And It's All I Have To Believe In

[avenue]

Let's get fucked up and die.
For the last time, with feeling,
we'll try not to smile
As we cover our heads and drink heavily into the nights

Comments

[h311ybean]

You are not inferior. (And Kuya is not perfect, hahaha. I'm not, either, but I'm more perfect than him :-p OK, back to the topic

[avenue]

(Yeah, dad was discussing about learning from older siblings' mistakes, and tingin kami ni kuya sa kwarto mo, "Mistakes??" :D)

Well, I don't remember what drove me to draw except cartoons--but one of the reasons was probably you. And I want to learn ltos of languages, even if I'm not good at Filipino na nga. :))

A-and..if sinabi mo man to sa harap ko, I think iiyak lang ako. Haha. Nakakahiya lang. And if sinabi ko naman sa folks, they'll just think I'm overracting.

Nakakatakot eh--parang kulang ng oras. For all the things that I want to accomplish, it's like there's no more time.

And okay, I'll tyr to look for Christina.

And yeah, we talked about that rin, when you'll be coming back. August/September? I'll be in college, and 18 na siguro. But you'll be 31. :P

[windblownglass]

i know what you mean. my dad's not particularly bright (he's the one who gives sermons in the family, though), but my mom's a lawyer, and my brother, who is an arogant, cocky jerk, just got a scholarship to ism (international school manila). in fact, as i write, he's taking placement tests to see whether he should be in advanced classes or not. you'd think scholars were automatically put into advanced classes i feel inferior too.

but i'm so annoyed with hearing that i'm nothing, that i'm going to prove them wrong.

don't let your fear or worry get the better of you. it'll only distract you from what you have to do - focus. you're smart, ria! and i know you're one of the stronger people in the yfu group. you can do this.

sorry i can't say anything that'll actually help you. ♥

[avenue]

My siblings have lots to boast about. It's hard because while I want to boast, I can't, because I have nothing to show.

It feels so unshamelessly good to prove to people, especially myself, that I can be something. But at the same time, if I can't satisfy myself, I can hardly satisfy anyone.

And even if I'm satisfied with something I did, and I show it to my mom or something, they're all, "*nods* That's nice." And it gets really disheartening, y'know?

*sigh* It's really nice that you think I'm strong. Because of people like you, I do want to be stronger. I guess..the only enemy I have is myself.

Thanks. :)

[windblownglass]

i'm nodding to everything you've said. as in, literally nodding.
finally someone else gets what i've been trying to explain to my achiever!friends.

keep your friends close, but your enemies closer? :) then again, if friend=enemy=yourself.. ;)

you're welcome. ♥

[avenue]

Oh, I more than get it. xD I think about things too much. It's completely analyzed. so if you need anyone to talk to about that thing, we'll go emo together. XDD

friend=enemy=yourself=narcissism

♥

[kagechii]

*huggles* Your family seems hard to live up to, but don't give up! Don't feel like a failure! You are your own person, you get to make your own choices, don't feel intimidated by their accomplishments, just focus on creating your own at your own pace. Mah, I'm so not good with words, but you are at least feeling a little better now right?

[avenue]

Thanks so much ;^;
I do want to take things at my own pace (lol very slow ._.), but there's so much I want to accomplish for myself. :D So it can get hard. But I guess, with people like you and everyone, it enables me to keep going forward. :D