FIC: Destined (Arthur/Merlin, PG)
Title: Destined
Author: ayane_tsurugi
Rating: PG
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin
Word Count: ~3400
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are the property of Mr. Capps, the Beeb, etc. I make no money from my efforts here; I’m just playing around.
Warnings: Violence (nothing worse than the show), Canon AU set sometime after Series One.
Summary: Based on this kinkme_merlin prompt: when Arthur was little he was told his soulmate was a boy named Emrys, when he grew older he started looking for him but could not find him. Merlin loves Arthur but Arthur rejected him because he won’t be unfaithful to Emrys.
Author’s Notes: Written as an attempt to get out of a writing funk. I guess it worked? For kate0404, who told me to man up and de-anon. All mistakes are mine, point me at any typos, and feedback is love!
Arthur Pendragon was just turned six the first time the Great Dragon told him that he had a Destiny.
“What does that mean?” he asked, insatiable curiosity overwhelming the nervousness he’d felt at sneaking past the sleeping guards only to come face-to-face with a dragon.
“It means, young prince, that your life follows a path. And no matter how you try to walk in other directions, you’ll always end up back on the same road.”
And Arthur didn’t know what that meant either, but he didn’t want to just stand there saying nothing, so he said, “You’re really very large.”
The dragon chuckled. “Yes, I suppose I am.”
***
“If you just wanted to get out of the castle for the day, I don’t see why you couldn’t have gone by yourself,” Merlin grumbled. There was a grunt as he tripped over another root and the weight of the bags strapped to his back nearly made him tumble to the ground.
Arthur would probably feel worse about that if Merlin’s complaining hadn’t been scaring off every eligible piece of game in the forest since they’d ventured out that morning.
“You’re my servant, Merlin, in case you’ve forgotten. If I want you to come along and carry the packs and make a general nuisance of yourself to the detriment of my success, then along you shall come.” Merlin huffed his opinion of that, but said nothing, and Arthur frowned.
If he was honest with himself, and he tried not to be too often on the matter of Merlin, this trip wasn’t entirely about getting away from the castle for a day. In truth, when he’d told Merlin that he was to accompany him today, all he’d really been hoping for was Merlin not to get Gaius to beg off for him on the pretense of needing his help.
Things had been…strained with Merlin the past fortnight, and he just wanted them back to normal. He wanted Merlin to fight him on things again, for their time together to be easy, like it was supposed to be.
Especially since he knew - and this was where the honesty bit got annoying - that the strain was all his own fault.
A twig snapped loud beneath Merlin’s feet and the crack echoed through the trees. Arthur sighed.
“Right, that’s it, we’re stopping for lunch. Perhaps you’ll be less incompetent after you’ve eaten something.” Merlin glared at him, but gratefully dropped the packs to the ground and dug out the food he’d retrieved from the kitchens that morning. He passed half of it wordlessly to Arthur.
Arthur sighed again. It was going to be a long afternoon.
***
After his first visit to the dragon, Arthur went to see him as often as he could. This generally meant whenever his nurse would sneak down to the kitchens for leftover wine or stumble exhaustedly back to her own chambers rather than staying to make sure he went to sleep at the end of the night, which happened two or three times a week if he was being “particularly trying.”
Every time he would sneak past the guards, who were really rather stupid, and sit on the jut of stone leading out into the cavernous dungeon. He would ask questions and the dragon would answer in ways that weren’t really answering at all, but sounded wise enough that they could pretend.
Through the next several months of night-time visits and unanswered questions, the dragon only said one other thing about his Destiny:
“You are not meant to walk this path alone, my young prince. You must find your other half, the second side to your coin. You must find the one called Emrys.”
***
They ate their lunch in complete silence, Merlin’s eyes fixed on the ground in front of the log they rested on and Arthur’s gaze resting alternately on a nearby tree and one of Merlin’s boots.
The unsteadiness between them had gone on for far too long. And Arthur had never claimed to the best at feelings or talking, so the tension just left him frustrated - at Merlin, at himself, at Destiny - and with no idea what to do other than to shout “Talk to me, you great lout!” which he suspected would likely be counterproductive.
It had started, of course, with a feast, too much wine, Merlin’s drunken lips crushed against his own, and what could too easily have been a declaration of love if Arthur hadn’t beaten a hasty retreat from Gaius’ chambers, demanding they never speak of it again. He’d hoped against hope that Merlin would forget the entire thing, but when he showed up the next morning with Arthur’s breakfast later than usual and clutching his head, refusing to look Arthur in the eye, it was obvious he remembered every second.
He’d tried to bring it up once - it was Merlin, of course he had - but Arthur had pointedly feigned ignorance until Merlin said, small and sad, “I just thought…sorry,” and ducked out the door.
Guilt ate at him for a long time after that, was still eating at him, and the disapproving glare he got from Gwen before she caught herself and looked away didn’t help.
It wasn’t that he was against the idea of being with Merlin. In another moment of unwanted honesty, he would be forced to admit having considered it from time to time himself - much more often than a Prince should consider the elegant hands, full lips, and fierce loyalty of his manservant. It wasn’t even that Merlin was his servant. They’d proven time and time again that their relationship - more like a friendship than anything else Arthur had ever experienced - was much more complicated than that.
And perhaps it was that friendship that held Arthur back as much as anything else. How could he allow something to happen with Merlin, and with Merlin it would never just be a one-night arrangement, when he knew that he was meant for another? When he’d known that as long as he could remember?
Even if he hadn’t found Emrys yet, it was only a matter of time. And Emrys was his soul mate. His Destiny. Allowing himself to care about someone else wasn’t fair to any of them.
The silence stretched out as they swallowed the last bites of their food and Arthur shoved himself to his feet, wiping his hands on his breeches. He grabbed the now-drained water skins from where they were resting against the log and started walking toward the stream he knew was just beyond the trees.
“Would you like me to fill them, Sire?” Merlin asked behind him, and he barely turned his head to answer.
“The last thing we need is you clomping through and scaring more of the animals away, Merlin. I’ve got it this time.”
And that was when the Druids came.
***
Arthur, of course, wanted to know everything he could about Emrys.
The dragon, of course, was not as forthcoming as Arthur commanded him to be. It took several nights of repeated questions before he gave in with a weary sigh, saying that he didn’t know much, but would tell Arthur as much as he could (Arthur suspected this was a lie, but took his victory where he could get it).
Arthur learned that Emrys was a boy much like himself, but when he grew he would be a man with great gifts, greater than mankind had ever known. He learned that Emrys, too, had a Destiny, and that Destiny was Arthur.
“Your paths lie together, young prince. You are two sides of the same coin; he is your soul mate.”
“Soul mate?” he repeated. It was a phrase he’d heard before, in the stories he would get Gaius and Geoffrey to tell him about his mother. “I’m going to have to marry a boy?” He frowned at the dragon. There was no way that could be right. “I can’t marry a boy. I have to marry a princess! Morgana said so.”
The dragon chuckled and leaned in so close that Arthur could have reached out and touched him. “You will belong to him and him only, just as he will belong to you. No matter what Morgana said.”
The dragon withdrew and crouched low, like he always did before he took off into the depths of the cave, and Arthur held out a hand. “Wait!”
“Yes?”
“You said he would have great gifts. What kind of gifts?”
Large eyes studied him for a long moment and he stood up straighter, determined to be judged worthy. Finally, the dragon spoke.
“It is said that he will be the greatest sorcerer the world has ever known.”
Arthur frowned again. “My father hates sorcerers. He says that magic is evil. I’m not evil, so why would my soul mate be evil?”
“There is more than one way to see things, Arthur Pendragon.” And with that, the dragon flew away.
***
When Arthur returned to the clearing, filled water skins in his hand, the first thing he saw was Merlin lying on the ground. His hands were bound behind his back, a dirty cloth crammed into his mouth, and his arm and forehead were smeared with blood. Two men stood over him, dressed in long cloaks. They had no weapons.
He instinctively reached for his sword, but it was missing, left on the ground next to where they’d eaten. He cursed silently and started to edge toward it, but the men noticed him before he’d taken two steps.
One of them sneered. “Ah, Prince Arthur. Here you are.” He was old, no doubt slow, and even if he was stronger than he looked it seemed impossible that he would be able to overtake Merlin, much less bind him. It was only when the man held out a hand that Arthur understood.
“What do you want?” he asked, suddenly remembering the dagger tucked into his boot. If he could just reach it and throw, he might be able…
“We came for the traitor and the one he calls master.” The man sent an amused glance at Merlin, who glared at him and made a strangled noise around the cloth gagging him. “And it seems the stories are true.” As the man nodded to his companion, Arthur made a move to reach for his boot but the man’s eyes flashed golden and he found himself frozen.
“Perhaps we will have our revenge after all, brother,” the companion said, and then Arthur’s world went dark.
***
As he grew, Arthur searched through all of Camelot for Emrys.
But even when he was old enough to join patrols to the farthest reaches of the kingdom, no one he asked in any of the outlying villages knew anything about someone called Emrys.
When he was sent on delegations into other kingdoms, he would even mention the name in villages where they stopped and with the castle’s servants, but no one could ever give him an answer.
Every few months he would make his way down to the dungeons and ask the Great Dragon if maybe, possibly, Destiny was just wrong. And every time the dragon would just shake his head and say, “Patience.”
By the time a scrawny boy came to Camelot and saved Arthur’s life, he’d stopped asking. But he never stopped waiting.
***
When he came to, he was in another clearing. His wrists and ankles were bound together with a length of rope and he was leaned against a tree. After a moment, he noticed voices coming from his left.
“What do you want with us?” And that was definitely Merlin’s voice; they must have removed his gag. Arthur kept his head down - if they knew he was awake, they might decide to move forward, and he needed time to come up with a plan.
“The Pendragons have done us a great wrong. We have come for our revenge,” another man said. “We have come to take what we are owed.” He heard Merlin make a noise somewhere between frustration and disgust.
“Honestly, you’re all the same. Let me guess, your brother? Son? Wife? If you’re going to punish Arthur for Uther’s sins, at least be original about it.”
There was a low laugh. “Ah, but it is not only Uther’s sins that need atoning for, Emrys.” Arthur’s brain stuttered on the name and he sucked in a harsh breath. “You’re a traitor to your own kind, aligning yourself with a king who kills magic users for sport, who would have you burned for no crime other than breathing on Camelot soil. Even you have the blood of your kin on your hands.”
Merlin growled. “Nimueh was no kin of mine, and Uther is not my king. Arthur is the only king I will ever serve.” Arthur’s mind reeled. Merlin was Emrys? Merlin had killed someone? Merlin was a sorcerer? “And how many times do I have to tell you people, my name is Merlin.”
“How can you believe that the son will be any better than the father? Especially, Emrys, when you yourself hide the truth from him. Do you know for certain that he would show you mercy? You have been his most loyal subject, willing to kill for him and die for him, but do you know if he would see you killed for the magic that’s simmered beneath your skin since the moment you were born?” An image flashed in his thoughts of Merlin’s head on the chopping block, the executioner’s axe poised and ready to strike, and his stomach churned. No, there was no way he would see Merlin dead, by his father’s hand or anyone else’s. Leaning forward as slowly as he could, he inched his fingertips down the length of his breeches and into the top of his left boot, where the dagger was still held.
There was a short silence, followed by laughter. “You love him!”
Another growl ripped from Merlin’s throat. “Stay out of my head.”
“I hardly needed to delve in very far. It is there so plainly you may as well have it written across your forehead for the world to see. You are powerful, Emrys, there is no doubt of that, but you are also a fool. That will be your undoing.”
The dagger free, Arthur finally lifted his head and looked over at Merlin. Merlin’s eyes widened almost imperceptibly when he saw the movement, but Arthur shook his head. The sorcerer standing over him was facing away from Arthur, his companion out of sight. He sliced cleanly through the rope around his ankles, and then secured the dagger with his feet so that he could free his wrists as well.
“You know,” Merlin said, keeping the sorcerer’s attention, “you all claim to have this knowledge of my destiny and my powers, but you don’t know anything about me.” Arthur rose quietly to his feet and crept up behind the man. Merlin met his eyes. “And you don’t know anything about Arthur either.” He started to turn, but Arthur was already there, and he plunged the dagger deep into the sorcerer’s side. The old man crumpled to the ground, unconscious and bleeding.
Merlin let out a shaky breath, and the look in his eyes was part terror, part open resignation. Everything crashed in on Arthur again; Merlin had magic, Merlin had killed for him, Merlin would have died for him, Merlin was Emrys. Merlin was his soul mate. Merlin loved him, and he’d turned him down.
“Arthur.” Merlin’s voice was a fierce whisper, his eyes glancing at something over Arthur’s shoulder. “Cut me free.”
Arthur rushed to obey, and then Merlin’s arm was stretched in front of him, his eyes glowing gold. He whispered words in a harsh language Arthur didn’t understand, and a second later he heard a thump behind him. He didn’t have to turn around to know that the form of the companion was now lying prone on the forest floor.
Arthur’s eyes met Merlin’s for a long moment before he reached out a hand. Merlin accepted it, and Arthur pulled him to his feet. “You’re a sorcerer,” he said. It was a stupid thing to say, not appropriate for all the things running through his head at all, but it was all he could get out.
Merlin let out a slightly hysterical laugh. “Yeah. I am.”
Arthur nodded. “Right.” And then, because there was really nothing else left to do, he stepped forward into Merlin’s space and kissed him.
Merlin stayed still for several moments, long enough for Arthur to consider stepping back, before he sighed against Arthur’s lips and began to respond. Merlin’s lips were dry and cracked, and he knew his were no better, but as they slid together and Merlin’s hand came up to rest on his neck, it was easily the best kiss he’d ever shared.
Merlin placed a lingering kiss on his bottom lip before breaking them apart and resting his forehead against Arthur’s. “What was that for?”
Arthur ran his tongue over his lips, tasting Merlin there now. “You love me.”
Merlin hummed, pressing another light kiss to Arthur’s mouth before stepping back against the tree he’d been leaned on before. “I loved you two weeks ago as well.”
“I know,” Arthur said. “Things were more…complicated then. I thought there was someone else.” Merlin’s expression turned pained, and Arthur winced. “No, no, not like that. It was you; you’re the other person.”
Merlin stared at him. “What?”
Arthur rubbed a hand over his face. “It’s…there’s someone else who could explain this better than I could, except he probably wouldn’t, because he mostly just talks in circles-”
Merlin snorted. “Big guy, a bit scaly, lives under the castle and spouts riddles about Destiny?” Arthur nodded again, surprised. “Yeah, we’ve met.”
Arthur laughed. He didn’t know why he was surprised, really. “Of course you have. He’s been telling me that I have a soul mate named Emrys since I was six. And I knew if I let myself start something with you, even though I wanted to, it could never be uncomplicated. I didn’t want to give myself the chance to fall in love with you because it felt like I was being…unfaithful. To Emrys.”
Merlin stared for another long moment. “Let me get this straight. You wouldn’t allow yourself to fall in love with me, because that would mean being unfaithful to…me.” A bright grin spread across his face. “You’re an idiot.”
Arthur scowled. “This is entirely your fault, you know. This wouldn’t have been a problem if you just had one name like everyone else.” Merlin started to laugh and Arthur stepped forward, kissing him back into silence and taking advantage of his open mouth to slip his tongue inside.
When they pulled apart again, they were both breathless. “We should probably get out of here,” Merlin said. “I’m not sure how long it’ll take them to wake up, but they probably know healing magic.”
“We should take them back to Camelot,” Arthur said, knowing even as he said it that they wouldn’t.
Merlin shook his head. “If they come for us again, they come. But if you show them mercy, perhaps they’ll begin to understand that you’re not your father.”
Arthur nodded once and turned around, taking in their surroundings fully for the first time. He couldn’t see castle turrets anywhere in the distance. “I don’t suppose you know where we are.”
“I think I can get us home,” Merlin said simply, and when Arthur turned back to him there was a blue ball of light sitting in Merlin’s hand. He stared at it, shocked, as several things that had never made much sense clicked into place in his mind.
“Of course it was you,” he marveled, and Merlin quirked an eyebrow at him.
“What was me?”
Arthur grinned. “Nevermind. Now come along, Merlin. And put that thing out before we get too close. We can’t have anyone else seeing.”
Merlin returned the grin with a brilliant one of his own. “But you don’t mind?”
“No, Merlin, I don’t mind.”
***
That night, after Merlin had fallen asleep, Arthur slipped out of bed and made his way through the castle.
“You could have told me,” he shouted into the darkness of the cave.
And as he spun around, intent to go curl up next to Merlin once again, he swore he heard a chuckle echoing out from the shadows.
Author: ayane_tsurugi
Rating: PG
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin
Word Count: ~3400
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are the property of Mr. Capps, the Beeb, etc. I make no money from my efforts here; I’m just playing around.
Warnings: Violence (nothing worse than the show), Canon AU set sometime after Series One.
Summary: Based on this kinkme_merlin prompt: when Arthur was little he was told his soulmate was a boy named Emrys, when he grew older he started looking for him but could not find him. Merlin loves Arthur but Arthur rejected him because he won’t be unfaithful to Emrys.
Author’s Notes: Written as an attempt to get out of a writing funk. I guess it worked? For kate0404, who told me to man up and de-anon. All mistakes are mine, point me at any typos, and feedback is love!
Arthur Pendragon was just turned six the first time the Great Dragon told him that he had a Destiny.
“What does that mean?” he asked, insatiable curiosity overwhelming the nervousness he’d felt at sneaking past the sleeping guards only to come face-to-face with a dragon.
“It means, young prince, that your life follows a path. And no matter how you try to walk in other directions, you’ll always end up back on the same road.”
And Arthur didn’t know what that meant either, but he didn’t want to just stand there saying nothing, so he said, “You’re really very large.”
The dragon chuckled. “Yes, I suppose I am.”
***
“If you just wanted to get out of the castle for the day, I don’t see why you couldn’t have gone by yourself,” Merlin grumbled. There was a grunt as he tripped over another root and the weight of the bags strapped to his back nearly made him tumble to the ground.
Arthur would probably feel worse about that if Merlin’s complaining hadn’t been scaring off every eligible piece of game in the forest since they’d ventured out that morning.
“You’re my servant, Merlin, in case you’ve forgotten. If I want you to come along and carry the packs and make a general nuisance of yourself to the detriment of my success, then along you shall come.” Merlin huffed his opinion of that, but said nothing, and Arthur frowned.
If he was honest with himself, and he tried not to be too often on the matter of Merlin, this trip wasn’t entirely about getting away from the castle for a day. In truth, when he’d told Merlin that he was to accompany him today, all he’d really been hoping for was Merlin not to get Gaius to beg off for him on the pretense of needing his help.
Things had been…strained with Merlin the past fortnight, and he just wanted them back to normal. He wanted Merlin to fight him on things again, for their time together to be easy, like it was supposed to be.
Especially since he knew - and this was where the honesty bit got annoying - that the strain was all his own fault.
A twig snapped loud beneath Merlin’s feet and the crack echoed through the trees. Arthur sighed.
“Right, that’s it, we’re stopping for lunch. Perhaps you’ll be less incompetent after you’ve eaten something.” Merlin glared at him, but gratefully dropped the packs to the ground and dug out the food he’d retrieved from the kitchens that morning. He passed half of it wordlessly to Arthur.
Arthur sighed again. It was going to be a long afternoon.
***
After his first visit to the dragon, Arthur went to see him as often as he could. This generally meant whenever his nurse would sneak down to the kitchens for leftover wine or stumble exhaustedly back to her own chambers rather than staying to make sure he went to sleep at the end of the night, which happened two or three times a week if he was being “particularly trying.”
Every time he would sneak past the guards, who were really rather stupid, and sit on the jut of stone leading out into the cavernous dungeon. He would ask questions and the dragon would answer in ways that weren’t really answering at all, but sounded wise enough that they could pretend.
Through the next several months of night-time visits and unanswered questions, the dragon only said one other thing about his Destiny:
“You are not meant to walk this path alone, my young prince. You must find your other half, the second side to your coin. You must find the one called Emrys.”
***
They ate their lunch in complete silence, Merlin’s eyes fixed on the ground in front of the log they rested on and Arthur’s gaze resting alternately on a nearby tree and one of Merlin’s boots.
The unsteadiness between them had gone on for far too long. And Arthur had never claimed to the best at feelings or talking, so the tension just left him frustrated - at Merlin, at himself, at Destiny - and with no idea what to do other than to shout “Talk to me, you great lout!” which he suspected would likely be counterproductive.
It had started, of course, with a feast, too much wine, Merlin’s drunken lips crushed against his own, and what could too easily have been a declaration of love if Arthur hadn’t beaten a hasty retreat from Gaius’ chambers, demanding they never speak of it again. He’d hoped against hope that Merlin would forget the entire thing, but when he showed up the next morning with Arthur’s breakfast later than usual and clutching his head, refusing to look Arthur in the eye, it was obvious he remembered every second.
He’d tried to bring it up once - it was Merlin, of course he had - but Arthur had pointedly feigned ignorance until Merlin said, small and sad, “I just thought…sorry,” and ducked out the door.
Guilt ate at him for a long time after that, was still eating at him, and the disapproving glare he got from Gwen before she caught herself and looked away didn’t help.
It wasn’t that he was against the idea of being with Merlin. In another moment of unwanted honesty, he would be forced to admit having considered it from time to time himself - much more often than a Prince should consider the elegant hands, full lips, and fierce loyalty of his manservant. It wasn’t even that Merlin was his servant. They’d proven time and time again that their relationship - more like a friendship than anything else Arthur had ever experienced - was much more complicated than that.
And perhaps it was that friendship that held Arthur back as much as anything else. How could he allow something to happen with Merlin, and with Merlin it would never just be a one-night arrangement, when he knew that he was meant for another? When he’d known that as long as he could remember?
Even if he hadn’t found Emrys yet, it was only a matter of time. And Emrys was his soul mate. His Destiny. Allowing himself to care about someone else wasn’t fair to any of them.
The silence stretched out as they swallowed the last bites of their food and Arthur shoved himself to his feet, wiping his hands on his breeches. He grabbed the now-drained water skins from where they were resting against the log and started walking toward the stream he knew was just beyond the trees.
“Would you like me to fill them, Sire?” Merlin asked behind him, and he barely turned his head to answer.
“The last thing we need is you clomping through and scaring more of the animals away, Merlin. I’ve got it this time.”
And that was when the Druids came.
***
Arthur, of course, wanted to know everything he could about Emrys.
The dragon, of course, was not as forthcoming as Arthur commanded him to be. It took several nights of repeated questions before he gave in with a weary sigh, saying that he didn’t know much, but would tell Arthur as much as he could (Arthur suspected this was a lie, but took his victory where he could get it).
Arthur learned that Emrys was a boy much like himself, but when he grew he would be a man with great gifts, greater than mankind had ever known. He learned that Emrys, too, had a Destiny, and that Destiny was Arthur.
“Your paths lie together, young prince. You are two sides of the same coin; he is your soul mate.”
“Soul mate?” he repeated. It was a phrase he’d heard before, in the stories he would get Gaius and Geoffrey to tell him about his mother. “I’m going to have to marry a boy?” He frowned at the dragon. There was no way that could be right. “I can’t marry a boy. I have to marry a princess! Morgana said so.”
The dragon chuckled and leaned in so close that Arthur could have reached out and touched him. “You will belong to him and him only, just as he will belong to you. No matter what Morgana said.”
The dragon withdrew and crouched low, like he always did before he took off into the depths of the cave, and Arthur held out a hand. “Wait!”
“Yes?”
“You said he would have great gifts. What kind of gifts?”
Large eyes studied him for a long moment and he stood up straighter, determined to be judged worthy. Finally, the dragon spoke.
“It is said that he will be the greatest sorcerer the world has ever known.”
Arthur frowned again. “My father hates sorcerers. He says that magic is evil. I’m not evil, so why would my soul mate be evil?”
“There is more than one way to see things, Arthur Pendragon.” And with that, the dragon flew away.
***
When Arthur returned to the clearing, filled water skins in his hand, the first thing he saw was Merlin lying on the ground. His hands were bound behind his back, a dirty cloth crammed into his mouth, and his arm and forehead were smeared with blood. Two men stood over him, dressed in long cloaks. They had no weapons.
He instinctively reached for his sword, but it was missing, left on the ground next to where they’d eaten. He cursed silently and started to edge toward it, but the men noticed him before he’d taken two steps.
One of them sneered. “Ah, Prince Arthur. Here you are.” He was old, no doubt slow, and even if he was stronger than he looked it seemed impossible that he would be able to overtake Merlin, much less bind him. It was only when the man held out a hand that Arthur understood.
“What do you want?” he asked, suddenly remembering the dagger tucked into his boot. If he could just reach it and throw, he might be able…
“We came for the traitor and the one he calls master.” The man sent an amused glance at Merlin, who glared at him and made a strangled noise around the cloth gagging him. “And it seems the stories are true.” As the man nodded to his companion, Arthur made a move to reach for his boot but the man’s eyes flashed golden and he found himself frozen.
“Perhaps we will have our revenge after all, brother,” the companion said, and then Arthur’s world went dark.
***
As he grew, Arthur searched through all of Camelot for Emrys.
But even when he was old enough to join patrols to the farthest reaches of the kingdom, no one he asked in any of the outlying villages knew anything about someone called Emrys.
When he was sent on delegations into other kingdoms, he would even mention the name in villages where they stopped and with the castle’s servants, but no one could ever give him an answer.
Every few months he would make his way down to the dungeons and ask the Great Dragon if maybe, possibly, Destiny was just wrong. And every time the dragon would just shake his head and say, “Patience.”
By the time a scrawny boy came to Camelot and saved Arthur’s life, he’d stopped asking. But he never stopped waiting.
***
When he came to, he was in another clearing. His wrists and ankles were bound together with a length of rope and he was leaned against a tree. After a moment, he noticed voices coming from his left.
“What do you want with us?” And that was definitely Merlin’s voice; they must have removed his gag. Arthur kept his head down - if they knew he was awake, they might decide to move forward, and he needed time to come up with a plan.
“The Pendragons have done us a great wrong. We have come for our revenge,” another man said. “We have come to take what we are owed.” He heard Merlin make a noise somewhere between frustration and disgust.
“Honestly, you’re all the same. Let me guess, your brother? Son? Wife? If you’re going to punish Arthur for Uther’s sins, at least be original about it.”
There was a low laugh. “Ah, but it is not only Uther’s sins that need atoning for, Emrys.” Arthur’s brain stuttered on the name and he sucked in a harsh breath. “You’re a traitor to your own kind, aligning yourself with a king who kills magic users for sport, who would have you burned for no crime other than breathing on Camelot soil. Even you have the blood of your kin on your hands.”
Merlin growled. “Nimueh was no kin of mine, and Uther is not my king. Arthur is the only king I will ever serve.” Arthur’s mind reeled. Merlin was Emrys? Merlin had killed someone? Merlin was a sorcerer? “And how many times do I have to tell you people, my name is Merlin.”
“How can you believe that the son will be any better than the father? Especially, Emrys, when you yourself hide the truth from him. Do you know for certain that he would show you mercy? You have been his most loyal subject, willing to kill for him and die for him, but do you know if he would see you killed for the magic that’s simmered beneath your skin since the moment you were born?” An image flashed in his thoughts of Merlin’s head on the chopping block, the executioner’s axe poised and ready to strike, and his stomach churned. No, there was no way he would see Merlin dead, by his father’s hand or anyone else’s. Leaning forward as slowly as he could, he inched his fingertips down the length of his breeches and into the top of his left boot, where the dagger was still held.
There was a short silence, followed by laughter. “You love him!”
Another growl ripped from Merlin’s throat. “Stay out of my head.”
“I hardly needed to delve in very far. It is there so plainly you may as well have it written across your forehead for the world to see. You are powerful, Emrys, there is no doubt of that, but you are also a fool. That will be your undoing.”
The dagger free, Arthur finally lifted his head and looked over at Merlin. Merlin’s eyes widened almost imperceptibly when he saw the movement, but Arthur shook his head. The sorcerer standing over him was facing away from Arthur, his companion out of sight. He sliced cleanly through the rope around his ankles, and then secured the dagger with his feet so that he could free his wrists as well.
“You know,” Merlin said, keeping the sorcerer’s attention, “you all claim to have this knowledge of my destiny and my powers, but you don’t know anything about me.” Arthur rose quietly to his feet and crept up behind the man. Merlin met his eyes. “And you don’t know anything about Arthur either.” He started to turn, but Arthur was already there, and he plunged the dagger deep into the sorcerer’s side. The old man crumpled to the ground, unconscious and bleeding.
Merlin let out a shaky breath, and the look in his eyes was part terror, part open resignation. Everything crashed in on Arthur again; Merlin had magic, Merlin had killed for him, Merlin would have died for him, Merlin was Emrys. Merlin was his soul mate. Merlin loved him, and he’d turned him down.
“Arthur.” Merlin’s voice was a fierce whisper, his eyes glancing at something over Arthur’s shoulder. “Cut me free.”
Arthur rushed to obey, and then Merlin’s arm was stretched in front of him, his eyes glowing gold. He whispered words in a harsh language Arthur didn’t understand, and a second later he heard a thump behind him. He didn’t have to turn around to know that the form of the companion was now lying prone on the forest floor.
Arthur’s eyes met Merlin’s for a long moment before he reached out a hand. Merlin accepted it, and Arthur pulled him to his feet. “You’re a sorcerer,” he said. It was a stupid thing to say, not appropriate for all the things running through his head at all, but it was all he could get out.
Merlin let out a slightly hysterical laugh. “Yeah. I am.”
Arthur nodded. “Right.” And then, because there was really nothing else left to do, he stepped forward into Merlin’s space and kissed him.
Merlin stayed still for several moments, long enough for Arthur to consider stepping back, before he sighed against Arthur’s lips and began to respond. Merlin’s lips were dry and cracked, and he knew his were no better, but as they slid together and Merlin’s hand came up to rest on his neck, it was easily the best kiss he’d ever shared.
Merlin placed a lingering kiss on his bottom lip before breaking them apart and resting his forehead against Arthur’s. “What was that for?”
Arthur ran his tongue over his lips, tasting Merlin there now. “You love me.”
Merlin hummed, pressing another light kiss to Arthur’s mouth before stepping back against the tree he’d been leaned on before. “I loved you two weeks ago as well.”
“I know,” Arthur said. “Things were more…complicated then. I thought there was someone else.” Merlin’s expression turned pained, and Arthur winced. “No, no, not like that. It was you; you’re the other person.”
Merlin stared at him. “What?”
Arthur rubbed a hand over his face. “It’s…there’s someone else who could explain this better than I could, except he probably wouldn’t, because he mostly just talks in circles-”
Merlin snorted. “Big guy, a bit scaly, lives under the castle and spouts riddles about Destiny?” Arthur nodded again, surprised. “Yeah, we’ve met.”
Arthur laughed. He didn’t know why he was surprised, really. “Of course you have. He’s been telling me that I have a soul mate named Emrys since I was six. And I knew if I let myself start something with you, even though I wanted to, it could never be uncomplicated. I didn’t want to give myself the chance to fall in love with you because it felt like I was being…unfaithful. To Emrys.”
Merlin stared for another long moment. “Let me get this straight. You wouldn’t allow yourself to fall in love with me, because that would mean being unfaithful to…me.” A bright grin spread across his face. “You’re an idiot.”
Arthur scowled. “This is entirely your fault, you know. This wouldn’t have been a problem if you just had one name like everyone else.” Merlin started to laugh and Arthur stepped forward, kissing him back into silence and taking advantage of his open mouth to slip his tongue inside.
When they pulled apart again, they were both breathless. “We should probably get out of here,” Merlin said. “I’m not sure how long it’ll take them to wake up, but they probably know healing magic.”
“We should take them back to Camelot,” Arthur said, knowing even as he said it that they wouldn’t.
Merlin shook his head. “If they come for us again, they come. But if you show them mercy, perhaps they’ll begin to understand that you’re not your father.”
Arthur nodded once and turned around, taking in their surroundings fully for the first time. He couldn’t see castle turrets anywhere in the distance. “I don’t suppose you know where we are.”
“I think I can get us home,” Merlin said simply, and when Arthur turned back to him there was a blue ball of light sitting in Merlin’s hand. He stared at it, shocked, as several things that had never made much sense clicked into place in his mind.
“Of course it was you,” he marveled, and Merlin quirked an eyebrow at him.
“What was me?”
Arthur grinned. “Nevermind. Now come along, Merlin. And put that thing out before we get too close. We can’t have anyone else seeing.”
Merlin returned the grin with a brilliant one of his own. “But you don’t mind?”
“No, Merlin, I don’t mind.”
***
That night, after Merlin had fallen asleep, Arthur slipped out of bed and made his way through the castle.
“You could have told me,” he shouted into the darkness of the cave.
And as he spun around, intent to go curl up next to Merlin once again, he swore he heard a chuckle echoing out from the shadows.