Sigh

[aubreym]

It was a long day with Tai.  Nothing in particular, just toddler-ness and a tired momma.  Tom had a tough day too - big presentation at work.  He got beer after work, then came home.  Since we were out late at the preschool fair (damn, was that crowded and *insane*.  There were parents there with their infants!  And I thought I was starting too

Comments

[slinksgirl]

No, you are not whiny and lazy!

If he thinks it isn't a full-time-job-plus, perhaps he should try doing it for awhile. It's not just about getting a break; it's about the realization of all that you do!

[aubreym]

Thank you! I'm still hoping for a weekend away all by myself. Then he can experience it, and realize everything that goes into raising a toddler.

[ninjalie]

Gosh thats awfully inconsiderate! :( I'm sorry to hear that things are getting to be that way.

[aubreym]

Thanks. Fortunately he's not always so clueless and inconsiderate, but sometimes I'd like to strangle him. ;)

[alexisyael]

Yeah, you're definitely not lazy or whiny! Working parents often don't have a good idea of what it is to be a full time parent. And ESPECIALLY with nursing/ cosleeping! Yeah, more than full time, that.

I highly recommend a weekend away, when you're ready to leave Tai with Tom. It helped Mike a lot, to have a sense of being full-time. (Albeit without the nursing.)

[aubreym]

Yes yes to a weekend away. I keep talking about it, but now I need to plan it. I've got milk frozen, so Tai and Tom would be fine on their own.

[janisfan]

That's a bunch of bull - even if you were to stop Breastfeeding completely and put Tai in his own room to sleep all night long then you would still be MAMA 24/7. If this mama thing were easy at all then there would not be 2353552 LJ parenting sites (not to mention the web in general plus the millions of parenting books on bookshelves around the planet)

You don't get a break from your "day job" the way that Tom does. You are never free of being Mama. At this stage Tai should be focussed on you - you are his primary attachment. So when you are home he is going to want you (and Tom - but for different reasons)

(That being said perhaps looking at some form of night weaning from BF and/or cosleeping might be helpful; or the stress of it might be less than helpful and not worth the time or energy.)

[aubreym]

It's funny how I still need to be reminded that the mama thing is not easier for everyone else. I mean, I read LJ... I have mama friends. I am a daughter! But sometimes I still get all turned around.

All whining aside, I love that Tai is as focused on me as he is. I know it means healthy attachment and he's so fabulous (I say, unbiased-ly).

Also - am considering our night routines.

Thank you for your support.

[ant5400]

NO WAY! Other people can not do this easily & those who make it LOOK like they do are not 100% there lol.
Men & women are wired differently when it comes to the children & they just don’t get how it feels for us to care for a child 24/7. I also TRY to get a break when my husband comes home from work but usually get "I worked all day & want to relax" He has friends outside of the house & if I ever want to go out alone who am I going to get to watch the kids? You are in NO WAY Whiney Or Lazy. Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world & we don’t get any credit. {HuGs}

[aubreym]

Thank you, thank you.

I so relate to this - having friends out of the house, going out alone. It happens, but so so so rarely.