Fanfiction: The Seventh Lesson (Chapter 5/5)
Characters: Tackey, Junno and Tsubasa
Pairing: TakiTsuba
Genre: AU, angst, friendship and romance
Rating: PG13
Summary:
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
(By T S Eliot)
Disclaimer: I’m still searching for a world where the boys are mine.
Chapter 1/5
Chapter 2/5 (Special Guests: Jin and Ryo)
Chapter 3/5 (Special Guests: Ueda and Pi)
Chapter 4/5 (Special Guests: Pi and Kame)
Pictures are from Google search.
The Seventh Lesson (Chapter 5/5)
All was serene and calm. Perhaps it was the proximity to the temple that brought about such tranquility. Takki was slowly sipping his piping hot chrysanthemum tea when he was interrupted by an impromptu poem.
闲梦远 My idle dreams roam far,
南国正芳春 To the southern land where spring is fragrant.
船上管弦江面渌 Wind and strings play on a boat on the river's clear surface,
满城飞絮滚轻尘 The city is full of catkins flying like light dust.
忙杀看花人 People are occupied admiring the flowers.
闲梦远 My idle dreams roam far,
南国正清秋 To the southern land where autumn is clear.
千里江山寒色远 For a thousand li over rivers and hills cold colours stretch far,
芦花深处泊孤舟 Deep in flowering reeds, a solitary boat is moored.
笛在月明楼 Beneath the bright moon, a flute plays in the tower.
The tea stall’s only other customer, a young gentlemen with a perpetual smile and an awkward limp, was the composer.
‘Are you a traveller too?’
Takki was always excited to meet fellow travelers. They often told interesting stories.
‘No, unfortunately. I’m very much local. But I would love to travel.’
‘Then why don’t you?’
The smile dimmed a little.
‘I’ve my father to look after.’
Junno, a young poet, had hoped to make a name for himself in the capital. But family circumstances weighed him down.
‘My father recently remarried, against the advice of a prophesier. It was said that my birth sign clashed with his new wife’s. And as predicted, my stepmother died shortly after the marriage. My father was so guilt-ridden that he fell ill soon after.’
Takki was surprised that the young man’s smile hid such a tragedy.
‘Are you the only one in the family?’
‘I've a step-brother, or used to. He left, after… an incident.’
Junno didn’t explain further, he only looked at his limp.
His step-sibling became understandably depressed at the passing of his beloved mother. But the depression soon turned violent. One day, he beat Junno so bad that his younger brother would never walk normally again.
‘My brother, Jin, is a painter. Before the death, he would paint lavish paintings of mountains and I would write the accompanying poems. We were a team.’
Knitting his brow, Takki was momentarily distracted by the name ‘Jin’. It sounded rather familiar.
‘Do you hate your brother?’
Junno’s face clouded.
‘At first I accepted it - my leg for his mother’s life. But an ironic thing happened. One day, the prophesier came to our door. He kowtowed and begged for forgiveness. He said it was a lie, his prophecy was a lie. My leg... it was all for nothing!’
Takki had wanted to ask if the prophesier was Kame, his earlier friend. But seeing the agitated Junno, Takki fell silent. Somehow he felt vaguely responsible that a friend of his was the root of such grave injustice.
‘Sometimes I wished I never knew. Then I wouldn’t be habouring this hatred. If only the prophesier wasn’t so selfish. He took cared of his guilt. But what about my burden?’
For Junno, the pain didn’t end there. His father insisted that he went to the temple everyday to pray for Jin’s safe return. It was an instruction Junno adhered to religiously.
‘Why do you do it?’
‘For my father. It would ease his heart to know that deities are protecting his distant stepson.’
‘What about your pain?’
‘My pain? Everyday I come here out of obligation, out of a sense of duty. But one day… I hope I can let go of all this hurt inside, and pray sincerely with all my heart. One day, I hope to do it out of love.’
‘Love?’
‘Yes. Love. They say it conquers all. I certainly hope so.’
Amazed at Junno’s selflessness and desire to transcend above his suffering, Takki looked on the young man with deep respect. He too hoped that love would be the answer for Junno.
With the south wind blowing, Takki watched the cloud pass from Junno’s face and heaved a soft sigh of relief.
Reflecting on the numerous friends and lessons along the way, Takki asked himself.
‘Is love the answer for me too?’
Much had been learnt since he answered the call of his wanderlust, but perhaps the most important lesson still eluded him. If the main purpose of life was to learn how to love and be loved, then Takki still had along way to go.
………….
秋风清 The autumn air is clear,
秋月明 The autumn moon is bright.
落叶聚还散 Fallen leaves gather and scatter,
寒鸦栖复惊 Trembling crows perch and startle
相思相见知何日 I don‘t know when we’ll meet again.
此时此夜难为情 Tonight, this moment is unbearable.
In a hushed voice, Takki recited the poem, one of the many, lying on the zitan table.
入我相思门 If you enter my gate of longing,
知我相思苦 You would understand the pain of my longing.
长相思兮长相忆 Long yearning recalls long memories.
短相思兮无尽极 Short yearning has no end.
早知如此绊人心 If I knew my thoughts of you would be so tangled,
何如当初莫相识 Wouldn‘t it be better if we had never been acquainted?
何如当初莫相识 Might as well we had never been acquainted.
Takki knew that he would be missed. After all, he missed too. But he didn’t expect it to be so long and deep.
…………..
Crown Prince Tsubasa sobbed controllably. Pressing both palms firmly to his nose and mouth, he hushed his wails. The sight before him consumed him with a concoction of shock, disbelief, relief and incredible joy. Takki was sleeping curled up like a baby next to him. If this was a dream, he didn’t want to wake up.
He knew what awaited him at daybreak - a half-life. He didn’t want to spend another waking moment in that room that reeked of emptiness, a room that he had wrecked and burnt down, yet rebuilt. It looked like how it used to be. But there was no trace of Takki anymore. They had all been burnt away. If only he could burn his memories away too. But he couldn’t and he couldn’t bear to. Piercingly painful as they were, they were all he had. If he didn’t even have those memories, he would have nothing.
The torrent of tears might have blurred his vision, but he felt it acutely. The sleeping figure was now awake, wiping and kissing away his tears.
It felt like forever since Takki last kissed Tsubasa. And it was the first time he tasted his tears. He savoured it carefully to ingrain that taste into his memory, like how he could still distinctly recall the taste of the other boy’s sweat and cum.
Comforting the weeping boy, Takki cradled the pretty face into his bosom. Gradually, the soft whimpers were slowly being drowned out by the howling winds outside.
‘Could it be this simple?’
Takki asked himself as he stroked the head of soft silken strands.
‘Could this be the meaning of my life?’
That notion astonished Takki. It seemed he had left on a long and winding journey of discovery only to return to where he had started and know the place for the first time.
End of Story
Note: The first poem is by Li Yu, the rest are from Li Bai and the translations are from http://www.ttxyy.com/Article/fanyi/201008/80790.html. Thank you for following through with this story. It’s my first attempt at a moral-like genre.
Next up, my 40th title, More Than Meets the Eye! It is dedicated to i_ate_a_panadol, who originated the idea of it.