The Dating Pool

[autumndreamer76]

A few months ago I joined Plenty of Fish. I haven't had any luck at the site because all the guys are usually so far away. Back on the 2nd two guys contacted me and they were both listed in my town. The first one, Kevin, I didn't end up talking to for more than a day or two. I continued to talk to the second one, Scott. As it turned out, Scott and

Comments

[linsadair]

I am old fashioned. I think people should make up their minds. If you don't want to be married anymore, then end it. If your spouse doesn't want to be married anymore, then wither work things out or don't before you start another relationship.

That's just me. I can't really do more than one thing at a time, so I may be the wrong one to talk to. I think your rebound theory might be correct whether he means it that way or not. I think you are wise in thinking he may not be ready to date yet. That doesn't mean you can't hang out with him. But if you're looking for something serious, it may take awhile.

Just my thoughts. What do I know? I've only, er, "been" with one man. I only know the theory behind these things. Just be happy. Cripes. Life is too short for settling.

[star_lace]

I cannot warn you enough: stay away from guys who are "separated". I watched my mom go through this with online dating. Most of them have no intention of leaving their wives (especially if they still call them that). And some of them are actually living perfectly happy lives while two-timing their wives with innocent women they prey on online. There's a good chance his wife never cheated, never took the kids, etc...he's the one cheating and she probably has no idea. And that week where he didn't talk to you? That wasn't his wife giving him grief...that was him being home with his wife doing the husbandly duties she expects of him (with her blissfully unaware of his "online activities"). Or that was him being with his "weekday" girlfriend. But it wasn't his wife nagging. And if a guy is into you, nothing short of a coma or coffin is going to keep him from calling you at some point during a whole week. Seriously, trust your instinct and stay away from anyone you meet online who is still married...nine times out of ten, they're never

[crystalsc]

I think your thoughts are completely valid. He doesn't seem like a bad guy from anything you've said. When you first said, "He called me back and admitted that he had forgotten about our date." I thought, well 1)he called you back so he does want to talk to you and isn't avoiding and 2)he was honest about forgetting. Honesty is good.
But, due to his circumstances I think you have every right to be cautious. There can be a lot of baggage there. How long was he married? Three months seems awfully soon to be jumping into the dating pool. He might be trying to keep his mind off of his troubles and just have some positive, happy times to offset the stress in his life right now. Which isn't a bad thing as long as you're both aware that that's what this is.
Maybe you should talk to him about it. Two dates is enough I think to approach the conversation of "We are going forward as friends" or "We are going forward as potential dating partners".