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[azriona]

 don't think just post

Cleo died at the end of March.

I wanted to write about her last week - it was a hell of a week, for a lot of reasons, and I had - have - a hell of a lot of emotions/guilt about it, for a lot of reasons. But it's almost six weeks later, and I still can't face sitting down and writing about it. I still keep her collar and tag in

Comments

[talloakslady]

You've been in my thoughts a lot recently. Holding on to Cleo's things is normal and it hurts to put them away. I'm glad you have your office to keep her close to your heart. Guilt, now that is the tough part because I still feel terrible guilt over Gabby, Plum, Trevor and Errol and will occasionally cry about them and how much I miss them. Your sorrow is your sorrow and it can never be compared with anyone else's, if that make sense. No, Cleo wasn't 'just a cat' she was a big part of your life a part of your family.
I remember your friend, shit I forget her name right now, who said to me, 'I just don't 'get' pets.' I was astounded that she'd never had the unconditional love of a pet. You know? I may love a lot of people but my cats take me for what I truly am.
I have whiskers from all the cats I've had that I want with me when I am scattered someday.
I am sorry about Bill's father. I was surprised when he mentioned Linda--if it was politic of him to do that or not.
I miss you very much, Sharon.

[azriona]

Oh, that is such a good idea about the whiskers! I know I have some of Cleo's somewhere - or I think I do. I have a bit of her fur tucked away, but I'm not sure where I would have put the whiskers.

I still remember sleeping on your couch and waking up to Trevor glaring at me. LOL. And Errol! Fattest cat ever, he was so nice to squish. And didn't hate me, so that was a bonus.

Okay, I admit - I have no idea who it was who said that! Now I'm wondering, because I think most of our friends do have pets... do you remember anything else about them?

I miss you tons. Stupid pandemic, we were supposed to be sitting together in a cafe ogling European men by now....

[talloakslady]

I agree we should be ogling European men! She helped me buy the threads for your cross stitches and had a place at Dupont Circle. I still have a reel to reel tape with my Gabby's meow. You never stop missing them. What I did, for my mother when she was cremated was to give them three letters: one from my father (I did not read it but had seen another where he'd told her she was the love of his life, one from Leslie and one from me). It comforted that we were all there, if that makes sense.
But my cats will be with me--wrote it into my will.

[teikachikata]

I’m so sorry to hear about your losses. Both of them are devastating. Take all the time you need to grieve. No one can tell you how long that should take. I lost my Saber 6 years ago and I still mourn him.

Btw, I always thought that Cleo was the most beautiful cat.

[azriona]

She was, wasn't she? Everyone who met her always said so. Cantankerous and ornery at the end, but beautiful. Thank you.

I tell Charlie, we'll miss her for the rest of our lives. But it'll get easier, and the next cat won't replace her, it'll just be the next cat.