Sherlock: Starting Again

[awanderingbard]

Title: Starting Again
Characters: John, Sherlock
Rating: R
Warnings/Triggers: much cursing, a few references to PTSD
Pairings: John/Mary (mentioned)
Spoilers: The Empty Hearse
Word Count 2,389
Summary: John and Sherlock have a heart to heart.
Author's notes: [Notes are Series Three spoilery] I've seen a few blog posts around about how Sherlock never actually explains to John why

Comments

[frozen_delight]

Right now I adore you, you know that? Nothing will ever right all the wrongs of Season 3 for me, but at least your gorgeous story made me feel a little better about all that stuff. What a lovely conversation between Sherlock and John - it rings so true. I just wish we'd seen that on screen.

You have a great talent for coming up with incredibly evocative and funny one-liners. This one was just hilarious:

“Can I put out the fire first, or is it urgent?”

I really liked to see how Sherlock was reflecting the time when he was away and how he came back and was overwhelmed by the changes in everything and everyone that once constituted his life in London.

“I keep forgetting I was dead. I wasn't. So, I thought of it as being away. It made things...easier.”

“When I was away,” he said. “I had an image of...home. I had image of the people here, in my head. You and Mrs Hudson and Lestrade, and London, and 221B, and work. I kept them in storage. I never thought about time passing, here, because it didn't here-” he pointed to his head. “But

[awanderingbard]

Nothing will ever right all the wrongs of Season 3 for me, but at least your gorgeous story made me feel a little better about all that stuff. What a lovely conversation between Sherlock and John - it rings so true. I just wish we'd seen that on screen.

Series Three was a victim of its own hype, I think. We had two years to hope and wonder and psych ourselves up, and it couldn't possibly live up to all that we were hoping for. Overall, I could see what they were trying to do, but I don't think they got there. Except for the second episode, which was pure perfection for me. I wish all three writers would collaborate more often.

He's such a sad, scared and needy child, isn't he? And the beautiful thing is that John knows all this and understands.One thing I noticed in all those blog posts was how angry people were at Sherlock, and I get that, he behaved appallingly, but to me, it all seemed out of desperation and not evilness. We feel bad for John, because he's the one who's our representative on the show, but I thought that

[donutsweeper]

This was great. It really bothered me how little time and attention was spent on John learning what truly happened and the reasoning behind it and him dealing with the new information, you've fitted this in nicely.

[awanderingbard]

Thank you! You were one of the people I was thinking of when I wrote it, so I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[aelfgyfu_mead]

I stopped taking note of the lines I wanted to quote after I lost count of them. They all ring right, one after another: John angry (and cussing), Sherlock waffling between diverting and really trying, and the fact that in the end, John's not so much persuaded by Sherlock's explanation as just appreciative that he finally gave one. Much better than the business on the Underground car.

Your explanation here fits mine very much: Sherlock kept everything in stasis in his head and couldn't really handle the mismatch with reality. He's not trying to be a jerk; he just has no idea how he should behave, or what John actually needs (I love the thing about the fevers, with bonus reference to Victorian times!).

"She was always much more adoring in my head.”
And the funny thing is that John wasn't-or maybe that's the John in Sherlock's head as he's returning and making a hash of everything. I think he knew he was screwing up, and he just had no idea what else to do. Good thing John was there to tell him. Eventually. When he'd finished

[awanderingbard]

John's not so much persuaded by Sherlock's explanation as just appreciative that he finally gave one.

Oh, good! I was worried about that. I didn't want him just to be 'yeah, okay, sounds cool' (which, to be fair, is pretty much what canon!Watson does in the original stories) but I did want him to sort of accept that this is what Sherlock thought he was doing, and maybe that's not understandable, but perhaps forgivable in time.

He's not trying to be a jerk; he just has no idea how he should behave, or what John actually needs (I love the thing about the fevers, with bonus reference to Victorian times!).

I think Sherlock is sincere about what he says on the train, and his pretending to die isn't real, as he knows he's disarmed the bomb, but the sentiment is real. And the laughing and mocking is a desperate attempt to cover up that he was being sentimental. I think the mocking is not calculated cruelty, it's Sherlock trying to get John to think it wasn't as important to him as it was. It's not the right thing to do by any means,

[shadowfireflame]

Oh, yay, I really wanted to see this scene.

“Can I put out the fire first, or is it urgent?”

Hahahahaha, yes. And then Sherlock waiting as the flames grow for John to respond...and this is how the force of Sherlock’s personality takes over everything just because his interests are so overpowering and, well, fun (and dangerous). And that’s part of why I love him so much. :)

“I don't know what you call it when a friendship is terminated,” Sherlock said. You’re going to kill me with these lines. I’m serious, I teared up at this one. So outwardly calm while hiding his terror that this could actually happen to their friendship

[awanderingbard]

I still think in canon John hasn’t fully realized everything Sherlock went through in breaking down Moriarty’s network alone, all by himself (he was tortured!! And it took Sherlock Holmes two years, my goodness), but maybe he will think about the implications of that later.

I think that the negative reactions I've seen toward The Empty Hearse and Sherlock in it forget about that, too. His behaviour isn't right, of course, or good, but it's understandable behaviour for a man who has been totally isolated and desperately trying not to let anyone discover who he really is, and living in his mind palace with his friends. John maybe not have chosen to keep up his friendships, but he had support if he wanted it. Sherlock was alone, and never good with people to begin with. Two years of isolation is just going to make your social skills worse. I see his regression to his pre-John self as very natural.

I'm glad you enjoyed the story! Thank you for commenting!