Cut the fabric, watch the colors spill - LET IT COME!" Pinkie Pie's arms were spread and she appeared as a towering messiah, and her pupils dilated as if she was sinking into her own world and dragging Zee-Tee along with her. She blinked and her eyes returned to normal size, and she grinned as if nothing happened. "So! What do you think of your cupcakes?"
"Delicious!" Zee-Tee cried. He helped himself to another cupcake, devouring a divine mix of sugar and apples. "You must have worked so hard to bake these! They're the best cupcakes I've had in my entire life!"
"Thank you! But I couldn't have done it without my friends!" Pinkie Pie cheered. "They taught me the valuable magic of friendship... it makes the yummiest cupcakes in the world! And it makes me so so so so happy I got to share them with you!"
"You're my best friend, Pinkie Pie!" Zee-Tee squealed. He licked the remaining rainbow crumbs off his lips. "I'm stuffed! Is there any more? I want to bring some home for the princess as a present!"
"Oh, well... looks like I'm all out!" said Pinkie. "I know! Would you like to bake more cupcakes with me?"
"Yes! Yes!" The flower bounced in a manner similar to his new friend. "I'd love to!"
"Then what are we waiting for? Those cupcakes won't bake themselves, you know! Let's party!"
Giggling, Zee-Tee raced to the kitchen, with Pinkie Pie bounding behind him.
~
The room went dark and the world pulled inside-out. The streamers unraveled themselves as entrails, and the balloons turned out to be bladders and stomachs filled with helium. The party hats transformed into skulls and the table and chairs were skeletal and cushioned with the flesh of past victims. Pinkie Pie herself hadn't changed, except now her mane and tail were as straight and smooth as a set of pink blades. She trotted slowly toward Zee-Tee.
"You know, I never met anypony like you before! I didn't think I'd ever meet anypony who... understands." the party pony said. "You've even got that special ingredient I've been looking for all this time!"
"What ingredient?"
"You, of course! Duh!"
Before the flower had time to react, Pinkamena stomped hard on his foot, making him wail in agony. She leaned down and rubbed her nose against his face, inhaling hard.
"Mmmm! Smells good! You know, I wasn't sure if you had a smell or not, since you're a flower, but not all flowers smell, but you smell really sweet! The fragrance will be great for my cupcakes!" She began plucking his petals with her teeth, leaving bleeding cuts all around his body. "Hold still! I can't get it all if you keep squirming like that!"
"Stop!" It was useless. Zee-Tee couldn't pull free from Pinkie's hoof and his head felt as if someone ripped hair right off his scalp.
Pinkamena filled the tray with a petal for each individual cupcake. She picked up a butcher knife.
"Let me go... please!" Zee-Tee cried, tears muddying his raw and bloodied face. The pink pony contemplated him for a moment, her eyes narrowed with the implication of sympathy.
"Okie-dokie-lokie!"
She chopped through his trapped leg. He exploded.
Red goop splattered on Pinkamena's face and mane, leaving her temporarily stunned. After gaining her bearings, her tongue ran along her lips, sampling the essence of her old friend's remains. She beamed.
~ALTERNATE ENDING~
"You know, I never met anypony like you before! I didn't think I'd ever meet anypony who... understands." the party pony said.
"That's right..." Zee-Tee's transformation caught up with the rest of the scenery, and he bared his needle-sharp teeth into a wide grin. "Uoy t'ndid, oot ti hguotht was ouy?"
"Uh huh! True friends never die!" She picked up a cupcake tray and laid it before them. Possibilities filled their minds like batter in a bowl, and the diabolical duo picked up instruments to begin baking.
"READY!" Pinkamena cheered. "FOR CUPCAKES!"
~ALTERNATE ENDING 2~
"Mr. Greedy! Mr. Greedy~!"
"Huh? What? Who's there? Excuse me."
"It's me! Your friend Pinkie Pie!" The pink pony bounced to the ledge, hanging many feet above the taffy pit. "I got you the flower cupcakes you wanted!"
"Did-Did someone say flour...?"
"Here you go, Mr. Greedy! Enjoy your cupcakes!" Pinkie Pie used her back hooves to hit the tray, firing the baked goods down upon the pit. The sentient taffy widened his enormous mouth, devouring the food with much slurping and moaning. He licked his lips to catch the remaining crumbs.
"Hey Mr. Greedy~! CATCH!" Pinkie Pie saved one cupcake to use for a curveball, swinging her arm until the Greedy had risen to her height. She aimed her throw right down his throat. His sugary teeth clamped shut and he belched in appreciation; she had scored a home run. "Now you can enjoy these latest cupcakes anytime you like! Forever!"
"Mm-mmm! Yes!" The Greedy was reminded of the last batch that his pink friend had brought him, which tasted like moon-pies, and he promptly unburied them from his body to consume them again. "I appreciate all the goodies you've -urp- pardon me, given me."
"Uh huh!"
"But there's still something missing..."
"What is it, Mr. Greedy?"
"You said that you'd bring me -hic- a Sweetheart..."
"Ohhhhh! That Sweetheart!"
"Y-Yes. A Sweetheart!"
"No worries, Greedy! I know just the place to find it!"
"You... you have a Sweetheart for me...?"
"Uh huh! Of course I do!"
"I-I can't wait any longer! I need my Sweetheart! I can't go on waiting and eating like this!"
"Silly-dilly! I don't have your Sweetheart yet! But I know just where to find it! You'll be so super-duper happy from my scrumdiddlyumptious cupcakes you'll never have to worry about eating anything again!"
She picked up her tray and began trotting away.
"If you excuse me, I have a special ingredient to pick up at Coltonville. You'll get your Sweetheart soon!"
The fact I sound desensitized disturbs me more than Cupcakes itself. D: Needless to say, the fanwork and the reactions are what makes the fic interesting. Sure enough, I had this bunny (more like Killer Rabbit) gnawing on me so I had to give in and write this little crossover. Clearly not my best work (even for Cupcakes!Pinkie Pie, I don't think she's "Pinkie" enough) but it was a good opportunity to throw in horrible puns.
P.S. There really is a pony named Sweetheart, and she's one of the "7 Pony Friends" in a show called "My Little Pony Tales." Here's her photo.
Title: READY! FOR CUPCAKES!
Author: Puri
Fandom: Eversion meets My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Takes place after "Cupcakes" by Sergeant Sprinkles: World's Greatest Party Clown. Cameo appearance from a mystery fandom.
Genre: Horror
Rating: R
Warnings: Graphic violence. Cannibalism. OOC!Pinkie Pie.
Ships/Characters: Zee-Tee, Pinkie Pie & Pinkamena. Plus a surprise guest.
Finished: Yes
Zee-Tee sat upon a stool in front of a decorated table, his feet dangling off the edge. His travels had taken him far, far away to the point he didn't know where he was anymore, so when this kindly, cheery face opened the door for him and invited him to a party, how could he say no? After all, a party! He observed his friendly host, who was a young mare with a poofy pink mane and tail like the clouds he trod upon and walked through. She dressed in a homemade cloak patched together with unique shining colors and patterns, like Joseph's from the Bible. She wore an elegant necklace whose horns mingled together like wind chimes. She had three pairs of wings like a seraph of the highest order.
"Princess? Aw, don't call me that. My name's Pinkie Pie!" the party pony chirped, literally bouncing her way toward the kitchen. "Wait here while I get your cupcakes~"
For once, Zee-Tee had all the time in the world. He jumped with excitement as the pink host carried in the tray of fabulous morsels, individually decorated and mouth-watering to the nose, mouth and eyes. She encouraged him to pick one. He spotted a cupcake with yellow frosting and pink butterfly sprinkles, delicately picking it up as if it was another gem. After everything he had gone through, with all the troubles and tribulations he had endured, the idea that anyone would be so kind to him made his heart flutter. Zee-Tee murmured a shy thank-you.
"You've got good taste!" Pinkie Pie giggled, helping herself to a lavender cupcake with sprinkles like sparkles. "This is my newest batch of cupcakes. Easy-peasy-cheesy, right? But nooooooo! It took longer than I thought to bake these! I struggled a lot to get the right ingredients, but thankfully, it all turned out the way I had wanted it to. It was fun!" She chomped a huge bite out of her cupcake. "Thish one ish my firsd fren efer! I hafd to be smard to mag dis one a success!"
Zee-Tee chewed his own cupcake slowly. Who knew baking cupcakes involved such complicated strategies?
"A friend told me that whatever you do--from hitting the books to baking cupcakes--it's an art." Pinkie Pie finished her first cupcake, and contemplated a morsel with white frosting crowned with blue diamonds. "She used to sew her own clothes and make her own fashions. She taught me too! I made this cloak all by myself~! Okay, I kind of had to beg her for help, just to make sure the stitching wouldn't fall apart, even when she was all 'NO PINKIE NO' but it turned out all right in the end! As my friend always said, 'Paint the pony, cut the lines!' Or was it 'paint the picture...?' Oh well! I don't know what she was so worried about! 'NOOOOO PINKIE DON'T DO THIS!' Blah blah blah! Paint the pony, cut the lines!" Suddenly, her hoofs grabbed the table and she leered at her guest, leaning close as she clenched her teeth.
"Paint the pony, cut the lines."
"What?"
"Paint the pony, cut the lines! Cut the fabric, watch the colors spill - LET IT COME!" Pinkie Pie's arms were spread and she appeared as a towering messiah, and her pupils dilated as if she was sinking into her own world and dragging Zee-Tee along with her. She blinked and her eyes returned to normal size, and she grinned as if nothing happened. "So! What do you think of your cupcakes?"
"Delicious!" Zee-Tee cried. He helped himself to another cupcake, devouring a divine mix of sugar and apples. "You must have worked so hard to bake these! They're the best cupcakes I've had in my entire life!"
"Thank you! But I couldn't have done it without my friends!" Pinkie Pie cheered. "They taught me the valuable magic of friendship... it makes the yummiest cupcakes in the world! And it makes me so so so so happy I got to share them with you!"
"You're my best friend, Pinkie Pie!" Zee-Tee squealed. He licked the remaining rainbow crumbs off his lips. "I'm stuffed! Is there any more? I want to bring some home for the princess as a present!"
"Oh, well... looks like I'm all out!" said Pinkie. "I know! Would you like to bake more cupcakes with me?"
"Yes! Yes!" The flower bounced in a manner similar to his new friend. "I'd love to!"
"Then what are we waiting for? Those cupcakes won't bake themselves, you know! Let's party!"
Giggling, Zee-Tee raced to the kitchen, with Pinkie Pie bounding behind him.
~
The room went dark and the world pulled inside-out. The streamers unraveled themselves as entrails, and the balloons turned out to be bladders and stomachs filled with helium. The party hats transformed into skulls and the table and chairs were skeletal and cushioned with the flesh of past victims. Pinkie Pie herself hadn't changed, except now her mane and tail were as straight and smooth as a set of pink blades. She trotted slowly toward Zee-Tee.
"You know, I never met anypony like you before! I didn't think I'd ever meet anypony who... understands." the party pony said. "You've even got that special ingredient I've been looking for all this time!"
"What ingredient?"
"You, of course! Duh!"
Before the flower had time to react, Pinkamena stomped hard on his foot, making him wail in agony. She leaned down and rubbed her nose against his face, inhaling hard.
"Mmmm! Smells good! You know, I wasn't sure if you had a smell or not, since you're a flower, but not all flowers smell, but you smell really sweet! The fragrance will be great for my cupcakes!" She began plucking his petals with her teeth, leaving bleeding cuts all around his body. "Hold still! I can't get it all if you keep squirming like that!"
"Stop!" It was useless. Zee-Tee couldn't pull free from Pinkie's hoof and his head felt as if someone ripped hair right off his scalp.
Pinkamena filled the tray with a petal for each individual cupcake. She picked up a butcher knife.
"Let me go... please!" Zee-Tee cried, tears muddying his raw and bloodied face. The pink pony contemplated him for a moment, her eyes narrowed with the implication of sympathy.
"Okie-dokie-lokie!"
She chopped through his trapped leg. He exploded.
Red goop splattered on Pinkamena's face and mane, leaving her temporarily stunned. After gaining her bearings, her tongue ran along her lips, sampling the essence of her old friend's remains. She beamed.
~ALTERNATE ENDING~
"You know, I never met anypony like you before! I didn't think I'd ever meet anypony who... understands." the party pony said.
"That's right..." Zee-Tee's transformation caught up with the rest of the scenery, and he bared his needle-sharp teeth into a wide grin. "Uoy t'ndid, oot ti hguotht was ouy?"
"Uh huh! True friends never die!" She picked up a cupcake tray and laid it before them. Possibilities filled their minds like batter in a bowl, and the diabolical duo picked up instruments to begin baking.
"READY!" Pinkamena cheered. "FOR CUPCAKES!"
~ALTERNATE ENDING 2~
"Mr. Greedy! Mr. Greedy~!"
"Huh? What? Who's there? Excuse me."
"It's me! Your friend Pinkie Pie!" The pink pony bounced to the ledge, hanging many feet above the taffy pit. "I got you the flower cupcakes you wanted!"
"Did-Did someone say flour...?"
"Here you go, Mr. Greedy! Enjoy your cupcakes!" Pinkie Pie used her back hooves to hit the tray, firing the baked goods down upon the pit. The sentient taffy widened his enormous mouth, devouring the food with much slurping and moaning. He licked his lips to catch the remaining crumbs.
"Hey Mr. Greedy~! CATCH!" Pinkie Pie saved one cupcake to use for a curveball, swinging her arm until the Greedy had risen to her height. She aimed her throw right down his throat. His sugary teeth clamped shut and he belched in appreciation; she had scored a home run. "Now you can enjoy these latest cupcakes anytime you like! Forever!"
"Mm-mmm! Yes!" The Greedy was reminded of the last batch that his pink friend had brought him, which tasted like moon-pies, and he promptly unburied them from his body to consume them again. "I appreciate all the goodies you've -urp- pardon me, given me."
"Uh huh!"
"But there's still something missing..."
"What is it, Mr. Greedy?"
"You said that you'd bring me -hic- a Sweetheart..."
"Ohhhhh! That Sweetheart!"
"Y-Yes. A Sweetheart!"
"No worries, Greedy! I know just the place to find it!"
"You... you have a Sweetheart for me...?"
"Uh huh! Of course I do!"
"I-I can't wait any longer! I need my Sweetheart! I can't go on waiting and eating like this!"
"Silly-dilly! I don't have your Sweetheart yet! But I know just where to find it! You'll be so super-duper happy from my scrumdiddlyumptious cupcakes you'll never have to worry about eating anything again!"
She picked up her tray and began trotting away.
"If you excuse me, I have a special ingredient to pick up at Coltonville. You'll get your Sweetheart soon!"