Call boy - Chapter 3: Forth and back

[yoru_no_hikaru]

Pairing: KinKi Kids
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Don't own them, just love them ^^
Setting: canon
Warnings: Just a bit angsty, but mainly safe
Multi-Chapter

Notes: Hello, everybody! How are you guys? I haven't really been around a lot. It makes me feel sad, I miss working on my communities a lot, but work keeps draining me so much it's very hard to sit down and work on my stories, even though I love them and I miss developing them. As it is, things have eased out a bit, so I'm trying to work on a few things, here and also on kotsu_realm I plan an update there too, so please look forward to it.

PS: No sex in this one. ^^" Please don't hate me, but it's the part of the story where Koichi's character gets in the way of things. XD Hope you enjoy even so. ^^

Intro: It's been several weeks now since Tsuyoshi called Koichi for help during a stormy night and they started a new rather delicate ritual that neither of them has abandoned ever since. It's a new night, it's a new call - but this time things are going to go slightly different...


“Hey.”
“Hey.”
Koichi’s stomach was doing unreasonable and disturbing flips as he heard the voice of his partner. Even so he wouldn’t let himself get distracted from what they wanted to do. Their calls had become a custom very much appreciated by him. Too much so, when he was being honest with himself. Ever since his talk with Nagase he’d been thinking about the strange development he’d been going through, but had only found that he could not get himself to cut into this thing while it was pleasing him in one way and not disturbing him in any other. Why did everything always have to be labeled anyway? Wasn’t a thing okay, just the way it was without stupid questions asked, so long as everybody was fine with it? He and Tsuyoshi… they were special to begin with. And he never bothered to listen to what anyone else might be saying, so he decided that it was okay to simply enjoy.

“How was your day?”
Koichi blinked at the question. It was not exactly out of the ordinary, but somehow Tsuyoshi’s voice sounded strange.
“Ah… okay, I guess,” he answered warily. “Uchi-kun has improved quite some. Yaracchi is working with him a lot.”
“That’s good,” Tsuyoshi answered. “It’s nice that you had fun at work.”
“Thanks,” Koichi smiled. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, fine,” the other replied.
“Well, then…”
“Koichi?”

Koichi started for a second at the voice that cut into his words.
“Yes?” he then asked, starting to feel really awkward.
“Tonight,” Tsuyoshi continued carefully, “can we… talk?”
“Talk?” Koichi repeated, frowning. “What do you mean? Talk about what?”
“I don’t know,” Tsuyoshi admitted. “Just… talk. About anything.”
“So, you mean you don’t want to…”
Tsuyoshi sighed. “I’m sorry, I just… it feels weird, doesn’t it?”
“What does?” Koichi wanted to know.

“That we never phone for anything but… well, the one thing,” the other tried to explain.
“So, you want this call to be about… something else,” Koichi wanted to confirm.
“Yeah, let’s just… talk randomly,” Tsuyoshi suggested.
“But we do that whenever we meet anyway,” Koichi argued.
Tsuyoshi chuckled slightly. “Have you been waiting for my call?” he asked in a slightly amused voice.
Koichi blushed at that. “That… no,” he blurted out.
“No?” Tsuyoshi kept probing. “And you weren’t gonna call me?”
“Not for idle conversation anyway,” Koichi retorted.
“My, bitchy,” the other teased. “Not getting any?”
“Very funny,” Koichi scoffed.

“Look,” Tsuyoshi tried to explain, “it’s not like I don’t want to anymore. I… I like it.”
Koichi detected from his voice that the acknowledgment of that statement was hard on his partner and he immediately felt very sympathetic towards him. So Tsuyoshi too was troubled by the coping with the new situation.
“I know what you mean,” Koichi answered readily.
“Thank you,” came the reply and Koichi found that his partner sounded relieved. “So, only tonight, is it okay if we just talk?”
“I still don’t know what I should be talking about,” Koichi admitted.
“Anything,” the other offered. “You’re always full of weird stories. Tell me one.”
Koichi laughed at that. “You want to do fan talk?”
“Your enthusiasm towards things you enjoy can be quite refreshing,” Tsuyoshi told him. “Feel free.”

“Okay,” Koichi agreed. “You know, I don’t usually go full out at work. I always think that people will be weirded out. But there was a report yesterday that totally flashed me. You know, there was…”
And so they had a rather uneventful talk, although they both noticed that they had a tendency to talk more leisurely about things they would not mention when together usually - although Koichi at one point mused that the reason for that was mainly that normally they were never alone when together and it felt weird to talk that way when people were listening. After they ended their call Koichi remained lying on his bed, thinking. It had been a really good talk, but somehow something still felt weird.
He wondered if he was secretly still craving a different kind of satisfaction that his partner had been so attendant to during the past weeks. While he was still considering if he should simply relief himself and check the result of that his phone suddenly rang again, making him jump slightly. He blinked as he read the display, but then quickly picked up.
“Forgot something?” he asked plainly.
There was no answer for a few seconds, making Koichi frown.

“Let’s meet up,” Tsuyoshi’s voice finally sounded.
Koichi was taken so aback he didn’t quite know what to say.
“What - you mean now?” he blurted out almost unconsciously.
“Now.”
Koichi bit his lip. Somehow that didn’t feel like a very good idea. Or more like, he wasn’t sure what meeting Tsuyoshi in that situation would do to him. At the same time his mind kept working up ideas of possibilities where such a meeting could be leading and he found more than just one option rather tempting. His mind felt disturbed and it took him a while to realize that he had remained silent for an inappropriate amount of time.
“Where?” he finally asked.
The following second he blinked. Had he just said that?
“You can drop by,” Tsuyoshi suggested.
“What - your place?”

“Well, if it’s bothersome for you, I can get to your place too,” the other offered.
“Yeah…” Koichi dragged out. “I mean, why don’t we meet… you know, for dinner, or something?”
“Feel free to have anything you want,” the younger man told him.
For a second Koichi wondered whether the implicational hint of that statement was intended, or if it was just his obviously corrupted mind that made him think in weird ways, but then decided to simply leave that aside.
“No,” he stated, “I meant, you know, why don’t we go out and meet for dinner?”
“It’s a private conversation,” Tsuyoshi told him.
“Well, why don’t we just talk about it now?” the other tried.
“Koichi, this thing is not a phone topic,” the younger man argued.

Once again Koichi felt reluctant. A private non-phone topic?!
“Tsuyoshi, I’m not sure if this is a good idea.”
“That statement alone shows that there is stuff to talk about and we definitely should be meeting,” Tsuyoshi pointed out. “So, how about it?”
Koichi bit his lip once more, but in the end found that his partner was probably right.
“I’ll be there in about 30,” he informed the other.
“Perfect.”

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Koichi’s heart was racing and his guts felt fluttery. He knew it was stupid, but somehow he couldn’t help feeling excited. Furthermore, his confused mind gave him ideas and images of what their meeting would be like. More than once he found his face flushing at certain ideas. He even imagined one scene in which Tsuyoshi would open the door for him and, without even saying a word, simply drag him in and just start kissing him like mad. Koichi’s torn mind was once again very pre-occupied about that idea, one part of him craving the experience and making him press the gas pedal stronger, while the other urged him to slap his own face to regain his senses. No such thing happened, though and thus soon enough Koichi found himself in front of his partner’s door in reality. There was no dragging, or kissing, though, as said door swung open.
“Hi,” Tsuyoshi offered awkwardly, stepping aside and Koichi secretly felt a slight disappointment at the fact that no spontaneous ravaging was coming up.
“Hey,” he answered, a small smile coming to his lips as he stepped inside.
Koichi placed his shoes at the door neatly and then followed his partner into the living room.
“Take a seat,” Tsuyoshi offered kindly.

Koichi complied happily. Somehow his legs were feeling wobbly, so he was happy if he didn’t need their support.
“Anything to drink?” Tsuyoshi asked. “Beer? Tea? Or maybe something stronger?”
“Are you trying to get me drunk?” Koichi asked in a teasing voice that quite surprised even himself.
Apparently it had an effect on Tsuyoshi too, as the other gave him a wary look.
“What are you doing, Koichi?” he asked pointedly.
“What do you mean?” the other asked back, trying to sound innocent.
“Oh, come on,” the younger man stated, rolling his eyes. “First you say something suggestive like that, then suddenly you’re all cool and distant. What are you playing at?”

“What am I playing at?” Koichi asked, voice slightly raised in irritation. “You were the one doing the suggestive talk first, mister. And you are the one who suggested meeting at your place.”
“And you answered to me,” Tsuyoshi argued. “And you came here. And you… you’re flirting.”
“I am,” Koichi admitted. “It’s weird…”
“I really don’t know how to place that,” Tsuyoshi told him. “I mean, what is this? Is it a game? Are we still playing? Or is it something else? I really don’t know anymore. What… Koichi tell me what it is to you.”
The other, however, remained silent, biting his lip, not knowing what to say, or what else to do.
Tsuyoshi sighed. “Okay, I’ll go and get drinks,” he decided. “You can sit down and think of an answer. Because I’m going to need one. But I guess you already know that.”

With that Tsuyoshi swept out of the room, leaving Koichi alone with a turmoil of feelings. He frowned as he looked after the other. What on earth had he been thinking to visit Tsuyoshi in the first place? Had he been speculating for something to happen between them? Was that the reason he had foolishly followed his partner’s call? That would mean that when it came down to it, he actually really wanted to try… the real thing, just like Nagase had said. Was it really like that? Was it worth taking the risk?

Koichi sat down as his thoughts kept running like that. He did not say anything to Tsuyoshi as he came back into the room, putting a small bottle of beer in front of Koichi. The older man merely inspected Tsuyoshi as he moved around the room, got himself his own drink and finally seated himself next to Koichi. He didn’t even wonder about the fact that Tsuyoshi wasn’t talking either, he was way too occupied with asking himself if he had really actually come to have sex with that man. The more he thought about it, the clearer he felt himself panicking, to the point where he felt a strong urge to simply jump up and run. That was out of the question, though. He knew he had to talk to Tsuyoshi and he had to be honest with him. So he decided to simply get it over with.

“Okay, let’s talk,” he finally stated in a voice so calm it surprised himself.
“Finally,” Tsuyoshi sighed out. “I was really growing tired of your staring me down, you know.”
Koichi blushed at that. “Sorry, I… I was thinking about… you know, how to…”
“It’s okay,” the other waved him off. “I’m just glad you’re getting to it. So, what are we talking about?”
Koichi took a deep breath. “I keep thinking about having sex with you.”
Tsuyoshi stared at that. “Wow.”
“Yeah, I… it started a while ago,” Koichi admitted. “Not just when we’re… you know, on the phone, but also when I’m with myself and just thinking stuff up. And I started wondering what it might be like to… to try the real thing.”

The younger man’s eyes grew wide. “What, you mean…”
“Having sex together,” Koichi confirmed. “But Tsuyoshi, I won’t lie to you, that’s getting in too deep. You might think I’m a coward now, but… these thoughts are really bothering me. I just can’t go there. You might hate me now for saying this, but… I’d rather stop our arrangement and go back to how things were before we started phoning regularly.”
“Oh, Koichi,” Tsuyoshi sighed, shaking his head. “I don’t hate you. Actually, I understand what you’re saying. And really, I mean, we both know that this thing wasn’t meant to last. So, if you want to drop it, then let’s drop it.”
Koichi blinked at that. “What - really? I mean, that’s okay for you?”
“Of course,” the other nodded. “I’ve been thinking about all of this myself and… as flattering as your confession is, I understand if you would rather step back. If that’s your choice, I agree with you that dropping our arrangement is the thing to do. I’d just… dwell on it for no good and probably get emotionally involved in a way that will get me hurt.”

“You’re the type for that,” Koichi agreed with a nod.
“So it’s set,” Tsuyoshi confirmed with a smile. “We’ll just be colleagues.”
“Perfect.”
Koichi felt incredibly relieved. Like a heavy weight had been lifted from his heart. All the things that had been occupying his mind seemed to just fly out the window, leaving him light-hearted and unbothered. Finally he didn’t have to deal with all of those confusing feelings anymore. He was honestly happy that Tsuyoshi understood that things had simply gotten too complicated for him. He had started to feel really off and whenever he saw Tsuyoshi there had been that unsettling tension. But with their talk things could finally get back to the way they used to be again. Koichi was sure that would set his mind at ease. Soon they’d be back to normal and all those confusing feelings and what not would be forgotten.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

“What - so you simply let him drop you?” Okada asked in disbelief.
“It’s not like I really thought it would happen,” Tsuyoshi shrugged.
“But it was you who said it,” Okada argued. “You said that it could happen.”
“Yes, that it could happen,” Tsuyoshi pointed out. “Not that it’s bound to. Koichi was very honest with me, explaining his thoughts and feelings. What can I do, but respect his wishes?”
“How about going for your own?” the other suggested. “Tsuyoshi, you don’t always have to take yourself back on him.”
“It’s because he agreed to this that things started out,” Tsuyoshi explained. “It will continue solely with his permission. The moment he takes that away, it would be wrong to continue from my part.”
“So it’s simply over now? Just like that?”
“Just like that.”

“Then… you’re free to… well, to meet with anyone you please?” Okada wanted to confirm.
“I guess so,” Tsuyoshi shrugged.
“Okay,” Okada nodded. “Then, will you go on a date with me?”
Tsuyoshi blinked. “With you? Sheesh, I thought we’d been over that forever by now.”
“We were mere kids,” the other confirmed. “I don’t think it seriously counts as… as anything. We didn’t know anything back then. It was mainly curiosity.”
“I guess so,” Tsuyoshi nodded.
“So, let’s try it,” Okada urged him. “For real. I’ll make you happy,” he promised.
“You sure are bold,” Tsuyoshi laughed. “But well, I guess since I’m free it’s okay to go out.”
“Really?” Okada cheered.
“Sure,” Tsuyoshi nodded happily. “Let’s do that.”

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Nagase glared at Okada and Tsuyoshi as they passed by the table, giving a short nod as a greeting.
Koichi couldn’t help laughing. “You look like one of them dumped you,” he joked.
Nagase merely glared at him. “You’re totally fine with the fact that Okada took your man from you? Such a rat, really.”
“Stop it,” Koichi scolded him playfully. “Okada is a nice guy. And he didn’t take anything or anyone from me. What are you suggesting?”
“I just still can’t believe it’s over between you and Tsuyoshi,” Nagase complained. “I really thought you would hit something off.”
“Well, we talked about it and agreed that it’s better this way,” Koichi shrugged. “I even suggested that.”
“And you’re happy this way?” Nagase asked skeptically.

“Of course, I’m happy,” Koichi chuckled, shaking his head. “I mean, I’m still looking for that significant other, but I’m glad Tsuyoshi found someone. Okada is a nice guy, he will take good care of him.”
“So long as it’s okay for you,” Nagase muttered.
“It is,” Koichi frowned. “What’s with all of that?”
“Sorry, sorry,” Nagase quickly blurted out. “I’ll drop it. I just didn’t want you to… you know, dismiss it too easily and when you look back later regret not doing anything.”
“Don’t be silly,” Koichi laughed.
The second later his gaze swished towards the table Okada and Tsuyoshi were sitting at together, their fingers entwined, smoothing over each other in light strokes playfully as they laughed together. And suddenly Koichi thought the picture was somehow… disturbing. But even more he found he really hated his friend…

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Okay, new chapter finished. :D I'm not all the way happy with how it turned out, but sometimes things just don't go the way you want them to. I'm afraid that there's going to be some nasty stuff until I get those two back together and then to last. ^^" But well, I'll give it my very best. I really hope you like this one. Any comments and/or suggestions are <3 It's so good to post something. I want to keep doing it and update again soon. I hope you'll be coming back too. >^_^<  *hugs all*

Chapter 2

*coming soon*