The Movement of the Earth -- Chapter 12

[audreyii_fic]

Title: The Movement of the Earth
Author: audreyii_fic
Fandom: Twilight (Team Jacob)
Rating: T
Characters: Bella, Jacob, Charlie, and others (J/B)
Genre: Romance/Angst/Wolfpack!Humor
Warnings: Language, violence, and references to adult behavior

Comments

[rayerei]

OHMYGOD BELLA ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING TO SAVE HERSELF. KHJDSGFLISKJVKJHGZ,KDNEGJHAOSXB UOIGSKZG L.FGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE WORLD HAS IMPLODED.

Love the song, love this chapter, and LOVE Victoria. THIS is the way Victoria should have been--creepy, terrifying, and playful.

Excellent job!

[audreyii_fic]

IKR? It's a phenomenon of biblical proportions!

Glad you liked Victoria ;) She shoulda been like this in the books -- or if not this, then at least suitably cool.

[stigmata_crow]

This really illustrates a major flaw in Meyer-writing. I knew what was going to happen by the time Bella woke up. Not that I exactly knew you were going to have Bella set Victoria on fire, but I knew that it was going to come down to a contest of wills and Bella was going to do something desperate. I was all set to break out the Mean Girls quotes and go Boo, you whore, but then I remembered it's not your fault, you have to write this way. She can't write suspense, and in trying to write like her, it's really hard to be suspenseful. It's like she has to know all her pwesshus leetle dumplings are ok before she can continue writing her sparkle laden drivel.

The GOOD about this though is that you ACTUALLY ALLOWED VICTORIA TO BE A CHARACTER AND NOT A PLOT DEVICE. Yay! If nothing else, we have this Audrey. For one chapter, that lovely spark of a character was a person. She wasn't just a mundane thing to structure a bunch of face touching and hand waving around. She was a person. And it was beautiful.I swear I love this story more for the

[audreyii_fic]

I knew what was going to happen by the time Bella woke up.

Yeah, it wasn't really much of a surprise. Not only was it a very traditional set up, a lot of it was drawn from the *framework* of the Eclipse chapter -- you know, if the Eclipse chapter hadn't sucked eight ways from Sunday. Glad you liked Victoria, though -- God, isn't it so much nicer when the side characters get to be actual *characters* instead of just plot devices (and poor plot devices at that)?

I swear I love this story more for the way it proves how shit Meyer is than for the story itself.

Sweetie, I think there's a pretty decent chance that you're going to like my author's note at the end of this fic ;)

[kerame]

Oooh. The last two chapters have been so exciting!

The pride in my chest swelled. It really was an amazing thing, if someone as lowly and human as me could earn the approval of a goddess.

It really is amazing that Meyer sets everything up to show that Bella is addicted to vampires in general, not even Edward specifically, yet the implications of that on her "epic" insta-love.

we may have been able to conclusively prove that the Twilight Saga lowers antibody levels in the human bloodstream. Is there any other explanation for my chronic physical sufferings?The explanation in your case is just the opposite. Your resistance has increased your antibodies, causing the inflammatory reaction. The strategy of the virus is to insinuate itself into your subconscious, weaving itself into the very fibre of your being, using your own energy to increase its effect and spread its contagion

[sleepy_sheep683]

"The explanation in your case is just the opposite. Your resistance has increased your antibodies, causing the inflammatory reaction. The strategy of the virus is to insinuate itself into your subconscious, weaving itself into the very fibre of your being, using your own energy to increase its effect and spread its contagion. The consequences of unchecked, unresisted infection are bad relationships, teenage pregnancy, and fantasies of eternal high school attendance. Think of your sore throat and fever as the cowpox."

ROTFLMAO! I think I heart you.

[ronjacobfan]

It really is amazing that Meyer sets everything up to show that Bella is addicted to vampires in general, not even Edward specifically, yet the implications of that on her "epic" insta-love.

Exactly!

The consequences of unchecked, unresisted infection are bad relationships, teenage pregnancy, and fantasies of eternal high school attendance. Think of your sore throat and fever as the cowpox.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

[audreyii_fic]

It really is amazing that Meyer sets everything up to show that Bella is addicted to vampires in general, not even Edward specifically, yet the implications of that on her "epic" insta-love.

During the line-by-line reread, Bella's reaction to Alice's return can hardly be seen any other way. I mean, dude, *sniffing* her? Really? In that scene more than any other you get the feeling of Bella being a junkie finally scoring her fix. And if Meyer meant to take it that direction, it would have worked. I will never, ever understand how Meyer set up so many sensible themes and didn't even seem to realize it. I've said it elsewhere, but it really feels like she was playing chess, set up some decent-ish gambits, and then wandered away to play Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Think of your sore throat and fever as the cowpox.

I wonder what other immunities it will grant me...

[lsjcandy]

This was way fucking better than Eclipse. I seriously felt nervous, and the game was so Victoria. And hey, you gave her some humor instead of all hatred and revenge.
"I think he likes you," Victoria said in a little sing-songy voice.
HAHA, hands up for the very observant Vicky ;D

I reallyreallyreally liked this, the tension, the slow game, Jacob being unable to do anything (not in the SM-way), Bella finally coming with a plan and sticking to it. Sort of.

And now I hate you and your deadlines, and Wednesday for being so torturously slow.

[audreyii_fic]

A villain with no sense of humor is no villain at all. I am firmly of this belief.

I'm glad you liked :) And yeah, I was mean to Jacob. I like being mean to Jacob. Don't know why, just do.

And now I hate you and your deadlines, and Wednesday for being so torturously slow.

Well, think of it this way -- I could be a once a week updater, or once a month updater, or worse, an inconsistent updater with no schedule at all. ;)

[lsjcandy]

A villain with no sense of humor is no villain at all. I am firmly of this belief.
You're not the only one. I ALWAYS love villains in films or books. Twilight is a half exception, because I don't see Edward as hundred percent good. Fortunately, neither is Jacob. So I love them all, Vicky included.

I'm glad you liked :) And yeah, I was mean to Jacob. I like being mean to Jacob. Don't know why, just do.
Looks like you've actually got something in common with SMeyer..

Well, think of it this way -- I could be a once a week updater, or once a month updater, or worse, an inconsistent updater with no schedule at all. ;)
Forget what I ever said about your updating. I love you *bows*

[lsjcandy]

KSMDFO;HDBISBHOASEI;BNDFL
OMFGOMFGOMFG.

Remember I told you about that Twilightguide some time ago? Okay, brace yourself: I wasn't lying. It's actually going to come out very soon, AS A GRAPHIC NOVEL BLAHBLAH.
http://stepheniemeyer.com/
Here it is, the news of 5 October. Point is, I actually want to read it, just to see if she seriously fucked up every character, even though I know that's masochistic and is going to cause me to talk to non-exsistent persons for the rest of my life (as if I'm not already doing that).

[borntobewild13]

--Victoria looked up from my arm--

--pain shot through my right hand and I clicked on the lighter with my left--

--the wolf's paws flew across the sand--

--Victoria whirled to face her enemy--

--and I jammed the lit lighter into the gaping hole on her side.

That scene, that scene was so very EPIC!!! I could see it in my mind, the bruised sky, the crashing waves, Jacob fursploding, the redness of Victoria's hair in the air, and the crunch and spill of sand under their feet. Then a flash of silver of Embry's lighter and woosh, the roar of fire and the howl of wolves.

And in the middle of all that, Bella. Pale, small, not so helpless Bella.

I'm giddy from this chapter!!!!

[audreyii_fic]

Hee :D Glad it all worked for you visually. That was tricky and mostly came in during editing.

Pale, small, not so helpless Bella.

Bella always thought she was more helpless than she actually was (which wasn't helped by dating someone who constantly reinforced that mindset...).