Comments | ayumi_nb: Cookies for Harry Potter

ayumi_nb

Cookies for Harry Potter

Nov 07, 2009 23:15

Cookies, cookies for you all!!

Yeah, anyway, I'm working on a lot of fics, from a lot of fandoms (Digimon, Twilight, Narnia, Harry Potter, etc), but since I'm only progressing with the HP ones, I bring this little fragments from two fics I'm currently working on.

-

Title: "A Matter of Names"
Rating: PG (this fragment)
Words: 1,083
Characters: ( Read more... )

ff: harry potter - au, ship: ron/hermione, ff: aus, fandom: harry potter, character: harry j. potter, character: hermione j. granger, character: ginny m. weasley, ship: harry/hermione, ff: chaptered fics, ship: harry/ginny, ff: oneshots, rating: pg-13, ff: harry potter - dh, character: ron b. weasley, rating: pg, ff: harry potter - ewe

Comments 4

wolfraven80 November 8 2009, 04:07:32 UTC

I only had time to read the first one this evening but I like it. It's been ages - years! - since I read HP fic of any sort due to my disenchantment with the fandom after book six. But this was very cute and it made me smile.

I noticed some typos. Do you normally want that sort of feedback? Let me know if you just want overall comments; if that's the case I won't nitpick next time.

the myriad of random-> you can omit the "of"

Ginny scowled at her, and then stormed off the local-> Two things here. 1) I think you mean "locale" and 2) It sounds a bit awkward; maybe something like "stormed off the scene" instead?

The following days where a pain-> were

It’s been a week, and Lavender and Parvati are yet-> have yet

And Ginny is still being a immature brat.-> an immature

On a more general note...

Her idea of a big happy family
Ha-ha. A big happy Weasley family. Ah canon! How you disappointed me!

Oh speak of the devil: One Big Happy Family… More like One Big Happy Weasley Family.I like the little reference to fandom there. It really ( ... )

ayumi_nb November 8 2009, 04:15:42 UTC

Aye! Thank you! for pointing out the typos, I really appreciate it! You see, english is not my native language, so I can't pick mistakes as easily as I do when writting in spanish.

Also, since I only have some free time to write at night... well, I tend to overlook some things.

That said, thanks for your comment, fic/plot wise. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

musicffyou November 8 2009, 07:21:48 UTC

this two stories where really really good. I like how they both have an open ended ending. cant wait to read more of your work :D

ayumi_nb November 8 2009, 15:33:23 UTC

Thanks, and these weren't the whole stories, only snippets.