Crossroads - A Blue Gravel Path (9/13)
Title: A Blue Gravel Path
Characters: The Doctor, Rose Tyler, among others
Warnings: PG. Oh, and it’s baby!fic.
Spoilers: For the sake of this story, S4 never happens.
Beta: runriggers
Part of the Crossroads series
A now AU and non-S4 compliant story. Ah well.
Part One: Reflections
Part Two: One Day
Part Three: Choices and Chances
Part Four: A Blue Gravel Path - Chapter One ~ Chapter Two ~ Chapter Three ~ Chapter Four ~ Chapter Five ~ Chapter Six ~ Chapter Seven ~ Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine: Back to the Crossroads..... Rose and the Doctor return to find a TARDIS in pain and a series of distressing messages. It only gets worse from there.
Chapter Nine: Back to the Crossroads
The Doctor hurried back to the TARDIS, not wanting to waste a moment; Rose would rather have gone at a slower pace, considering that they had three children with them now, two of them too small to walk. Dex, luckily, was good and did not complain very much. He carried the small bag which Elizabeth had pressed upon them, and Rose considered it lucky that there hadn’t been more than the few beautifully adorned linen baby clothes, though she had no intention of dressing Janie in them. Somewhere in the back of the TARDIS closet, Nina’s smallest, more sensible infant clothes waited, and Rose intended to dig them out if the TARDIS had not located them already.
“Doctor," Rose called to him, twenty paces ahead. “Slow down, can’t you - Nina’s heavy!”
The Doctor turned, but kept walking backwards, holding Janie against his shoulder. "I can take her."
"I don’t mind carrying Nina - I just want you to slow down!” Rose caught up to him finally, and studied his face. “You’re worried."
"Yes.”
"Is it Elizabeth? Or Janie?"
"No, it’s..." The Doctor frowned. “Something’s wrong. Something isn’t right."
“The time lines?”
“No," the Doctor replied. "We’ve got Janie now - that’s meant to happen. The time lines haven’t shifted. No...there’s something else wrong, right at the back of my head. Can’t you feel it?"
"I can," piped up Dex.
Rose frowned as she closed her eyes, pushing out just a bit. "Oh,” she said after a moment. “There it is. Like something poking me over and over?"
The Doctor took her hand, entwining his fingers through hers. "I can take Nina, if she’s heavy."
Rose shook her head, unwilling to let go of her daughter so quickly. “No. I can keep up." She shifted the girl, ready to start another race, but the Doctor slowed down now, just enough that Rose was no longer too out of breath to talk.
“What will happen to her?" she asked, glancing at the sleeping Janie.
“Mary will die in another six months, and then Elizabeth will be queen."
"Not Elizabeth, you git, Janie!"
He glanced at the baby. If he was trying to look annoyed by the mere presence of Janie, he wasn’t being successful. "We know I don’t bring her back to see Elizabeth."
“Can we keep her?" asked Dex, nearly skipping beside them. Both of his parents gave him a look.
“Keep her?" echoed Rose, alarmed.
“As I recall, you didn’t even want Nina," the Doctor said. “And your mother has her hands full with two of you already.”
“But I like Janie.”
“As if he doesn’t like Nina,” the Doctor commented wryly.
"Well, what’s gonna happen to her if we don’t take her?" demanded Dex. “You can’t just leave her somewhere - you promised Elizabeth you’d take care of her.”
The Doctor glanced down at the baby in his arms. “I know."
“So you have to keep her,” continued Dex, sounding enormously pleased. "Goody.”
"Not goody," said the Doctor sharply. "I haven’t agreed to anything."
"I think you did, actually,” said Rose. "You certainly didn’t argue with Elizabeth when she handed the baby over."
He groaned. “I didn’t, did I?"
“Nope." Rose grinned at him.
“Do you want another baby on the TARDIS?"
Rose wrinkled her nose and shifted Nina. “I don’t know what else we could do. You promised Elizabeth. I suppose we could find a good family to raise her, leave her with them, check on her often-"
“NO," shouted Dex, suddenly darting in front of them and dropping the bag of clothes. Both of the babies were startled awake briefly, and Rose and the Doctor stopped in their tracks, their eyes darting between them and their suddenly stubborn son. “You can’t just leave her somewhere. You promised."
"Dex," began his father, but Dex wasn’t having any of it.
“I won’t let you just leave her, like she doesn’t matter. She does matter. She’s just little, she needs someone, and you took her away from the one person she really wanted. And you can’t just leave her with someone else, it isn’t fair, she’s too scared to make any kind of connection with anyone else, she doesn’t want to lose control again, you have to stay near her and help her learn how to use it, like you teach me and Nina, and she’s just one more, and there’s two of us already, and we’ve still got all of Nina’s baby things, Mummy’s been thinking of where the TARDIS put them all, so she can pull them out again, and if you boot her off the TARDIS, I’ll never forgive you for the rest of your life, ever ever."
“Breathe, Dex," said his father automatically, and Dex took a deep breath and held it, his cheeks bulging out in stubborn refusal to inhale any further.
Rose shook her head. “I think he means it.”
"I know he means it,” replied the Doctor, watching his son’s face turn pink. “He’s not even using his respiratory by-pass.”
"You’ll let him asphyxiate himself?”
“Oh, he’ll pass out before any permanent damage is done.”
"All right, but I’m not carrying him,” said Rose, and the Doctor groaned.
“Dex, breathe, please.”
No!
The effort of shouting telepathically was almost too much, and Dex’s mouth popped open. The Doctor leaned down and picked him up, resting him against his other shoulder, and continued walking.
“It’s not fair,” said Dex miserably into his father’s shoulder.
“It’s not easy picking up a third child just like that, you know,” the Doctor told him. “Just because we like Janie, doesn’t mean that staying with us is the best thing for her. We aren’t her parents. Maybe she doesn’t want us to be."
"You haven’t asked her.”
"No, I haven’t. But we haven’t asked your mother, either, and as she’d be doing quite a bit of the rearing, I think it’s only fair her opinion come into it.”
“Mum wouldn’t mind.”
“Oi," said Rose. “I’m capable of telling you what I mind and what I don’t."
“It’s a choice we’ll all make together," said the Doctor.
“No, it isn’t,” said Dex glumly. "It’s a choice you’ll make yourself. You won’t ask me. You won’t ask Janie. You’ve been talking all this time about what to do with Janie and not once did you say, let’s ask her, or let’s ask Dex. You’re just making plans."
“Dex, if we asked your opinion, we’d be having chocolate biscuits for breakfast every morning,” Rose pointed out.
“What’s wrong with that?" demanded Dex, turning his head to look at his mother.
“Because you’re still growing, and you need more nutrition than chocolate biscuits can give you. So until you choose fruit and cereal over chocolate biscuits, I’m still making that choice for you."
“But that’s breakfast, this is much more important," said Dex.
“We haven’t decided anything, Dex,” said the Doctor.
“I think you have. You just don’t want to admit it."
"What makes you say that?"
Dex shrugged. “You wouldn’t argue half as much if you agreed with me.”
The TARDIS was in view now; the Doctor let Dex slide down to the ground, where the boy crumpled, his arms crossing in refusal to walk on his own.
The Doctor pulled the key from his pocket, juggling Janie as he did so, and Rose knelt before her son.
"Dex," she said gently. “Come on, love. Don’t you want to come with us?"
“You’re going to leave her somewhere,” he accused, and Rose sighed.
“I don’t know, Dex, but I promise - we won’t leave her anywhere she doesn’t want to be. Okay?"
The TARDIS door opened, and for a moment, none of them could speak; the sense of fear and exhaustion, as well as a thin undercurrent of pain, overwhelmed them all. The babies instantly woke; Janie began to whimper, but Nina, far more familiar with the TARDIS, broke into a full-fledged howl.
"What...?" began the Doctor, and he leaned over to give Janie to Rose, who found herself comforting not two, but three upset children. Dex attempted to crawl into her lap, wrapping his arms around her waist. She could feel the sudden fear throbbing through both her son and daughter, and she had no doubt that Janie was equally confused and afraid.
The Doctor disappeared into the TARDIS, and the intense feelings that were emanating from the ship slowly ebbed back, still there, but no longer overwhelming. After another few minutes, Rose heard the Doctor shout.
“Rose!"
She wanted to leap up and follow him, but it took her a moment to unwind Dex and climb to her feet with two babies in her arms. By the time she managed to get inside the TARDIS, the Doctor was already under the console, fiddling with the wires and connections.
“Strap the kids in," he ordered. Rose heard the frantic tone in his voice, and immediately went to the car seats which had long since been installed for times when they were needed. “Dex, you, too."
"I can help,” insisted Dex, but the Doctor didn’t respond, which was an answer in itself. He stomped over to his mother, who had nearly finished strapping Nina into her car seat. Rose gave the baby a kiss and a pat, before turning her attention to her wayward son.
"I need you to hold Janie in your seat with you," she told him. “She’s too little to sit in your seat by herself, so I’m going to put the straps over both of you, and it’s your job to make sure she doesn’t slip out.”
"I’m not a baby.”
“I never said you were. But if Dad says strap in, he means it. And I can’t help him if I’ve got Janie, so you’re going to help me.”
Dex looked as though he was about to argue, but a quick glance at his father, hunched over the control panel and emanating the most frightening and intense feelings he’d ever had, seemed to convince the boy not to argue. He settled into his seat and took Janie on his lap, holding her securely while Rose fastened the straps. She gave him a kiss just as the Doctor shouted for her again, and Rose left the children to join him.
“What is it?"
“The strut," said the Doctor quickly. “The crack’s been getting worse - I think the damp in the forest might have exacerbated the problem. But that’s not the only thing - half of the connectors under the console have been knocked out of alignment, like someone’s been playing with them."
"Dex," said Rose, keeping her voice low.
The Doctor glanced at the children before refocusing on the connections. "Yes. I think he may have knocked them somehow when he was operating the TARDIS before."
“That’s what’s making her so upset, isn’t it?"
"I’ve never felt her this upset,” muttered the Doctor, and Rose could hear the worry in his voice, even if she couldn’t tell just by the way his thoughts quivered. His hand brushed the paneling, almost a caress, but Rose had long since gotten over any jealousy toward the ship. “It’s not just the strut, either, there’s something much deeper worrying her. She’s not communicating, either - it’s why we didn’t know something was wrong until we were back."
"Can she still fly?"
The Doctor gave Rose a guarded look. "Yes, but - it’ll be rough. And we won’t be able to go anywhere else until the repairs are finished - I wanted to take Janie to Martha for a check-up, but the parts I’ll need are on Fespa, and it could take a while-"
Rose rested her hand on the Doctor’s chest, lightly, and without even thinking, pushed her thoughts over his. She could sense the frantic pace his mind was setting, running in circles, making lists, cross-checking others, spinning so madly Rose wondered how he kept track of anything.
“Doctor," she said gently, and tried to settle her own sense of calm over him. His thoughts did not stop, but his hands did, and one of them left the connections to take hers, wrapping his fingers around her palm. “It’s all right. Make the TARDIS better, and we’ll all be fine.”
The Doctor smiled at her. "You’re too good for me.”
“Someday you’ll catch up," she teased him, and he pulled his hand away to snap the last connection in place.
The console room filled with the resounding and reverberating sounds of bells, whistles, and whoops. The deep ring of the cloisters overpowered all of this, and the Doctor scrambled up with an excited shout.
“Oh yeah!" The Doctor’s delight spread across his face, and overcome with relief and excitement, he grabbed Rose and spun her around. Rose was dizzy with laughter when he set her down again, and he fell on the control panel, throwing the levers and dials to mark their destination, before sprinting to the view screen. “Rose, are the kids strapped in?"
“Yes, we’re ready."
"Good, we’re going as soon as the coordinates are set." The Doctor pulled out the keyboard began typing furiously, when suddenly the blood drained from his face.
"Rose, when did you last check your mobile?"
Rose frowned and dug into her pocket. “This morning - no. Yesterday morning?" She frowned. “That can’t be right - I’ve been ringing Mum much more often than that recently.”
The Doctor didn’t reply; he simply spun the view screen so that Rose could see it from where she stood, just in time to see the blinking numbers, line after line of missed calls to the TARDIS console room.
The voice of Martha Jones, calm and serious, filled the room. "Doctor, I need you to ring me-"
Martha’s voice was overlapped by another voice; that of Sarah Jane Smith. "Doctor, this is Sarah Jane, either you or Rose should ring me soon as you can…."
A third voice. “Doc - this is Jack. Call me."
Martha again, more worried than before. "Doctor? Something’s got to be wrong - you’ve never gone this long...."
Jack. "Doc, Rose, me again. Please call me."
Jack. "Doc, I’m serious. It’s about the crossroads."
Jack. "Dammit, Doctor, you can ignore Martha and Sarah Jane, but get your ass back here because something’s going wrong with the crossroads."
Rose’s eyes widened, staring at the Doctor. Her hearts might have been beating, as she could feel the pumping in her ears, but the entire world was bathed in ice.
"Rose,” said the Doctor, "check your mobile."
She had forgotten she held it; Rose flipped it open: six missed calls.
“Martha," said Rose shakily, "and Sarah Jane. And Jack. And..." Her breath caught. "Mickey."
The Doctor snapped to action. He threw the circuitry levers and dials as he set a new destination. Rose stood still, unable to watch him, unable to say a word. She could only stare at her mobile screen, the little blinking light next to Mickey Smith’s name, indicating a missed call. She did not wonder why he’d called, though Mickey hadn’t rung in years. There was only one reason Mickey could have called her. Rose was almost afraid to look, but she had to do it; she lifted the wrist with her superwatch and pressed the button, and gasped.
"Doctor - it’s been five days."
"Rose?"
"For my mother. Five days have gone by for my mother since I rang her last."
The Doctor stopped his frantic work and stood in front of Rose, taking her by the shoulders. "Rose - look at me." She did, eyes full of regret and fear. "We’re going to London. As close to the crossroads as I can get.”
“But the TARDIS - her strut-"
“Never mind that, Rose. You’re going to call your mum from the crossroads. Everything’s going to be fine."
"But why would Mickey call unless-"
"No, Rose," said the Doctor firmly. "You must believe me. Everything will be all right."
She nodded, still not believing him, and he gently pushed her to sit on the nearby jump seat before returning to the frantic pace around the console.
For Rose, the moments went by in a haze. She didn’t remember the trip, though she felt every whimper and wriggle from the babies on the far side of the room. She watched the Doctor in his solitary motions as if she were watching a faraway dance, appreciating the beauty of his movements but not feeling particularly moved by them. She didn’t feel the soft bump of landing, and it was only when the Doctor took her hand and pulled her off the jump seat that she realized they’d arrived at all.
“I’ll be back in a moment,” the Doctor told the children as he pushed Rose towards the door, and Dex nodded, unable to speak for fear, his lip trembling.
They were in London, just on the edge of the still crumbled remains of Torchwood Tower. The sky was overcast and gray, threatening rain at any moment. A faint blue glow was visible in the center of the ruins, and Rose took several hesitant steps toward it, hardly able to remain upright on the rocky ground.
“Doctor!” she called out, uncertain. “The crossroads - it’s glowing.”
The Doctor surged ahead of her. “Call your mother," he called over his shoulder. “I’m going to look at the crossroads."
Her fingers shook so badly, Rose wasn’t sure how she managed to press the right buttons. With all her heart, she wanted to hear Jackie answer. The phone rang once, and Rose held her breath.
The phone rang a second time, and she closed her eyes in fear.
The phone rang a third time, and when Rose heard the click that signaled a connection, she opened her eyes again, desperately scanning the sky.
It was Mickey Smith who answered. "Rose," he said, and no more. Rose couldn’t speak. She closed her eyes again, feeling her shoulders begin to heave, her dual hearts begin to contract. This was different, pain and sorrow doubled. This was worse, a thousand times so, than when she’d stood against the solid white wall in the other Canary Wharf, another lifetime, another body, another world ago.
"Rose," Mickey repeated. "Are you there? Can you hear me?"
“Mickey? It’s...Mum, isn’t it?" Her eyes were stinging; they were on fire, and she opened them, desperate for cool air. The Doctor was just in view, so close to the crossroads that he was bathed in the blue light, otherworldly and ghost-like.
"I’m sorry, Rose," said Mickey.
Rose’s breath caught. “I...how?"
“Two days ago. It was peaceful, Rose. She was asleep, the doctors say she didn’t suffer."
Her breath caught. “Two days ago?"
“Yes. I called your mobile.”
"There was something wrong with the TARDIS; I never got the messages. I should have thought - I should have been prepared. I knew she was ill, but-"
"It took all of us by surprise, Rose," said Mickey, without being the least bit accusatory.
Rose swallowed, desperately wishing the Doctor would stop scanning the crossroads with the sonic screwdriver and come back to her. “Is - is Pete okay? And the twins?"
Mickey hesitated, and his voice was oddly high when he answered. “Pete?"
“He’s got to be devastated."
“Rose...Pete is....god, Rose, I’m sorry. Didn’t Jackie ever tell you? I shouldn’t be the one to tell you this. Not all of it."
Rose closed her eyes, briefly. "I-"
“The funeral is tomorrow,” said Mickey. “They’ll be next to each other, by Donald’s pond in the back garden. It was what Jackie wanted. She said - she said she talked to you there. She wished she could talk to you one last time, Rose. She loved you so much."
Rose’s throat constricted. She had thought there would be tears - but instead, her eyes were dry. Her chest hurt terribly, and her fingers went numb, as though they’d lost all blood flow. She kept her focus on the Doctor, still encased in blue glow, now frowning at the crossroads, and looking around the area.
"Mickey-"
“Rose, I have to go,” said Mickey. “I’m sorry. The wake is about to start, and Martha is waiting for me. Call me, when it’s over - we can talk then. There’s more I have to tell you."
Rose nodded. “Yes. I will."
“Rose...you’ll be all right?"
“Oh, me. I’ll be fine," said Rose, not sounding fine at all, but the static began to creep into the conversation again, and Rose wanted to scream for the line to keep clear.
“Love you, Rose,” said Mickey, and the static took over.
Rose stared at the mobile for a moment, unable to swallow, before looking up to see the Doctor straighten, looking over at her.
"Rose?" he called out.
"Doctor,” whispered Rose, unable to speak, and she could sense the purple haze of his thoughts reach toward her, worried. She reached to him, but she was so distraught that she couldn’t control the speed, and the moment her turquoise thoughts overlapped with his, the Doctor lost his balance on the rocky ground, and fell - backwards, his arms flailing out, directly into the crossroads, which sparked a brighter blue before closing over him, as if he’d never existed at all.
Rose pushed her mind out as far as she could, desperate to feel something that was the least bit familiar, some sense of the Doctor’s comfortable purple self.
There was nothing.
The TARDIS was broken. The children were strapped inside. Her mother was dead. She couldn’t call Mickey until the crossroads reset itself, and the Doctor was gone.
The Doctor was gone.
Rose closed her phone, the snap echoing in the sudden expanse of quiet, filled only by the rush of her blood in her ears.
The Doctor was gone.
Rose wrapped her arms over her head, unable to bear the silence, and began to scream.
Jump to Chapter Ten
Characters: The Doctor, Rose Tyler, among others
Warnings: PG. Oh, and it’s baby!fic.
Spoilers: For the sake of this story, S4 never happens.
Beta: runriggers
Part of the Crossroads series
A now AU and non-S4 compliant story. Ah well.
Part One: Reflections
Part Two: One Day
Part Three: Choices and Chances
Part Four: A Blue Gravel Path - Chapter One ~ Chapter Two ~ Chapter Three ~ Chapter Four ~ Chapter Five ~ Chapter Six ~ Chapter Seven ~ Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine: Back to the Crossroads..... Rose and the Doctor return to find a TARDIS in pain and a series of distressing messages. It only gets worse from there.
Chapter Nine: Back to the Crossroads
The Doctor hurried back to the TARDIS, not wanting to waste a moment; Rose would rather have gone at a slower pace, considering that they had three children with them now, two of them too small to walk. Dex, luckily, was good and did not complain very much. He carried the small bag which Elizabeth had pressed upon them, and Rose considered it lucky that there hadn’t been more than the few beautifully adorned linen baby clothes, though she had no intention of dressing Janie in them. Somewhere in the back of the TARDIS closet, Nina’s smallest, more sensible infant clothes waited, and Rose intended to dig them out if the TARDIS had not located them already.
“Doctor," Rose called to him, twenty paces ahead. “Slow down, can’t you - Nina’s heavy!”
The Doctor turned, but kept walking backwards, holding Janie against his shoulder. "I can take her."
"I don’t mind carrying Nina - I just want you to slow down!” Rose caught up to him finally, and studied his face. “You’re worried."
"Yes.”
"Is it Elizabeth? Or Janie?"
"No, it’s..." The Doctor frowned. “Something’s wrong. Something isn’t right."
“The time lines?”
“No," the Doctor replied. "We’ve got Janie now - that’s meant to happen. The time lines haven’t shifted. No...there’s something else wrong, right at the back of my head. Can’t you feel it?"
"I can," piped up Dex.
Rose frowned as she closed her eyes, pushing out just a bit. "Oh,” she said after a moment. “There it is. Like something poking me over and over?"
The Doctor took her hand, entwining his fingers through hers. "I can take Nina, if she’s heavy."
Rose shook her head, unwilling to let go of her daughter so quickly. “No. I can keep up." She shifted the girl, ready to start another race, but the Doctor slowed down now, just enough that Rose was no longer too out of breath to talk.
“What will happen to her?" she asked, glancing at the sleeping Janie.
“Mary will die in another six months, and then Elizabeth will be queen."
"Not Elizabeth, you git, Janie!"
He glanced at the baby. If he was trying to look annoyed by the mere presence of Janie, he wasn’t being successful. "We know I don’t bring her back to see Elizabeth."
“Can we keep her?" asked Dex, nearly skipping beside them. Both of his parents gave him a look.
“Keep her?" echoed Rose, alarmed.
“As I recall, you didn’t even want Nina," the Doctor said. “And your mother has her hands full with two of you already.”
“But I like Janie.”
“As if he doesn’t like Nina,” the Doctor commented wryly.
"Well, what’s gonna happen to her if we don’t take her?" demanded Dex. “You can’t just leave her somewhere - you promised Elizabeth you’d take care of her.”
The Doctor glanced down at the baby in his arms. “I know."
“So you have to keep her,” continued Dex, sounding enormously pleased. "Goody.”
"Not goody," said the Doctor sharply. "I haven’t agreed to anything."
"I think you did, actually,” said Rose. "You certainly didn’t argue with Elizabeth when she handed the baby over."
He groaned. “I didn’t, did I?"
“Nope." Rose grinned at him.
“Do you want another baby on the TARDIS?"
Rose wrinkled her nose and shifted Nina. “I don’t know what else we could do. You promised Elizabeth. I suppose we could find a good family to raise her, leave her with them, check on her often-"
“NO," shouted Dex, suddenly darting in front of them and dropping the bag of clothes. Both of the babies were startled awake briefly, and Rose and the Doctor stopped in their tracks, their eyes darting between them and their suddenly stubborn son. “You can’t just leave her somewhere. You promised."
"Dex," began his father, but Dex wasn’t having any of it.
“I won’t let you just leave her, like she doesn’t matter. She does matter. She’s just little, she needs someone, and you took her away from the one person she really wanted. And you can’t just leave her with someone else, it isn’t fair, she’s too scared to make any kind of connection with anyone else, she doesn’t want to lose control again, you have to stay near her and help her learn how to use it, like you teach me and Nina, and she’s just one more, and there’s two of us already, and we’ve still got all of Nina’s baby things, Mummy’s been thinking of where the TARDIS put them all, so she can pull them out again, and if you boot her off the TARDIS, I’ll never forgive you for the rest of your life, ever ever."
“Breathe, Dex," said his father automatically, and Dex took a deep breath and held it, his cheeks bulging out in stubborn refusal to inhale any further.
Rose shook her head. “I think he means it.”
"I know he means it,” replied the Doctor, watching his son’s face turn pink. “He’s not even using his respiratory by-pass.”
"You’ll let him asphyxiate himself?”
“Oh, he’ll pass out before any permanent damage is done.”
"All right, but I’m not carrying him,” said Rose, and the Doctor groaned.
“Dex, breathe, please.”
No!
The effort of shouting telepathically was almost too much, and Dex’s mouth popped open. The Doctor leaned down and picked him up, resting him against his other shoulder, and continued walking.
“It’s not fair,” said Dex miserably into his father’s shoulder.
“It’s not easy picking up a third child just like that, you know,” the Doctor told him. “Just because we like Janie, doesn’t mean that staying with us is the best thing for her. We aren’t her parents. Maybe she doesn’t want us to be."
"You haven’t asked her.”
"No, I haven’t. But we haven’t asked your mother, either, and as she’d be doing quite a bit of the rearing, I think it’s only fair her opinion come into it.”
“Mum wouldn’t mind.”
“Oi," said Rose. “I’m capable of telling you what I mind and what I don’t."
“It’s a choice we’ll all make together," said the Doctor.
“No, it isn’t,” said Dex glumly. "It’s a choice you’ll make yourself. You won’t ask me. You won’t ask Janie. You’ve been talking all this time about what to do with Janie and not once did you say, let’s ask her, or let’s ask Dex. You’re just making plans."
“Dex, if we asked your opinion, we’d be having chocolate biscuits for breakfast every morning,” Rose pointed out.
“What’s wrong with that?" demanded Dex, turning his head to look at his mother.
“Because you’re still growing, and you need more nutrition than chocolate biscuits can give you. So until you choose fruit and cereal over chocolate biscuits, I’m still making that choice for you."
“But that’s breakfast, this is much more important," said Dex.
“We haven’t decided anything, Dex,” said the Doctor.
“I think you have. You just don’t want to admit it."
"What makes you say that?"
Dex shrugged. “You wouldn’t argue half as much if you agreed with me.”
The TARDIS was in view now; the Doctor let Dex slide down to the ground, where the boy crumpled, his arms crossing in refusal to walk on his own.
The Doctor pulled the key from his pocket, juggling Janie as he did so, and Rose knelt before her son.
"Dex," she said gently. “Come on, love. Don’t you want to come with us?"
“You’re going to leave her somewhere,” he accused, and Rose sighed.
“I don’t know, Dex, but I promise - we won’t leave her anywhere she doesn’t want to be. Okay?"
The TARDIS door opened, and for a moment, none of them could speak; the sense of fear and exhaustion, as well as a thin undercurrent of pain, overwhelmed them all. The babies instantly woke; Janie began to whimper, but Nina, far more familiar with the TARDIS, broke into a full-fledged howl.
"What...?" began the Doctor, and he leaned over to give Janie to Rose, who found herself comforting not two, but three upset children. Dex attempted to crawl into her lap, wrapping his arms around her waist. She could feel the sudden fear throbbing through both her son and daughter, and she had no doubt that Janie was equally confused and afraid.
The Doctor disappeared into the TARDIS, and the intense feelings that were emanating from the ship slowly ebbed back, still there, but no longer overwhelming. After another few minutes, Rose heard the Doctor shout.
“Rose!"
She wanted to leap up and follow him, but it took her a moment to unwind Dex and climb to her feet with two babies in her arms. By the time she managed to get inside the TARDIS, the Doctor was already under the console, fiddling with the wires and connections.
“Strap the kids in," he ordered. Rose heard the frantic tone in his voice, and immediately went to the car seats which had long since been installed for times when they were needed. “Dex, you, too."
"I can help,” insisted Dex, but the Doctor didn’t respond, which was an answer in itself. He stomped over to his mother, who had nearly finished strapping Nina into her car seat. Rose gave the baby a kiss and a pat, before turning her attention to her wayward son.
"I need you to hold Janie in your seat with you," she told him. “She’s too little to sit in your seat by herself, so I’m going to put the straps over both of you, and it’s your job to make sure she doesn’t slip out.”
"I’m not a baby.”
“I never said you were. But if Dad says strap in, he means it. And I can’t help him if I’ve got Janie, so you’re going to help me.”
Dex looked as though he was about to argue, but a quick glance at his father, hunched over the control panel and emanating the most frightening and intense feelings he’d ever had, seemed to convince the boy not to argue. He settled into his seat and took Janie on his lap, holding her securely while Rose fastened the straps. She gave him a kiss just as the Doctor shouted for her again, and Rose left the children to join him.
“What is it?"
“The strut," said the Doctor quickly. “The crack’s been getting worse - I think the damp in the forest might have exacerbated the problem. But that’s not the only thing - half of the connectors under the console have been knocked out of alignment, like someone’s been playing with them."
"Dex," said Rose, keeping her voice low.
The Doctor glanced at the children before refocusing on the connections. "Yes. I think he may have knocked them somehow when he was operating the TARDIS before."
“That’s what’s making her so upset, isn’t it?"
"I’ve never felt her this upset,” muttered the Doctor, and Rose could hear the worry in his voice, even if she couldn’t tell just by the way his thoughts quivered. His hand brushed the paneling, almost a caress, but Rose had long since gotten over any jealousy toward the ship. “It’s not just the strut, either, there’s something much deeper worrying her. She’s not communicating, either - it’s why we didn’t know something was wrong until we were back."
"Can she still fly?"
The Doctor gave Rose a guarded look. "Yes, but - it’ll be rough. And we won’t be able to go anywhere else until the repairs are finished - I wanted to take Janie to Martha for a check-up, but the parts I’ll need are on Fespa, and it could take a while-"
Rose rested her hand on the Doctor’s chest, lightly, and without even thinking, pushed her thoughts over his. She could sense the frantic pace his mind was setting, running in circles, making lists, cross-checking others, spinning so madly Rose wondered how he kept track of anything.
“Doctor," she said gently, and tried to settle her own sense of calm over him. His thoughts did not stop, but his hands did, and one of them left the connections to take hers, wrapping his fingers around her palm. “It’s all right. Make the TARDIS better, and we’ll all be fine.”
The Doctor smiled at her. "You’re too good for me.”
“Someday you’ll catch up," she teased him, and he pulled his hand away to snap the last connection in place.
The console room filled with the resounding and reverberating sounds of bells, whistles, and whoops. The deep ring of the cloisters overpowered all of this, and the Doctor scrambled up with an excited shout.
“Oh yeah!" The Doctor’s delight spread across his face, and overcome with relief and excitement, he grabbed Rose and spun her around. Rose was dizzy with laughter when he set her down again, and he fell on the control panel, throwing the levers and dials to mark their destination, before sprinting to the view screen. “Rose, are the kids strapped in?"
“Yes, we’re ready."
"Good, we’re going as soon as the coordinates are set." The Doctor pulled out the keyboard began typing furiously, when suddenly the blood drained from his face.
"Rose, when did you last check your mobile?"
Rose frowned and dug into her pocket. “This morning - no. Yesterday morning?" She frowned. “That can’t be right - I’ve been ringing Mum much more often than that recently.”
The Doctor didn’t reply; he simply spun the view screen so that Rose could see it from where she stood, just in time to see the blinking numbers, line after line of missed calls to the TARDIS console room.
The voice of Martha Jones, calm and serious, filled the room. "Doctor, I need you to ring me-"
Martha’s voice was overlapped by another voice; that of Sarah Jane Smith. "Doctor, this is Sarah Jane, either you or Rose should ring me soon as you can…."
A third voice. “Doc - this is Jack. Call me."
Martha again, more worried than before. "Doctor? Something’s got to be wrong - you’ve never gone this long...."
Jack. "Doc, Rose, me again. Please call me."
Jack. "Doc, I’m serious. It’s about the crossroads."
Jack. "Dammit, Doctor, you can ignore Martha and Sarah Jane, but get your ass back here because something’s going wrong with the crossroads."
Rose’s eyes widened, staring at the Doctor. Her hearts might have been beating, as she could feel the pumping in her ears, but the entire world was bathed in ice.
"Rose,” said the Doctor, "check your mobile."
She had forgotten she held it; Rose flipped it open: six missed calls.
“Martha," said Rose shakily, "and Sarah Jane. And Jack. And..." Her breath caught. "Mickey."
The Doctor snapped to action. He threw the circuitry levers and dials as he set a new destination. Rose stood still, unable to watch him, unable to say a word. She could only stare at her mobile screen, the little blinking light next to Mickey Smith’s name, indicating a missed call. She did not wonder why he’d called, though Mickey hadn’t rung in years. There was only one reason Mickey could have called her. Rose was almost afraid to look, but she had to do it; she lifted the wrist with her superwatch and pressed the button, and gasped.
"Doctor - it’s been five days."
"Rose?"
"For my mother. Five days have gone by for my mother since I rang her last."
The Doctor stopped his frantic work and stood in front of Rose, taking her by the shoulders. "Rose - look at me." She did, eyes full of regret and fear. "We’re going to London. As close to the crossroads as I can get.”
“But the TARDIS - her strut-"
“Never mind that, Rose. You’re going to call your mum from the crossroads. Everything’s going to be fine."
"But why would Mickey call unless-"
"No, Rose," said the Doctor firmly. "You must believe me. Everything will be all right."
She nodded, still not believing him, and he gently pushed her to sit on the nearby jump seat before returning to the frantic pace around the console.
For Rose, the moments went by in a haze. She didn’t remember the trip, though she felt every whimper and wriggle from the babies on the far side of the room. She watched the Doctor in his solitary motions as if she were watching a faraway dance, appreciating the beauty of his movements but not feeling particularly moved by them. She didn’t feel the soft bump of landing, and it was only when the Doctor took her hand and pulled her off the jump seat that she realized they’d arrived at all.
“I’ll be back in a moment,” the Doctor told the children as he pushed Rose towards the door, and Dex nodded, unable to speak for fear, his lip trembling.
They were in London, just on the edge of the still crumbled remains of Torchwood Tower. The sky was overcast and gray, threatening rain at any moment. A faint blue glow was visible in the center of the ruins, and Rose took several hesitant steps toward it, hardly able to remain upright on the rocky ground.
“Doctor!” she called out, uncertain. “The crossroads - it’s glowing.”
The Doctor surged ahead of her. “Call your mother," he called over his shoulder. “I’m going to look at the crossroads."
Her fingers shook so badly, Rose wasn’t sure how she managed to press the right buttons. With all her heart, she wanted to hear Jackie answer. The phone rang once, and Rose held her breath.
The phone rang a second time, and she closed her eyes in fear.
The phone rang a third time, and when Rose heard the click that signaled a connection, she opened her eyes again, desperately scanning the sky.
It was Mickey Smith who answered. "Rose," he said, and no more. Rose couldn’t speak. She closed her eyes again, feeling her shoulders begin to heave, her dual hearts begin to contract. This was different, pain and sorrow doubled. This was worse, a thousand times so, than when she’d stood against the solid white wall in the other Canary Wharf, another lifetime, another body, another world ago.
"Rose," Mickey repeated. "Are you there? Can you hear me?"
“Mickey? It’s...Mum, isn’t it?" Her eyes were stinging; they were on fire, and she opened them, desperate for cool air. The Doctor was just in view, so close to the crossroads that he was bathed in the blue light, otherworldly and ghost-like.
"I’m sorry, Rose," said Mickey.
Rose’s breath caught. “I...how?"
“Two days ago. It was peaceful, Rose. She was asleep, the doctors say she didn’t suffer."
Her breath caught. “Two days ago?"
“Yes. I called your mobile.”
"There was something wrong with the TARDIS; I never got the messages. I should have thought - I should have been prepared. I knew she was ill, but-"
"It took all of us by surprise, Rose," said Mickey, without being the least bit accusatory.
Rose swallowed, desperately wishing the Doctor would stop scanning the crossroads with the sonic screwdriver and come back to her. “Is - is Pete okay? And the twins?"
Mickey hesitated, and his voice was oddly high when he answered. “Pete?"
“He’s got to be devastated."
“Rose...Pete is....god, Rose, I’m sorry. Didn’t Jackie ever tell you? I shouldn’t be the one to tell you this. Not all of it."
Rose closed her eyes, briefly. "I-"
“The funeral is tomorrow,” said Mickey. “They’ll be next to each other, by Donald’s pond in the back garden. It was what Jackie wanted. She said - she said she talked to you there. She wished she could talk to you one last time, Rose. She loved you so much."
Rose’s throat constricted. She had thought there would be tears - but instead, her eyes were dry. Her chest hurt terribly, and her fingers went numb, as though they’d lost all blood flow. She kept her focus on the Doctor, still encased in blue glow, now frowning at the crossroads, and looking around the area.
"Mickey-"
“Rose, I have to go,” said Mickey. “I’m sorry. The wake is about to start, and Martha is waiting for me. Call me, when it’s over - we can talk then. There’s more I have to tell you."
Rose nodded. “Yes. I will."
“Rose...you’ll be all right?"
“Oh, me. I’ll be fine," said Rose, not sounding fine at all, but the static began to creep into the conversation again, and Rose wanted to scream for the line to keep clear.
“Love you, Rose,” said Mickey, and the static took over.
Rose stared at the mobile for a moment, unable to swallow, before looking up to see the Doctor straighten, looking over at her.
"Rose?" he called out.
"Doctor,” whispered Rose, unable to speak, and she could sense the purple haze of his thoughts reach toward her, worried. She reached to him, but she was so distraught that she couldn’t control the speed, and the moment her turquoise thoughts overlapped with his, the Doctor lost his balance on the rocky ground, and fell - backwards, his arms flailing out, directly into the crossroads, which sparked a brighter blue before closing over him, as if he’d never existed at all.
Rose pushed her mind out as far as she could, desperate to feel something that was the least bit familiar, some sense of the Doctor’s comfortable purple self.
There was nothing.
The TARDIS was broken. The children were strapped inside. Her mother was dead. She couldn’t call Mickey until the crossroads reset itself, and the Doctor was gone.
The Doctor was gone.
Rose closed her phone, the snap echoing in the sudden expanse of quiet, filled only by the rush of her blood in her ears.
The Doctor was gone.
Rose wrapped her arms over her head, unable to bear the silence, and began to scream.
Jump to Chapter Ten