Iridescence Legacy ;; Generation 1.4
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1.1 1.2 1.3
When we last left the Iridescence's, Passion's mid-life crisis did not go well at all and she was pretty much in a constant state of anxiety and panic over what her life had become. Meanwhile, Hank was upset over how his marriage was turning out and tried to find comfort elsewhere, although luckily for me he failed pretty miserably at it. And the girls... well, Autumn was a bit too intense when it came to artwork - which made it difficult for her to find friends - and Energy had just aged up to become a child.
I should warn you before we begin that I am currently sick as all holy hell, so if this isn't as amusing as it usually is I apologize. My brain is mush :/
We start out 1.4 on Leisure Day. I got the idea from another legacy to not control them at all on this holiday, and although I'm a micro-manager (which is why I could never do an ISBI legacy), I thought it might be fun so I gave it a shot.
The morning did not start out so well.
Energy: *grumble grumble* Wtf...
Autumn: Despite all the blatant misogyny and atrocious excuse for a plot, the artistic vision in Breakin Dawn Part 2 was absolutely superb. Although to be quite honest, I was very surprised that they chose to--
Energy: YOU. YOU. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? Do you know what time it is? Do you? Why do you have to be such a flippin' nutter all the time? STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF, IT'S NOT AMUSING.
Autumn: I'm not, I'm talking to my imaginary--!
Energy: YOU KNOW, THIS IS SO THE KIND OF CRAP THAT IS GONNA GET YOU LOCKED UP IN A MENTAL WARD ONE DAY. NOW BE QUIET.
Yeahhh... a light sleeper sharing a room? Clearly not one of my better decisions. But I have no where else to put her, so she's gonna have to deal with it.
Also, at this point, I broke my rule of no controlling them because I was getting angry at Energy's hair. For some reason the child version of it left orange spots on her cheeks. Apparently whoever made it didn't notice this problem, but it bothered me so I made her change it.
Much better.
Okay, back to no touching.
Autumn: ♫ Pink, it was love at first sight. Pink, when I turn out the light. Pink, it's like red but not quite... ♫
Passion: Ugh, look at that little shitter over there singing to herself. Maybe if she learned proper bathroom etiquette she would have never lost her damn mind.
Passion: Hank, we need to do something about that girl. She's got a one way ticket to crazytown and we ain't got the funds to pay for it.
Autumn: I can hear you, you know!
Poor misunderstood child.
I loved this, ngl. Some autonomous lovin' from the sometimes questionable happy couple? YES PLEASE.
This is where you belong, Hank. RECOGNIZE.
Hank: My daring, I am sorry for thinking that I could ever stray from your warm, yet slightly psychotic embrace. You are my sun, my stars, my everything.
Passion: Oh, Hank. You're so-- wait, you thought about doing what now?
Hank: Hush, my love. We shall speak of this no more. Let us seal my promise of forever with a kiss.
Aww.
When left to his own devices, this is all Hank does. That damn sprinkler must give him sexual gratification or something because damn.
... I rest my case.
Energy played with her blocks for an obnoxiously long time, which was nice because she at least wanted to learn something during her free time. Unlike everyone else.
But then the TV watching came and, well, Energy probably should have stuck to playing upstairs.
Passion: Sports? Don't you think that's a little... butch?
Energy: Yeah, if you're trying to conform me to gender norms. God, Mom; wake up and smell the 21st century.
Passion: There's no need to get your boxers in a bunch over it. I'm just saying that it might be good for your future romantic entanglements if you took up a more girly hobby; say, cooking or something. A way to a man's penis is his stomach, after all!
Energy: If you don't stop talking right now I'm pretty sure my brain is going to explode all over your nicely painted walls. GTFO.
You tell her!
Eep! Birthday time!
HFJDKFJKF YOUR FACE. I LOVE IT. Omgosh <3
Autumn rolled the trait hot headed. But I think it been pretty obvious already that she can get that way sometimes; especially when it comes to art. Seriously though, bitch be cray-cray.
...Wait, what?
FUCKERS. I thought this thing went away once the child became a teen! Does it never leave? Because idk if I'm okay with that -__- GOD DAMN YOU, GAME. You make no sense. No one sane has an imaginary friend at this age.
But whatever.
Immediately after Autumn aged up, Passion and Hank won a free vacation to the middle of buttfuck nowhere. Being the irresponsible parents that they are, they left the insane hipster in charge.
...This will go well.
Energy: Weee!!!
Yeah, because that seems safe.
... Shit.
SEE, THIS IS WHY I NEED TO CONTROL YOU AT ALL TIMES. YOU ARE UTTERLY USELESS ON YOUR OWN.
Autumn: OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT #PANICMODEACTIVATED
Wow. I kinda hate you a little, kid. Do you realize how much it's going to cost to replace all that? YOU CAN BARELY AFFORD A BUCKET TO SHIT IN. Why must you do this to me? WHYYYYYY
Dreaming of your little stunt, are you? Go fuck yourself -__-
Anyway, the next day came and I was finally allowed to be their God again. YAY :D
I have no idea how people manage to do ISBI legacies, I really don't; I'd probably end up hanging myself, lol. Shit drove me nuts.
Energy heads to a friend's house after school for a study session, and all seems to go well... at first.
Joanne: You know, if we were allowed to do our homework on the computer, this would go a lot faster. Why they continue forcing us to use these barbaric methods, I'll never know.
Energy: Touché, my wise friend. Touché.
But then the full moon rose.
Damnit, Energy; you would unknowingly become friend's with a werewolf, wouldn't you?
Needless to say, she gtfo as fast as she could after that little incident :/ Poor abandoned werewolf girl. SHE NEEDS FRIENDS TOO, YOU KNOW.
Meanwhile, back at the house, Autumn decided to throw a party. Sort of.
Autumn: This is my party? This? My imaginary friend and my best friend does not a party make -__-
Sorry babe; try as I might, I can't work miracles. Maybe you should try making some other friends first? Idk, just a thought.
Aw, but look! Devon grew up to be a little cutey. Yeah, he's a bit tubby and could probably do with different hair, but he has potential.
Then Margo strolls in like she owns the joint.
Margo: Fashionably late, HOLLA.
Fashionably? You're two hours late! GET A WATCH.
Oh, what's this? Could it be that Autumn sees potential in Devon as well?
Autumn: This might be all the beer talking, but I think you're kinda sexy right now. You know, despite the fact that you're so ridiculously uncultured because wow, dude.
Devon: Why thank you, I've been practicing my 'come hither' look in the mirror every day since I was twelve; I'm glad you noticed.
Autumn: Oh, I noticed.
OMG YOU TWO. STOP. YOU'RE TOO ADORABLE.
Margo's just chillin' on the couch alone while all this goes down. Or, at least, she believes she's alone.
YOU, SIR, ARE CREEPY AS FUCK.
Autumn: Maybe we should take this upstairs and I can show you how to paint my canvas...
Ew, you did not just use that as a pickup line, did you? COME ON.
OKAY, NO.
STOP.
JUST.
HDGSKFDHGSFJKDHF
500% done with this doll. Someone tell me how to get rid of it, please.
Also, wtf happened to her hair when she got naked? THAT IS NOT OKAY.
Alright, now this seems like a teen party, bahahaha.
...Aw, crap.
Double crap.
Passion: I SHOULD FLOG YOUR ASS WITH A BAMBOO STICK, YOU DISOBEDIENT LITTLE SHIT. WHAT KIND OF CRACK HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING THAT YOU THOUGHT I WOULD ALLOW YOU TO HAVE A PARTY IN MY HOUSE? YOU ARE GROUNDED UNTIL THE NEXT TIME YOUR FATHER AND I HAVE BONDAGE FUN. HINT: THAT WILL BE NEVER.
Autumn: Dad likes it kinky? Ugh, I think I'm gonna be--
... Oh hell no.
Ngl, I have always used risky woohoo and it has never amounted to anything. EXCEPT NOW, APPARENTLY. So I sent Autumn off to the hospital to have an abortion because lololol no, you are not having a kid this early into your teen years; I will not allow it.
Btw, Passion's garden is neither magnificent nor bad ass. It's quite sad, actually. She sucks at gardening.
I suck at gardening.
HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS THIS THING FREAKING MOVES. WHUT. WHY. HOW. HFJKSNDFBHJ /RUNS
Since Energy has the athletic trait, she tends to autonomously work out in front of the tv a lot, even though this apparently does nothing for her skill-wise. idk why :/
Hank: So, kid; I see you've been hanging out with a lot of girls lately. Any of them catch your eye?
Energy: Omg, just because I hang out with girls doesn't mean I want kiss any of them!
Hank: Hey, whoa. Just saying, it might be prudent of you to become a lesbian. I mean, you got the sporty thing down, so why not? Come on, I always wanted a son.
Energy: First of all, no one chooses to be gay! It's not like deciding to learn French; sexual preference is something people are born with, you mindless lunatic. Secondly, no matter which way you put it, lesbians are not and never will be men. Were you mentally damaged at a young age, or do you just live under a rock? SERIOUSLY THOUGH, THIS FAMILY. UGH.
Energy: Mom, Dad keeps trying to force me into lesbianism because I want to be strong and athletic. Tell him to stop.
Passion: Mind your father, dear; he knows best. Now sit down and eat your food like a good little gay girl.
Energy: ...I will kill you all in your sleep.
Energy: UGH, LIVING WITH THESE PEOPLE IS SO HARD.
I know, dear. /pets
I'm just going to take a moment here to expressly state how much I hate Autumn's need to change into formal wear every two freaking seconds. THE PROPER TRAIT IS FLAWED BECAUSE OF THIS. It drives me nuts, ugh.
Oh right, then a stray dog wandered into their house and died on the carpet. Even though everyone in the house had only seen this animal for two seconds, it apparently warranted an hour of mourning ¬_¬
Which was shortly followed by screaming.
Hank: Explain to me, Autumn, how one manages to get a D in English. YOU SPEAK IT, DON'T YOU? How hard can it be?!
Autumn: Dude, chill out. Focusing on schoolwork disrupts my artistic vision and slows down the creative process, you know? You should be happy that I'm following my dreams and aren't hellbent on becoming some two-bit sellout like most of those uncultured posers that populate that sorry excuse for an educational institute.
Hank: IF YOU DON'T START BRINGING HOME A'S, YOUNG LADY, YOUR MOTHER WILL CUT OFF YOUR FACE AND EAT IT FOR DINNER.
Autumn: Dafuq did you just say...?!?!
Passion: *cannibalistic howl of terror*
...Ahahahaha.
Karma, ladies and gentlemen.
Passion: This is so not funny -__-
Oh, but it is though.
Since Autumn is perpetually grounded, she had to sneak out to go to Prom. WITH HER BOYFRIEND DEVON, BTW <3 Anyway, she somehow managed to get prom queen, even though she has a grand total of two friends o.O idk, man. This game has an odd definition of the word 'popular.'
Birthday time! :D
OH THANK GOD.
She rolled perfectionist, and I think that's fitting because OH MY GOD ISN'T SHE JUST PERFECT?! *happy sigh*
The Legacy Continues Here...